Chapter 15 Jane
After Gabe left I went back upstairs and took a short nap. I was still tired after our little session last night. Now I'm laying by the pool getting some sun. I have my iPod and the phone Gabe gave me by my side just in case he calls me. “Wow do my eyes decisive me?” Sam ask as she drops next to me. “Shut up” I smile. I've been smiling all day. All I have to do is think about Gabe and I can't stop my smile. She smiles and strips down to her bathing suit “Nice to see you getting some sun I stopped by your room last night but I guess you were sleeping”. I slide down my shades avoiding looking at her as my cheeks get red “Yea I was tired”. She starts to rub sunblock on herself “Well the movie was ass so you didn't miss much”. I'm so relieved she bought the whole I was tired story. Sam pulls out her iPhone and connects it to the beats stereo. I guess I won't be needing my iPod no more. “This is my favorite radio station back home” she says.
“Welcome back everyone to 'Mornings with Jacky' I don't know if you guys remember a few weeks ago I shared a story with you guys about a guy looking for his dream girl”
Sammy sits up and turns up the volume “This is the story I told you about Jane remember?” she ask all excited. I look at her like she lost her mind I have no idea what she is talking about.
“Well for those who haven't herd the story let me catch you up. A few weeks ago a guy called every radio station in the US trying to reunited with the love of his life. Apparently this guy met his soul mate and everything was going great you know typical love story until one day the girl disappeared into thin air just like magic. She left with out saying goodbye or even leaving a clue where she might be. He took it on himself to search for her every where but he always came out empty handed. I know what you're thinking why look for some one who obviously don't want to be found? You would think that he got the hint and stopped looking for her right? Wrong. Instead of moving on he comes up with a plan to call every station in the USA and request for them to play the same song at the same time and he did that for 2 months everyday.”
I remembering this story now. Sammy and I are so in to the story that we haven't made a sound.
“But this is the catch he never gave his or the girl's name all he ever gave where nicknames. I know what you're asking if he never gave the names than how was the girl suppose to know he was looking for her? I asked him the same question and his answer was that she would know just by hearing the song. I'll give you the rest of the story after this song stay tune”
“I hate when they do that” Sam huffs. I feel as frustrated as she does I'm so in to the story I want to know what happens next. “Do you think he found her?” she ask me with hope in her eyes. I take off my shades “I hope so”. I really do. I love a happy ending as much as the next romantic.
“Okay we are back. So the guy said that he didn't have to say their names because the song would remind her of him. He ask us to play the song and afterwards say a few words. So here goes the song and if you are that mystery woman please calls us at 1866556588 we are dying to know your side of the story”.
I lay back down and wonder why would the girl leave him in the first place? He sounds like a nice guy. Now in days men don't chase a women down instead they replace them with the next. Just the fact that he is doing all of this to find her proves what kind of a man he is.
“When my hairs all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will love me the same”
Sammy turns up the volume to the song. I feel like I've herd this song some where before but I can't put my finger where.
“Cause honey your soul could never grow old it's ever green and baby your smile's forever in my memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
It's all part of a plan well I'll just keep on making the same mistakes hoping that you'll understand
That baby now take me into your loving arms kiss me under the light of a thousand stars place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud maybe we found love right where we are”
Holly shit now I remember the song it's the same song I dances with Gabe that night at the fair. It must be a coincidence it's not like only Gabe and I have herd this song. I mean what are the chances right?
“That was 'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheen and now back to the last part of the story. He ask me to read this part as if I was him talking to her so listen up because you just might be that lucky girl
'I've never thought about falling in love, or getting marry or even growing old with some one. As I watch the old couple dance that night I asked myself who would I be dancing with? To my surprise your face was the face I saw when I looked into my future. That man stared at his wife like she was his everything and when she laughed his whole face lite up like the fourth of July. I've never seen so much love before I didn't even think it was possible but than you laughed at something corny I said and at that very moment I realized that I felt the same way for you. That scared the hell out of me because I'm not use to all this emotions. What I'm trying to tell you is that I loved you ever since I was just not brave enough to tell you. I promise I'll find you no matter where you are. I promise'
And he sign off as the Muffin man. Obviously it's a inside joke. It has been a month since he last called and we are all dying to know what has happen did he finally found his dream girl? Or did he just give up like any other reasonable men would of done? Muffin man if you're listing to this right now gives us call”.
I feel tears rolling down my face that was for me. I'm that girl. Gabe has been trying to tell me he was alive this whole time. If only I would of listen to the damn radio station I would of known he was alive. I thought I was the only one who had notice the couple but he did too. He loved me from that moment how didn't I see it? The way he was staring at me that night as we dance I should of recognizes that look it was the same one as the old man. “Whats wrong prima?” Sam rushes to sits next to me “I'm sorry I should of never made you listen to that” she throws her arm over my shoulder. I shake my head “No, thank you for putting it on”. I need to get myself under control I probably look like a crazy bitch crying over a love story if only she knew it's my love story. “I'm going to get you something to drink I'll be right back” she runs away towards the house. He has been looking for me all this time and I had no idea. I pull out Gabe's phone and call him.
