Chapter 17 Jane
I wish I could of seen Gabe's reaction when he open the message. I've never send nudes to any one before but with Gabe is different. I know I can trust him. I feel bad for lying to him about having plans with my dad. When in reality I don't. My dad and uncle are out doing god knows what and aren't going to be back til later on today and Sammy is out with Raul. So that leaves me by myself giving me the perfect chance to snoop around. I brush my teeth and head downstairs to find Nina.
“Morning Butterfly” she greats me with her smile. I walk towards her and give her a hug “Morning Nina”. She gives me a kiss on my forehead as she hands me my bowl of fruits. I walk to the table with my back to her. “Hey Nina what did you guys do with all our stuff from back home?” I ask casually. I give her my back because I know she can tell when I'm lying. “We left a lot behind why?” I feel her eyes on me. Fuck! She knows I am up to something. I need to come up with some thing.
“Because I can't find some books I had” I answer. Everyone knows I love to read and that I have a collection of books, well had. “I think there are some boxes in the basement. I can go look for you if you like” she offers. Bingo! Now I have a place to start looking. “Thanks I got it. Can you believe I forgot their names” I shake my head as I fake laugh.
“Okay baby just don't spend all day down there” she smiles knowing that I have a bad memory. Thank god she can't see pass my lying. “I won't”. I finished my breakfast in record time. I run upstairs to grab my phone and IPod and run back downstairs to the basement.
Oh god I don't even know where to start. There are more than just a few boxes down here. Thank god that each boxes have the name of whom they belong to written on them or else I would be here all night and day. I find a box with my name and take out a few books. I don't even know what they are about but I take them out anyways just in case Nina walks in I can play it off. I don't know where to start should I go through my dad's stuff and see if I can find something on my mom or do I go through Nina's? I doubt I'll find anything on my mom I have search my dad's thing so many times before and never come up with anything. I might as well go through Nina's things. I am here to help her afterwards. I open her box and start searching through it. I feel bad for violating her privacy but it's for a good cause. I keep telling myself that to make myself feel better.
The first thing I find is a old photo album. I place it on top of my books I don't have time to go through it right now. I find a birth certificate. The certificate is for a Isabella Marie Torres. Her parents are Nina and Randy Torres. She was born January 2 1979 that would make her 36 years old. Her birthday was a few weeks ago. She is younger than what I thought she would be. Nina must of had her pretty young. Her birthplace was in New York. No way! Nina is from New York! How did she end up all the way in Las Vegas? I'm going to need this for later. I go through more papers and find a wedding and a death certificate. I add it to the pile of papers I've already have. I grab some more photos and head upstairs.
I lock my door behind me as I climb into bed and start searching through everything. The first picture inside the album is of a very young Nina in a wedding dress. Wow, Nina was stunning when she was younger. The wedding dress was one of them old fashion dress. I usually don't like them but this one looks amazing on her. She had long puffy brown hair that came down to her shoulder, her eyes shine so bright, a smile that can light up a whole room, and an hour glass figure. The man next to her was about 5'9, short dark hair, amber eyes, and he looks like he was around 18 when the picture was taken. He is drop dead handsome they made a perfect couple. Just by looking at the picture you can see how much loved they had for one another. I have never seen Nina's eyes sparkle like they are in this picture. I never seen her smile this way either. She has a heart stopping smile that can make anyone around her smile. His smile is even more contagious than hers if that is even possible. You can tell he is a very proud husband. My heart hurts just knowing how much love they had for one another and it breaks knowing that Nina lost it so young. I know what it feels like to lose the person you love and I can't imagine living so many years with that kind of pain. I barley survived 2 months yet a long a life time. I didn't even notice I was crying until a tear rolls down my face and onto the photo.
I turn the page and find more wedding photos. There is one of them at the alter, dancing, and shoving cake in their face. I can't help but to laugh at the last one. It seemed like they had a small wedding but I've never seen any one more happier than them. As I flip through the pages I find one of Nina with a swollen belly. She looks even more beautiful if that is even possible. Her skin is glowing as she smiles and rubs her growing belly. In every picture she comes out with her husband, he is always touching her belly it's like he can't stop touching her. They look so happy and excited for that baby. My heart starts hurting again. The next picture makes me laugh. She is holding up a cute little pink dress and he is holding a butcher knife. I guess that's when they found out they were having a girl. I flip through the pages until I find one of Nina holding a beautiful baby girl in her arms in a hospital gown. Nina isn't even paying attention to the camera her attention is on the baby. She looks at that baby like if she is her entire world. The baby is sucking on her little hand while Nina just watches her. Nina must have been around 18 when she had Bella. The next picture is of Randy holding the baby and he is looking at her the same way Nina had.
The next pictures are of Bella growing up. There is a picture of her on her first birthday all the way up until her 14 birthday. In each picture she is always standing in the middle of her parents with a smile that can reach the moon. She has the same smile as Nina and Randy combine together. The last picture is only of Bella and Nina it doesn't take a genius to figure out that her father was gone. Both of their eyes are full of sadness and their smiles are fake it actually looks like they are in pain by just smiling. I feel like some one just stab me in my heart with a kitchen knife just knowing that they lost some one important to them. I never met my mother but her absent hurts me every day. I can't imagine loosing my father. Yeah I'm mad at him but I would be devastated if anything would to happen to him.
