The proven way to stop once and for all.
This chapter will teach you everything you need to know to quit correctly and never deal with porn addiction again. I have used the same method and successfully recovered for over a year. The very thought of porn appears disgusting to me, all thanks to this method that I am about to show you.
1- Take a vow to yourself that you're never going back under any circumstances. Leave no room for doubt. The belief in your ability to quit needs to be extreme. Allow nothing and no one even to come close to your goal. Regard it as a holy and noble purpose.
2- Stay vigilant and do not take matters lightly. Introduce a sense of urgency and attention.
You must first be warned that our minds follow our will and desire, even subconsciously. What we think and repeat becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try saying you're not confident for a month, and your words will become flesh. Think of yourself as attractive, and act accordingly; as a result, you will be attractive. This goes the same way for porn addiction. Another important fact is that you need to have a hunger to change and an unwavering belief in the ability never to watch porn again.
Unless your goal is never to use porn again, and unless that's what you're going after, there is no point in starting the Nofap challenge. It would probably even do you more damage. You cannot force yourself to do something you dread forever. If you have a passion for porn, it will stay that way until you make an effort to see it; otherwise.
Up until now, you should have assembled enough evidence to support the claim that a life without porn is a better one. Do you imagine the freedom from dependence on porn? Do you seriously not want it? Make sure you have destroyed all the legends and myths that have kept you brainwashed for so long. These legends have only lowered your self-confidence and kept you under porn's grip for far longer than necessary. You should be a better person by now. Do not continue buying into the bullshit anymore.
What should you do if you're deeply hooked on porn?
There are more than enough reasons to quit porn. Still, in your case, the fantasy world of porn has overwhelmed and altered your mind to hallucinate that all that pleasure and penetration should feel natural. You've allowed porn to hypnotise into creating an entirely false image of it in your brain. Let's call it an indestructible illusion. If you seek to come out from that, try the following :
● Look on the internet for people whose lives have been turned upside down because of porn. People who've ended up in jail and are still paying more than they could have ever imagined in their wildest of dreams. It would be therapeutic to reach out to them and learn about the Darkside of porn. There is nothing that could replace genuine communication between two people. Reality is more convincing than digital. Use this psychological effect to your advantage to change your porn view.
● Cut it out for 30 days and experience how frustrating it is when you wake up to the harsh truth that porn occupies a considerable part of your brain and that it's hard to go without having to look into it.
● Look for pornstars who have died at an early age, most of whom committed suicide or a drug overdose because of porn. If you think it's so satisfying, why are all these people taking their own lives?
● Would you like to stay addicted until you find out that you can't get it up to your girlfriend or wife? A word for the married, would you like to stay hooked into it until you encounter sexual problems with your wife? Would you like to find out that your son has also been affected by it because you forgot to put your computer off one day?
● Read about sex trafficking stories of people kidnapped as children and abused by compulsive porn addicts for years. Do you want things to escalate until you reach such a degraded level?
If Chinese monks can go without sex for a lifetime, you can live without porn. We're not asking you to stop having sex. We're only asking you to free yourself from porn.
Porn has absorbed enough of your good energy so far, and now you ought to do something about it. There is no room for more procrastination. You must be aware that you can never get enough of porn, no matter how much you watch. Stop chasing a non-existent fantasy.
There is a reason behind that horrible feeling you get every time you ejaculate to porn. There is a reason why many people feel depressed about it. How long should you keep beating yourself up? Make your decision to get rid of the pain.
Many people have tried numerous methods and reported that most of them didn't work. Do you want to know why? It's because you're different, you're a winner, and you have decided to recognize that you need to put aside your greed for fantasy. You're great because you have figured out that there is everything to gain from quitting porn. You're more intelligent than the majority because you have seen the dark side and took action to do something about it, not because it's too late, but because you're a badass.
The next time you get a pang to open up a porn browser, take a breath of fresh air to think. Do not jump into action, and reflect on the pain and misery you'll feel after doing it. You need to picture that pathetic self and recreate the disgusting scene. That way, you'll abstain and say no. The more you say no, the more your willpower grows.
Freedom is worth the investment, and as humans, we treasure it above everything else in life, and that's why we were born free. No one came into this world with a leash on your neck or porn in front of your eyes. You were born free, and you need to see that it always stays that way.
