To avoid either problem, you need to take a reality check. You need more life experience, in order to find out what your capabilities are. This way, you can remove any “blinders” from your view of yourself, while staying grounded.
You’ve most likely heard of the saying, “Everyday, do something that scares you.” It simply means you must constantly strive to add or learn something new for your life
experience. It’ll most likely frighten you in the process because it’s something you don’t really know. (To this I shall add: it doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to do a foolish thing every day to frighten yourself.)
Don’t go looking for a painful experience as this accomplishes nothing. You want to push yourself slightly outside of your comfort zone. By stepping outside your familiar box, you will see more opportunity in life, and in love. You need to focus on breaking the habits that you are currently experiencing or you will continue to attract the same circumstances, and the same people into your life. Allow yourself to accept new opportunities and they will surface.
So, grab a map of the world, and let’s plan a trip! Think of a place you would love to go, and then determine your budget.
The most important thing is getting out of your current environment and stepping slightly outside your comfort zone. While planning this trip, make sure you are being realistic as well. This trip can be a three to four day hostel trip, or a seven
day all inclusive cruise depending on budget, and your schedule. Again, this is not meant to break the bank, this is about observation of yourself, and observation of others.
Fight the temptation of inviting friends along, and plan this trip on your own. This is the only way to ensure you can focus on yourself, and plan activities for the entire purpose of self discovery, and observation of others. Being on your own is very important, because it’s going to force you to be self-reliant and more introspective.
If you’re open to learning through observation of others and open to self discovery, you’ll be more accepting of new experiences, which will help broaden your mind.
Make sure when planning this trip that this is somewhere that you haven't gone before, and is within whatever budget you have at the moment. Remember, your trip can as simple as a Greyhound bus ticket and hostel stay one state over, or it could be as spectacularly risky as a base-jumping off of Angel Falls at Venezuela’s Auyantepui table-top mountain.
If you’re into photography, or are the journal-writing or video blogging type, go ahead and document your trip. The emphasis here, though, is self-reflection and introspection, so do note that it’s more important to keep diary notes of your own that are meant for your eyes only.
During your trip, see if you can make new friends among the locals of the places you’re visiting. If you have the time, take a short training class in a new skill. You can build your
trip around a learning course, like scuba diving, white water rafting, sky diving, or pottery making. If you like something
more exotic, use your imagination! You can try learning culinary arts in France, go tango dancing in Argentina, go on an archaeological dig in Israel as volunteer, or learn a martial art in Japan.
Most importantly, go people watching during your trip. It’s not enough that you go as a tourist, passively looking at historical sites or trekking through wilderness. You have to be a traveler as well, ready to encounter and understand other people different from the ones you’re used to.
A tourist is someone who objectifies a place he or she is visiting. It’s merely a place to visit and take pictures of. If a tourist interacts with the locals, it’s all about entertaining yourself on your vacation, and what souvenirs you’re going to bring home.
A traveler is someone who goes to a place in order to get to understand the history of its people, and to make a few friends. A traveler sincerely leaves something of himself with specific people he or she meets in a foreign land, while receiving or learning something from the people encountered.
Being a traveler is the better role because it expands your horizons by forcing you to interact with the sort of people you’ve never encountered before, or would even choose to talk to in the first place.