6. Gym will fix it
A bold, red banner illuminated the gym’s entrance, immediately introducing itself as Big Bob’s Bionic Gym– the one for big biceps, big brains and big packages.
“So Ben, big I mean old chap you ready to meet some ladies?” Jose asked chirpily. Ben turned away from the gym’s name and turned to face Jose.
“What’s with the name?” Ben enquired. “What name?”
“The gyms name of course.”
Jose glanced up at the banner, unfazed by what he saw he turned back to Ben. “Oh that.”
“Yes that…?”
“You mean the big packages thing?” Ben nodded.
“Well duh.” He continued.
“Don’t worry Ben even you qualify for this one.” Jose laughed.
Ben stood motionless for a second not quite aware of Jose’s meaning. Was Jose insulting him? Confused he hurried to catch up with his friend.
The interior of the lobby was extremely well lit and had a strong smell of chlorine that stung the nose like an angry wasp stings its foes. Ben glanced around taking in the interior fixtures. Two female clerks, both sat in identical positions with identical bored expressions engraved in their features manned a reception area. One slowly filed her nails whilst the other stared into space. Working in a gym must be such a riveting occupation Ben thought dryly. Aside from Ben and Jose there were little customers, obviously the result of the girls apparent boredom. Still at least they wouldn’t have to queue, Ben thought brightly.
“Hey Ben I’ve already got a membership here so I’m just going to get prepped while you register, is that okay?” Jose asked.
“Yeah sure, go on. Just come back here when you’re ready.”
“Sure thing, see you in a minute.” Jose grinned, walking off in the direction of the opposite door.
Following Jose’s leave Ben reverted back to his analysis of the gym’s lobby. By now only one receptionist remained and still she maintained that constant, steely gaze of nothingness. Guessing the other clerk had gone to check out things in the back Ben felt fairly confident in approaching the counter; he smiled waiting for a response. He didn’t get one.
Unaware of whether the remaining receptionist was rude or just damn right stupid Ben waited a few minutes more. Still receiving no response Ben began to get angry. Waving his hand in the girls face he couldn’t understand why she didn’t even flinch – blink – move even… what was wrong with her? Did she have some sort of muscle paralysis?
“Hello anybody in there?!?” Ben shouted.
Once more all Ben heard was the echo of his own voice. Sustaining her eerie, steady and overbearing gaze the clerk’s stare blared at Ben instantly sending a shiver of anxiety down his spine. He couldn’t help but notice how awfully unnerving her look was – it was like she had been framed or something. His eyes searched desperately for the other receptionist but found nothing, nothing but this poor excuse of a receptionist - what ever happened to customer service? Frustrated Ben tapped robustly on the girls arm and to his shock her body seemed to tip over, falling heavily to the floor.
“Dear god, all I did was tap her!” Ben exclaimed through his shock as the other clerk finally came rushing in.
Rushing to see the commotion in the lobby, Lola, the vacant receptionist, appeared again. As she approached the doorway her eyes locked on Ben’s desperate, uneasy figure. His eyes roamed anxiously whilst portraying an emotion of deep despair. Glancing away from Ben her eyes fell on her companion – the customer service cardboard dummy. Oh dear – another day, another sucker. How many more people were going to think dear old Susie Service was real? Surely that scary scare should ring some bells in people’s minds. Glancing back at Ben’s frantic face she changed her mind – obviously not.
“Oh no you killed her!” Lola exclaimed.
Ben gasped; it was only then that he’d noticed the second receptionist had returned.
Up close she certainly seemed more attractive then far away. Her eyes, framed by lashings of mascara, were a deep sea blue, her nose a mere button, her mouth a crescent of smooth, unmarked skin. Tiny freckles were scattered on the base of her nose and extended onto her cheeks. Her blonde, layered hair fell loosely around her shoulders, as Ben watched she automatically tucked several hairs behind her ears.
“Yep, she’s a goner. In fact…” reaching down she gathered up the dropped leaflets that were once sat neatly in Susie Service’s deposit tray.
“Here’s her lifeline now.” Lola laughed as the leaflets dropped all over Ben’s head. “Ahhh, what the heck, Jesus, I thought this was blood.”
Lola rolled her eyes.
“No, its leaflet’s. Susie Service’s leaflets. She’s a flipping cardboard cut out!” Ben breathed a huge sigh of relief.
“Thank god for that!” Ben laughed.
Smiling weakly Lola tried to maintain her grip on reality – it certainly was hard to uphold in this mad house.
“So I’m guessing you came here for something. So what have you got, the small package or the big package?” she asked politely.
Ben suddenly felt very offended. Were receptionists supposed to intrude into your personal circumstances like this?
“Excuse me?”
The receptionist stared blankly.
“Small package or big package, simple question isn’t it?” she asked.
Ben’s forehead furrowed and his brow knitted together as he tried to interpret the situation. As perplexing as it seemed, he knew this complexity of big packages had something to do with the gym’s name. But what?
“Don’t you think what you’re asking me is a little rude?!” Ben said finally. Lola groaned.
“For gods sake! There’s two types of memberships and they’re known as small and big packages.” Lola explained as if she was talking to a two year old. She’d probably get more sense out of one anyway.
“Oh.” Ben uttered as reality hit hard. Again. “Now it all makes sense!” Ben laughed.
“Uh huh. Shall I explain what each membership involves?” Lola asked. “Oh yes please.”
“Right. Small package gym membership you’re entitled to using all machinery and equipment except the sauna rooms, Jacuzzi and swimming pool. Big package membership you’re obviously entitled to using everything you could ever wish to use.”
Ben smiled. He knew what he was going to choose – it was the big package thorough and through.
