Guaranteed: How To Get Women by Michele B. - HTML preview

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Chapter 2

A Lack Of Confidence Got You Down?

 

For 80 percent of men, the largest problem they face in meeting women is not the way that they look, the money that they have or the lack of a cheesy pick up line. It is a lack of confidence. Confidence gives you the ability to make that first move. It also exudes from you which mean that a woman is attracted to it.

Confidence alone is one of the most desirable methods for attracting women. A confident man is likely to meet many more women. Are you confident, then?

A confident man is realized in the way that he interacts with people, in the way that he presents himself as well as in his ability to portray himself as a masculine but genuine man.

How can you be a confident man? There are several key things that you should attempt to learn and fold into the process.

  • Determine what your fear is.
  • Fear is a powerful emotion that’s limiting you.
  • Overcome your fear by forcing yourself to do whatever it is.
  • By overcoming your fear, you actually gain confidence that is irreplaceable.

To take this simply designed plan into account, you will gain confidence through conquering a fear. It does not have to be the fear of talking to a woman, either. Start out by determining a fear that is easier for you to conquer.

No matter what fear you tackle, the goal is simple. Give yourself a foundation of confidence, even a weak one at first. By conquering some fear that you have, you can build upon this small amount of confidence and later tackle a larger fear.

Once you have overcome some small fear, next, test the waters by conquering your fear of talking to women. The first time you head out to do this, give yourself some rehearsal. Plan what you will say, even rehearse the lines beforehand if it offers a bit of help to you.

Next, approach a girl, but pick one that you are more comfortable with rather than the one girl that you really want to talk to. Approach her and simple say, “Hi, I’m Adam. How are you?” This simple approach will give you a huge boost in the confidence department. Even if she doesn’t talk to you, you got the words out. Try to work up to a level where you are really talking to someone and the conversation is going well.

Once you get the conversation to a good, positive point, excuse yourself. Leave on a high note. If you aren’t attracted to her, there’s no need to worry about asking for a phone number.

Since you left on a high note, you are now more prepared than ever to talk with the girl that you’ve been too worried to talk to. You have more confidence and feel better about it simply because you have overcome this fear. You forced yourself to talk to a girl and now you feel amazingly confident and can make your next move.

You may be thinking to yourself, “I just can’t do it.” The fact is that most men go through this. They feel like they can’t take that first step. Yet, you have to make a decision here. Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone or will you get over your fear and simply walk up and start talking to her?

If you do it, if you say, “Forget this, I’m doing it” you’ll overcome your fear, gain confidence and all of the anxiety that goes with the fear will be gone, just like that.

When you push yourself to that moment when you are very close to turning around and saying forget it, you gain benefits ultimately. You gain the benefit of confidence.

Once you get through your first fear conquering step, take a step back and ask yourself a few questions. For example, do you feel that you were successful in talking to her? What could you have done differently? Perhaps you did all that you need to and now you feel good about the whole situation?

Step back, analyze and make changes as necessary. Then, approach another girl and start the process over. Don’t wait too long between talking to one girl and talking to the next, as this lowers your confidence level again. Just like after a big game that’s one, the team is better prepared to win the following game when momentum is high. Take advantage of this.

Do You Have Enough Confidence?

Remember that we revealed that men not only need confidence for themselves, but also because they need to attract women to them with confidence. A woman is attracted to a man that is confident. You have to ask yourself if you feel that you are confident enough to exude it and therefore attract women.

One way to know how confident you are is by listening to what the women you meet say about you. A confident man is someone that is alluring, but with a cunning charm. For example, a man that has a woman guessing what he will do next is one that is attracting her. Has a woman ever said to you that they “aren’t sure what you will do next?” This is a great sign that you are confident in your actions.

