The year of 2008 somehow had brought news from hell and my sin. Had my sin gone too far O God? Were you angry at me?
A stern warning to me! Do not let myself fell again. I am not dead yet, get up lady!
I confessed that I had debt in this world, with the company I worked for in my early years of life. The unfinished business sometimes had haunted me to get the peace I wanted.
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The corruption happened way back when I was a smart, quick but short-sighted chic. This was related to some bids for the work I delivered. My heart sometimes felt the guilt from the wrongdoings I did. Because I was constantly thinking about that, I had a dream
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I was chased by the police and I was caught. All felt quite real there though only in my dream, I can not ran away from the sin and guilt accumulated in this world. I received my punishment from the unseen world of Ālam al-Ghayb.
I was thrown into the jail. In the prison, I looked at the prisoners’ cells. Each cell received different sort of punishment.
The cell next to me were tortured like his legs and hands were chained and shackled, he was asked to eat with his tongue. The other cells I saw they were punching their thighs until became hollowed and bleeded.
Then, my name was called.
I was taken to the room like an operating room. I was laid on a bed there and I heard a doctor said that my brain will be poisoned and my eyes will be lasered until blind.
Masya Allah my God. Is it true, the kind of torture I will receive? My eyes will be blinded and my brain will be poisoned?
They anesthetized me until I lost my consciousness. When I woke up, I was still in the hospital, I saw those tools and wires still on my body. Then the doctor came, told me that my eyes had been replaced new and my brain had recovered.
I woke up from my dream.
O God what was the sin I did until you caught me and punished me this way?
What was behind a new pair of vision and a new brain will do for me?
Subhanallah. Allah the most Gracious.
He knows best what these implied to me.
A few years later, I found the gracious of God had turned me to become sharper in the way I see and I think.
Thank you God for cleasing me and accepting my repentance. Allow me to be ‘someone’ new, to walk the path of ma’rifatullah.
Amen.
