After my morning workout, I roamed around the house, waiting for M to return. I couldn’t pretend to arrange stuff because Nana is back and she keeps a spotless place. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
It is now after lunch. M has been gone for a few hours.
I miss him so much; I can’t settle down enough to do any work.
In the past, Misbah and I could go for days, even weeks sometimes, without seeing each other. It’s amazing how much it all feels different now.
I know I could just call to hear his voice but I won’t. I am not going to be a nagging wife, thank you.
Not that it’s a real marriage or anything.
Although, whenever Misbah kisses me, it feels one hundred percent real.
That kiss, this morning, was short but very potent. My entire body felt it.
When I think of how it feels every time M touches and kisses me, a special type of warmth envelops me.
Also, the way Misbah looks at me now is very different from before. It is so intense; it makes me want to melt at his feet. That is, when I catch his stare.
Many times, he watches me when I’m not looking.
I know this because the hairs on the back of my neck stand when he does. Either way, I’m not altogether comfortable with the feelings I have been having. I don’t understand them and I don’t know what to do with them. The only feeling I think I understand is this need I have for Misbah.
In just a short time, I have gotten a lot more familiar with it. So I have been thinking about doing more than just kissing.
I’ve gotten over the weirdness of wanting to do it with my best friend, but a part of me keeps holding back.
At first, when M brought it up on the morning after our wedding, I thought he was trying to shift the relationship we have into a more romantic, intimate kind. This turned out not the case.
He basically said he just wanted my body.
I did not let M know this but I was a little disappointed. I guess I was hoping he’d want a real relationship with me. And why not? Am I not good enough for him?
Until Misbah decides that he wants this however, I am never mentioning it to him. God forbid he gives me what I ask out of pity.
Although, it would be a real shame if Misbah never wants a real relationship with me.
I’ll just make sure I keep up my end of the bargain.
Maybe after we have the baby, M will realise he needs no one else but me.
In the meantime, we can let things progress naturally.
I still have this intense need for him regardless of the future of our relationship.
The only problem is that Misbah won’t ask me because he’s left the decision up to me.
I do not know how to ask him or how to initiate it, so what do I do? I can hardly ask Nana. Hey, Nana, how do I seduce Misbah, my husband, your employer? I can just imagine how that conversation will go. Hey, maybe Priyé will … no. I can’t ask her. Misbah would hate it if he found out.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my musings. I put my lunch dishes in the rack, dry my hands with a dishcloth and dash for the phone on the kitchen table. Please, let it be M. Let it be M.
Priyé’s name comes up. Good enough.
‘Babe! What’s up?’
Priyé’s laughter comes over the phone. ‘Be careful with calling me “babe”. Let your new husband not think we’re cheating. ’
This makes me laugh. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Like, are you busy? I’m free this afternoon.’ From the chewing sounds coming over the phone, Priyé must be chewing gum again. ‘You know I am leaving town soon and we didn’t, like, get the chance to hang out, apart from seeing each other during your wedding ceremony.’ Chew, chew.
‘Cool! Let’s ha-’ I remember that M is out. ‘Oh, but I don’t know if I can.’
‘Why? Like, you want to come, don’t you?’
‘Yes but Misbah is not around now and I don’t-’
‘This is the best time, Reana. Let me tell you something.’ Chew, chew. ‘When you are married, the best time to hang with your friends is when your husband has gone out. When he is around, he won’t let you go out.’
‘Misbah is not like that.’
‘Maybe he wasn’t like that before, but all men change once they marry.’ Chew, chew.
Something thumps in my chest. I know M is not typical, and our marriage is not the regular one, but I wonder.
Will Misbah become different from the amazing person I’ve always known simply because we got married?
‘Priyé, you are not even married.’
‘Ah. I don’t need to be married before I know this, like ...’ she laughs shortly. ‘Ask any woman in this Nigeria, she will tell you. That is how all men are. Look, just come, we won’t take long.’
I don’t know how long M will stay out, and I can’t keep moping, waiting for him. It’s pathetic. ‘We won’t take long?’
‘I swear. We will just have drinks and catch up, bills on me. At least let me thank you for allowing me to stay at your place.’
‘Tell me where to meet you.’
‘Yes!’ Priyé lets out a piercing scream.
***
One more time, I check my wristwatch.
Priyé makes for great company. She is funny, carefree and bubbly in contrast to my sedate nature. Priyé is the only friend I’ve managed to keep in touch with through the years. She, like most people I went to boarding school with, is from a rich family. But she isn’t a total git like most of them.
Unlike me, Priyé doesn’t have an aversion to rich people. In fact, she only wants to relate with people of means, as she is slightly entitled. This is partly why she’s wanted M for the longest time. Unfortunately for her, M knows she wants him because he’s rich and therefore wants nothing to do with her.
Good for me.
Priyé isn’t perfect but she has a good spirit. She fancies herself worldly but is actually guileless. That’s more than enough for me.
Spending time with Priyé today has been great but my attention has been slightly divided.
Misbah still hasn’t called me and I left home over two hours ago. Does he really never think of me when we’re apart? Am I the only one who misses him like this?
‘Reana, can you hear me?’ Priyé snaps her fingers in front of my eyes. She leans towards me and raises her voice slightly over the low din in the restaurant.
