Oh, darling…
A pathetic glimpse... Look at yourself... Fuck! Get out of my head, Ryan! I tried so hard to shut his voice out of my head, but it felt like it was engraved in my brain. I was honestly sick to my guts, realizing he was right. And he never was right!
Finally I had managed my way back to the master suite and was glad I had some solitary confinement to myself. I needed to figure this thing out. Or even better! I had to write a song about it. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
I got up from the bed and snatched one of our posters we had to sign at the meet and greets and turned it around, before getting a sharpie. It was obvious I was no writer since I don’t even have a pen, for christ sake!
Okay... How do you write a song? How do I write my solo’s? By just playing along with whatever the band had came up with, doh... Man, this blows! I’m an artist and I don’t even know how to write a song? Really? Okay, Meg, get your head out of your ass and let’s get to work.
Let’s think... What am I even writing about? Ryan? Yeah, right... Okay, so it’s about me. Good, we’ve got this far so we can’t stop now, right? A song about me... I just hoped ten years from now I won’t suck at creating music... That’s it!
Ten years from now...
Okay, I think that turned out quite well until someone came knocking on the door.
"Leave me the fuck alone! I’m working!" I shouted, not even caring who was there. God... these people.
Ten years from now... The bus took a sharp turn, bringing that cheeseburger nearly out of my system. Whoa, that’s an idea! Ten years from now, when I turn around... will I be satisfied, when I look back on life... The song’s clearly about me looking over my puked cheeseburger in the toilet bowl.
Okay, brain, spit out some deep, meaningful and artistic bullshit... I tapped the sharpie against the poster, creating the rhythm for the song, before starting to bang my head along. One, two, three, one, two, three...
My phone started roaring the lyrics for Asking Alexandria – To the stage, before I subconsciously threw it across the room. Oh fuck, not again, don’t tell me I threw it away again... Oh- idea!
Don’t tell me it’s too late,
Don’t tell me I threw it all away,
Don’t tell me I did this all in vain,
I have my reasons,
Why I walk this lonely road,
And I never return,
Was it worth the life to sacrifice,
Ten years from now...
Perfect! Thank you cheeseburger inspiration!
"Meg!" I couldn’t tell to whom that voice belonged, ‘cause it faded over the dreadful banging on the door. I sighed heavily as I got out of the bed and walked up to the door, unlocking it.
"What the hell’s your problem, dude?" I asked even before I saw who it was hovering above me. A paper white Christopher Achilles. I frowned.
"Knox is—"
"Okay, dude, FYI, I don’t wanna hear anything about him,"
"But—"
"Shhh, relax, breathe in, breathe out..." I inhaled deep before exhaling and repeated it a couple of times. "Do it with me..."
"What are you...? Buddha?"
"I’ve been doing some meditation lately and no it does not involve mister Snuggles, but any-who... What’s the deal, you look like you’ve seen a ghost."
"As I was trying to tell you, Knox is f—"
"Again with that word!" I cut him off, "Lock that shit down."
"How am I supposed to tell what’s the deal if you’re not listening?" He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Then maybe, just maybe, if it involves the person who we do not speak about, maybe just let’s not speak about him?" I said and instantly felt his arm across my face. I was left speechless, he just slapped me?
"He OD’d, you hear me?"
"OD’d like..."
"Like pills, Xanax or something... They’ve already called the ambulance, so..."
"What? Are you kidding me? We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere, it will take fucking hours..." I gave him an angry look, before hopping into my boots and running past him and towards the Midnight tour bus. You just had to fuck up my day, didn’t you, Knox?
"Where is he?" I shouted, pushing past Stefan Santana just to end up behind Scott, "Fucking move!" I squeezed through him and Aron, since none was actually moving.
"Dev, you stupid son of a bitch..." Jason muttered, sitting next to his dead-like body on the couch.
"What the hell are you doing, Jason?" I shouted, finally making his eyes raise to me.
