You’ve made a major step in the process of improving your relationship with her. Flirting is a powerful tool that you can easily use to your advantage.
Now that you’ve mastered it (don’t forget that you’ll need practice here to make it effective for you) its time to concentrate on asking her out and really getting her to want to know you.
The key to getting from a friendly flirt into a conversation that will lead to her wanting to get to know you is by knowing how to develop and start that conversation. Most men feel that they aren’t good at talking. But, you may have the ability tot start a conversation without realizing how easy it can be.
Don’t be too worried yet about how to make this happen. Many men freeze up with the thought of having to talk about something. Don’t worry, we aren’t asking life and death (or political) questions; just methods to get the conversation moving.
If you don’t feel that you can start a conversation, you need to go back a couple of chapters and realize the importance of dealing with fears. You can do this, you will do it and you will be confident when you do it.
These tips will help you to overcome the fears that you have and help you to inspire yourself to keep the conversations happening.
As someone that hasn’t had a lot of experience with dating or approaching women, you want to start with just saying hi to the lady you are interested in. No matter if you have had time to get to know her or not, you need to be straight forward about this in a situation in which you don’t have time to get to know her.
When you are new to meeting women, the first and most effective approach is to simply walk up to her and say, “Hi. I’m Dave. How are you doing?” As corny as it sounds, it is one of the most effective lines you can use to get a conversation going.
Yet, this method really is only effective when it is done for the beginner. And, it will limit you. Instead, use this very simple hello method until you have gained enough confidence to do something more. In some cases, you may be put on the spot to keep the conversation going. For that reason, consider some other methods that may help you.
When you are more confident, you can do a bit more than this. Perhaps there are two girls sitting at a table and you would like to introduce yourself. What could you say that would start a conversation? Here are some ideas.
While these are “lines” they shouldn’t just be used. You should look at them as examples, as ways to help you to think about the right words to use to attract the girl that you are interested in. Perhaps one of these methods would work for you.
The goal here is not to memorize lines for every situation, but to learn how to develop those lines.
Every girl that has been to a bar knows that most guys are going to have some cheesy line and that they are likely to be just the same old guy. In fact, some girls will talk to several guys in one night, which means that only those that stand out will get her attention.
What can you do to show off how unique you are? Let’s assume that you have walked up to a girl and introduced yourself. The conversation goes flat…what else is there to say? Why not talk about something strange and unique?
For example, perhaps you can ask her what her dream job would be. Ask her where she would visit if she could go anywhere.
Once you have asked a question like this, you can then keep it going in a variety of different directions. Make sure to insert your opinion too. What’s more you can add humor into these conversations (the more unique they are the better) and really have her enjoying herself.
She will enjoy these topics because they are different from everyone else. And, she will enjoy them because you are keeping the conversation going, just as a leader should be doing. Try to stay on positive safe subjects so that you don’t insult her in some way.
Men can easily make the mistake of falling for the “where do you work” line. That is, they are running out of things to say and they reach for something that’s even more dull and boring. You can talk about anything with a girl that’s new to you, as long as it is positive and not raunchy.
Whenever you can, try to stay away from these types of questions. They can simply lead to a dead road and show that you are just like everyone else.
Instead of delving into a world of real life situations, talk about light and open topics. Asking her about where she would like to spend her vacation is an open and light subject. Asking her how many vacation days she has, will limit the conversation to boring and dull work or school, which won’t interest her.
What’s more is the fact that you want to leave her on a high note so that she still wants to experience more from you. This means that she’s interested in learning more about you by wanting to give you her phone number.
Again, we won’t give you lines here, because its important for you to learn to come up with you own methods for closing a conversation with a new lady.
After you have talked to her, and you can sense that you are running out of things to say, excuse yourself. You can simply tell her that you have to go attend to something. The hard part is getting her number.
As the conversation is winding down, simple tell her that you would love to keep talking to her. Did she enjoy talking with you? If so, then ask her if you could give her a call later and you could talk a bit more.
You can not be weak here. For example, don’t say, “Call me sometime.” Instead, say, “Can I give you a call tomorrow evening?” Don’t say, “Maybe we can hang out some time.” Instead say, “I have tickets to a comedy club next week. Would you like to go?”
Even with just barely knowing her, you can sense that she’s interested in you here. What’s more, she’s likely to be willing to commit to you because of how confident you are with her. You don’t have to ask her out at this point, though. What you do have to do, is get her number.
Simply ask her if you can call her. If she says yes, she’ll give you her number. If she says no, say something about calling you if she changes her mind. NO matter what she says, be polite and upbeat while saying your goodbyes. Thank her for talking to you and compliment her in some way while you do it.
You got the phone number. You gave her your phone number. Are you sitting by the phone waiting for her to call you? That’s a big mistake. No woman wants to have to call a guy to see him again. She wants him to come to her and that’s exactly what you should do.
If you did as instructed, she’s already expecting you to call her at the time that you left with her. Perhaps you said you would call her tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, call her. Don’t avoid it because you want to seem arrogant. If you said you would, do it.
If you didn’t give a time that you would call, wait a day and give her a call. A simple conversation can lead into something much more over the phone this second time around. You can now talk about many other things including those boring topics that are necessary to get to know her.
What if she’s not available? If the first item you call she’s not available, then leave a message. “I really enjoyed talking to you last night. It made my day, actually. I just wanted to say hello. I’ll try to give you a call again tomorrow or you can call me, if you like.”
One more call is all she gets, though. You don’t want to seem desperate at all when talking with a woman. If she does call you, by all means talk to her. Don’t let it slide for the next time as chances are slim to none that she’ll call you back.
Never wait until she calls you. It won’t happen. Always call her. A woman wants to be pursued. She doesn’t want to pursue you! Make it happen for yourself rather than waiting.
Starting a conversation is a simple process when you approach it in the right manner. Don’t assume that you can just wait for someone to come to you. Flirt with her and then talk to her. Get over your fear and build confidence. In turn, attract more women than you ever have. Its that simple.