CHAPTER 24
Gabrielle listened with interest as her father recounted the details of his holiday. Her eyes opened wide when he explained about his adventures in the lingerie department and his subsequent meeting with Natalie.
’Great stuff,’ she exclaimed. ’Is she pretty?’
’I was concentrating more on the casserole than on her face,’ Donald laughed, ’but I suppose you could call her easy on the eye.’
’Even better! When are you getting married? Or are you going to do the unconventional thing and just move in together? Or is that more the conventional thing nowadays? Anyway, there’s plenty of room here and I’d have someone else to talk to.’
’Come on, Gabby. We only spent one afternoon together and that’s not a great deal to base a marriage on, even nowadays, especially when most of the time was taken in discussing another woman, namely yourself.’
Gabrielle shook her head sadly. ’You mean you didn’t even make a grab for her. And you had sexy underwear on your person. You were slow.’
’In the boarding house, not on my person. I should remind you, my dear, that as a shop assistant she only gave advice and didn’t offer to model the items in question.’
’What a disappointment for you. I’m not surprised, though,’ she said with a giggle, holding them up. ’They are a bit daring, although exactly what I wanted.’
’I’m pleased to hear that,’ said Donald. ’She offered something in transparent lace at one stage but I thought you might prefer something a bit more decent.’
’Um. Yes, considering how my skirt rides up sometimes. You are clever. Anyway, to return to your girl friend, when is she coming to visit?’
’Visit? Not at all. She doesn’t even know where we live.’
’You mean you never asked her?’
’Of course not, the thought never occurred to me. Why should it?’
Gabrielle sighed deeply. ’Poor dad. You have lost your social skills, haven’t you? I sent you away in the hope that you might find someone to talk to and get rid of your repressions on but when you did, you let her slip away without as much as ogling her, let alone anything more exciting. Well, if you’ve been to the house, you must know the address. Write to her, at least.’
’I don’t think that’s necessary, Gabby.’
’Who said anything about it being necessary? This is blatant matchmaking. Oh, I know you, you won’t do a thing. Give me the address and I’ll write myself.’
’And what will you write? Wife sought for a lonely man and I think you’ll do very nicely, especially if you have any money, even though I’ve never met you?’
’Something like that, only it wants wrapping up a bit just in case she is led to believe you are only after a bed companion. Seriously though, dad, I would like to write to her, just to thank her for her help. I know she helped you too but I won’t mention that. Maybe,’ she muttered under her breath.
Donald gave in, as she knew he would and shortly afterwards, a letter was on its way.
Dear Natalie,
I hope you don’t mind if I call you by your first name, as I don’t know if you are married or not and MS looks more like a sheaf of papers at the publishers.
I just wanted to thank you for the help you gave my father last week. The goods you chose were perfect, just what I had in mind. I’m hoping to drive my boyfriend wild with passionate desire, only he’s studying to be a doctor so it probably has no effect whatsoever as he is trained to view the female form with a lack of enthusiasm that is remarkably frustrating for a fit and healthy young woman with things on her mind she is not supposed to have there but which refuse to go away. Curses!
Apart from that, you and dad seem to have had a good long chat, something he’s been missing for a long time. He talks to me, of course, but those occasions tend to develop into a monologue. I’m not called Gabby for nothing, although for some reason dad is the only one who calls me that, a form of self protection against my tongue, no doubt. Besides, he has adult interests which are sometimes a bit difficult for me to share or even understand, which doesn’t necessarily mean what it appears to mean. As it happens, it doesn’t mean what it appears to mean in the slightest. To tell the truth, he’s far too much of a sobersides for his own good but I can tell you he came back home refreshed and ready to take up the reins again. I’m grateful to you for helping in that way as well.
In fact, you have been so nice I would like to invite you to pay us a visit. I know we live some distance off, but it’s not really so far by car if you have one, or even by train. We have a couple of spare rooms, so we can accommodate you for a week, or even longer if you can put up with us.