“Hi Muffin” he answers and more tears start to fall. At this point I don't know why am I even crying.
“It was you” I say it more as a statement than a question.
“What's wrong Jane? I swear I don't know anything” he quickly adds with worry in his voice. I clear my throat trying to get rid of my emotions “You're the Muffin man?”.
He let's out a small breath of relief “How did you find out?”.
I knew it was him! I told him that I was listing to the radio and how I thought it was him but then confirm it when he talked about the old couples.
“I saw them too and all I keep thinking about was how I wanted some one to look at me like he looked at her and now I know I had it all along” I finish with new sets of tears. Oh god I need to get myself under control. I wish he was in front of me right now so I could jump into his arms.
“After I was release from the hospital I searched for you all over New York and each time I came up empty handed. I tried to go back to work the next day but my Captain wouldn't allow me. I knew you weren't in New York but I thought you were some where in the country. So I came up with the radio plan. I hoped that you would hear the song and realized I was alive and searching for you I didn't use our names because I didn't want any one to know I was alive” he finish.
All along I thought I was alone in this but he has always been there. “I'm sorry” I say through my stuffy nose.
“Sorry?” he ask confuse “for what?”.
I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry for dragging him into this mess, for not having the strength to walk away from him when I had the chance, for not telling him the truth from the start, for almost getting him killed, for getting him shot. There is so much I'm sorry for I can't even name them all. “For everything” I settle for that.
“Jane there is nothing for you to be sorry about none of that was your fault so stop blaming yourself. You are the best thing that has ever happen to me. I don't regret nothing do you?” he ask.
There is a lot of things I regret and that I'm sorry for but being with him is not one.
“Of course not you mean everything to me when I thought you were dead my whole world came crushing down I even thought of killing myself,” that's the first time I ever said that out loud I can't believe I just admit that to him out of all people “but I stayed strong because I promised you I was going to take care of Sophia”. I wrap my arm around my waist trying to get some comfort wishing it was his arms around me instead of mines.
“I'm so glad you didn't harm yourself I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you did,” his voice cracks at the end causing me to choke on my own words “Muffin we have to find a solution and fast because I refuse to keep sleeping alone”. Leave it up to him to make me smile.
“I know handsome just give me some time”. I need to sort things out before I leave again. I need to find out more about my mom, I need to help Nina with her daughter, and I have to fix things with my dad. “Okay but we have to do it soon because I have to get back and sort somethings out myself” he says. I know it is selfish of me to make him wait, keeping him away from his job and family. “Thank you handsome” I look back and see Sam walking back with a tray of food.
“Do you feel better Muffin?” he ask. I know I should get off the phone before Sam sees me on it but I'm not ready to say bye just yet.
“Actually I do” I slide my glasses back on trying to hide my puffy red eyes from Sam.
“Good I'll call you later Muffin because Logan is getting a little jealous I need to cheer him up” he laughs. I join in “Okay tell him that you're all his for now that is”. Sammy sits next to me with a raised eyebrow. She is probably wondering where I got the phone from. “Love you Muffin always don't forget that” he says. I can't stop the smile from creeping on my face “Me too”. I hang up the phone and reach for my bowl of ice cream, which I know Nina made because it has homemade brownies in it. “Who was that and where the phone come from?” Sam ask.
“A friend and what phone?” I shove a spoonful of ice cream with brownies. The brownies are still warm. They are so mushy and chocolaty I think I just died and went to brownie heaven. She nods her head in understanding and drops the convo. I love her for. “Okay so I guess no one knows about the phone and this is your way of telling me to shut up” she says. I point my spoon at her “Smart girl remind me again why you're with Raul?”. I still don't get that. She sticks out her tongue at me “Not going there”. She stands and walks back to her seat as we eat our ice cream in complete silence.
“Okay I'm sorry” I finally give in. I don't want to fight with her especially over Raul. “Did you even think about me when you decided to leave?” she ask throwing me of guard. Of course I thought about her and every one else. They were the reason why it took me so long to make the decision in the first place. Every time I thought about leaving them behind it broke my heart. “All my life it has always been me and you against everyone. You're more than just my cousin you're my best friend and sister. So when you ran away you took all of that away leaving me alone” she brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them “I had no one to talk to yeah there is Jr. but you know he is always traveling and well you know about my mom. The first few days were the worst I've never felt so lonely in my life. One day I was outside by the pool getting some sun when Raul stopped by. You know he was the first person who actually ask how I was doing. Every one else just pretended like nothing was happening. After that day he would stop by everyday to see how I was doing. Next thing I know we were dating. So yeah you might think he is an asshole but he was there for me when no one was” she smiles.
I feel like a piece of shit I never once stop to think how much me leaving would affect her. At the end of the day it was me who pushed her into Raul's arms. I should be thankful that he was there for her when she needed some one the most but I'm not. I know that he didn't do that from the kindness of his heart. He waited until she was the most vulnerable to jump into action and that makes me dislike him even more. I put my bowl down on the table and walk over to sit next to her “Sam I'm sorry for hurting you I was selfish and I hate myself for that,” I wrap me arms around her “You're my sister and I love you”. She wraps her arms around my waist “I love you too always and forever”.