Porn is nothing but pixels, a vermin, a bag of filth. Attribute to it all kinds of stinky expressions but never put it on such a pedestal like so many people do so mistakenly.
There is no such a thing as Oh, I hope to stop, but I can't. As previously disclosed, you have to have an indestructible belief in yourself that you can beat it and nothing else but that. You can't rely on hope if you are not willing to stop. It's like putting your hand in the fire and wondering why you've been burned. Settle for nothing other than your goal.
Stop looking at porn as if it was something that every other guy or girl does, it's not a good habit, nor it would provide you with the future of your dream. It is a disease, and you should treat it from that perspective.
Do not fear failure; it is entirely up to win or lose. If you have a loser mentality, you'll lose. But on the other hand, if you have the winning mindset, you'll settle for nothing but winning because losing isn't something you want. There's no reason to be scared of failure because failure is only a result of your choices. It doesn't happen accidentally. So what do you decide? Are you a winner or a loser?
Firstly, make up your mind whether you want to quit or not, and then decide. You can't have mixed-up feelings about it. Either you want to stop, or you don't. Whatever you decide, act accordingly but don't blame your concern on anything or anyone else.
It is essential to point out that even though the nofap challenge is 90 days, it should be mentioned that the time of clean streak itself isn't the most important. So if your goal is not to use porn for 90 days, you should not be surprised to find yourself so eager to watch porn on the 91 days. It's simply because your goal was not to stop watching porn forever, you've tried to be a smartass and trick your mind, but you can't fool your mind. You can't have two desires at the same time, in the same capacity that you can't love two women equally. Suppose your love for porn overshadows your desire to quit it; it would be safe to say that the side with the highest percentage wins.
The time away of porn in and of itself isn't necessarily required. What matters is to make up your mind to quit forever and not be limited to a specific period.
You can't trick your brain. The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself and pretend that you're doing something you want to do. You're only abusing yourself that way, do not fall prey to the false expectations of the impostor syndrome. Even though many people suffer from it nowadays, you can simply wash it off by being authentic. You don't need a psychiatrist for that. All you need to do is accept yourself as who you are and make progress.
Motivation for the dreaded withdrawal period
The withdrawal period is not difficult at all. Look at it as a period of self-discovery, patience, recovery, and sacrifice. As previously explained in the past chapters, porn is nothing significant to give up. Don't fall prey to the brainwashing of your own making. Start the new experience with positive expectations, and remember to especially not set your brain to fail. During the withdrawal period, incorporate various activities, from sports to drawing, and be very careful not to get overindulged in your exposition to cues that would attract you back to the starting point.
Negatively projecting into the future will only bring about what you fear most. Self-doubt is the worst doubt you can do at this stage. The goal from the 90 days nofap exercise is to help you exceed what you thought were your limitations. Your internal suggestions are only accurate if you believe and feel authentic. What we sometimes see as a reality is nothing but an interpretation based on our mind map, an illusion of our creative imagination. Your brain will always seek to protect you by keeping you in your comfort zone.
Growth occurs when you challenge your belief system and expand your mind with new positive ideas. With the right mindset, you'll be able to conquer any goal you want. To put it simply, during the withdrawal period, you are not allowed to use any pornographic content to masturbate. Call it a soul-cleansing period or some type of healing if you like.
It would help you tame your mind and bend it to your will. You will surely learn more about yourself during that period than any other period of your entire life. Saying no to yourself will surely take patience, discipline, practice, and many other qualities that you'll have time to sharpen even more. You'll undoubtedly have moments of unease, but even during those seemingly difficult moments, remind yourself that the suffering will come to pass if you keep going forward.
Many people fail to quit because they never resolved to leave porn in the first place. They were too greedy and high on lust to the point that they thought they were committing a sacrifice. If you don't want to get sorry, be definitive about your choice. You can deceive the entire world, but you can't fool yourself. Your mind knows what it desires and what it doesn't.
It is scientifically proven that porn impacts the reward circuitry part of the brain, but is it the same as running out of air? Someone that has been conditioned to view porn for a long time might experience some ill sensations of anxiety. Still, these are only minor effects that shouldn't frighten you. You should be prepared to be scratched, but always rationalise your emotions and shift the mood with an optimistic mental attitude. Your subconscious will follow you if you have an indisputable belief in your internal suggestions. Strengthen and add new favorable thoughts, and you'll see wonders.
