CHAPTER 18
I decided to speak to Papa also about this. May be he will know better than me. Then I phoned Papa and asked him whether he is free for dinner. He said that he is and I confirmed 7.00pm with him at the dining room in our house. Then I phoned Martha and informed her that Emi and I will be having dinner with Papa at seven in the house. She said that she will prepare something special.
Then I turned to Emi.
“Emi we are having dinner with Papa in the house tonight. But I want you to do a small favor for me, When we finish dinner give me a little time to speak to Papa alone. In my case I don’t mind talking to him in front of you but he might be reluctant to talk freely. Will you understand?”
“Of course Sarah.”
Finally I made one more call to the financial controller and asked him to send me a printout of the P&Ls’ for the last three years.
Emi refused to go in my car and said that she will take the bus home and I had to understand. By doing that she came home twenty minutes late than me and it was all right.
When I introduced Emi to Papa he looked happy...
“It is good to have you here Emi. As Sarah doesn’t have any brothers or sisters, you will be a good companion to her. Martha tells me that you are a very nice person and I hope that you will stay with us as long as you wish.”
Then I told him about Emi's incident in the office and how I chased her out. After hearing it he said to Emi that I am just like her mother. It is a very peaceful evening and I thought that we should do this more often. After coffee Emi excused herself and went to her room and I started the conversation with Papa. I told him about my whole idea of increasing salaries of our employees as well as the meals that they get in the ships and asked him about his idea.
“What made you to go into all these details?”
“I met somebody who worked in one of our ships and he complained it to me.”
“Did you believe him? Sarah, you are a qualified expert in this business now. I have one hundred percent confidence in you to handle this business on your own. When you are doing business cheating is normal. Sometimes the owners get cheated by the employees; sometimes the big people cheat the small ones. If we try to correct all these faults we will have to kick so many people out and at the same time we will have to hire new hands also. At the same time we will have a lot of enemies. As long as it doesn’t affect us my advice for you is to keep a blind eye on it.”
“But if the people who are working for us are suffering?”
“May be I am old fashioned. I am not qualified as you are; if you think you can do it without any major changes in the business, I am with you but before implementing it, you must show me the plan.”
“I will Papa... and there is one more thing which I want to ask you? Do you believe in God?”
His face changed at once. Suddenly he had fallen in to deep thought. He didn’t realize that I am waiting for his answer. He took a very long time to start talking again.
“My answer is no.”
“Why Papa? Tell me why?”
“You know a little bit of how I started this business... in the beginning it was very painful for your mother and me. Your mother was a strong believer and she took all that pain with a smile and all along she told me that this business is going to be all right and we will be very rich someday. Little by little I also started having hope for our future, rather I also started believing.
Suddenly your mother died and I thought if God is going to take the life of a believer before taking me as an unbeliever, that way, he is not my God. As she said, the business became the best but I lost the most wanted person in my life.”
Suddenly his eyes are getting wet. I wanted to tell him about Job’s story but then he will wonder how I came to know of it.
“To me success of a business is hard work, and it will never be a gift or a blessing from God. It is the ability of a person to pursue until reaching the goal in his life. A person’s death is nature, when you get sick if there is no cure for the illness, you die. When you are old you die. But your mother loved Jesus so much and I think her death is not reasonable.”
“What made you to ask this from me?”
“One of my friends gave me a Bible and he wants me to read it. I kept it on my bed side table and Martha saw it and while talking about it she mentioned that mother was a strong believer.”
“It’s true she was... but I don’t advise you to read it. I don’t say reading it is bad. Your mother read it every day and she was a wonderful woman. But avoiding it, is better than going into it.”
I had to change the topic.
“Papa I think we should have dinner like this often. I enjoyed it very much.”
“Yes, if you want to I don’t mind but now you are twenty four and you must think of finding a nice young man. I want to see a grandchild before I die. But once again one little advise.. Don’t ever find a man who is after your money. If I smell that your man is after your money I will write the business only on my grand child’s name never to change by you or anybody. Then it will go to my grandchild but not you. I don’t want to do that Sarah because I love you so much and I want to see that you do well in life. So, be careful when you find your future partner.”
“I understand Papa. I will find somebody whom you will accept.”
“It’s time to go to bed Sarah, I am tired see you tomorrow, good night.”
I kissed him on the cheeks and came searching for Emi. I found her in her room talking to Martha. They have become good pals and I am happy about it. They were sitting on her bed and talking to each other while holding their arms. When I walked into to the room they stopped their topic and Martha excused herself and walked out of the room.
