CHAPTER 19
It was 7.00pm when Raymond phoned. Raymond is the coordinator to a supplying company to our company. He is thirty nine and he is the oldest man I ever dated in my life so far.
“Hi! Sweetie Sarah, I am in town. Do you like to meet me tonight for dinner?”
He asked. Now Raymond is a super lover. He is experienced. He had a few of the latest gadgets where he will make sure to satisfy his woman. With all those things he passed as a good lover. He liked his woman to walk nude in front of him until he stroked himself to a good erection before starting to kiss and fondle and touch.
“Yes Ray I am free. Let’s meet up.”
That was my instant reply to him. I know that with Jim I had a big problem the other day but I want to try again. I know either I have to forget about Shane or I have to take a decision about him.
“I’ll pick you up at 8.00 then. Is it ok with you?”
‘Yes, I will be ready.”
“See you later then.”
I went to Emi’s room and told her that I will be leaving in one hour’s time to have Dinner with Raymond. She did not comment.
The dinner was good as Ray had a lot of taste in ordering a proper dinner. The white wine was good and it is good for sex too. By the time we left the Meridian it was eleven. I knew that he will be taking me to his room and I had no problems with it. I know that I have to forget Shane fast or I will be a sick old hen for the rest of my life very soon. Tonight I will give my best to Raymond.
By the time we reached Ray’s room it was quarter past.
“Do you care for a drink sweetie?”
Ray asked while kissing me lightly on my lips. Without waiting for my answer he opened up another white wine and broke some ice in to a bucket he had in the room. I was wearing a tight evening gown a little shorter than normal and we sat on the same settee while pouring our drinks.
He said “Cheers!” while kissing my neck.
“It’s been more than six months since we made it. Tell me what were you up to?”
Ray asked.
At once Shane came to my mind but quickly I managed to put him off my mind.
“Business, business and business Ray; nothing special. Father wants to retire soon and he wants me to master the trade before he does that. Last week I was in Germany and managed to sign two more new roots for us. There is hardly any time for leisure or pleasure.”
“Then you must be starving for love sweetie. Why don’t you take off your clothes and walk a little bit for me.”
While saying that he started undressing himself and he helped with my bra just to take the buckle off from behind. I felt that his body is already warm. Both of us are nude now and I started walking in front of him. He is stroking his thing for an erection.
After about fifteen minutes he was ready and we started fondling and touching and kissing. As I was a little tipsy I liked it as I knew today it is going to happen.
Unfortunately it didn’t happen. Ray tried with many of his toys and gadgets but all of them failed. Ray was angry and wanted me to give him a blow job but I was not in a mood for that as I don’t know what happened to me. Finally I had to leave the place by force. I still remember what he said while I was forcing myself out of his place.
“I am sorry to tell you this. You are sick Sarah, you need to see a doctor fast. Hope you will be ok next time.”
I had to gulp down two sleeping dolls to go to sleep or otherwise I will be up the whole night. I got into Shane’s jogging which was washed and ready on my bed. The thought of me being sick is terrible and now two men have told me this.
I thought of marriage. Papa will be happy to see a grandchild. I wonder how a child will look like from Shane. The child will have a beautiful skin and will be very beautiful just like Shane and me.
What if I get married to him? No man so far ever made me feel this way. I never wanted any man so far like the way I am for Shane. He had made me sick... Love sick. How much ever I think of forgetting him, it has become a dream so far and I want him more than ever. It is good that I covered my true identity from him. Even if I marry him, he won’t be after my money and Papa will agree to it. I feel too drowsy to think good but I think I will marry him. If he is not good, later I could divorce him. Divorce is very common here so that won’t be a problem for me. I could even afford a few millions to get rid of him as a settlement.
Tomorrow I must tell Emi that I want to marry Shane. What about becoming a Christian? Oh! That’s a secondary thing...I will think about it later.
I asked Shane whether he will marry me but he said;
“No, Not the way you are now…….. If you change, I could consider.”
I was really angry……
“Who the fuck are you to talk to me like that? Do you think that I am a fucking pauper to ask you to marry me? Or do you think that I am so hard up for a man?”
“Sera you don’t understand. I can’t help it. I think I have spoken enough and those words do not go in to your head. Only thing left for me to do is to pray. That’s all.”
“You and your fucking God……..I hate, I hate both of you.”
While this argument going on I woke up and it is seven in the morning and Emi was already up. Before greeting her good morning I told her my decision.
“Emi...I have decided to marry Shane.....”
“You sound angry…… Why?....... You had a bad dream?......Are you sure?”
“Yes I was dreaming and the dream was not soooooo good. I don’t mind even marrying him today.”