“Well I think it will have to be the big package please, got to have all avenues covered haven’t you – never know what might crop up!” Ben said jollily.
“Of course sir. By the way I need to know what your name is, to enter it into the system.” Lola requested.
“My name?” Ben stuttered.
Lola nodded slowly, her face set in a slightly sarcastic tone. This guy was a bag of laughs, really he was. “It’s Ben Dover.” Ben uttered quickly.
“Sorry I didn’t quite catch that.” Lola said, “Repeat please.”
Shifting his body to the side Ben repeated his name, slower this time. “Ahhh Ben Dover. What a curious name.” Lola grinned.
Ben’s face settled into an intimidating manner.
“No need to let out any little gags – I’ve heard them all, believe me.” Ben muttered.
Lola’s eyes locked with Ben’s. A sense of individualism was portrayed. One that said I’m not like all the others, so don’t you dare compare them to me.
“Your card.” Lola said, handing Ben the membership card.
“Of course, thanks.” Ben muttered, turning away. Just then Jose came out of the door he had left in. “What’s holding you Ben, come on!”
“Sure.” Ben said taking a final glance at Lola before following Jose towards the business end of the gym.
Compared to the lobby the gym was a flurry of energy. Females and males, tall and small, fat and thin, chubby and in-between – the gym was full of them – working heatedly to achieve the goal that is set in every persons mind almost from birth – of gaining the perfect body, the toned, defined set of abs. A flood of colour hit Ben’s eyes as he took in all the varying gym outfits – red lycra, purple lycra, black sweatpants, black leggings… the list went on and on. At least Ben wouldn’t look out of place here, a place where not one person is the same.
“Come on Ben get changed!” Jose insisted. “Okay, okay I won’t be a minute.”
“You better not be you wasted enough time just registering.” “Yes well there’s a story behind that one.”
“I’d love to hear it.” Jose suggested. Ben shrugged.
“You’ve heard it all before.”
Jose only wished he hadn’t. Amazingly Ben only took a few minutes to get ready, was soon jogging out of the changing room equipped in his black and red adidas tracksuit.
“Right Jose you all prepped and ready to go?” Ben grinned. “Ready when you are.”
“Right…” Ben muttered, his eyes frantically scanning the room.
Many of the machines were being used but a set of treadmills at the exterior of the gym lay empty. “They’re beckoning us Jose.” Ben said.
“Best not disappoint them then hey Ben.” Jose replied.
Stepping onto the treadmill Ben pressed the power button and waited for the machine to kick into life. The treadmill was only set on low – perfectly apt for a beginner. After a few minutes of slowly trundling along Ben got bored, setting the dial a notch higher he perceived the faster pace as challenging for around ten minutes – then he got bored of that too. Even for a newcomer like himself the treadmill seemed to be rattling along so slowly.
“Hey Jose.” Ben said.
“Mmm?” Jose questioned without looking at Ben. “These things go a bit slow don’t they?”
“Do they?” Jose replied.
“Oh yeah. I mean where’s the challenge in walking practically?”
“Walking? If it’s that low set it higher Ben.” Jose said in a matter of fact tone. Obedient as a dog to his master Ben set the dial one notch from the top. “Now lets see how I man this baby.” Ben grinned ready to face the challenge.
It certainly came fast. As the belt of the treadmill thundered along at a rapid pace Ben’s feet flailed out underneath him, grabbing on for dear life his hands lunged at the safety bars gripping them like they would grip a roofs edge should they be hanging off them. His body taken in surprise, Ben felt his heart in his mouth, his breath frantic and desperate, hounding his body.
“Jose, need a little help here please!” Ben cried out.
Jose leaned over, his fingers quickly pressing the emergency stop button. Ben waited for the belt to halt – shudder – as it began to slow but nothing happened, the belt maintained its speedy, unaltered pace. “I told you to stop it!” Ben shouted, his fraught eyes fixing on Jose.
“I did! You must have broke it, the emergency button wouldn’t work.” “I did not!” Ben exclaimed.
His energy levels ceasing Ben didn’t think he could keep this up any longer. On the plus side he was bound to have lost a few pounds, after all, running at this rate must be a mini marathon at least!
“Come on Ben just jump off, at least then we can just go and sort the machine out with the staff.” “Jump off!? I might hurt myself!” Ben stammered.
“A grazed knee is hardly a sign of a dented ego is it Ben?” Jose questioned.
Ben sniffed. He didn’t really like the idea but he wasn’t superman, he didn’t have the energy of a hero, therefore, a bit of a cut or bruise is surely a sign that he was half a hero – after all he stuck it out this long.
Facing facts though his physical state was quite a mess. His face was a pit of perspiration by now; the sweat clinging to his skin like glue, the stickiness leaving him feeling clammy and dank. He was going to have to take Jose’s advice. Braving himself Ben took a deep breath and tried to make his lunge to safety with as much dignity as he could muster. In typical Ben Dover style he failed miserably and fell flat on his face. His body meeting the floor with a thunderous smack shook not only everyone around him - with laughter - but himself with shame – dismay – because he knew once again he was the laughing stock, the fat guy who couldn’t do anything for mistakes. He couldn’t stand the looks of pity in some eyes, amusement in others… why was he any different to them, after all no one had the perfect body in here. But he wasn’t going to let them see him fall, oh no, he was going to come back, keep coming back and show every single one of them he meant business and that this ‘fat guy’ was worth more then the hundreds of them put together. Defiant in his attitude Ben got up, dusted himself off and grinned at the staring crowd.
“So how was that for a party trick?” he said loudly.
Everyone laughed. But this time there was a significant difference, they were laughing with him, not at him. And that’s when he became known at the gym as the jokester.