What are the weights of our sins? Can our sins be taken away by repentance? Are our prayers for forgiveness would be suffice to cleanse our sins?
I thought if I had the repentance prayers for 40 days and 40 nights (I did this before) and shed tears, I would be forgiven.
But guessed what? It had shown in my dream that the prayers were not suffice without ‘sacrifice’.
Maybe this vision only implied to me but not to you and God knows best.
People were different in terms of the level of knowledge. It is not a public statement I could tell, as if we were all the same.
It has been two months since my dream with Moses.
The dream I received in January 2014, was sort of like a follow up call to the answer that I seek.
It was so privacy that I could not write them here.
The year 2014, had opened up a new page for me.
The TEST that I was going through for more than 6 months now had showed some meanings to all these.
Did you remember when I confessed my mistake in front of Moses, I was awakened from my sleep in the middle of talking to Him. I was not sure what my mistakes were and which one.
This dream that I had, however told me about the mistakes and why I had to endure the TEST.
Then I had been enlightened soon after received the message. Alhamdulillah Syukran.
The meaning and the value of purification of our soul cannot be measured by hundreds of dollar. It was indeed invaluable.
God tested me to see if I had the anger, the resentment, the genorisity, the sincerity, the kindness and the loves for poor and people around me.
Observed your daily life!
Even if my tongue did not complaint, I still shed tears for the hardships I must endured. To detach the emotions from my body and mind, to find the key to inner peace and to move on with life to my next journey was not so easy to learn.
The debt as the guarantor was not my fault. The fact I had been careful with my own debts, It felt like a persecution for me. But after been enlightened by the dream, the burden were swept away and the memory of suffering wiped and gone.
Subhanallah, All praise to Allah, the Most Gracious.
My meeting with Moses, was for ‘reckoning’ and ‘purification’. Sacrifice of the ‘money’, indeed to purify my soul.!!
My script was written in such a way for me to endure the hardship and to embrace the ‘zuhud’ (lived in poor for a while) in this life.
Masya allah.
Imagined the sins of those criminals, killer, slanderer, rapist, cheater, pretender?
What value of money to remove their sins?
The wealth enough to pay for their sins?
What happen if they had nothing, O God?
What will you take from them in return?
I became frightened to think the truth of this vision. I cannot deny the message that revealed my weaknesses and I cannot uphold only the good news about me.
The sacrifice that I had to do to purify my soul, had nothing to do with the Borrower, in the eyes of God, they were just scripts written for me to walk the earth.
My tears dropped… .thinking how angels could played such characters in my dreams just to reach this message to me.
… because God loved me so much, I surrendered to His Judgement.
The burden disappeared in the blink of an eye after receiving this dream. I no longer remembered about it. Allahu Akbar, God the Greatest!
"You must be tested with your wealth and yourself and you must have heard many hurtful things from those who were given the book and from the polytheists. If you are patient and pious, indeed that is included in the matters that are prioritized " - Al Imran
"Then Allah guides the believers about what they differ with the truth by the permission of Allah He guides whom He wills" - Al Baqarah
Nothing else more important other than being purified by the Glory of God for the benefits of the hereafter.
I also encountered another dream following the event.
I saw a big rat in my house. While I was washing a long piece of red cloth with soap and the cloth stretched out on the floor, this rat came and rolled on the wet cloth. It was like washing its feathers on my red cloth.
Then the rat was turned into a human and he stood in front of me. I was shockingly surprised to see that the rat had literally became a human. He thanked me because I had turned him into a human being and he would served me sincerely.
After I woke up, I thought maybe the Djinn (genie) in my house had became a human and wanted to be my servant. Sigh.
Then I took a closer look at this dream, the meaning was something else.
The animal instinct (the rat) in me has been purified by my own sacrifice (symbol of the red cloth). The ‘humanity’ was fully embodied in me and my soul should shine without any slight of animalism.
O God, make it right, and allow my soul to be free from the faulty of animalism.
This dream really gave me a deep understanding of everything that has had been going on in my life.
If I did not witness God, I will not be His servant.
After I had been dignified as a servant of God, I must endured the suffering and sacrificed my life to pass His tests. I must acknowledged my faith in Him.
To achieve this path, I must have the Humanity.
Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah. The majesty of God.
I truly understood these messages and I will survive the challenges with God’s blessings.
“You will not get goodness before you invested some of the property you loved. And whatever you donated them (infakkan), about it, God knows best " - Al Imran
O Allah, give me the purity of soul and let it remain in me until the day I died.