Please say you’ll come. I know dad’s told you about me and how I’m in a wheelchair when I’m not in bed. I’ll confess I’m not as fit and healthy as I made out in the beginning of this letter, so it would make a pleasant change to have something different going on as life can get rather boring when the view is restricted. To be honest, I’m now playing on your sympathy for a poor little sick girl, something I’ve developed an expertise in over the years whenever I want people to do as I say. Just the same, the invitation is a genuine one and I really would like to meet you, as I have so few women to talk to. My father doesn’t understand a girl’s need in modern fashion and the boyfriend sees me as a collection of bones and interesting clumps of body cells, though I’m hoping to change that before long.
Yours sincerely,
Gabrielle Vickers
ps. My dad’s not a bad cook, so you won’t starve.
There was a single sentence written in a different hand and signed Donald Vickers, informing Natalie that he approved of the invitation. It was not difficult to make up her mind. After only a few moments thought, she sat down to pen a letter of reply.
Dear Gabrielle,
I would be delighted to pay you a visit in the near future. In fact, I have part of my holiday from work early next month, starting on the fourth. As my main holiday has been and long since gone, I had nothing planned for that week. If it is suitable, I could come then and could certainly stay with you for a few days, or however long it takes for you to get bored with me. I’ve put my phone number at the top of this letter, so would you please give me a ring if next month is unsuitable?
I don’t know how good a company I can be, as I live a very simple life without a great deal of outside stimulus, but at least you will have someone to talk to. I’m not a bad listener, even though I say it myself.
Yours sincerely,
Natalie Matthews
It was early afternoon when Natalie arrived, having opted for travelling by train, expensive, but less stressful than driving the rather longer distance than Gabrielle had made it out to be. Her thoughts absorbed her for the entire journey, fluttering thoughts that seemed to have their origin at the base of her stomach. It was quite an adventure, one she was looking forward to very much. Long cables stretched between posts at the side of the track swooped and swerved with monotonous regularity, as though in tune with the slightly giddy feeling that came from her excitement.
Donald met her at the station and took her to his home by a tortuous route through innumerable narrow streets, past the outskirts of the town on what was obviously the northern side, to judge by the angle of the shadows spread along the ground and eventually to a short stretch of open countryside leading to a pretty little village nestling in the shadow of the hills. After the initial greeting, he fell silent as he concentrated on the difficult task of driving in heavy traffic. He pulled up and stopped outside a largish detached house in a pleasant tree lined avenue just off the main road but within sight of the village green.
’Welcome,’ he said. ’The door’s open. Just go right inside while I get your bags from the boot.’
Natalie unbuckled the seat belt, stepped out of the car and gazed at the house with interest. It was well kept, that she could see, paintwork in good order, windows clean and even the garden tidy. Not only that, it gave every appearance of being kept that way on a permanent basis and not cleaned up especially for her visit. She gave the front door a tentative push. It swung back and she stepped inside the porch, closely followed by her host.
’I’m sorry Gabrielle couldn’t come to the station to meet you,’ he said. ’She wanted to but she’s not too well today and had to stay home. I expect you’d like some refreshments after your journey.’
’Yes please,’ she said with a heartfelt sigh. ’I’d love a cup of tea.’
’Right, tea it is. Bathroom’s at the top of the stairs, clearly marked bathroom. You’ll find a guest towel, also clearly marked, in there if you want to freshen up. Gabrielle’s room is on the left. The door will be open. Why don’t you go in to see her, and I’ll bring some tea up for all of us. Let me take your coat first.’
Very informal thought Natalie but very acceptable. Slowly she went upstairs, found the bathroom and guest towel without difficulty and rinsed her hands and face. Leaving, she looked around. It wasn’t hard to see where Gabrielle was as there was only one other room with an open door and a small figure was even visible under the bedcovers. She tapped diffidently on the door and walked in. A pair of curious eyes watched her.
’Hello,’ said Natalie. ’You must be Gabrielle.’
’And you must be Natalie. I’m so glad you came.’
Natalie went closer, looking with a sense of shock at the diminutive figure with the unhealthy yellow skin.
’Could you help me to sit up please? Just lift under my shoulders and prop me up on that frame. I was having a bit of a sleep before you came.’
’I’m happy to meet you,’ said Natalie, doing as the girl asked, and trying to keep a neutral expression on her face.