“Shall we go to my room Emi?”
“Ok let’s go.”
Once we settled down I asked her to tell me her story and she started.
“I have related this story to many and now I have become an expert on it. When I was about four years I had to go to an orphanage because my parents died on a car crash. When it happened I was also there in the car but I became the only survivor. In this orphanage there were so many like me. I got very good treatment there and I liked it very much because when I was with my parents I was not very happy because my Papa used to fight with Mum almost every day. Sometimes he used to hit her and she used to cry the whole day.
So I liked my new home better. I missed my parents sometimes but until I was grown I was not interested about them or they didn’t come to my mind or I didn’t feel sad about them. At the age of seven I started schooling and every Sunday a Christian teacher came to the home to teach us God’s word. He was young, well read, a God fearing man who taught us with a lot of love and care. In this class I became his favorite as I remembered each and every word he spoke in the class. Every day when he came to teach us he brought candies for us and because of this almost everybody were looking forward for this Sunday Christian class.
Until I was about fifteen he came to do the class and suddenly one day he came and said that he will be going to a far away country in Africa on God’s call. At that age I understood clearly what he was talking about and we cried and wished him goodbye. I promised him that I will up hold him in my prayers to God and still I do.
Though I was doing my studies I was not very successful in school. Only thing I was good at was Christianity. At the age of seven I had the gift of tongues.”
“What is gift of tongues Emi?”
“It is worshipping and communicating with God in a different language only known by God and you, but the utterance is given to you by God the Holy Spirit. It is not your own tongue.”
I can remember Shane doing it in front of me when I fainted the other day in Germany.
“At the age of fifteen I had to take over that class and then I realized that I have the gift of teaching. In this home everybody had to leave the place when they are eighteen. So when I was eighteen, it was time for me to leave. Before leaving, when I went to collect my personal file only I came to know that the couple died in the car long ago were not my parents.
When the car crashed with the other my parents died on the spot. But when the police found out that I was alive, they have checked for my identity along with my parents to confirm that I am their daughter. But they had to think negative as according to that couple’s identity they had no children. And suddenly I had become somebody who had fallen from the sky. The police have tried their best to find my identity by announcing on the radio and putting pictures on the papers but have failed.
So when I came out from that home I was nobody but managed to use the same name I used in that home as Emily Christie. My first job was babysitting though it didn’t pay good I managed to go to the night school and did a secretarial course. During this time I lived in a small room and had only one meal a day. Some jobs were really hard and I had to put on more than ten hours a day. As I was living in down town I had to walk all alone in the night to my room and people used to misunderstand me to a prostitute. I have faced terrible situations while doing those jobs. Sometimes men were trying to rape me, some wanted to rob me, and you name it I have faced it. But all along my God and my Jesus was with me and He never failed me even for once to protect me from those dangers.
Then when I got my diploma I worked in so many places as all the men who were there wanted to have sex with me.”
“No wonder you are so beautiful.”
I said and Emi blushed.
“Until I came to the Harris Cargo I did more than fifty jobs and had to leave them because of men. When I came to Harris Cargo I was very happy as my boss was a lady of my age. I knew that I won’t be having any problems with men this time. That is why I say it is my first decent job. I remember thanking God a million times for this job. But suddenly you chased me out.
Then I got chased out from my room also because I couldn’t afford to pay for that room. Then for last eleven days or so I did a temporary job on commission in a laminating shop. They pay you according to the laminations you do for a day. Some days it’s not bad but most of the days my commission was under fifteen dollars. Then you came back...”
Both of us were lying on my bed and I had to put my arms around her.
“Will you forgive me Emi?”
“You don’t have to ask that from me. I don’t blame you for what happened. A person doing something bad to somebody without knowing the gravity of it is not committing a sin. But in your case when you realized your mistake you came back to say sorry and that is a God rewarding thing. I am sure and pray that God will find your happiness for what you did for me.”
We held each other for a long time.
“Emi will you be my sister?”
“Already I am your sister.”
By the time we went to sleep it was one in the morning. As we didn’t work on Saturdays and Sundays I don’t have to think of the office for another two days. I tried to sleep but I am not feeling sleepy. It’s nine O’clock in the morning in Germany. Shane must be sleeping now. He must be wearing that same piece of cloth around him. I felt that I am getting sexually aroused by thinking of that sight. A beautiful body with a beautiful thing. Oh! How I long to have him. I can’t imagine the pleasure I will get, once he starts riding me on top of my body. I will come ten times in one hour.
