Diana
What is the Role of a Woman to You?
For me being a woman meant different things to me at the various stages of my life.
When I was a child womanhood seemed like the ultimate Holy Grail because everything you tried to do you were told not until your older so that was what a woman was supposed to be someone with unlimited power, someone who could be what they want when they want.
In my teens womanhood was something I dreaded because now whenever I disagreed with my mother she’d say “wait until you’re older than you’ll see.” And it was a threat so I was afraid of growing up and besides all that it meant getting old you know when you’re sixteen twenty looks really old.
In my twenties I was sort of finding myself and had just started teaching so I was very relaxed and just kind of enjoying myself.
In my mid-twenties my sister got married and a lot of people were sort of looking at me like when are you taking that step but I still felt like I had a lot to do before I settled down and that all changed when I met John and I don’t think either of us expected it to happen so soon but it did and I was happy.
As a married woman the only thing I thought about was just enjoying my husband and just enjoying being with him and I know he was thinking about us having children but I just wanted us to have more us time.
So we struck a bargain I wouldn’t use contraceptive and he wouldn’t try too hard to get me pregnant two years passed and he was getting worried when we discovered that I was pregnant. When I was pregnant I won’t lie I resented my baby because John’s attention was focused solely on him and he was neglecting me. But then the first time he kicked.
Oh what an incredible feeling that day my heart just busted with love and I began to understand what John was so obsessed with and the reason why he wanted us to have kids became clear when Moses was born and I held him in my arms. He was just so beautiful and as I looked at him I knew what my purpose was to look after this little angel.
Do you enjoy being a Sister Wife?
When John and I started hanging out with Roxanne it was kind of odd but I thought that maybe it was because she was the nurse who’d helped deliver our son and as time went by I grew to like and admire her but that all changed when he told me of his feelings for her I was angry and hurt and after I walked out on him I went to confront her.
She was as confused as I was by John’s sudden declaration of his feelings for her and I returned to my parent’s home a month passed and I realized that my home was with him and I returned to him.
He was a mess and the second he saw me he promised me that he’d cut all ties with her because no matter what he felt for her he wasn’t willing to lose our family over it.
A month or so passed and he just seemed to get more miserable but as promised he didn’t raise the issue of Roxanne again. So I went in search of advice from my mother-in-law, his mother, and she told me that it was completely up to me and if I believed that he would get over his feelings for her than I should stick to my guns but if I didn’t then maybe I should give it a chance.
So I sought Roxanne and we had a lot to talk about but eventually I began to understand why he would want this wonderful woman to join our family so I spoke to John and gave him my permission to begin courting Roxanne.
The thing I’ve always appreciated about John is his honesty and the fact that you can always count on him. So during their courtship I was never worried about him doing anything with Roxanne that would jeopardize what we had.
In my late twenties I faced a challenge that I wasn’t ready for even though I’d prepared myself for it being a Sister Wife.
It’s one thing to share toys with your siblings, makeup with your friends and work with your colleagues and another thing completely to share your husband.
But we adapted well to the situation it was a first for all of us and John who was supposed to be the know it all on the situation was completely useless.
So we muddled along but it was still hard we each had three nights with him and on Sundays as he does to this day he slept alone. But it was hard for me because we all shared one house and I knew what we did as newlyweds so.
The next phase of my life was being a mother to Roxanne’s children and that surprisingly enough was easier than it had been for me to be a Sister Wife because it just came naturally for me the urge to wanna look after the girls because when I looked at them all I saw was John.
When we went to visit his parents to show off our three little girls he saw Lina and he knows we were both angry because to me it seemed like he was starting a pattern and to Roxanne it seemed as if he really didn’t consider her that special.
But before he even began his courtship he introduced her to us and their courtship period was almost like our courtship period because she is so sweet.
Lina is like John described her she is like a sun she draws you to her because she is so warm and before he even made his move Roxanne and I had already asked her to join the family.
With Jen it was difficult for me because of her past as I’ve said before because we’ve learnt not to question his decisions and it’s not because we are so submissive that we just go along with everything he says but because we’ve learnt to trust his calls. I mean his usually right eight times out of ten as he was with Jen.
The one thing I love about being a Sister Wife is the support I get from the others.
For example after we had Moses it was really great having Roxanne in the picture because I knew that I was leaving him with someone I could trust and who loved him as her own.
When Roxanne was pregnant with Sarah and Penelope, I had just given birth to Jessica and when I went back to work she was on maternity leave so I enjoyed that. When Lina joined us it was like a weight lifted off our shoulders because she was there to look after them if all three of hours were working late.
With Jen she’s always trying she’s been with us for nine years but she’s always doing little things to try and fit which is completely unnecessary but we won’t complain.
It’s like living with my sisters when I’m sick they look after me, after my kids and after my husband.
When I need a shoulder to cry on they’re the.
When I wanna bitch and moan about John they join in because nobody knows him better so yes I love being a Sister Wife.
What about jealousy?
Do I get jealous of the time he spends with the other’s yes I do but then again I feel anger and jealousy towards anything or anyone that I feel is taking his attention away from me.
The reason why it’s so easy for us to live in harmony is:
When his with you, you are the center of his world so it’s hard to feel jealous unless you allow your mind to go there. I don’t want to know what he does when his with the others that’s their time the only thing that matters to me is what he does when his with me.
What happens if he dies?
John always says that if he was to die what would happen to us? I like to think that we’d still be a part of each other’s lives maybe not as Sister Wives but more as Sisters because we have so much connecting us. Our husband, our children and most importantly our friendship because like I always tell people the four of us we are individuals in our own rights. It’s just that in this case we happen to be four individuals who happen to share our lives with the same person.
We had lives before we met John, we have lives of our own apart from him and after he passes if we’re still alive than we’ll still be alive and living sure not the life we have now but a life nonetheless.
What if he was to take a fifth?
Would I stay if he found a fifth? I highly doubt that he’ll marry for a fifth time because we are all happy with the situation as it is we’ve been married to each for a long time and we know each other so to rock the boat now wouldn’t do, but if he was to come in the house one day and tell me that he’d found a fifth then Roxanne would become the first wife because I’d leave him.
And it wouldn’t be because I suddenly doubt the man I’ve married but because that would mean even less time with him and I’m not willing to give that up.