’You’re a bit shocked, aren’t you?’ asked Gabrielle. ’Don’t worry, though. I don’t always look like this. This is just one of my bad days. I usually improve by the evening. Lucky you, you’re pretty all the time.’
’Are you all right?’ asked Natalie uncertainly. ’I mean, can I get you anything? Do you want your father?’
’No thank you, I’m all right, just a bit tired, that’s all. It happens often enough, but I get over it.’
’I’m sorry.’
’No need to feel sorry for me, spare a thought for my boyfriend instead. He’s the one who has to gaze deep into my eyes, though I’m sure he’s only practising his anatomy, if that doesn’t sound too rude. It would be more to the point if he practised some physiology but I think he’s a bit shy.’
Natalie gave a little laugh. Under that sick face, she thought, there’s a lively mind which doesn’t know how to give up. I think I could get to like this girl.
’Your boyfriend, that must be Tom, is it, the medical student?’
’That’s right. Obviously dad’s told you all about us. He’s been a right blabbermouth. Odd really, usually he doesn’t talk so much but I expect that’s because I don’t let him hog the conversation.’
’Well, he told me quite a lot. I’m not sure he told me everything.’
’No? Well, perhaps I had better fill you in on the details. I’m partly paralysed as a result of a traffic accident. Sometimes, not very often, I can manage to get around by hanging on to the furniture but he must have told you about that. Did he tell you I have cancer as well?’ Without waiting for an answer, she hurried on. ’There’s no cure, not for what I have and I’ve got about a year to live. In my opinion, the doctors are a bit optimistic. It probably won’t be that long. But then I can feel it from the inside, while they can only know what I tell them and I don’t necessarily tell them everything. A girl has to have some secrets, after all. There, so now you know, there’s no need to skate over the topic and no need to be embarrassed about it either. Some people are, you know. I hope you aren’t going to be one of them.’
’I’ll try not to be, Gabrielle,’ said Natalie with more than a suspicion of tears in her eyes.
’Good, then we can be friends. Tell me, are you married? You didn’t say in your letter and I’m curious. Well, dad calls it nosy. So does Tom for that matter. You don’t think they could be right, do you? Not that it makes any difference. I’m still asking.’
Natalie was saved from answering by the arrival of a tea tray. Donald set it down carefully on a nearby table and arranged the cups on another. He looked enquiringly at the other two.
’Well, who’ll be mother?’ he asked.
Gabrielle snorted. ’Not me at any rate, not since that operation. It had better be Natalie.’ She chuckled. ’You wouldn’t believe what an unsteady hand he has. He’s scalded me many a time. Tom’s much better but then he had better be if he’s going to be a world famous surgeon. At the risk of sounding rude myself, I wouldn’t mind Tom opening me up, but if it was dad, well I think there may be enough parts left over to do a Doctor Frankenstein.’
’Not a bad idea, Gabby,’ said Donald. ’Only I think I might leave out the tongue.’
The good humour was infectious. Natalie lifted the teapot and poured, feeling all her cares float away.
’You’re quite a character,’ she said. ’I do believe I’ll remember this week for a long time. Sugar? Milk?’
’Just milk for me please,’ said Gabrielle. She giggled wickedly. ’I have to keep my girlish figure or how do I tempt the men? Men, did I say? Tom once stroked my shoulder blade only he called it the scapula or something and gave a whole lot of Latin names for the various bumps and hollows he could feel. It was a right put off. I thought for once he was going to do something wild and daring but no. He has no soul, that man. I’ve told him I have a lot more interesting bumps and hollows further down, which he has a positive duty to examine, purely in the interests of furthering his medical knowledge, you understand. He said that doctors aren’t allowed to examine a female patient below the scapula without a female nurse being in attendance but since I’m not his patient, I’m working on him.’
Donald left the room after a while and left the ladies to their conversation, a dialogue that seemed to progressing well to judge by the shrieks of laughter drifting downstairs. He smiled happily and started preparing a meal.
Gradually the noise in the bedroom died away and ceased altogether as Gabrielle’s eyes closed.
’Tired again?’ asked Natalie.
