Chapter 20
“Chris… I need… I want to tell you something. I don't really know why I need to tell you so bad but I feel like if I don't… we can't be 'good friends' as you said” I said half laughing, half still crying.
“You can tell me anything you want” He said pulling me to the metal bench that was hidden under a flowered arch.
“I'm not trying to make you believe me over my family or… even Jess but I do need you to know… what really happened. I don't want you thinking…” I tried to say before Chris held my hand tightly and said.
“I would never think badly of you and I know you never would wish to speak ill of anyone unless you had to and if you want to tell me what happened I'll listen”
He pulled his hand and wiped a tear away from my face and then rubbing my cheek a little.
He had no idea what he was doing to me. He pulled away and looked straight into my eyes.
“Go on” he said softly. I took in a large breath and tried to calm down; this was going to me a long story.
“It’s weird, I've never felt like I fit in with my family. Never. Not even when I was a child. Well instead of Granddad of course but the rest of my family never notice me, never showed any kind of love or kindness.
My grandfather had two sons, my Dad James and Uncle Peter. Uncle Peter and Aunt Ava also had two sons Joseph and Alex, my cousins. Alex was the same age as Jess and they were very close at school and then at University. They’re both so similar, they’re popular, beautiful, and rich and they both know it.
They've always teased me, when I was younger and to even now. At one point it was their favourite game, I think it still is. They are both seven years older than me; they make me feel like I was small and worthless child, and they once locked me in the garden shed all night and no one found me to the next day.
It was Joseph that found me actually. He was never that bad, he was more of a loner than anything else. He had his own life, his own friends, he didn't care much for the family but the family loved him and always craved for his attention. It's funny to say but its true everyone always thought him the cool one. I think that's why Alex was always the way he is, he always wanted what somebody else had.
He wanted to be loved and respected, wanted by everyone and above all powerful like his brother, all the things in my eyes he wasn't and I knew that that annoyed him above all. He hated me, as a child, he used to hit me and pull my hair; he always went out of his way to embarrass me and make me feel uncomfortable.
It was when I turned sixteen when he started acting... weird around me. He just finished University and hadn't seen me in so long, he kept making comments like; you look so grown up, I bet all the boys want a pitch of you, I know I do. He only said them things to make fun of me, making me look like a joke.
It was two years later, at Joes wedding to Jaz that I thought he was going too far. In front of all his friends one time he slapped my bum and pulled me to sit on his lap. He wouldn't let me go and I didn't want to make a scene in front of all his jerk friends and the other guest so I waited for him to let go...
I hated him he made me feel sick and over time scared. Scared of seeing him and being alone with him but by just being in the room with him... he always has his evil eyes on me and I just feel like a worthless child again”
“You don't have to say anymore” Chris said rubbing his hand against my cheek drawing me closer. I didn't mean to tell him all that, I had only meant to tell him about the night I left.
“No... No, I need to tell you... I need you to know what happened” I said without being able to control the tears that fell down my face.
“Ok, ok tell me... ssh Lea I'm here” His warm soft words made me feel safe, knowing that he 'was here' listening to me and hearing what I have to say. I looked into his face and saw him smiling at me.
“It was the day I got my results for my A levels and I didn't do that well... meaning I failed all the subjects my Dad wanted me to take. He said they would help me in life, other than music and art but I won't be the daughter I was if I did what he said. I took Music and Art as well as three other subjects he wished for me, Geography & History, Law & Politics and Mathematics & Economics and I failed every one of them. Well not Music and Art. I told my Dad I would never be able to do them and I never felt bad going to the classes not having any idea what they were talking about and it was having that bit of paper right in front of you, it's a little different.
Telling my Mum and Dad of my failed results was a hard thing to do and they didn't even say anything. Dad took one look and left the room. Mum just made herself another cocktail. I was just standing there for near an hour waiting for my Mum to say something. Some salt of comforting words that would have made me feel better.
After seeing my Granddad and Nan I needed to chill out, I wanted to forget all about the results and my parents. So I went to a party...
Five Years Ago
I jumped back into my car after coming out of Granddads and pulled my phone out to phone Kim. My best friend all through school.
'HELLO?!' she shouted at the other end
'KIM IT'S LEAH! Where are you?'
'LEAH!! WHERE AM I? WHERE ARE YOU? YOUR MISSING OUT ON THE PARTYING' she shouted to me on the phone.
Kim loved her party's and drinking. She was always out with the girls partying the night away, instead of me being the trusty driver. I didn't drink that much, I was always a light-weight, few drinks and I'm gone. Not saying I didn't enjoy it, I just think I go a little... too crazy. I'm always better if I don't drink.
