“What’s troubling you?” asked John one day as he heard Amy sigh.
“Nothing.”
“Come one, tell me,” he touched her hair and tried to comfort her.
“I want to study at Princeton University,” answered Amy.
“Why?” John asked as he gently kissed her hair.
“Because it’s here, and you’re here,” replied Amy, looking into his eyes.
“With your academic grades and being the student club’s president, that shouldn’t be a problem. And we can still be together,” John smiled.
“My father wants me to apply for Stanford,” said Amy with sadness in her voice.
And she didn’t need to say any other things. John knew her parents, they decided everything and the plan must be followed. That’s how Amy had been living her life, under her parents’ so-called guidance. John knew he couldn’t do anything to help her; this feeling of helplessness was what he hated the most. At that time, John didn’t know that things would only get worse from that point onward.
Amy’s mood only became gloomier as the graduation day came closer; everyone was about to go on their own paths, chose different universities or careers; some were in a down mood because of leaving high school, some couldn’t wait to escape this hell; only she didn’t know what to expect. John watched Amy be beset with her unfulfilling wishes every day and it killed him slowly that he couldn’t do anything for her.
“Tell me, what can I do to help you?” asked John as he caressed Amy’s cheek.
“What can you do, you can’t even take care of yourself,” Amy sighed and avoided his caresses.
“What do you mean by that remark?” he grimaced.
“Nothing. I just mean it would be much easier if you could go to Stanford.”
“Going to Stanford? Like your Chris? I should always excel in school, be the football team’s superstar and a manwhore?” John asked mockingly.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” Amy said, feeling a bit pissed off.
“I don’t know what you mean anymore, Amy. You know all too well how different we are. I’m not the Stanford-type of guys. And I’m not asking you to sacrifice your future for me,” then John left. It was the first time they had ever fought. He didn’t reply to her texts, calls, or find her at school for three days until she came to find him at his apartment one raining night, looking like she had just fought through a battle to be here.
“What happened?” John almost growled through his teeth as he pulled her inside, rushing to give her a dry towel and clothes. While Amy was changing clothes, John made a cup of hot cocoa, her favourite drink, for her.
“I had a quarrel with my father. I told him I wanted Princeton and he said he didn’t want a daughter like me. So I left,” Amy told John what happened.
He hugged her tight and sniffed the smell of her hair like he always did. John was so surprised at what Amy’d just told him that he didn’t know what to say. They had been dating for a few months and John thought he knew Amy well enough not to expect something like this. Amy wasn’t an impulsive girl, she had her well-thought plans for most of the things in life. She had always been very calm and rational. They even joked sometimes that she had a 71-year-old soul inside a 17-year-old body. For her to do something like objecting to her dad was simply astonishing.
“Can I stay with you for a few days?” asked Amy.
“Yes. Stay as long as you want.”
“Thanks,” murmured Amy as she rested her head on John’s chest.
Amy realized, for the first time, she had someone to turn to when she was in need. Completely contrasting to his attitude toward other people, John always mollycoddled her, being as much affectionate and gentle as he could be to her. All of those tenderness made Amy gradually forget her initial intention, she hadn’t intended to stay in this relationship for this long. Sometimes she started at the realization of how deep she had been involved with John; for her, John had already acquired the status of a craving; unconsciously she had fallen deeply in love with John; and those moments of realization tortured her, her stomach turned in knots and she felt the urge to just get away from everything, from John. Sometimes life was very generous as it would grant you what you were wishing for. And Amy had her wish granted.
If there was someone who loved you insanely but didn’t have the heart to encumber you, how would you feel?