’A bit,’ Gabrielle admitted. ’There’s some pain as well. Could you pass me a white pill please, a round one. You’ll find them in the box on top of the bedside cabinet by the water jug.’ She opened her eyes briefly, wincing. ’Don’t worry, it’s only a pain killer. I normally need one earlier than this, but I forgot when I was talking to you.’
Natalie searched in the box, found the medication asked for and handed it over, together with a glass of water. Gabrielle swallowed it and lay back on her pillows in apparent exhaustion. Her eyes closed again, her face relaxed and her breathing deepened. Natalie watched the girl carefully, wondering if she should call Donald. No, she seemed to be sleeping naturally. On impulse, the older woman leaned forward and kissed the girl lightly on the cheek.
’That’s nice,’ said a sleepy voice. ’I like you.’
Natalie fumbled for a handkerchief and dried her own eyes which had become unaccountably damp, then rose and made her way downstairs. The smell of food guided her to the kitchen where Donald was busy setting the table.
’She’s wonderful Donald,’ she said before covering her face and bursting into tears. ’I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be doing this.’
’Go ahead,’ he said lightly. ’Gabby has this effect on people. You’re not the first. But you’re right, she is wonderful, with a grip on life that is almost unbelievable. Seems a pity it won’t be a long one but she has given me a lifetime of memories already. I’m a lucky man.’
He looked at the clock. ’Food will be ready in about half an hour. Perhaps I had better show you to your room. You’ll find we’re not terribly formal in this house. There is a tendency to eat when we’re hungry and sleep when we’re tired. Gabby keeps some odd hours at times, so everything runs around her.’
’Four places?’ asked Natalie, drying her eyes. ’May I ask who else is coming?’
’Possibly Tom, Gabby’s boyfriend. He normally calls in two or three times a week. We haven’t seen him for a while as he has had examinations to prepare for but I understand they are over now, so he is likely to come today. I think you’ll like him. He’s incredibly sensible and sensitive, and adores Gabby. Did I tell you he often sits with her all night to give me a break? How he fits it all in with his studies I simply do not know.’
Tom did arrive, just as the food was being served. Gabrielle was sitting at the table still in her nightdress, having been carried down by Donald. She looked weak but lively enough, keeping up a nonstop flow of chatter. Natalie was relieved to see that much of the yellow colour had disappeared from her face.
’Hi there, Tom,’ said Gabrielle. ’Come in and sit down. You’ve kept us all waiting, you beast. I’m famished. Just look at me. I’m wasting away through lack of nourishment. The strange lady you see is dad’s new girl friend, the one I told you about. Her name’s Natalie, but we’ll do a better introduction later, just as long as you promise not to inspect her body parts with more than professional interest, though quite why you should do that to her when you never do it to me I really can’t say.’
’I apologise for my daughter’s bad manners, Natalie,’ said Donald. ’One day I really must do something about it.’
’I’m too big to put over your knee and spank now, dad.’
’That may well be true, Mr. Vickers,’ said Tom gravely. She’s a big girl, after all. I’m always willing to help though, if the need arises. It would be a pleasure to hold her down, though I’m not certain which of us would gain the most from the deed.’
’Hm,’ murmured Donald. ’That’s very tempting, Tom, very tempting indeed. Unfortunately, I do believe I’ve left it too late. She’s been spoiled all her life, you see and it’s going to take more than the two of us to make any impression. I really don’t know why you bother with her at all. Why don’t you go out and find yourself someone with a bit more life in her?’
’If I’m to be given the choice, can I make that someone with a bit less life, please?’
’I take your point. At any rate you could find a girl who’ll respect you a bit better.’
’Don’t even think of trying, Tom Fletcher or I’ll jump out of bed and run after you in the street, clutching at your sleeve and begging you to remember our infant child.’ Gabrielle turned to Natalie. ’I came across Victorian melodrama recently and got hooked on it. Isn’t it a hoot?’
’It’s a pity she couldn’t have taken up something a bit more serious in my opinion,’ growled Donald. ’Like Ophelia, or Desdemona.’
