I took a deep breath.
“Well what if I just don’t feel anything? Am I supposed to just pretend I like the guy?” I said sarcastically.
“Look Alexandra, these feelings that you talk about, they fade away eventually and then you’re left with whatever else that person has. Which can be pretty awful if you don’t watch yourself.”
“But you and dad are happy. Aren’t you?”
I was becoming more agitated because she was lecturing me.
“Yes, of course. But it’s not as simple as you may think.
My love for your father grew and it didn’t happen overnight.”
“It happened over night for dad,” I cut in.
“Well, yes that’s true, although you’ll have to ask your father to be sure.” She paused briefly. “I recognize the look that David had yesterday when he looked at you. It reminded me of the way your father used to look at me.”
“And still does.” I added before continuing: “But he felt it from the start.”
“Yes, maybe so, but it hasn’t been without hardship either. All I’m saying is that you need to weigh in all the aspects of a relationship. Not just your bodily instincts… and to be honest I have no idea how you couldn’t feel those things for David, he is quite a dish isn’t he?” She giggled and held her coffee cup up to her mouth.
“But you got through all the hardship because you love each other.” I said emphasizing the word ’because’. “How are you suppose to even tolerate some of the hardship if you’re with a person you don’t even have feelings for?
And do you seriously expect me to force myself into a relationship without any gut feeling that it’s right?” I was raising my voice without noticing.