STEP 3
Induce Recognition of the Stalemate and a Way Out
When conflicting parties cannot see the mess they are in and are not receptive to the possibility of mediated negotiations, the mediator needs to help them perceive their stalemate and the pain associated with it and the possibility of negotiating a way out. These acts of ripening assume that, objectively, a hurting stalemate and the possibility of negotiating a compromise exist and that the subjective appreciation of these facts is absent. The parties will resist, consciously or subconsciously, because they want to win and because they do not want to recognize the situation of entrapment that they have created for themselves-or simply because they do not agree with the mediator's assessment, possibly because they are in possession of information that contradicts it.
Induce Recognition of Stalemate and Pain
All the mediator's skills of persuasion are called on when the mediator must induce the parties to the conflict to recognize that a hurting stalemate exists. Conversations beginning with "Don't you think that.?" "Don't you see that.?" "How long can you.?" "What do you think of.?" are good openers. Diplomacy involves efforts to help the parties see the importance of ending the conflict early rather than prolonging it in the hopes of better fortunes in the future. Because continued conflict means continued costs, and probably rising costs as well, the mediator should strive to persuade the parties to calculate and compare the price they will pay for holding out for an uncertain victory with the benefits they will accrue from negotiating sooner rather than later.
Directly Encourage the Perception of a Stalemate
The mediator should begin by empathizing with and expressing under- standing of the position of the party being addressed, and then draw attention to the facts and press for signs of recognition. One tactic is to start either with the hurt or the stalemate, and then relate it to the other element. Mediators should work to free the parties from thinking in terms of the conflict and their goals in it and instead lo