’Boadicea, Lady Macbeth, or who was that Roman matron, wife of one of the less likeable emperors, who went around poisoning people for pleasure?’ suggested Tom.
Natalie looked from one to the other and back again, then fell into a helpless laughter which she was conscious contained more than a touch of hysteria, aware of a release of years of tension and frustration.
’Steady on, Natalie,’ said Gabrielle. ’Or you’ll soon be as crazy as the rest of us. If we are crazy, that is. In this house, this passes for normality.’
Natalie choked and coughed vigorously into her handkerchief, aware of someone, she wasn’t sure who, ceremoniously thumping her on her back.
’I don’t know when I’ve had as much fun as this,’ she gasped. ’I’m not sure I’ll last a week.’
The meal ended, interspersed with bouts of laughter. Coffee was served in the living room by Tom, who considered himself to be a superior coffee maker. Over the drinks, Gabrielle’s voice gradually faded away into silence. Her eyelids drooped and her head rolled on the seat back. She slipped sideways slightly.
’Tired Gabby?’ asked her father. ’Like to go to bed?’
’Yes please,’ she whispered.
’Right my love, I’ll take you.’
Before Donald could get to his feet, Tom stood up.
’I’ll take her, Mr. Vickers. You stay here and talk. Leave the dishes, too. I’ll see to them afterwards. You don’t get much company. Make the most of it.’
He lifted Gabrielle with an easy, smooth movement, holding her under the shoulders and under the knees. As she rose in the air, her nightdress fell away from her legs, exposing a length of wasted white thigh. That is really too short for modesty, thought Natalie, especially if she’s wearing nothing underneath which seems to be the case. Still, she shrugged mentally, it’s none of my business and Tom’s a doctor - well almost and why am I so bothered about it anyway? She investigated the thought and was shocked to find the answer coming out as a touch of envy.
’Come up and talk to me later on, Natalie, will you please?’ said Gabrielle.
’Yes, yes, of course. I’d love to.’
Tom came downstairs half an hour later, a half hour during which Donald and Natalie had fallen into light, comfortable conversation. They could hear him in the kitchen filling the dishwasher. After a while, he entered the living room.
’Gabrielle’s asleep,’ he announced. ’Thanks for the meal Mr. Vickers. I’d better be leaving now. There’s quite a lot to do in my flat, things which got left during the exams and I’d like to get them in order before the next round. Good night, Natalie. It was nice to have met you. I’ll probably see you again if you’re here for a week.’
The door closed behind him and the threads of the interrupted conversation were picked up. Time passed. The clock on the mantel struck ten, chiming with a soft, delicate sound, somehow in keeping with the character of the house. Donald talked of his work as an author, work that had necessarily been halted. One day, he said, he intended to pick it up again. He had plenty of ideas and had written them all down. There was enough material for half a dozen books, he was sure. He spoke a little of his wife, sufficient to show that he missed her still, while the pain of the loss was dulled. Suddenly, Donald gave a start.
’You must be tired,’ he said, penitently. ’It’s a long way from your home and here I am, maundering on like an old man.’
’Not at all,’ she assured him. ’I don’t get a chance to talk to other people very often myself. It’s a pleasant change.’
’Even so, it’s getting late and I’m ready for bed myself. I was up most of last night with Gabby. It was one of her bad nights, unfortunately. Luckily, such sessions don’t usually last too long.’
He escorted her to her room and said goodnight. Natalie undressed and took a shower before returning to her room. On the way, she peeked into Gabrielle’s room, and was met with a pair of bright eyes, peering out from under the covers.
’Hello,’ said the owner of the eyes. ’Are you just going to bed?’
’I was on my way there, yes.’
’Are you really tired?’
Natalie smiled and came into the room. ’Not really, not too much anyway. Why, would you like a bit of company?’
’Yes please. If you can keep awake, that is. I don’t mind if you want to sleep.’
’Can I sit here?’ asked Natalie, indicating a chair. ’I had a nap on the train on the way here, so I don’t actually need to sleep for some time. Are you often awake at night?’
’Quite a lot, yes. Sometimes dad comes in with me and sometimes Tom, but that’s usually when I’m ill. If I’m feeling OK, I don’t bother disturbing anyone but it does get a bit tedious on my own sometimes.’
