The 'Hao' Attitude by Neelam Birthare (Nicky BaBa) - HTML preview

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Chapter 3

Hao- the attitude of Courage

 

We had an induction program in our college for our juniors, every year seniors from all branches organize an orientation program for the newcomers. Belonging to the niche of management students most of my batch mates had a knack of managing things. The program was conducted successfully. It was a grand function; we all were so exhausted as if we want to rest on each other’s shoulder for the rest of our life but such a privilege was not available to us because we have to clean the auditorium for the next group of students within 2 hours.

When we started, majority of crowd was excited about the function but after the formal program and informal dance-party blast; only a few seniors accompanied by some juniors were left in the hall. It’s time to clean the left over filth and all of us were feeling tired and reluctant about it. Our class representative screamed loudly- C’mon guys! Let’s clean the stage! Make it fast!

I saw none but a fragile guy coming enthusiastically from the far corner of the hall. He was the only person who stood up first and took the initiative. As soon as my eyes stopped at him, they got stuck at him. He is the same physically challenged guy, struggling with arthritis since childhood whom I met last morning. I was amazed to see his will power and the inner strength. The way he came downstairs gave a feel as if he is a one man army who can clean the entire stage in a flash of second. An olive green attitude; carried by the soldiers of the great Indian army. They believe in service before self. His attitude was so liberal as if he is born to follow his heart. The guy is now placed in a multinational company, one of the ‘Big four’ firms of the world. The news of his placement was no surprise to me; the guy with that kind of attitude can crack any interview, face any challenge and cross any limit.

It requires a lot of guts to accept things as they are; whether it is a personal-life situation, professional predicaments, business scenarios or anything else. Most of the time; a majority of us live a life full of false perceptions. Illusions and delusions are of varied types, these false believes may arise out of fear of failure, fear of uncertainty, sense of insecurity, fear of loss, fear of society- when there is a conflict between your personal belief system and the societal norms. There can be n no of reasons which makes us more conscious and concerned as the intensity of our fears increases we become more anxious, demotivated, disoriented and depressed.

There was a young marketing executive in an office; he worked very hard. He was very competent, dedicatedly he completed all his targets and his dogged attitude towards his work at such a young age became a subject of awe in the organization. Now comes the villain of the story, his boss was a lady of dominant authoritative attitude. She believed in the old conventional ideas of micromanagement, she felt people are lazy by heart and you cannot expect 100% commitment unless you generate a sense of fear and insecurity amidst employs. This was ideally very different from what modern workplace culture calls as healthy competition.

With the passage of time; her interference began more and more. She started scaring the young employee using the name of big shots of the organization. There were no incidents of appreciation, every time he was warned to remain careful else he might have to suffer. As a result the young boy who was quite dedicated and enthusiastic at the beginning began to lose his interest in his work; his focus was forcefully diverted on those illusions which don’t even exist. In a nutshell his morale was down and a negative perception about the organization was formulated, finally one fine day he left. The boss was shocked because as per her she implemented the right strategy, the young guy was equally sad for he gave his best but the end result was a loss-loss situation. Many a times this happens in life were the end results are not as per the desire of any of the parties. We fail to understand the other side, we deny accepting the relative reality, or one may merely lack the courage to bear the consequences. 

In the entire case; what is the role of Hao. Can Hao be implemented in such a situation as well? Hao is a superman; that is how we introduced it but the Hao attitude cannot be implemented unless the person applying it is fully aware of which aspect of the same is to be implemented. The Hao attitude symbolizes an out of the box thinking. It involves different ways of dealing with different situation.

Another dimension of I don’t give it a damn attitude of the Hao philosophy is the hedonistic view towards life. Aristippus of Cyrene, a student of Socrates held the idea that pleasure is the highest good. Ethical hedonism holds the view that people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the maximum amount of pleasure possible to them. The definition of pleasure varies from person to person and so are its sources. Some of us derive pleasure from our work; others via family, another group of people accomplish it through friends and social circles, people follow their passion- they travel, learn, dance, sing, collect coins etc. Even twins born to the same parents have different tastes while one is an introvert the other is an extrovert thus what brings happiness in a person’s life is a subjective matter.

The Hao attitude is closely related to the positive aspects of ethical hedonism- do as you please, but without harming others.

Firstly we learned to ignore the irrelevant, now we are moving to the next stage of self-improvement i.e. learning to accept things as they are. Be it a truth or a lie, genuine or manipulated; Hao attitude talks about the courage to deal with the situation in its raw mode.

