5. STANDING IN THE GAP
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph
To: Jenny
Sent: Sunday, April 19 7:58 PM
Jenny,
I always enjoy talking to you. I thank God that I have the time when I get the time. Hang in there. Love yourself. You may have done things that you are not proud of, but you are not a bad person. Dislike the things you did, not yourself. You deserve to be loved by others, but you have to love yourself first. Remember your affirmations. Keep saying them. Say them in the morning and before you go to bed. You're worth it, Jenny. I know you are.
When I experienced my most challenging time, first, I got really desperate. Then I decided to stand still. I stood still so I could hear the voice of God. I told myself that the next moves I made had to be directed by God. I knew I was going to make some big changes but did not know exactly what they were going to be, but I knew that I needed God to lead me. I needed Him to tell me what to do. I prayed for direction and guidance. I prayed for strength and deliverance. I drew closer to God and got more peace in my life. I am confident that I am where I am today because of God's direction and guidance. Because I humbled myself and sought Him rather than trying to figure it out myself.
Remember this, I know this from experience - when you are involved in risky behavior, you do not think about what is good for you. You just do whatever it is. You act and think later. You are not rational. Afterward, you usually thank God for His mercy and grace because anything could have happened.
Well, when we are in our right mind, we are not involved in risky behavior. Although we are tempted, we think before we act. We count the cost. If the cost is too high, we move on. Don't be risky. Count the cost. Where do you want to be 2 - 3 years from now? What will you need to do to get there? Who will you need to be? I know you do not want to be in the same position. So, you will need to do different things.
Take care of yourself. Be true to you. Love yourself. God loves you, my friend. Very much! Keep your head up. Keep smiling. Don't stoop to lower levels. You are not mediocre. You're exceptional. God bless you!
Always,
Joseph
----- Original Message -----
From: Jenny
To: Joseph
Sent: Monday, April 20 8:57 AM
Subject: Re:
I keep telling you how much I appreciate you and from the bottom of my heart I mean it. I need you at this time to stand in the gap for me. I have been unable to pray/meditate because of the heaviness of my heart. I love God, I know that this is best no matter how much it hurts. However, I feel like I brought it all on myself.
-J-
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph
To: Jenny
Sent: Monday, April 20 8:14 AM
Jenny,
I'm standing in the gap for you. I feel your hurt. I hear your pain. I know you love God. The fact that you cannot pray right now is not an indication of your love for God. Remember, God hears the simplest prays - help me God, I need you God, I don't know what to do God, guide me God, I don't want to hurt anymore God, I can't stand the pain God, what is going on God, why is this happening God, etc. God knows and God cares. One more thing, even if you did bring this on yourself, you have to forgive yourself. That is the hardest thing for most of us to do. It is easier to forgive others for what they have done than to forgive ourselves. We have so much guilt and shame that we carry because we do not forgive ourselves. Forgive yourself, Jenny. Find it in your heart to forgive yourself. Are you worthy of forgiveness? Do you deserve to be forgiven? If God can forgive you, then you can forgive you too! Yes, you are worthy of forgiveness. Yes, you do deserve to be forgiven. God loves you. Try to smile, Jenny.
Always,
Joseph
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph
To: Jenny
Sent: Tuesday, April 21 7:53 PM
Subject: Gold
Jenny,
I'm really proud of you. Despite the pain and tears, you are really doing some good things. Like thinking clearly about going on that trip with a married man. And sending a respectable letter. And thinking about what has gone on and what you want. And feeling the pain and learning from it. I am so proud of you! I am proud because it could be so easy to give in to the emotions and pain and hurt and temptations but you're being strong so you can get what you need out of this - and probably what you want too even though it does not look like it or feel like it. I appreciate talking to you. I appreciate you.
Keep smiling and keep the faith. Your breakthrough is closer than you think. Don't give up and don't give in. Be strong. Just because you're crying doesn't mean you're not strong. Just because you're hurting doesn't mean that you won't be victorious. Sometimes we must endure battle scars to win. But in time, healing takes place. The scars and wounds don't always go away but that doesn't mean thatwe're not healed. Scars and wounds that remain remind us of where we've been and what we've done.
Of lessons learned. Of things not to repeat. You're close, my sister. Hang in there and be tried in that fire so you can come out as pure gold. You're the best. Keep smiling. Peace to you and much love.
Always,
Joseph
[One of the most difficult things in life is to go through something all by yourself. It does not seem like anyone else is going through the same thing as you or has gone through the same thing. Your situation is magnified by your solitude. That is why it is so important to reach out to someone to help you through. We need someone to pray for us when we do not feel like praying. We need someone to encourage us when we feel hopeless and discouraged. We need someone to be there. Reach out to someone whether you are in pain or see someone in pain. It will make a world of difference to you and them.]