I trust you are convinced ‘fear’ is not a friend but an implacable enemy and are now determined to destroy its hold on your life. For without this ‘will to win’—the spirit of the warrior—you don’t have what it takes to fight on to lasting victory. But to further motivate and convince you to rout this foe, I want now to look at the damage it does; not all of it observable, for like a mole, ‘fear’ buries deep into the psyche to devastate underground.
FEAR CONTROLS
How ‘fear’ controls our physiology is well-known; it either makes us run from danger (flight) or do the opposite, stay and fight. Then again, it can immobilize and make us freeze. But few realize how, in a ‘fifth column’ work, ‘fear’ sabotages the wellsprings within to control thoughts and emotions. By accessing these ‘command and control’ centers it can sentence victims to a life of chronic dysfunctional behavior, leaving some with seriously impaired social skills. But the most significant outcome of this sabotage is to steal our courage, the inner fortitude fueling the resolve to face life's challenges. But especially critical to fighting on past the inevitable defeats, even ones with formidable odds; without courage, any attempts to do this are usually weak and short-lived. When her city was under threat, Rahab testified to this debilitation, saying; ‘ And as soon as we heard these things, our heart melted; neither did there remain any more courage in anyone’ (Josh 2.11).
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Courage makes it possible to withstand bullies or those wanting to exert excessive control. (You surely realize passivity and timidity allow bullies even greater freedom to manipulate and dominate.) How, then, do you react in those and similar situations testing ‘your mettle? Do you have the courage to stop them, and can you insist on your rights when a ‘rip-off merchant’ tries to defraud? What about the freedom to state an opinion vigorously and honestly in an argument? If you mostly
‘wimp out’ in these situations, ‘fear’ has robbed you of the courage to stand up for what is right and just.
But ‘fear’ does more, it stirs up strong emotions, not the least being anger. A well-recognized connection, and most unhelpful (not sinful) when it makes us reactionary, short-tempered, cantankerous, or just irritable; outcomes adversely affecting the ability to relate to others. Anger can even make us snub and reject others, seemingly for no reason. But the antagonism is a defensive posture (stemming from fear) to scare off perceived rejection. Again, most unhelpful especially when the relationship is broken or in lessening the anxiety about remedying the breach.
Rather than using appropriate chastisement when my children misbehaved as toddlers in public, I would overreact.
That is until I realized their unruly behavior was seen as a threat to my standing as a pastor in the community. It was fear of
‘losing face’ in the public eye! How do you react when your self-esteem or reputation is threatened? Next time you are upset or ‘agro’, see if the real culprit isn't ‘fear’. What you discover may surprise.
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FEAR DEBILITATES
‘Fear’ not only stirs up emotions, it can steal them. When we should feel joy, compassion, or excitement, we often can’t because ‘fear’ has taken control. Think of the times the joy you expected in meeting someone or performing in public or perhaps starting a new venture was not there; you felt emotionally flat, nothing like excited or happy. The culprit was underlying apprehension, a dynamic we often fail to recognize. Not only does it steal feelings, ‘fear’ exhausts the emotional reserves, sufficiently draining them, for example, so we need to lie down and rest after a social gathering or a stressful interview with an authority figure. The emotional reservoir we all have only has a limited capacity—whether large or small—and ‘fear’ can quickly use up these reserves to the point of physical exhaustion, especially if it adds to an existing ‘emotional mix’ of anger, resentment, or depression.
But the collateral damage from ‘fear’ doesn’t stop there.
Even if it is only mild anxiety—about the future, finances, or a host of other concerns—it commonly affects physical health adversely. Because of worry, many see their health compromised—their immune system if nothing else—from sleep deprivation (or at least sound sleep). If not that, it is the loss of appetite, and not just for food, but for leisure, recreation, etc.—activities building resistance to infection. Incidentally, just managing the aftermath of stressful events like losing a loved one, a major change in circumstances, or a pressured work environment can introduce severe anxiety.
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The syndrome of ‘burnout’ is also on the increase, leaving many physically, emotionally, and mentally debilitated. Now, most will explain this is due to the victim's excessive workload, but this is not the cause, it is an outcome; the root of it is usually located in their fear of failure, rejection, or humiliation. The inordinate workload is from trying to compensate for the ‘fear’.
Incidentally, ‘burn out’ is not some mild malady to be ignored, for besides undermining the ability to function, it greatly increases the vulnerability to spiritual attacks. Much of the mental and physical breakdown is from supernatural interference by evil forces.