“Don’t you realize your first problem is still there?”
“I know....That is why I am telling you....I need your help.”
“Sarah... I don’t like to see you getting disappointed. I like to see you happy. You have brought happiness into my life and I want to make sure that you also have that same happiness in life. To achieve that I am praying to God to have mercy upon you. But it is you who should make the first move. It is you who should make the decision.”
“If I write to Shane and tell him then what?”
“His answer will be no.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because he is under God's command. If you are not true and if you are not a Christian God will warn him in advance. Then you will lose him again.”
“Then tell me what do you want me to do?”
“First come to know God. That is the only way and there is no other way.”
“Tell me what if you see a nice man and if you want to marry him? Then what are you going to do?”
“I am not interested in a man’s looks. What matters to me is whether God is going to approve him or not.”
“Have you met any nice men in your life so far Emi?”
“We all see so many beautiful men everyday but if God is approving all of them how nice the world would be. I wish we will have a world like that but it won’t take place until the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. At the moment Satan runs this whole world. That is why we come across so much of evil today.”
“I don’t know Emi....I don’t understand.”
“We don’t come into this world with knowledge. Everybody has to start somewhere and search for the truth. Then you will begin to understand. So Sarah you have to start some day from somewhere. You can’t say everyday that you don’t understand. Search for it and if you don’t find the truth forget it. After searching only that you will find it.”
“From where do I start?”
“You start from Shane’s life and check with the word of God how he became a man like that. When you find the reason for his changed life through the word of God, you will have a better understanding about God then and after you decide whether you want to lead a life like that. If you think Shane’s God is good, welcome him into your heart as your Lord and savior by repenting on your past sins. When a person repent on sins and welcome Jesus Christ in to their hearts as savior and Lord we call that person a Christian. A born again Christian.”
“Where do I start in the Bible?”
“I advise you to start from the book of Matthew.”
“Also I want to say something very personal to you.”
“What is it Sarah?”
I told her about my sexual condition when I am with a man. This started happening only after I met Shane. I told her that I go dry and the man cannot do it because of that. I told her that this happened twice with two separate men.
“Sarah, I have no experience in that area and I am unable to advise you on this. But I can tell you one thing; premarital sex is prohibited by God. It could be that after you met Shane, God has changed a physical switch in your life as you are experiencing a thing like this now. But I am not sure. The only thing that I could advise you is have patience and don’t date any men you see and meet. If you still want to make sure that you are not sick, go and see a good doctor but not immediately”
“What if I marry Shane and still I have this problem?”
“If God has planned to give you to Shane as his bride God will heal you of all before He gives you to him.”
“Ok Emi I believe you and I will start reading the Bible from today itself. I will start after lunch.”
“Praise the Lord. Shall we have lunch now?”
We both started laughing....
“It is only nine O’clock in the morning. Why do you want me to start now?”
“Why not?.... I will be in the next room to yours and call me if you have any questions.”
“Ok lets go and have breakfast then I’ll start.”
“Will have a quick breakfast Sarah... I am afraid that you might change your mind.”
After breakfast I went into my room and took the Bible Shane presented to me. While holding it I thought.... God if you are true, and if you think that I should believe you.... show me the way and let me marry Shane.
I started with Jesus’ life line... I don’t understand why it is there but kept on reading it. I didn’t realize the time passing until I finished reading the book. When I looked at the side table clock it was one in the afternoon. I went in search of Emi and she was waiting for me to have lunch.
“How did it go?”
Emi asked.
“Did you find any answers to Shane’s change in life?”
“A lot.. But it’s unbelievable.”
“I started believing unbelievable things in it after searching for the truth and it will be the same for you.”
After lunch I started reading the Gospel of Mark and it was the same thing I thought but I kept on. Then suddenly I was sleepy and I went to sleep.
In the evening Emi wanted to go for the prayer meeting by bus but I insisted that she should go with Sholcky or Logus in the car. After so much of talking she agreed. Then I buzzed Sholcky...
“Yes madam?”
“Miss Emily will be going for a prayer meeting at seven thirty accompany her and wait until she comes back. Ask Logus to stay.”
“Yes madam....I will be ready at seven thirty.”
“Good and thank you Sholcky.”
I told Emi that Sholcky will be accompanying her to the place. Before leaving she asked me to finish reading Mark before going to sleep and I said Ok.
I had an early dinner and watched a little TV. The top twenty was on and I wanted to see my favorite song and it came at last as number one. I closed my eyes and tried to remember Shane singing it. When the song is over I felt sad. In vain I should have recorded it to one of my videos. Then I thought of reading the Bible but I can’t concentrate anymore. So I thought of going to sleep. I took two sleeping pills and went to bed.