How else can you be confident with women? Here are a few more tips to keep in mind:

  • Confidence is defined by the way that you interact with women. Do you approach them directly, without coming from behind or approaching them shyly?
  • Do you speak them in strong, positive words in a clear voice? Does your voice shake when you speak? Do you feel confident when you are speaking to them?
  • Do you make eye contact while you are speaking to her? Looking at your glass or looking at everything around you is not only a distraction to you, but it shows her that you aren’t interested in her. Eye contact is very attractive and often appealing to a woman.

In later sections, we will reveal ways that you can learn to say and do the right things in an effort to actually exude confidence.

Strategies For Confidence

Being confident allows you to have the courage to talk to women. Being confident attracts women to you. Therefore, you must incorporate this into your skill and your approach if you are to improve.

To help you, we have broken down several key aspects that you can do today to improve your level of confidence and therefore get the girl.

Practice Your Skill

Although it is hard to get your foot in the door and get started with asking girls out and even just talking to them, it’s the best way for you to actually improve your skill. Practice makes perfect which also means that the first few times that you talk to a girl, you are likely to fall flat on your face. That’s a learning experience and each time will get easier.

You should talk to several women, not the same one over and over again. If you wanted to learn how to ski, you would have to get out there on the slopes several times. The same methodology is effective here. Practice!

Realize You Are Worth It

Far too many men don’t realize that they are a good choice for a woman. Give yourself credit, you are worth dating! If you are someone that’s too hard on them, you’re letting yourself down in the end. Instead, what you need is to be positive and motivated.

If you aren’t sure what makes you a good mate, its time to define that. List all of your good points. Keep in mind how important it is for you to realize that women should be flocking to you. In fact, once you learn why you are so valuable to women, they will be even more attracted to you because of this increased confidence. A man that is confident in what they can offer to a woman is one that will attract them.

Look Under Her Skin

Are you a man that gets a little shaky when he sees a beautiful woman? You think to yourself that she’s too good for you. No way will a woman like that be with you. This is one of the largest mistakes a man can make. A 10 on the attractive scale is only skin deep. The fact is that you really don’t know what her flaws are.

As a man, you need to realize that even the most beautiful of women have flaws and other drawbacks that may even keep you away from them.

Therefore, don’t put so much pressure on yourself. She has flaws, too. Allow yourself to rest assured that she’s not perfect as you are not. You do deserve to talk with this woman just like any other. That’s your goal: treat them no different than the average looking woman.

Date Multiple Women

Once you get married or find that great girl that you really enjoy spending time with, that’s when you can begin to worry about dating just one girl at a time.

While that may shock some of you, the reason for this is simple. A man gains confidence when he realizes that he has more than one girl to be with.

Here’s the situation. If you meet Jane and think she’s okay, what happens when you no longer find her interesting? You may even stay with her because you would rather not be alone.

One the other hand, if you meet Jane, Annie, and Jessica, if you get to the point of being bored with Jane, you are more likely to let her go because you still have Annie and Jessica to call. What’s more, you are also gaining quite a bit of confidence knowing that there’s someone else out there that’s interested in you, too.

Keep It Going

Let’s say that you find a bit of confidence and start talking to several women. You are just approaching them and asking if they would like a drink. It’s worked for you as you have talked to several girls and gotten their phone numbers.

When something starts to work for you, whatever that is keeps it going. Make sure to keep up the good things that are you doing. Perhaps it is just the location that’s working for you. Maybe you are meeting people at a new club because of the unique atmosphere. Keep it up.

What’s working for you is worth keeping up as long as it doesn’t become tired and boring for you.

In the process, you will also gain confidence because you are seeing results. The most important consideration here is the fact that you are gaining confidence in such a way that it is allowing you to try new things, too.

Keep up what you are doing and add in something new to test the waters as you go.

Keep Working On Fears

As we revealed, working through the fears that you have can really improve the confidence level that you have. Whatever your fear is with women, overcoming them is a key part of actually improving your confidence level. You may not feel that you can talk to a woman. You may feel that you can’t ask her for her phone number. Perhaps just approaching the woman is more than you can handle.

In any of these situations, you need to overcome your fear which means forcing yourself to do it.