The willpower approach alone doesn't work. You may want to lose weight, have a successful three months diet, and drop 60 pounds, but you might as well gain more than 60 pounds in less than three months after that. The reason for that is that the 60 lost pounds weren't a long-term goal. It wasn't absolute. Your objective was to lose pounds in 3 months, and you've accomplished that. On the other hand, you weren't determined to get the proper knowledge of maintaining your weight. That's why a lot of people keep going up and down in weight during their lifetime.
The above example illustrates that you need to have a particular unanimous goal. I must never use porn again. The nofap challenge in and of itself is not sufficient if you do it for sport, you should go in with a perspective to stop porn and not to go 90 days off only. The bottom line is that your change should be permanent.
Support your goal with a powerful unconquerable faith in your ability to make it. Picture yourself where you want to be before you get there. Make assertions that the only thing between you and your goal is time and effort as long you continue to live.
You can't have two simultaneous contradictory goals at once. You can either support one camp or the other, but you can't be neutral. It is the law that the stronger side wins, and in this case, if you allow your desire for porn to grow back again, it will surely make it harder for you to place your cards back in order again.
The tricky part about the withdrawal period is enticing a slight glimpse. The remedy for that is to exercise some thinking, reflect, get out of your home, second guess your emotions, desire, and goal, and ask yourself if this is what you want. Ask yourself again, do I really want to do this ? and for what ? is it worth it ?. The previous exercise will help shift your mind back into a relaxed state, allowing you to decide that best serves your welfare. The goal is to keep repeating the behavior to tame the mind to surrender and follow your commands only, even under outside influence.
Make sure that you persist in persisting until you've completely obliterated the porn virus from your system. You will ultimately reach a level where vulnerability to what you previously deemed the most seductive content is now repulsive and uninteresting. Fight any urge with reason until you have absolute confidence that porn has no effect on you anymore and that you didn't leave it because you forced yourself.
Porn will continue to exist on the net, but now that you've reached such a powerful state. It can't have an effect on you. In fact, you're now immune to seduction because you've come to apprehend that temptation is a natural human trait. You're now careful to indulge with your attractions. You've closed the devil's door. You're now far more interested in life. You now are considerably more invested than ever before. You now honor your body as a sacred temple.
Do not ever stay isolated because you weren't born that way anyway. I have incorporated this technique as part of my recovery program from porn-based depression, and it worked miraculously. You can't imagine how the world glowed in my eyes. I have started liking minor things, Such as waking up to the sunshine, being out on the beach, or smelling coffee before drinking it. Walking felt like a gift, every step was worthwhile, and life seemed impressive. In reality, anytime I was at home, I went out. I did something until there was no reason for me to stay home but to sleep in my bed, and I was cautious not to let the thought of porn cross my mind. I didn't permit it to be lengthier than 2 seconds and directly shattered the pattern.
I knew I was utterly free from its grasp when I became resistant to the effects of alluring ads that pushed me right into porn sites before. I understood I was free from my awful, despicable obsession when women started to seem attractive again as they once were when I was only 13. I started having flirtatious conversations with these women while enjoying myself in their company. I was wholly decentralised to the porn, and it was no longer my thing. Ladies felt like human beings again, not some kind of object to my twisted fantasies.
The videos that my friends used to try and lure me back didn't work until they gave up. Some even came to me for help, confessing their addiction as well.
I concluded that porn is no good; it carries no benefit. In the same way, a cigarette-free person looks at smoking as pointless. Porn to me was empty, and I have found it weird and surprising to have watched it all these years. Reading became a big part of my life, and it ultimately made me better. Remember that you can always pick a quiet place to go read it, and it fills you with so much satisfaction and peace, something that porn never gave me no matter how hard I pushed back in the day.
Change your mindset from loser to winner, and you'll find out that it's key to significant change. You need to have what some people describe as foolishness or arrogance. You'll know then that you're on the right path. Do you know why? That's because you've so far surpassed them that they can't come to recognize you anymore. Stay ahead of the curve, don't look back only to learn from the past to create a better future. A bee never explains to a bug that honey is better than poop.