Had the young employee developed the attitude of ignoring the irrelevant, followed by practicing the attitude of accepting the situation as it is with courage, the end result would have been different. He was too conscious about the consequences. The thoughts about the end result lead to development of phobia.

In a typical Indorian context; when I use Hao for a particular situation, I mean- dude, I am not scared; let the things happen. I am smart enough to face the challenges when they come to me. I am not going to waste my present worrying about the future or contemplating on the past. The only thing that can be controlled is my present and I am doing so.

Maya Angelou quotes, “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

The second fundamental of the Hao philosophy talks about being a hippy at heart, which means you may not necessarily bind yourselves to a particular already established social customs, norms or scenarios. You are not restricted yourself; the horses of your mind are free to move in any direction. You choose to remain a liberal, logical mind that is open to experimenting things, based on your experiences and by using your own wisdom you define things for yourself as right and wrong. The Hao mentality doesn’t forces anybody to be a social conformist. Accepting a practice just because others are doing it is a technical crime against self-identity.

Every individual has his own life, his own management style, his personal experience and understanding of the world then choosing to be a blind follower is like disrespecting the core of life which God has gifted to us. The point is beyond stereotypical thinking there is a liberal world full of possibilities.

 In the words of George S. Patton – Do your duty as you see it, and damn the consequences. Life expects us to make bold moves; for everything cannot be achieved from a safe harbor. A person who denies following his heart will definitely end up with having a heart full of remorse and regret at the end. It is easily said than done but once we learn to develop the Hao- attitude of courage towards life we learn to enjoy every challenge as the Hao attitude has already transformed our perception, we look at it as a new opportunity. The attitude of courage relates closely with the motto of U.S. Navy seals- “the only easy day was yesterday.”

Please don’t assume that all the citizens of Indore are as trained and learned as the talented forces of U.S. Navy or the Indian Army. People here are very down to earth, they are as ordinary as you and me; struggling with needs and demands of daily life but some of us are equipped enough to use the attitude of courage, the ability to follow heart without fear in a subconscious manner. If you find someone standing in the city bus, holding the pole since last 45 minutes; balancing himself amidst those push and pull of laws of motion while his journey. In spite of all that inertia he still holds a beautiful smile on his face, focusing on the soothing music coming from his headphones- well; then you have caught the right man, the guy with a Hao attitude towards the daily hassles, the courage to face everything with elegance and simplicity.

The Hao principle of courage is nothing more than boosting your self-confidence. Trust is the most valuable gift which we can give not only to others but to our individuality too. The people who dare to trust themselves carry the right problem solving attitude required to face any challenge.

The General Manager of one of the finest HR service provider consultancy of the world (name not disclosed) in our city is a marvelous lady. She seems like an artist, her understanding of the psyche of the people is so shrewd that she has mastered the art of dealing with different categories of people in the most competent and pleasing way. She carries her own charm, the employs who work under her says she is a true leader responsible for the team-spirit which they possess. When I first met her, my perspective about her was this lady lacks nothing in life. She is a beauty with intellect, money, power and a great social presence. When we started spending time with each other I realized the grass is not that green. She has faced and still facing so much of turmoil in her personal life. After all it is still not easy to survive as a single parent in India. Divorce in our society is a big deal but the best part about this charming lady is she never let the dilemmas of her personal life appear on her face. I have not seen any regret, sadness in her. She was as enthusiastic as a teenager ready to fly high and win the world.

Once she told me I love the idea of Rhonda Byrne- the Secrets: Ask-Believe- Receive. One has to stay strong in order to grow. Self confidence is the key to success. Darwin’s principle of survival of the fittest is applicable on humans too. You cannot win a battle without struggling hard for it.  We are Indoriee ; Hao attitude toh rakhna hi padega. Life is not a fairy-tale my dear. (Being Indoriee, you have to keep that hao attitude)

The hao- attitude is about being olive green at heart, being bold, being strong, and being you. Respect your individuality as if you are a warrior of your life. The best part about the people with high self -esteem is they not only respect themselves but have great reverence for others too, they don’t believe in disrespecting or undervaluing others.  They are busy building themselves. If you find someone living with a superiority complex; taunting others, criticizing the world and nagging all the time, pity them, have sympathy for them. The person is emotionally challenged; the root cause of superiority complex is somewhere hidden in the sense of inferiority hidden within my personality. Truth is I am struggling everyday within myself and my inner insecurity is forcing me to find flaws and negatives in others. The next time you meet such a person who underestimates you; donate a hao attitude by your love, smile and inner peace. :)

 To conclude the second applied aspect of hao-logy, here is a wonderful quote written by William Faulkner- “You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”