I
met a man who just had a divorce; I will call him Martin (Real name withheld). He was looking so dirty and had a bad body odor. He told me how faithful he was to his wife and how committed to the marriage he had always been, but couldn't figure out why his wife started having sex with someone else at her job and was hardly interested in him anymore. It all started about 6 months before the marriage ended. She met this guy at her job who was always well dressed, looked good and wore a very sweet cologne. This was not even about the money here because Martin was even making more money than the guy at her job. Sadly, she started spending more time with this new guy, and it happened. When she was asked why she slept with the guy at her job, she said she was no longer attracted to Martin anymore, that he didn't take care of himself enough. She tried to make him change, but it didn’t yield any results. From my own observation of Martin, I was not also impressed because it was clear that he didn’t take care of himself. He claimed that he had always been the same person since he got married to her, and she had no reason to think otherwise of him. Couples these days say their spouses no longer care about their appearance. So sad, because these things are destroying marriages every day.
Hygiene is a very important factor that many people have neglected in their marriages. Many homes have been destroyed and many divorces have occurred, just because of hygiene. Think about this, what attracted you to your partner the first time? I know that body parts, complexion, voice, smile, and so many other sweet things attracted you the first time. Imagine if he or she was stinking, dirty, and had a bad breath the first time you met. You would not be attracted to him/her, would you? Or he/she came visiting you with dirty clothes, stinky breath, and body odor, would you be attracted to such a person? Can you remember your first date with your spouse? I'm sure you were both in your cleanest clothes, had a nice breath and smelling good. What happened to those things? Couples these days are complaining about their spouses, saying they no longer care about their appearance. This, in turn, has reduced the sex drive. They no longer feel attracted to their partners because of bad hygiene. Good hygiene is a greater sex drive, and you would want to have sex more often.
Many people have a habit of becoming very relaxed after marriage. They just forget about those things they did when they started dating and just allow themselves to be so relaxed when it comes to hygiene. Couples need to consciously try to keep themselves clean at all times because a bad hygiene is a sex drive killer. I knew a lady who only cleaned up her apartment when she had a male visitor coming over. She was so dirty and disorganized; her apartment was like a junkyard. But it was different whenever she was going to have a male visitor. She would clean everywhere as much as possible and even have on some sweet air fresheners and wear a nice perfume. Why did she do that? Why didn't she leave the apartment like the junkyard that it was, and stay dirty? She did it because she knew what was right. She knew she needed to keep the apartment clean and had to smell nice also to attract the man to her. Stay clean for your spouse, and he/she will always want to come back for more sex. A dirty environment or a dirty partner is a sex drive killer.
Cleanliness is not the cake itself but icing on the cake. Statistics show that a clean and nice smelling man or woman will increase attraction by 30%. So the good smell and cleanliness get you almost half way in. This is something married couples have to work on today consciously. Stay clean, smell good for your spouse and watch how that sexual attraction will increase. We have gotten so used to our spouses that we don't even care about hygiene anymore. You don't need to spend so much money trying to achieve this or break the bank, just do it moderately according to what you can afford. Just because you have been at home all day doesn't mean you shouldn't clean up and look good for your man or your woman. This will definitely increase the drive and attraction towards your spouse.
Another thing that is necessary is our underwear. We have to keep that clean at all times. Stop wearing torn and rugged looking underwear; it is a sex killer. Many couples don't even care if they wear torn and tattered looking underwear. They have gotten so used to themselves, that it is not a concern anymore. Long ago, before I got married and before I started having a relationship with Jesus, I met a very beautiful girl. She was just my type of girl and had all the qualities that I wanted in a girl. One thing led to another one night, and I started undressing her. Honestly, I was disappointed when I got to see what she was wearing underneath. It was so dirty, tattered and torn. She had really nice clothes on the outside but never took care of the inside. Anyway, I don't intend to tell you how it all ended but it really killed my drive for her, and I lost total interest in her. Why would I just lose interest in a lady because of her underwear? I thought I had a problem, so I quietly started a little survey on what other men/women would think or feel if they saw something like that. To my surprise, every one of them said it was a sex killer. Yes, a sex killer!!! My advice for couples is to stay clean and change underwear when they get old. Variety is also good if you can afford it. If you can change the colors and types at least once in 6 months, the better for you. Please note that this applies to both men and women. We all need to be at our best at all times.
All the points listed in this chapter might seem like nothing to some people, but it is very important. Smell, dirt, and disorganization is a turn off to most people. No wonder you are attracted to that sweet smelling and clean looking man/woman. In my opinion, I would say that it accounts for 30% of what makes a marriage work. Just do these things and watch how things start changing gradually in your marriage.