At this stage, there is no fear from the withdrawal period. Nothing can entice you anymore because you have complete dominion over your ability to consider and decide. Porn fantasies no longer alter your will; you trust yourself completely. You have enough power to influence change, not only in yourself but in others as well, because you are a victor, a leader.
Can I sneak a peek after months of abstaining?
Relapsing back to porn could turn out to be your biggest downfall because it only demonstrates your hunger to consume porn again. It indicates that you are still not over it and long for it after all. You went to battle uncertain about what you desire, and the outcome is that you've missed old dirty porn and chose to sneak in again like the old days.
If you get any whispers, can I sneak a peek again? Examine your objective again and determine if you sincerely want to quit porn or are still down. You should know that it is impossible to have two contradictory goals simultaneously. It's just not feasible; you can't be on the moon and ground at the same time. It's the moment to pick a camp.
Look on platforms for the reports of many recovered individuals that successfully left and headed right back into addiction again, all because they weren't more honest to themselves. They believed that they could trick their mind.
Remember that the first time you've watched porn wasn't because you enjoyed it. It was out of what you thought sheer curiosity at the time; yes, it's that bit of sneak a peek that did all the damage in the first place. What you should learn by now is not to be sloppy.
Shaming porn users is what keeps them in it anyway.
There is a common characteristic between people these days: minimising and disgracing anyone under porn's seductive grasp. In contrast, the ones attempting the blackmailing are obsessive porn consumers or have been ex-addicts themselves.
What ought to be conducted instead is to show understanding and blessing to these individuals invariant if we never were a fan of porn in the first place.
Usually, individuals watch porn because they feel it's the thing to do. It's mainly the brainwashing and the anxiety of life without porn and predominantly shame that keeps people connected. I mean, for divinity's sake, why are we humiliating one another? What do we get from exposing each other's misdeeds? We need to understand that porn was designed to lure us because it's a natural human instinct to show interest in the topic of sex.
Pornography film producers are doing their best to convey the most luring content to entice more and more people to keep watching. By humiliating porn users, we only contribute to creating more addicts.
Why do heroin or cocaine addicts get better assistance and support? It's because they are addicted, correct? It's because we pity and sympathise with them, so why not do the identical thing with individuals labouring from porn's crappy authority over their minds. Let's show some support to addicts to overcome this hurdle.
Using a porn blocker is not enough.
Yes, you've read that right. Blocking access to porn is not enough. Because as long as temptation is lurking around, anyone can easily bypass the porn blocker to watch again. It benefits by mitigating the risk of stumbling upon pornographic content again. Nevertheless, it sometimes can have a damaging effect that contributes to awakening more hunger to explore.
Humans are exploratory by nature. That's the way we are built. It's the primary effect of human nature. To us, forbidden things are almost magical and are far more compelling and attractive.
Dictatorial Socialism will only make things worse and detract from the significance of consciousness and thoughtful decision-making. Lovemaking is a natural behavior and is in no way, shape, or form a disgraceful deed.
Parents should concentrate more on raising awareness of the negative consequences of regularly watching or masturbating to porn. They should be meticulous and deploy multiple communication strategies to inspire their children to feel safer and more relaxed regarding the subject.
We all know that fantastic vigilant parenting is necessary for a happier family with fewer problems. Parents should be more focused on accomplishing all the things needed to acquire their kids’ trust and invite them to talk about such a thing as porn.
With common understanding and open communication, we can convince porn consumers of the potential harm. Pointing out porn's detriment sole isn't enough to spook somebody out from watching porn or making it a day-to-day habit. What functions in the long term is quality education that provides people with wisdom to realise porn's unfavorable influence on the quality of one's life.
Most porn users wouldn't give it up because they don't find it inappropriate. Some argue that it is a pleasant affair, a treat they discretely permit themselves from period to period in the convenience of their closed-up bedrooms.
What should be promoted is far more enjoyable things to life than porn. Among them is intended real sex between an affectionate pair. There is no guilt or shame after sex between a wife and husband. Nevertheless, there is sorrow, regret, stress from orgasm to porn because it's simply not a divine or a proper deed. The sentiments one gets after ejaculation to porn are the body's manifestation of unease and misusage. It's a sign from your body to stop.