I blink.
‘You just zoomed off again.’
‘Sorry, my mind went elsewhere. What did you say?’
She laughs, clapping her hands in typical African fashion. This kind of clap shows a mocking wonder.
I shake my head. ‘Sorry. I need to leave soon, Priyé.’
‘I know. We’re leaving now.’ She scoffs. ‘You need to calm down, Reana. I know this is about your husband but don’t let him keep you at home like a prisoner. I mean, he goes out without you, right? Do you know what he is doing when you are not with him?’
‘Misbah is different, Priyé.’ I roll my eyes. ‘He’s my best friend, remember?’ Even as I defend M, I feel a pang in my chest from … fear?
‘Hm.’ She puts a limp chip in her mouth and chews. ‘Let me tell you something about men, Reana.’
Here we go again.
Suddenly, Priyé snaps her fingers. ‘I just remembered something.’ Priyé dips a hand into her large, leather handbag and pulls out a stack of envelopes. ‘I always find one of these under the door whenever I arrive home at night. I don’t know who they are from but I suspect it’s a guy.’
Crap!
‘Maybe a secret admirer?’ She winks. ‘Or maybe it’s an ex?’
I hesitate before stretching a hand to collect it. Without looking at it, I shove the bundle into my own smaller bag under the table.
Her grin widens. ‘From that reaction, it’s your ex. He does not know you have gotten married?’
I shake my head. ‘You remember I told you not to open the door for anyone you don’t know?’
‘Yes?’
‘Good. Make sure you never open the door for anyone you don’t know.’
‘Ooh. Aunty Reana has a stalker. I’m jealous. How can only you have two men?’
I wait for her laughter to stop. ‘I’m serious, Priyé. This guy is dangerous.’
‘I am dangerous-er. If you don’t want him, send him my way. Now, why don’t you call your beloved husband and tell him you are on your way? I need to use the restroom, and then we can leave.’
Priyé grabs her handbag, hitches the strap over her shoulder and heads in what I assume is the direction of the restroom.
Deciding to call Misbah, I rummage in my bag for my phone. At this point, I don’t care if I come across as a needy, nagging wife.
Shock hits me when I see ten missed calls from Misbah. The last one was just about two minutes ago. I’m about to return his call when another one comes in.
With a deep breath, I brace myself and answer. ‘M?’
‘Ree? Thank God. Are you okay? Where are you?’
‘Hanging out with Priyé. I’m on my way back home.’
Misbah goes silent. He’s upset.
‘M? I am so sorry; I didn’t know you were calling me.’
In a voice gone frozen, he asks, ‘where are you?’
Regretful, I tell him the name of the restaurant.
‘Stay where you are. I’m coming.’ He disconnects the call.
I seldom hear Misbah speak in that frigid voice. Since the day we met, I have only heard Misbah speak like that to a wayward employee once. It really sucks being on the receiving end of that.
With a sigh, I pull out a little compact from my purse to check my face. I blot out my shiny nose, apply a little lip balm. After replacing the items, I raise my head and see a pair of tailored trousers standing before me. My first thought is, Misbah must have been close by if he’s already arrived. My second thought is that, this isn’t Misbah. As my gaze travels upward, I see that I’m right.
This is someone I don’t know. In a light-blue, silk shirt and khaki trousers, his light-tan skin is well shown-off. The stranger’s face is easy on the eyes and the smile he’s wearing says ‘trust me’.
‘I wonder if I may join you,’ he says in a deep, smooth voice.
I return his smile. ‘You may, but I’m here with someone, and she’ll be back at any second.’
With a gentle inclination of his head, he sits in Priyé’s spot.
I prepare myself for a cheesy, boring line.
He surprises me and actually charms me by simply introducing himself. He waits for me to introduce myself too, pays me a compliment and then asks me out on a date.
At the back of my mind, I can appreciate that this is a very attractive man.
He’s very smooth too. He’s certainly the type of guy I would usually go for.
If things were different, I might be interested. I want someone else now, though. ‘I’m terribly flattered by your interest, Mr Harun, but, I’m married.’
He leans forward with a smile. ‘Alli, please. Are you sure, Reana?’
First names, too intimate. I may try to be nice, but I refuse to go there with this man. ‘I am very sure, Mr Harun.’ Raising my hand, I show him my ring.
‘That’s too bad.’ With a slight nod, he rises. ‘It was a pleasure meeting you this evening, beautiful Reana.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ I caution myself against smiling at him too much.
He holds out an embossed card. ‘If you ever need anything, anything at all, I hope you’ll think of me and call me.’
Still trying to be polite, I take the card from him. ‘I won’t. But I appreciate the offer.’
His grin widens. ‘A man can hope.’
Right then, from the corner of my eye, I see Misbah approaching the table with a hard look on his face.
This is going to be fun.
I get up, hoping the guy will take a hint and leave before M gets here. I really don’t want to have the fight that I know will happen in the presence of this suave stranger.
Unfortunately, Mr Harun cannot take a hint.
‘Hello, love,’ I greet brightly when M reaches us, hoping he’ll be nice.
Misbah’s frosty eyes clash with mine for a long second.
I have to suppress a shiver.
Misbah turns to the guy, emanating frost. ‘My wife does not need your card. Take it back!’