9. Avoid addiction to any harmful substance or activity.
If you’re smoking, you need to stop it. There is no health contribution there whatsoever, and it’s a slow but sure killer. Worse, you’re probably poisoning the non-smokers around you with secondhand smoke. You need to find a way to wean yourself off your nicotine addiction, and keep yourself from smoking, for the rest of your life.
If you use alcohol, then do not drink more than one small wine glass a day. In fact, if you can, don’t imbibe any alcohol at all. Forget about going on drinking binges with the guys or gals.
There’s a good reason why conservative Buddhist and Islamic countries frown on alcohol; it’s such an easy avenue towards addiction for too many people! Alcohol addiction is at the root of many societal problems in the world today, and makes life difficult for everyone it touches. An alcoholic is too distracted and sick to care for himself, much less a family or a job. An alcoholic can’t think straight, is frequently violent,
and a danger to everyone else. I could go on and on in making a list of social ills and tragedies alcohol addiction is
responsible for.
The same goes for dangerous, habit-forming drugs, substances or activities. You could get addicted to marijuana, cocaine, crystal meth, those prescription drugs your psychiatrist gave you, or meaningless sex—anything that can take over your life and turn you into a shallow, aimless robot.
If you want to achieve the best results for anything in your life, but find it a struggle to stop giving in to temptations, remove yourself from any environment that promotes drugs, alcohol binges, smoking or other vices. The world is much too big and colorful for you to miss out on it by focusing on these addictions; there’s so much in life for you to experience that doesn’t involve addictive substances.
The most dedicated professional athletes are addiction free. Consider yourself a professional athlete of Life, and the “game” of finding your soul mate as your “major event”. You wouldn’t let anything block your way to winning the prize, your soul mate, would you? So focus on your body and mind health!
Here’s a little dose of reality that you’ll need to bear in mind as well. Unless it’s part of your life’s career to keep yourself absolutely fit and even showbiz-glamorous, do not expect yourself to look like a Hollywood star! You only need to look like your real self. Successful actors and actresses have the money and the sponsors to keep looking the way they do, and it’s their job to look that way. If you focus too much on that level of appearance, you will find yourself becoming desperate and discouraged with everything you do. Manage your own expectations. Besides, looking as good as a celebrity takes a lot of time and money, sometimes too much beyond what you can afford.
Good, ordinary people don’t expect you to constantly look like you’re strutting on the red carpet all the time. Real-life
good looks and glamour have a different substance from what you see onscreen, and that’s what you need to aim for.
10. Keep your mind fit as well.
It’s not enough for you to put your body in great physical shape. You need to exercise your mind as well.
Become a puzzles-fan. Make it a habit to try out IQ- enhancing games, like chess. Try solving a Rubik’s Cube in the fastest time possible.
Challenge yourself to read books that you wouldn’t otherwise read. Don’t just stick to sports magazines, romance novels or inspirational books you like to read. Read everything! Read historical or economic analyses, a Pulitzer-prize winning novel or poem, old classics from East and West, a book on archaeology, books on culinary arts, mathematics or medicine, autobiographies, or technical manuals. Read the latest news,
or an editorial opinion in a magazine. Read everything!
Be curious about the world, and ask questions about why things run the way they do. It doesn’t matter who or what you are. If you’re a man, ask questions or learn about something you’ve always associated with femininity. If you’re a woman, ask questions or learn skills about a field dominated by men.
Did you catch that last sentence? Yes, that’s a hint for you. Imagine going into a situation or area where you’re nearly the only man or woman in a sea of members of your opposite sex. Imagine the favorable impression you’ll make on them, as they
realize you truly share the same thoughts and interests they never thought possible in the opposite sex. (And you’re not in their club just to snag dates.)
A Case of Gamer Love
Take for instance the case of Kat, who’s a client accounts manager by day and a gamer-chick-blogger by night.
“A couple of years ago, I worked at a really big corporate office. All made-up and clad in my dress suit and high heels, I knew I didn’t look like a gamer,” Kat wrote in her blog. “Then one day, the conversation over lunch at the office with some of the guys happened to take a turn towards the MMPORGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games) and specifically, the World of Warcraft (WoW). I absolutely love playing WoW, and I often go on virtual raids with people online who’ve become my real friends.
“So I joined the conversation and told them that my ‘main’ was a ‘level 80 feral druid tank’. Some of the women looked at me like I just grew a second head or something. But after the initial surprise, the men in the group started to relax and talk to me about their gaming hobby. They looked just happy enough to chat about a shared interest. Geeks are like the nicest people on the planet!”
Kat is married. She met her husband while playing World of Warcraft—they were raid leading partners.