’Yes,’ said Natalie. ’I can understand that. What would you like to talk about?’
’About you of course, what else? They say that curiosity killed the cat but I don’t think I have to worry too much about that, do I? You know, one of the advantages of having a terminal illness is that I get to ask all those personal questions that people aren’t normally allowed to bring up. It’s very rude of me, I know but I have no shame. At the same time I don’t take offence if people refuse to answer. Life’s too short for that.’
’Personal questions?’ asked Natalie, amused.
’Personal questions. Tell me to mind my own business if you like. It doesn’t matter.’
’Go ahead, Gabrielle. There might be certain areas I prefer to keep secret but I’ll listen to your questions at least, that much I can promise.’
’Alright, first one coming up, are you married?’
’Well, that’s an easy one. No, I’m not.’
Gabrielle waited, but there was obviously nothing more coming.
’I didn’t think so, the second one then, why not?’
’Now that’s not so easy.’
’It shouldn’t be so difficult either. I mean, you are pretty good looking. At least, my dad says so and he probably knows what he’s talking about. He did marry my mother after all and she was stunning. That’s her photograph there. See for yourself.’
Natalie picked up the picture indicated and saw that the girl spoke truly. Her mother had been a beauty, much as Gabrielle herself would doubtless have been without the ravages of disease evident in her face.
’Tom thinks the same as dad, though admittedly I had to strangle him to get him to admit that he preferred my looks to yours. Having said that, I’m not really hot competition, so you shouldn’t worry about it.’
Natalie laughed delightedly. ’Nor should you. He’s a bit young for my taste.’
’Oh, how old are you?’
’Well, that’s no secret. I’m thirty eight.’
’And still not married. You haven’t told me why not yet.’
’Well, it’s not exactly a thing you can do on your own. It does need someone else of the same mind. It needs a sense of commitment from both sides. Maybe it just never came my way.’
’Maybe you are just too particular.’
’Maybe but I don’t think so. I mean, I haven’t been looking for a handsome prince or anything out of a fairy story, just a decent man who would love me for what I am. It doesn’t seem to be a lot to ask.’
’Most things in fairy stories turn out to be pretty grim,’ said Gabrielle. ’Decent men, on the other hand, don’t seem to be so uncommon. There are two in this house now, unless Tom’s gone home already.’
’And not so common either.’ The tone of her voice gave her away.
’Oh ho,’ Gabrielle exclaimed. ’I sense a mystery here.’
’No, there’s no mystery.’
’Natalie, I’m more often on my own than in company. It gives me lots of time to think and analyse. I can usually see below the surface of what people say and pick out what they really mean. What happened? Did he leave you?’
Natalie stared at the younger girl with a blank expression, wondering how her defences had been breached so easily. She had worked hard over the years in order not to let her feelings show.
’Don’t tell me if you don’t want,’ said Gabrielle. ’It won’t go any further if you do.’
’Well,’ said Natalie slowly. ’Well, there was a man once, but he didn’t exactly leave me, at least not in the way you probably mean. I left him.’
There was a long silence.
’Go on,’ urged Gabrielle. ’You can’t leave it there.’
’I’m not sure it’s suitable for the ears of a seventeen year old girl.’
’I already told you I have no shame. In fact, that’s true, I have none at all. Nor am I just talking about a sense of shame when it comes to asking people awkward questions.’ Gabrielle hesitated a moment to collect her thoughts. ’What I mean is this. All my life as far back as I can remember I have been ill. I’ve had needles and tubes stuck into me until I looked like a porcupine. I’ve been in and out of hospitals so often I got to know everyone by name. I’ve had so many operations I’ve lost count. This is not a bout of self pity by the way, I’m just stating facts. The point is that I’ve been poked and prodded in every aperture so often I’ve come to look upon my body as a vehicle for the real me. There’s no sense of shame about it.’
’That’s probably a good thing in itself, Gabrielle,’ said Natalie. ’I’m not quite sure what you are driving at yet.’
’Just this,’ the girl replied. ’Sometimes I can manage to fend for myself but most of the t