The adverse outcomes from fear still don’t stop there. More than a few medical conditions have ‘fear’ (anxiety, tension, worry, etc.) as a direct causative factor. In the main, the psychosomatic conditions such as asthma, eczema, intestinal disorders, and high blood pressure (to name a few). You may not have these but suffer from tension (an indicator of fear), most often manifested in severe headaches or migraines. I once found myself becoming more tense with each passing day in trying to cope with the extra workload when working in a pharmacy short of staff. One day, it became so bad, I almost screamed, and I mean out loud. It was also about then I had to visit a specialist for a highly disturbed gut—the two were obviously connected. Yes, other factors can cause these ailments but never discount ‘fear’ as the real culprit. Incidentally, stomach ulcers, colitis, or other internal complaints, have a redeeming feature; like the oil gauge red light on a car's dashboard, they may be the only way you know ‘fear’ is gnawing at your insides.
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FEAR WARPS
If nothing else, ‘fear’ warps the personality. Sometimes severely if it gets enough control of mental and emotional functioning. It can even be a problem for some to know who they really are. Long-time sufferers may never know their true personality, only a caricature of it. The personality I had for the first twenty years of my life, was not the real me. I only discovered my ‘true self’ after becoming a Christian and getting free from the ‘fear’ plaguing. The shy and, melancholic personality I had projected for so many years was replaced with a far more extroverted and optimistic persona. Fear had stolen my real self.
This malformation of the personality is often due in part to the mechanisms employed to cope with ‘fear’. The odd behaviors and attitudes—shyness, aggression, obsessiveness, or all the above— adopted to bolster our defense against further hurt, failure, and disappointment. But any dysfunction and false persona such as this only aggravates existing fear of rejection and hurt. Then again, in seeking to compensate for the fear of rejection, the outcome may be ‘performance orientation’, the syndrome driving someone to meet unrealistic standards. Either outperform in academia, employment, sport, or some other endeavor and taken on to preserve self-worth and have others accept us. But decidedly unhelpful when we become the dreaded
‘perfectionist’ obsessively strict about everything—including what is not important. Especially when it puts great strain on relationships as others are expected to also perform to the same standards. The ‘perfectionist’ is the one who morphs into a tyrant boss, a demanding spouse, or an uptight employee 36
frustrating all with their procrastination. No wonder everyone ends up with depleted physical, emotional, and spiritual reserves.
‘Fear’ can even deform the personality to the point of eccentricity, possibly even bizarre behavior. It certainly can make someone antisocial enough to isolate themselves in a prison of their own making, and in the extreme, create a hermit or oddball who turns their house into a fortified castle with a fierce dog protecting privacy. Now, such overly eccentric behavior might not apply, but you do have an ultra-cautious approach to life, a level of timidity that avoids all adventure, risk, and the unknown. Rather than face life’s challenges with bravado, you ‘play it safe’, even employing dubious strategies, some possibly fed by paranoia.
One eccentric outcome of ‘fear’ is hoarding. Harmless when done out of a frugal mentality or from sentimentality (too attached to what they own), but it can easily become extreme with strong ‘fear’ fueling the hoarding. I once helped clear the property of a psychotic hoarder; out of fear of future shortages, he had filled the house and grounds of the property with so many items it took more than a month after his death to clear it of what was mostly junk. To burn what could be burnt and cart the rest away in numerous dump bins to the tip. He had hoarded so much in the attic, the load cracked the solid brick wall of one gable end of the house.
Last, but not least, ‘fear’ can make someone a ‘control freak’, the dreaded species afraid of not coping if they lose 37
control of situations or people. They are the ‘bullies’ who use manipulation or domination to take command of every situation—even when not in a supervisory role—and often exerted in a sufficiently dysfunctional way that colleagues loath to cooperate or condone the stifling control begin also to act oddly. To see relationships come under immense strain from everyone struggling to handle the awkwardness should surprise no one.
AN ASSESSMENT
If asked to describe the severe ‘fear’ I endured (mostly as a teenager), what comes to mind is the biblical assertion of ‘ fear has torment’ (1Jhn 4.18). It was a hard taskmaster, tormenting me mercilessly, a foe robbing me of peace, faith, and joy (to name a few); certainly not any friend I welcomed. And a poor substitute for the prudence protecting me from reckless actions; it either made me too reactionary or I was immobilized from doing what needed to be done. So, my plea is, don’t allow this thief to rob you of God’s best for your life—here and in the hereafter. If not dealt with, it could even steal your eternal destiny. Treat it as the enemy it is; rise up and make it your mission to beat it once and for all.
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