But not tonight!
Tonight I want to forget about my Mum and Dad.
'Where's the party?' I ask
'WHAT?' she can't hear me
'WHERES THE PARTY KIM?' I shout back at her so she can hear me better.
'OH, IT'S AT CHARLIE'S BROTHERS HOUSE. YOU COMING?'
'YER I'LL BE THERE'
'WOW! AWESOME! I'LL TEXT YOU THE ADDRESS, BABE CAN'T WAIT TO YOU GET HERE' she said then hanging up.
I got to the party at near eleven and there were so many people here. Some from are school and some much older. I walk through the house which is like a pent house it's so big and then got to the kitchen with all the alcohol. Bingo!
After half a bottle of vodka I stopped caring about what had happened today. What will be will be?
And what should be right now is another drink. I stumble of the dance floor leaving my friends and made my way to the kitchen again.
'LEAH!' I hear someone shouting behind me. I turn around to see Kim running towards me, she is so drunk! But hell so am I. I met her half way and hug her.
'How did you do? On your grades' I asked
'Yer good, got... ahh four As and two Bs' She said taking a drink of a bottle of vodka 'You?' she asks.
In reply to her question I grad the bottle from her hands and drink some
'That bad ah?' she laughed
'Oh you have no idea' I said as a load of guys came into the kitchen, one picking Kim up in a fireman's carry and there goes Kim.
The night was going great before my cousin Alex and his stupid friends had turned up. They were all spoiled little rich boys who thought they were god's gift. Alex was there leader. Top dog, he likes to think. I hated that I was related to him. I kept out of his way the whole night to avoid him but I was never that lucky.
'Why if it isn't my little cousin'
'And how's little Alex' I said making all the girls started giggling. Before he could start talking to me again I slipped away from the group and went to find my friends.
A couple of hours later, I hadn't since Alex atoll, he must have gone home, thank god.
I went upstairs to use the toilet when I see Alex in the way of the door. My heart went to my throat.
'What do you want Alex?' I managed to say as confidently as I could.
'You' he said
'Very funny, now move' I said but he didn't move a bit.
'I'm not joking Leah. I want you and you more than anyone know I get what I want'
'I'm your cousin you pervert'
Alex's hand came across my face so hard I fell to the floor. The pain from my cheek and head hitting the hard floor hurt so much.
Everything happened next so fast. He was pulling me into one of the bedrooms, with me trying to kick and scream under his hands. He laid me on the bed pushing me hard into the mattress, he was over powering me and I remember being so scared. I didn't know what to do. He tried to kiss me but I hit him in the face and then brought my knee up to his balls.
Hearing a girly scream come from Alex's mouth I run from the room and run out the house and I just kept running until I was out of breath.
“When I got home the next morning I thought everyone would be asleep but all the lights where on in the main dining room. I went inside and saw my Mum, Dad, uncle peter and Aunt Ava and Alex there with his red eye from where I hit him. He told everyone that I... that...that” I could speak anymore with the tears but I notice that I didn't need to as Chris pulled me into his arms.
“You don't need to tell me anymore, I know... I know” he said rocking me back and forth. “I would never, NEVER! Let anything happen to you like that ok. I'll protect you”
“Why are you all a sudden caring and protecting me?”
“Because... we're friends and I care about my friends”
“So you believe me? You don't believe it was my fault?” I asked into his chest as he pulled his arms tighter around my back.
“Of course I believe you, I wouldn't I believe you. And this… all of what happened was NOT your fault! Do you understand me” Chris pulled my shoulders pull so we were move looking at each other.
His eyes were on my lips and I truly thought he was going to kiss me. My heart was flipping over and over and I couldn't stop it. I could feel all the blood swimming to my face, getting redder and redder but I didn't care. Just being here with his arms around me and him looking at him like he would do anything for me… but then the same horror of thought came into my mind.
“What about Jess?” I asked
“What...” He said
“Won't she be angry? You and me being friends”
There was a long silence as Chris pulled away and moved to the other end of the bench. He moved his hands so he was rubbing his chin, deep in thought.
“She will be angry” He said seriously. I guess that was it, everyone always cared about keeping Jess happy and to be honest I don't blame Chris. Having Jess in an angry mood is like the end of the world.
“Oh” was all I could say. Chris got up from the bench, straightens himself out and then pulled his hand towards me. I just stared at it confused.
Chris smiled and said “She's just going to have to get over it”
I looked up at him and smiled, with my heart going crazy again. This guy was going to give me a heart attack. I look at his large strong hand and took it with my own.
“I guess she will”