I close the album with new sets of tears and tuck it under my bed. I'm taking it with me so when I find Bella I can show her how much she was loved. I don't know what happen between them but enough is enough. They both need each other I know how much a girl needs her mom. Bella needs to realize how lucky she is to have Nina as her mother. Bella is the last thing Nina has left of Randy. Maybe if I can get them together Nina will smile like she used to. I reach for the paper I bought up and start reading them.
Randy died in a car accident a few months before Bella turned 14. His car ran off the the highway and was found in a ditch. He died instantly. He was also born in New York. By the time I finished reading all the paper I knew everything I needed to know about Bella. My bed looked like a hurricane hit it. There are papers all over the place. I need to clean this mess up before Nina walks in. As I get off the bed a pink book that looks like a journal falls to the ground. I don't even remember bringing it up here. I bend down to pick it up. It looks more like a dairy than a journal. The cover of the book reads “My Princess first book”. It must be a dairy for Bella that Nina wrote in while she was pregnant. I refuse to read it. This belongs to Bella and only her. I hide everything under my bed for now. I'm taking all of it with me when I leave.
I need some thing to drink my throat feels dry of all the crying I did. “Did you find your books Butterfly?” Nina ask. I feel guilty for lying to her but it's for a good case. “Yeah I did” I grab a bottle of water and turn to face her. She is sitting at the table with her glasses and a crossword puzzle book in front of her. That's her favorite pass time. When I was younger I used to sit next to her and help her out. Which in reality I didn't. I would just point at random letters and she would pretend it was a word. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her “Thank you for everything you have done for me I really appreciate it. I love you”. She needs all the love she can get and I'm willing to give it to her. She pats my arm “I love you too Butterfly”. I give her a kiss on the cheek “Can I help?”. I want to spend some time with her. I feel guilty for pushing her away all this time. She pulls out the chair next to her “Of course”. I take the seat and join Nina. Two games later Nina and I are laughing and having fun talking about random things. This is the most time I've spend with her since I came back and I'm loving every second of it.
“Hey Nina what's for dinner?” Mark walks in putting a kill to my happiness. I roll my eyes at him “Nothing Nina isn't cooking”. I look over to Nina and shake my head before she can even say anything. No one is going to be home for dinner and I'll be damn if Nina cooks dinner for him. “Don't be silly I can whip some thing up really quick” Nina gives me a stop being mean look. I swear this lady can't say no when it comes down to cooking. “Don't worry Nina I can make some thing really quick” he says before I open my mouth again. “None of that come sit down and I'll make you a sandwich” Nina walks towards him. I bite down on the pen and concentrate on the puzzle in front of me instead of that thing in the room.
I hear the chair across from me being dragged against the floor but I never lift my head up. Maybe if I don't acknowledge him he'll leave. Let's see how long he can go with out talking to me. “You look adorable when you're concentrating on something” he says. Well that wasn't long enough it took him about 10 seconds to open his dumb stupid mouth. “You would look adorable if you stop breathing” I mumble. I hear Nina trying to hide her laughter with a cough “Enough fighting you two”. I'm just going to ignore him like I always do. “I don't want to fight Nina I just want to be her friend” he says to Nina. She walks over to hand him a sandwich “I'm sure when she is ready to be your friend again she'll let you know”. I almost bust out laughing there is no way I'm ever going to be his friend again and Nina knows that. “What do you think I should do to win her over?” he ask.
Die and be born in a different body I think to myself. “My dear boy you can't win her over she needs to come around by herself” she says. Nina and I both know that that's not going to happen. “I guess I don't stand a chance to win her heart” he has the nerves to sound upset. I lift my head up and glare at him ready to rip his throat out with this pen but for a quick second I actually feel bad for him. At one point in my life I did consider him as a friend and I did care for him. “Mark,” I wait for him to look at me to continue “Not you nor anyone else have a chance to win my heart over. My heart, soul, and body already belong to some one else the sooner you understand that the better it will be. Move on find some one better”. That's the best I can do for Mark, the one who used to be my friend. I stand to leave but he wraps his hand around my arm keeping me in place. I turn around ready to stab him in the eye with my pen for touching me “I'm sorry for everything” he quickly adds. I look into his eyes and for the first time since he has apologize I actually believe him
“I know but I still need time” I look at his hand around my wrist waiting for him to release me. He lets go of my arm and I walk away never looking back at him. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for shooting Gabe but I've already forgave him for everything else. I grab my phone and send Gabe a quick text letting him know how much I love him. I need to hear from him to know that everything is over. That I will never have to go a day without hearing his voice or a day without him texting me. Finding out Nina's love story has my heart aching for Gabe. I'm lucky to have him again in my life. I hate being away from him I think it's time for me to get my shit together and make a decision. My phone vibrates and I jump for it.
He Who Should Not Be Name: love you too naughty girl
I break into a smile as I read the message. If he thought that was naughty than he is going to think I'm filthy with what I am about to do.