When I sight the black gate of my house, my heart thuds so hard I think a rib is broken. I haven’t been home since that crazy son of a motherless goat tried to sabotage my parents into accepting this marriage by telling them that I was pregnant. The old way he called it. Well what I was expecting from a guy who has no idea what it feels like to disappoint your parents and younger siblings.
So that is why I am here now with gifts (as a bribe) and my sober face to clear up this mess. I just can’t vanish from my family. My family will have to be somehow half way part of my life, whether Lawyer is the mafia or not.
I take a deep breath before I get out of the taxi. With shaking knees I walk towards the gate. The only other time I had stood outside the gate forgetting how to knock was years ago in high school when I had ditched classes to go to the mall.
I thought I was in trouble then. Well this out rules every evil thing I have ever done in my entire lifetime.
Breathe in and out, in and out--- and with my brain full of oxygen I pound a fist on the gate twice and wait. I am think about turning and bolting when Karabo, my baby brother pulls the gate open.
‘Judith!’ he squeals and wraps his arms around me.
I hug him back a wide smile spreading across my face. ‘KB how are you my little man?’
He pulls back and excited innocent eyes meet mine, ‘I am fine now, it’s never boring with you around these days.’
‘Gee even you too are flashing this story in my face.’
He shrugs, ‘sorry sis, I have nothing else to think about—you are the breakfast lunch and dinner topic.’
‘That bad?’
‘Come inside and find out.’
I suppress a sigh as I follow Karabo inside the gate asking him random questions about school and his teachers. The first thing I notice is my heart spiking up. Maybe it’s just that I am nervous after all that’s happened and well last time I was here didn’t go so well either.
That’s why you are here. To clear the air, I remind myself as I walk closer to the front door. Hannah tried to talk me out of this. The less my family knows the better. But she wouldn’t understand. She has no family to worry about, neither do Heather. You just can’t close the door on people you love and face the other direction. Not unless they do not exist at all.
Karabo is pulling my hand as he pushes the door open and at this point I can say that my heart is in my throat. The living room is still the same way I had left it when Lawyer practically hurled me out of the house and mother was yelling at me to not leave with him while father yelled at her for encouraging me to want to keep a fatherless baby in his house. Yeah it had been that bad.
So everything was exactly the same except for mother’s fond smile when she sees me enter. No surprise, just glad you came smile and I can’t help but freeze and blink in return. Because I did have a prodigal son scenario in my head regarding my entry into the house. Thanks to Lala and now I am the one shocked.
‘Look who’s here!’ Karabo says singsonlgy as he finally takes the gift bags out of my other hand and leaves the room to devour the contents. Mother stands from the couch and comes to gently place her hands on my shoulders. Okay so I am not going to die today.
‘Finally, I thought you would never come, how was your workshop?’
I blink again. First of all nobody was supposed to know I was coming, secondly, workshop?
‘Uh--.’ Is all I manage to let out before Lala strides into the room with the same sentiment written all over her face?
‘There you are, thank God you came, because it was going to be an awkward dinner.’ She rolls her eyes, ‘I don’t dislike him anymore but I still think the man has a strange vibe. You know like he could be a vampire or an alien from another world.’
I always thought Heather and my sister would make a great pair.
‘It was all a misunderstanding—and he is such a gentleman.’ Mother smiles.
I scowl, what the hell are they talking about? They surely couldn’t be talking about Lawyer because I left him at the Abiwu house still waltzing around Solana like the rest of them.
‘Who is a gentleman?’ I have to ask.
Lala rolls her eyes, ‘Lawyer,’ she chuckles, ‘I admire his courage, and he came to explain himself even though father looked like he wanted to kill him.’
A cold shiver runs down my spine. Lawyer was here?
‘They are in your father’s study right now, we were just about to prepare dinner.’ Mother gives me a gentle pat before rushing back into the kitchen humming a song she only ever sang when she was beyond herself with happiness.
‘Lala.’ I whisper; my mind formulating a million ways I can get the hell out of the place, ‘how long has he been here?’
‘An hour or so I think.’ She whispers back, ‘why are we whispering?’
‘I—I think I left something in the car.’
She scowls at me, ‘you don’t have a car.’
I shake my head, ‘I mean taxi.’
‘It’s still here?’
I blink, ‘no it’s long gone, but I have the guy’s number, let me just call him and see how long it will take him to get here.’
Lala raises an eyebrow, ‘you are not chickening out are you?’
I laugh nervously, ‘chickening out of what?’
‘Lawyer really wants this to work—he obviously knows how important your family is to you for him to come all the way here and explain himself--- I know you must have been giving him a hard time considering the way he carried you out of this place like a bat out of hell.’
What in the world is Lala watching these days.
‘I am not chickening out—I need to make a call.’
Really make a call. Translation, run the hell out of here like-as Lala said- a bat out of hell so that I can figure out how the hell Lawyer ended up here as though he knew my little plan.
Lala nods, ‘five minutes or I am calling the alarms.’
Why did my sister have to know me so well?
As soon as the final part of Lala’s butt enters the door I take out my phone while making a beeline for the gate. Coward, yeah, call it as you wish. But if Lawyer is really here I don’t think I want to stay and witness whatever shit is about to unfold on me
I am looking for Hannah’s number while my other hand is about to open the gate when I hear footsteps behind me.
I freeze.
It takes me exactly half a minute to recollect myself to turn around and I am only able to master a blank look at him. And as for him, I can only say that I am in big trouble right now the world would have to end to save me from this predicament.
"What are you doing here?"
