Sixteen

Kel hands me a steaming hot cup of cocoa and kneels beside me on her couch.

"What happened?"

I sigh, turning to her. I try to reach inside and grasp onto my inner strength but, honestly, I’m not sure if I have anything left.

"I saw him. Jasmine was there. His ex."

She gasps, wiping my tears away. Her eyes are filled with compassion and especially with my broken heart, I’m thankful to have such a loving sister.

"Why was she there?"

"I don’t know. She was upset, I think. Gavin was holding her and then they kissed."

I take in a breath then slowly let it out, trying in vain to keep my tears at bay.

"Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. What happened next?"

I gaze up at her, shrugging my shoulders in response.

"You didn’t talk to him?"

I shake my head. What could he have possibly said to explain himself?

"I couldn’t. I knew she wanted him back. I just never thought she’d take him from me like this."

Then Kel pulls me into her arms and I let go. The tears come and my body shakes with sobs, unrelenting and uncontrollable sobs. The whole time, all I can ask myself is how could he do this to me? How could the man that I’ve been slowly falling for these past weeks do this to me?

Once I’ve seemed to cry myself dry, I occupy myself by practicing the moves for my showcase performance tomorrow. My heart feels empty after seeing that slut kissing Gavin, but I refuse to waste any more tears. After my body is pushed to its limit I sink down on the mats in the guest bedroom and take a sip of water. For the first time, I listen to the words of the song playing.

You hold me without touch,

You keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much.

To drown in your love,

And I’ll feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be

I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I’m supposed to be.

I remember the very moment I saw Gavin he took my breath away. Even with how badly I want to hate him, I can’t, because I love him. How can it all just be in the past? I can’t bring myself to believe that.

"Come on, Ari. You need some rest before the showcase tomorrow."

Kel shuts off the music and rests her hands on her hips.

"Okay, I’ll try. No promises, though."

I get up and she hugs me tight, and then closes the door behind her as she leaves.

I crawl into the full-size bed, curling into a ball on my side and closing my eyes, willing sleep to find me. I yearn to feel Gavin's strong arms around me from behind, his chin resting against my shoulder as it always does as we fall asleep together. To hear him whisper "Sleep, baby" just before my eyes drift closed. And it’s with thoughts of his sweet murmurs and love-filled eyes that I find sleep.

***

Gavin

away from me. From the pain I'd unknowingly caused her tonight. From the moment I opened my office door and saw Jasmine of all people huddled on the sectional, I knew I should have kicked her out, left her there, done something other than try to help. But goddamn it, if I'd done that, if I'd turned Jasmine away and been the heartless son of a bitch I used to be after she broke my heart all those years ago, I wouldn't deserve a girl like my Aria. My Beautiful. Then, she'd walked in at the worst possible time. I had my arms locked around Jasmine. Trying to comfort her, to somehow make her stop feeling so badly. When she told me her father cut her off financially I knew exactly how she was feeling. It was exactly how I had felt years ago. My dad and I had our problems, and when he'd cut me off from the money I was so used to, it was a shock. But eventually, it helped me.

I saw the hurt, the anger, and the doubts flitting out from Aria's guarded emerald green eyes. Could almost feel her withdrawing from me, could feel how her heart broke the moment she saw me holding her. Shit. I pulled both hands through my hair, clenching my fists. God, I was about to lose everything I'd ever wanted, I needed to fight for her. For Aria. If she would just answer her goddamn phone. I groaned aloud when I heard her soft voice in her voice-mail message. Again. If she would just listen, give me one chance to explain I could make this right. I had to make this right. Losing Aria was not an option. Christ, I couldn’t even fathom living without her.

"Aria. I need to talk to you. Please. I love you more than anything and I promise you, I would never cheat on you. But since you won’t answer your phone, I have to explain. Jasmine showed up at my office around 6:30, she was upset…" My voice cracks with the thick emotion crawling up my throat. I rest my head against the steering wheel and surrender to the heavy weight spreading through my chest.

"I swear to you, it’s not what you think. She was barely holding herself together. Her father cut her off last week and she was a mess. I felt bad, knowing how she was feeling. When I was 16 years old, my dad temporarily cut me off when I was getting into some trouble with my friends at the time. I felt so angry, and betrayed, and hopeless. I hugged Jasmine, told her everything would be okay, that she could make her own money with her modeling and that it wasn't as bad as she thought. She started crying, Aria I promise you I don't feel anything for her. She kissed me, I had no idea she was going to do that. I pushed her off of me in the next second and then I saw you. Baby please believe me, I love you and I only want you. Call me..."

When I begrudgingly press end call on my phone, tears are welling in my eyes and they blur my vision.

Pushing my car's door open, I walk across the way towards the apartment building where my Beautiful girl lives with her sister. I climb up the steps to her door and pause to pull my left hand through my hair before knocking three times. Please let her be here. Let her give me a chance to explain. And I'm immediately disappointed when Luke pulls open the door. A smug grin spreads his face.

"Man you look like shit" I push his shoulder back and focus my eyes on the closed door to Aria's bedroom in the hallway not even ten feet behind him.