"...Meg?" His eyes were all puffy and red. Dude, get a grip of yourself, like really. You’re a grown ass man, sheesh...
"Are you fucking singing lullabies to him? What the hell, man?" I pushed Boyd out of the way as I moved my way up to him. "Come on, get out of the way... I said move!"
"What the hell is she doing?" Scott asked as I tried to get his dead weight to sit up. I will so kill him after this...
"Saving his fucking life..." I mouthed, getting behind him, still holding his body so he’d kinda sit or rather lay on me. Basically I needed him upright, which was kinda hard to pull off knowing he was more dead than alive. "Jason, grab a bowl," I said before shoving two of my fingers up his throat. I could still feel him breathing which was a fucking good sign, if I may say. He started convulsing and Jason managed to shove some fruit bowl under his mouth in the very last second. But hey, I now had vomit all over my fingers, so that’s just great. "Okay, someone get him to vomit out everything and find an Activated Charcoal, also can someone make a strong yet sweet coffee? We need to get his blood pressure up and his sugar levels neutral…" While I try not to stab the bitch I just noticed standing in the doorway.
Me and Jason switched places, since Knox was kinda crushing me with his weight and I went to wash my hands. Fuck... I needed a drink.
"Thank you, Meg," Scott came up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder as I was trying to rinse my anxiety away from my shaking hands. He didn’t happen to have one of those Xanex’s still laying around, now did he? "I can’t imagine what we’d do if we lost—"
"Shut up, Corbie." I snapped, boosting myself on the counter. He took his hand away. "Who the fuck gave him Xanex? He’s fucking allergic to alprazolam..." And I should know, ‘cause I once gave him a single pill to help him relax, which ended with us going to hospital, ‘cause I didn’t know what the fuck was going on with him. Now I knew. The docs had informed me about what to do in these kinds of situations, but I still couldn’t believe none of them knew. Come on, I knew they had brought him to a stomach pumping more than once, so this was kinda self-explanatory, wasn’t it? If you fucking swallow – you stick two fingers up your throat, easy.
"No one, there’s the catch." Aron answered quietly. Actually I think this was the first I heard the guy speak.
"How did you know he’s allergic to... ermm..."
"Alprazolam?" How could I even remember the name was beyond me. "’cause I once nearly killed him with it." I sighed, "Look, can someone fix me a drink?"
"I’ll do it," A shrill voice rang from behind Scott and we all raised our eyes to look at the one, the only, the fucking Kathy the merch girl. It was kinda funny, I still didn’t know the last name of my almost killer. I saw Scott about to protest to it remembering what happened the previous time when she made me a drink, but I stopped him, putting my hand on his chest.
"Thank you." I smiled to the girl. Why the fuck was she here? I thought I told Pat to take care of it. "Listen, Kathy, I’ll be outside having a smoke, do you mind bringing the glass out when you’re done?"
"Yeah, sure," She smiled back as I walked past Jason and Ryan who was finally starting to become conscious.
"Meg..." I heard him call my name. His voice was raspy and he looked like hell. I ignored him and walked outside, snatching a smoke from the pack, before putting it between my lips. I lit it up in the same moment when the radiant Kathy walked out of the bus carrying my brownish drink.
"here you go," She handed me the glass.
"What a day, huh?" I took a drag, trying to figure who’d give Knox a Xanex and why?
"Yeah, doesn’t do good for the baby..." Her hands rested on her belly and I swear I’d punched her, if she wasn’t pregnant. ‘Cause there was a certain something sticking out from the pocket of her hoodie. Subconsciously my eyes slid over to my drink.
"Oh, congratulations by the way." I faked a smile, saluting with my glass.
"Thank you," She looked up at the exact moment when I was about to bring the glass to my lips, but oh boy, clumsy me, it slipped out of my hand and crashed right at my feet.
She looked at me confused, "Are you okay?"
"What do you take me for? Some sorority chick? You can’t fucking roofy me..."