Always play the betrayed one card. Works every time.
By the expression on his face he doesn't buy it.
"Should be asking you the same question sweetheart." He pins a little smile.
Shit
I laugh nervously, "This is my home."
One eyebrow goes up, gulp... would it be too giving away if I fan my face, my thudding heart needs a little help here
"It didn't take me seconds to figure out what you were up to. I thought you wanted your family to not be involved."
Denial, always the second option, "what did you think I was going to tell them? I just wanted to make sure they would not try to look into where I vanished to.... Your family is not that hard to find”
One step and he is towering over me. “Half-truths lead to many other truths Judith, they are not imbeciles.....”
I gape at the accusation
"Now you decide whether you want your family involved or not, right here and now," he actually points at the ground for emphasis on the 'now' part
I plant fists on my hips, "why would I want to bring my family into this?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
I swallow, "look I wasn't here to---'
He chuckles pointing a finger at me, "don't do that Judith, look I know it's hard for you to just withhold the truth from your family in a way that would make all this reasonable to them..... But you are the one who wanted them out and if you have changed your mind, why do it behind my back."
I shake my head, just how long did he have to think about this, this is ridiculous.
"I wasn't going behind your back," I deny.
“Judith!"
"No listen, I never said I'd consult you every time I want to see my family,"
"You should have because of the way we left, you either came here to explain or lie, now which is it”
I look him square in the eye still not ready to let go of this one, "I came here to see my family Lawyer, and of course that would have required a little explanation, I don't know why you had to come here and have all these people starry eyed towards you." I pause a thought flashing into my mind, "what in the world did you tell them anyway?"
Long pause. Now I know for a fact that Lawyer is not a thinker. Contemplation doesn't exist in his dictionary
"What do you think?"
My scalp prickles, "what is wrong with you, why are you sticking to that story, sooner they will know the truth."
He shrugs, "is your family in or out."
I blink, because why the hell am I answering this question again?
"Of course they are out Lawyer, you know that." I glare at him, "you shouldn't even be here."
"Oh I should be here, before you jeopardize us and everything." He leans closer, his breath fanning my face, "but thankfully I have all the loose ends tied and sorted out”
I blink again and try to take a step back but a steely arm hooks around my waist and pins me into place.
Why is he even angry?
"Oh I am so grateful that you have the right to budge in on every step I take,
"Why would I want my family involved in all this?"
"I should be asking you the same thing Judith...... Anyway, it doesn't matter now, but in the future...."
I narrow my eyes at him, "don't come to my house like that."
"Or what? Thanks to my visits they are not going to call the National Guard on me to take you back home."
"You don't have to worry about that, my dad won't accept me back into his house to raise a bastard child.... Which is a story that you made up,"
"We both agreed to this plan."
"That's because I didn't have anything else in mind that time,"
He draws away from me a little and gives me a skeptical look, "you have a better story now?"
"And if I do? I can only imagine what story you cooked up this time."
He sighs, "I don't know why you are so sensitive about this, let's just tell them the truth, and we won't let anything happen to your family.... Or, maybe it isn't a lie after all”
"What isn't?"
Because, all the things my family knows about the two of us are pure made up stories even I myself am still trying to convince myself that I haven't gone bat shit crazy just yet.
He leans closer to me again, his eyes taking a dark color I have now come to recognize as the moment I need to voice out my restrains in regards to this relationship.
“The baby issue." His lips brushes on mine as he whispers the words sending my heart into a spiral jumpstart.
"Why? You have a baby in there somewhere."
"That's the only reason your parents let me marry you.... So why don't we just go with the original plan."
His lips press harder against mine, I press myself against him while his fingers scratch my scull. I hook my arms around his neck, someday, just some ordinary day in the hopefully nearby future I am going on a quest to find out why I lose all my sense when I get close to this man like this.
I have kissed a man before. Well Malcom to be more precise when we wanted to experiment taking our relationship to the next level. It had felt so wrong, well for me because for so many years after that Malcom was still asking me what my problem was.
Point is I have never been so senseless because of another human being before—
His fingers abandon my hair and I feel both his hands thread against my back and then I am being pushed backwards. My sneakers move reluctantly against the brick pavement before I feel the hard cold brick wall of my house against me.
Lawyer’s hands leave me and plants either side of my head. And I love it. I love this feeling of being trapped. Yeah I am weird. Meanwhile our lips are still locked in a bruising fest when a sharp voice startles us both.
‘Guys get a room.’ Lala whisper-shrieks as I push Lawyer off me and the goof only presses me against the wall refusing to unglue his lips from mine, ‘mom and dad are just a few windows away from watching you two like this—and what the hell am I going to explain to Karabo when he sees you two.’
Lawyer is not stopping so I stomp on his foot. He grunts before finally releasing me, only to turn to Lala and giving her a cheeky grin. My poor sister looks like she is ready to bolt.
‘Tell him the truth.’ Lawyer says giving me a suggestive glance. I mouth a murderous threat at him.
‘Why must it be up to me?’ Lala mumbles folding her arms, ‘you are both wanted in the house.’ she waves at us carelessly, ‘try to keep your hands off each other for at least the whole ordeal,’
‘Ah seriously-.’ I start to say but she is already round the corner and out of sight. Yeah she bolted. She still can’t get over how I ended up bringing such a dangerous looking boyfriend home. Well that makes two of us.
‘We’ll finish this conversation later.’ He says as he takes my hand and we start for the house.
‘This conversation is already over, it’s not going to happen—you created this ordeal so deal with it yourself.’
He doesn’t reply. That can’t be good.