I’m so slow. So all this time I'm thinking that HE's saying that it’s castrated (meaning the devil is castrated). No. HE's telling me to think that he’s castrated so when he’s bothering me with his perversion if I think he has no penis, then he doesn’t. It works!
The bastard says he has hands. That's ok. There’s the thing about forced penile penetration that is traumatic…thank you God!
God always tells me HE's with me. More than any other time right now while I'm going through this “whatever”, I have never felt this paid attention to or watched. I literally feel eyes on me.
My thoughts are different. Now I'm chasing the devil naked {since that's how he always portrays me) but now with large spikes all over my body...I’m bloody.
He’s trying to make me feel like I put God second to Jesus.
Sometimes he yells at me, “You're not supposed to associate!”
So to the sexual stuff, it’s now oral after the castration. So the question I ask - because he's so DISGUSTING - is why would I do anything sexual with him? I can find any strange man walking down the street who’ll willingly screw me, in a bar, at the park. Why would I defile myself with this muthasucka? I could go outside and find two men to work me over and still fare better at Judgment. On top of that, this sucka is disgusting. I resent that he has situated himself in my life.
But mostly, I miss my personal time.
You never realize how much you enjoy a thing until it’s gone. Calgon take me away to Personal Time Land without this weird muthasucka.