Whatever your fears are, confront them. Force yourself to do what that fear is so that you gain experience with it and can then overcome it. Pick up the phone. Walk over to her. Or, just say, hi.

As you force yourself to confront these situations, you will ultimately improve your skill and reduce the fear. Stewing over it will only make them that much worse, though. You will improve your self esteem and of course your confidence by forcing this to happen.

Remember To Enjoy Yourself

Dating and getting to know new people is supposed to be fun. How can you have fun when you can’t stop worrying and fretting over what’s going to happen next? The fact is that you need to let yourself have fun and stop the grief.

One problem with worrying and feeling nervous is that the more you feel like this, the more likely it is that she knows that you are feeling it. This makes you less attractive too.

How can you have fun in such a stressful environment? Make jokes and talk about things that you enjoy. Relax by going places that you find to be enjoyable and fun, rather than formal settings. Realize that you are just talking to another person, not the President. The more laid back and natural you can be, the more enjoyable the entire experience will be for you, too.

Of course, it is also beneficial to do things that she finds enjoyable as well. Catering to her experience is one of the key elements to impressing her. But, for now, you need to concentrate on the confidence you’ll gain by having fun and lightening up the mood.

Make The Date Your Date

There are several key things you need to do here. First, make sure you are the lead player in the dating game. This means making sure that you know what is going to happen, as you have planned it out to be such.

You shouldn’t have to ask the girl what she wants to do when she gets in the car. Have this planned for her so that you can gain the confidence that it brings to you. Leaders are likely to be much more confident.

Next, never do things that you consider are wrong or compromise your value system. A man that defines who he is by his values is a man that is confident and well respected especially by the lady at his side.

If that means stopping to help a stranger even though it interferes with your date, do so. If you don’t like the atmosphere of a club, then ask if you can try a different location. By doing something about it, you keep your values high, keeping your confidence high.

You will also impress her with your ability to make decisions about the situations that you find yourself in. Not only this by a guy that can take charge of the date as if he’s spent all day planning it, is one that’s confident and attractive to virtually any woman.

Be You, Improved

Take a step in front of the mirror and look at yourself. What is it that you see? Is it a confident man? Stand up straight, broaden your shoulders. Put your chin up and look yourself dead in the eye. Are you confident?

The way that you look is a key element in the confidence that you put out. It also is a key element in the way that you see yourself.

You need to provide the right confident appearance, though, to make this happen for yourself. Here are some quick tips to use:

  • Dress with clean clothing that is free from holes, stains and other less than desirable markings.
  • Keep yourself well groomed. If you cut your hair, keep it trimmed. If you shave, stay clean shaven. Being well groomed has no limit to your tastes and your look, but she can tell that you put some thought into it.
  • Smell good. While you don’t have to wear cologne, you should smell clean. This instead shows a lady that you care about the appearance you present.
  • Take time to look good for an important date, but remain true to who you are.

In turn, you should also remember, to speak clearly and slowly. Keep your eyes on her eyes. Walk confidently, too.

Stand up straight. They seem simple and you may not think about them, but that’s the whole point: thinking about them shows how confident in whom you are.

When you do these things, you’ll find yourself more confident to approach a woman because you know you look good to her. What’s more, she’ll look at you, size you up as a man that cares about himself and will be attracted to you.

Sum It Up

Confidence is an essential part of the project of attracting women. Not only do you need the right confidence level to approach her and to date her, but you also need her to see that you are confident.

Any woman is able to tell how confident a man is when he walks up to her. Every women is willing to give a man a chance that shows that he’s confident in who he is. No matter who you are, you deserve to be confident in the person that you are. In that, there is no reason that you should walk up to a woman without all of the confidence that you need to impress her.

Implement these changes into your lifestyle today. Force yourself to face your fears and transform yourself into a confident man. Each of these things is easily implemented into your life, too. Confidence is a key factor not to be forgotten about.

Ultimately, it will be one of the key elements in defining how successful you are with women.