1. Why Did You Choose This Lifestyle
Well for me it wasn’t something that I originally planned to do, don’t get me wrong I love being part of such a big family, I love having six mothers who care for me, I love having so many brothers and sisters to turn to in times of need and who have supported me through all my highs and lows.
But as I grew into a man and started reflecting on my father’s choices I felt that he was incredibly selfish I couldn’t understand how he could say that he loved all his wives equally? It just didn’t seem logical to me.
And as a child I felt incredibly angry anytime he’d have to spend time with his other wives and their children. So I was determined to never enter into something similar to it.
And I probably wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for Roxanne and the feelings I had for her and that’s the reason why I entered a polygamous marriage.
The reason why I chose to stay with him and to support his decision to include Roxanne into our life is simple it’s because I love him and the person he’d chosen to be part of our family was someone I knew and liked.
I’ll repeat what I said to him on the day I gave him permission to court her, “you’ve never made a decision yet which has hurt our family and I doubt that you are about to start now.”
Then he makes a U-turn and starts saying that he made a mistake and it really pissed me off so I decided to help him by giving him that nudge he needed.
When I first saw John I was attracted to him he is after all the type of guy I would go for but I didn’t really think anything of it. When our friendship began I felt something change in me and I started to look at him with an eye which was less than friendship.
But he was a married man and I wasn’t willing to go there, I’m no home wrecker nor am I an adulteress so I tried to push my feelings to one side. I went out on dates with other men but the feelings still remained.
Then one day he comes up to me and tells me that he has an interest in me and would like to see where it goes. I refused of course because he was married and married to a woman I’d grown close to. But then when she came to see me I knew that I wasn’t making a mistake by acting on my feelings.
The decision was quite easy for me I grew up in a polygamous family and from an early age I knew that I wanted to be a Sister Wife. I always knew that I wanted to be part of the Phillips family but the thing which was unclear for me was through whom.
The answer came later. John had left the family home when he was seventeen and I was eleven and he returned when he was thirty two and I was twenty six. I can tell you that when I told my parents I was getting married their joy greatly outweighed mine as they’d given up on me and they thought that I was going to grow old alone.
But when I ran into him that day he came home to introduce his new wife I knew that this was the family I was meant for. You have to understand for me it wasn’t just about the man but the family he came with.
For me the day I married John was the day that my transformation came to an end. On the day I met him I became believer of love at first sight. He was walking around with Diana (I didn’t know they were married at the time I thought they were dating) and I thought that she was incredibly lucky to have a man like him and it wasn’t his looks that made him attractive to me it was his actions as a recent divorcee who came from a less than perfect marriage seeing a man open a door or pull out a seat to me was the greatest romantic gesture a man could make and I just followed them around like a lovesick puppy until they met up with Roxi and Lina and they caught me staring at them and invited me to join them.
When he introduced them to me as his wives I was shocked and part of me was disgusted but I sat with them and as we chatted I realized that I had judged them erroneously. Unlike his marriages with his other wives where he knew the second he saw them that they were destined to be together with me it was I who knew that we were meant to be together and he who had to discover it.
Our courtship was the longest of all the four marriages because we both had to be sure but I’m glad because it gave me time as well to ensure that I was making the right decision for me and my children.
At this point in time I’d like to clarify that I knew the second I saw her that she was meant to be part of our family which was why I felt so free and at ease around her otherwise I wouldn’t have introduced Roxanne and Caroline as my wives. The thing that made me err on the side of caution with Jennifer is that the instant she realized that I was a polygamous her face told the tale and even when she showed signs of being interested I felt like a giant but because of her initially reaction and the children she had with her ex-husband I had to take things slowly.