The back of the jogging suit is wet again and I don’t care, only thing I care in this world now is to have him inside me. I am too excited and can’t think of sleeping now. I got up and went to the medicine cabinet to get two sleeping dolls. I need them very badly. Otherwise I will be up until morning. After taking them I came back to bed. Jim was wrong the other day. I am soaking wet now only by thinking of Shane. Jim couldn’t arouse my sexual feelings that day. I will never go to bed with him again. I felt drowsy, and at last now I will sleep.
I felt Shane putting his arms around me and he started kissing me. First my forehead then my cheeks, then my ears, then my neck and then my lips. Then he started squeezing my nipples. I was on fire. I felt his hardness pressing into my body. Oh! I can’t wait anymore. I am ready to come. Shane is kissing the lower part of my body now. I felt that he don’t have to reach the most sensitive part... I was coming... I came with a scream.
“Sarah, Sarah, what's wrong with you? Sarah get up what’s wrong? Sarah please tell me, what’s wrong with you?”
I got up and Emi was standing next to my bed with a scary face.
“I had a dream Emi.”
“Why did you scream?”
How can I tell her that? No I can’t tell you that Emi, How can I.
Then we both noticed that the bed is wet and I didn’t have to explain it to her. She knew.
“You go and take a wash because it’s already 9 O'clock in the morning.”
I slowly got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back the bed linen had been changed and Emi was waiting for me. I felt very shy in front of her but at once she put me at ease.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
The bare land in our home is about two acres. We got out from the back entrance started walking. I can’t remember the last day I walked through the garden. The cool spring breeze is hitting me and I felt good. We walked silently for a long time and sat on a bench near the fishpond.
“Are you alright now?”
She asked me.
“Much better.”
“Does that happen to you often?”
“No, it started after I met Shane, I don’t know I can’t forget him. How much ever I try I can’t. I want him. Tell me how Emi?”
“There is only one way Sarah but I can’t suggest that to you because if you are going to do it only to have Shane, you won’t succeed. Because when you go in front of him, he will know your intentions at once and you will fail.”
“But Emi tell me the way I will try.”
“You can have him only through God’s permission, not otherwise.”
“How can I have God’s permission?”
“There are certain complications involved in it. I will tell you why... To have God’s permission first you must become a Christian. But if you are going to become a Christian only to have Shane it won’t work. You must become a Christian because you love God, because you want to have Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your heart. Then you must decide whether you want to have Shane as your husband or not. If not it won’t work still. Also you need to consider Shane’s life. He is a poor man from a third world country. You will have to adjust your life style according to his. I don’t know whether your Papa will accept him as his son in law. You must believe what I tell you. First you decide what you want from Shane. If you want only sex from him it is high time that you forget about him. God is the only way. You take it or leave it.”
I had nothing to say.. This is something impossible. Even if I become a Christian and even if I want to marry Shane I will be doing it because of Shane. I won’t do that because I love God? I don’t know who God is, so how can I love Him? I told Emi what I think.
“From the time I heard your story I have been praying to God to have grace upon you. I want you to be saved. Tomorrow we have an all night prayer meeting and I won’t be coming home until early morning. I will ask those people also to pray for you. God is waiting for you to come to Him. It’s you who should make the decision. Tomorrow I will ask those people to pray for you.”
The rest of the day I spent on analyzing the income and the profits of the company to give our workers a raise in their salaries. For a month we had a clean profit of twelve million dollars. Our salary bill for a month is around four and a half million dollars. I decided that we should give a hundred percent increase to our minor staff and should give a fifty percent increase to all others. I can persuade Papa on it.
But first I should wait for the file from Clay. If the captains are cheating on food I will ask the office to prepare a menu card for the whole week according to the money we allocate and it should be hanged on all the notice boards on all ships for the workers to observe. If the menus are not served accordingly a representative of the workers should inform the head office at once, and necessary action will be taken against the Captains. Further I decided to have a constant investigation system on workers due rights through our investigation branch to make sure that nobody is ill-treated.
In the evening Emi said that she wants to get ready for tomorrows’ prayer meeting and I was feeling lazy. I wanted to watch TV but when I switched the thing on, there was nothing interesting going on so I came back to my room. Then I saw the Bible, which Shane gave me and took it to my hand. I just went through the first few pages but I thought it is boring. If I want to read a book I don’t mind reading a paper back with a lot of juicy stuff, which will keep me glued to the book until I finish reading it. But definitely not this one.