"Asleep now, I think. But Gavin, you need to give her time. She's hurting right now."

God. I already knew this but having it said aloud caused the pit in my stomach to go deeper.

"Luke I -" I'm interrupted when Kaelyn slips out of the bedroom, her hand turning the knob closed once more. Her blonde hair is pulled into a bun and when she comes to stand beside Luke, I can see the tracks of tears staining her face. Fuck, I have to make this right. I have to.

"You both have to know-" my voice cracks, betraying me.

"I would rather die than hurt that girl in there. She's my world. I love her, Kel."

Her smile is wavering with emotion and when she looks up to Luke, nodding her head, he steps back and allows me to pass. I just need to see her. My Aria.

"Gavin?" Its Kaelyn’s voice. I turn around, my hand closing around Aria's doorknob.

"Don't wake her, okay? It took a lot to get her to sleep, and her showcase is tomorrow"

I nod, hating that I can't make this right between us tonight. But I'll take her anyway I can get her, even if only for a few minutes. Luke takes Kel into the living room and the minute I'm alone I push open the bedroom door ever so slowly, not wanting to wake her.

"Mhmm" she moans in her sleep, making my heart beat just a little faster at the sound. Her black hair is splayed on her pillows, her face void of makeup. Christ, she's so goddamn beautiful.

As I watch her sleep - her chest rising and falling with each breath she takes, her lips softened in sleep, I know I’m completely gone over her. Losing her would break me, rip me apart. How could I ever survive that? How could she?

***

Aria

I’m forced awake by my residual panic and I suck in precious air. God, I must have had a nightmare. I hastily look at the clock, worried I’ve overslept. The bedside radio reads ten-thirteen in the morning. I take a deep breath, remembering Gavin’s soothing words the night he found me here having a nightmare. Breathe, Aria. Just breathe.

"You up, honey?" Kel calls from the kitchen. I get up and begin making my bed in an effort to get my mind off the dream. He left me.

"Yeah, I’m awake," I call. I hear her talking to someone on the phone.

"I know, I’ll try, but she’s hurting right now. Gavin, she needs time. Okay, will do. Bye. "

Gavin called her? Why? I finish with my bed and grab my iPhone on the desk across the room.

When I wake the screen, I see twelve missed calls, six text messages, and three voice mails, all from Gavin.

My hand shakes as I contemplate listening to them. No. I’ll surely fall apart hearing his voice right now.

She’s right. I do need time to think, and to mend my heart if that’s possible. I turn off my phone and get dressed in brown yoga pants and a white button-down shirt that fits me well. Leaving a few buttons undone, I slip my phone and car keys into my purse and go into the bathroom to fix my messy hair.

"Yeah. Can you grab my dance bag? It should be on the bed."

"Sure thing."

He hooks it over his shoulder then places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently.

"How are you doing?"

I shrug as he hugs me to his side and we head to the car.

Focus, Aria, you can do this, I tell myself, willing not to cry about Gavin anymore. I have to be strong, if only for a few hours.

***

 Only hours later, I sit with Kel and her fingers thread through my hair as she combs the black curls down my back, securing each one with a bobby pin.

"Ouch!" I yelp as one digs harshly into my scalp. Kel laughs nervously and releases the pin quickly, letting the curl fall from her fingers.

"Sorry, sweetie. You okay?"

I try to laugh, my heart seizing in my chest painfully as I keep seeing the same painful image in my mind. Gavin kissing Jasmine. His ex. The woman he almost married.

"Sure, no worries."

Gavin’s mouth, the one that’s adored me and pleasured me in the best ways, locked on another woman’s lips. It’s still so fresh in my mind.

"I really think you should call him, Aria. He sounded so panicked when he called me. Just...hear him out."

I hastily shake my head, closing my eyes as I feel tears build in my eyes. I don’t want to do this. I don’t even want to think about what I saw last night. Will my heart ever heal from seeing him kiss another woman? I don’t think so.

"I can’t."

I really hope she won’t push the topic because I’m honestly not ready to hear Gavin’s voice or see his face or feel his presence anytime soon. It would just be too much for me.

Before she can say anything, my iPhone rings a melody while lying on the vanity in front of us and we both look at it. Oh, holy crap. Could that be him?

"Hello?" I don’t recognize the number but then I hear Callie’s voice.

"Hi, Aria?"

She hiccups. I can hear her crying and voices in the background. Oh, no. Deep inside me, my heart stops as fear takes hold.

"What’s happened, sweetheart? Are you okay?"

She sniffs and after a moment, I think she’s calmed down.

"Something...well…"

There’s a rustling noise and my hands shake, remembering that call I got when Jeremy got hurt. It was the most terrifying moment of my life.

"Hi, it’s Jaden. I was here when we got the call. Gavin’s car…He's been in an accident."

Oh, God. All the air leaves my lungs and I struggle to find words. Gavin?

"You’re at Mercy West?" I choke out.

"Yes, Wing C in Emergency. Hurry."

I drop the phone to my lap and suck in a breath, my body strangled with a sob. My skin feels like ice and my heart drops into my stomach. I lost Jeremy and it all began with a phone call.

God, no. It’s happening all over again.