Chapter 5
Veraclare
The ship made its way through the large asteroid belt-called the Hull Buster-that surrounded Veraclare. Veraclare was where the holograms of famous celebrities lived and continued their incredible artistic work. Many of the celebrities wished they could go there and see it firsthand, but they knew there were too many drama crazy fans there to go. It was dark red on one side; and it was dark green on the other.
It had a vast desert there-The Endless Dry Gulp-that formed after the first civilization ruined the world, and died off. They had been there millions of years earlier; and every so often one of their odd looking skulls or skeletons would pop up in weird places (a church bathroom).
The green section was as lush as you could want, with vast manmade streams and huge trees. The trees were called Olarts-from the word Olartic meaning round and bent-and they reached for the sky; only to reach back for the ground at the top. You could literally walk onto the top of one tree from the grass surrounding it.
“We’re someplace, is this really it?” Jen asked as her eyes drank in cup after cup of Veraclare. “I do hope so, with all the money we paid and the almost dying thing and all,” Jen joked as she watched the ship pierce the atmosphere; and suddenly there were lights everywhere you dared look. It looked as though there was a movie premier-on the largest scale imaginable-happening all over Veraclare.
“Wow, is that it?” Jim asked in disbelief, his hands barely able to stay still (he knew times like these were worth all the hard work in the world). “It really is impressive. I guess if you have ah, all these celebrities, they would want the best. Man, look at all the different lights and ships flying all over. I guess this must be it, or it’s human sacrifice time for Fred,” Jim said sarcastically as he looked at a large floating casino (it was shooting multi-colored 3 dimensional beams into the sky and had the words BIG TEX KNOWS HOLD EM, SO GRAB A HOT DOG STICK ALREADY.. He wondered if they’d find their way there at some point.
“Its way better than I thought,” Scott had his hands on his calves as he stretched out. “Look, they have actors on anti-gravity cars streaming through the sky,” Scott said as he eyed several hundred different celebrity impersonators, flying around and doing classic scenes from the full movie lexicon.
Jen saw this and prayed she would see the Ben lookalike; but she couldn’t see one as hard as she looked. Then they heard a classic theme song from the movie Let’s Rob a Bum-newish movie that followed lowlifes as they robbed the homeless (and mostly got beaten up by them). It sounded like a trio of guitars intermingling with a classic piano. It soared through the air, and they all smiled at this (having loved the movie).
“Huh, now I feel truly at home,” Jack continued after catching his breath. “I got my beer, pop culture, and my beer again,” Jack said jokingly as he sipped his beer (he had dreamed of this moment, but it was better than he had dreamed it to be). Jack looked down at the different layers of the main city of Romer; as it passed by the outside of the ship. Jack really wanted to act some scenes with Ben Train above anyone else. Even though, he also wanted to do a scene from a Marylyn Monroe movie (just to size her up).
“Beer, your man boobs, nervous laughter you’re good to go,” Fred said sarcastically as he kept looking down. They all laughed at this; as Jack looked at Fred like he was nuts.
“Fred, laying the smack down,” Jim put his arm around Fred and grinned. “I didn’t know you had it in ya, good work. I wasn’t going to mention, Jack’s MAN boobs, but I’m glad you did,” Jim said as he rubbed Fred’s head; and he mentally got ready to unleash his technique on Ben Train’s character. He knew he could do more than just hold his own (especially in the market scene). And he was dying to show it.
“Fred, you’re acting like a cool guy, why are you lying to us?” Jack asked as he saw a 500 foot James Dean hologram trouncing the hordes of people (most of which were laughing like little naughty children). “Maybe you should take off Jen’s underpants and sing LIKE YOU MEAN IT?!” Jack asked as he stood there with his hands in his pockets looking at Fred.
Fred squirmed at this-he did this as a reflex to keep people at bay-and worried his own joke wasn’t as good as he had thought. Then Fred offered Jack his hand and said warmly,” Truce?”
“Truce,” Jack said as he took Fred’s hand.
“Hey, enough of this truce stuff, let’s start thinking about where we wanna go first,” Jim said as he leaned back from the window; and he started to take a few deep breaths (he knew the moment was coming).
“They said we could go wherever we want,” Jen said as she watched scores of people going through the holographic Oscar’s awards ceremony (all of them winning of course and giving their speeches tears and all). “And, they said we’re staying for a week, so it’s go time. I just want 10, or 20 hours with Ben. I truly believe if I act with him he’ll crush Beth. And I’m always right, even when I’m wrong,” Jen said as she ran her hands through her hair sideways. Then she hopped up and down as she held Fred’s arm. She was happy and excited to finally see it all.
“Yeah, and we will, no rush,” Jim said calmly as he looked briefly at Jen; before seeing a cruise ship filled with tourists go flying past (it looked like a red version of the Titanic, only larger). “I say today we go and just scope out Ben, ya know. And then tonight, or tomorrow morning we go for it. Think about it, there’s probably a line. Right, there’s gotta be,” Jim explained as he worked on his diction and controlled breathing. Jim walked back from the window casually; and then jumped up and down a few times. He was giddy with anticipation, as he knew he was going to nail it. And then Fred looked and saw the hotel they were going to be staying at-the Regatta Prime-rise out of an active (but controlled) volcano.
The Regatta Prime tallied up some 1 and a quarter miles into the sky. It looked like a jigsaw puzzle-jutting out in odd directions-that was spiraling out from the center on the ground floor. There were lush gardens all around the outside of the hotel; as well as swimming pools where the water was held up over the ground below with anti-gravity. If the thing shut off, you fell like a pop star’s career after a murder conviction.
“I love it here, I just love it,” Scott said his tone making everyone chuckle a bit, as he seemed a tad overanxious. “Jim, I think you’re right. We go over there first, because you probably have to take a number. And if we do-we’ll at the latest-be able to go there tomorrow morning. Which, if you think about it would work out well. Seeing as we’d be rested and ready. But what about food, do we eat now?” asked Scott as he couldn’t contain his glee. He looked around the Regatta Prime-his eyes on every person situated on their decks-and they flew down through the circular center. Scott knew he was finally home.
The ship took a left hand turn, sputtered, and then slid into a parking slot. The ship skidded off the ground unexpectedly; sending everyone flying to the floor in a tangled heap.
“What the crumb lunch is that?” Jen asked in disbelief, her body lying flat on the floor. Then she picked herself up, looked at everyone, and helped Jim off an empty beer can (it was sitting on the floor from the night before).
“I’ll tell ya what that was, a drunk ship captain,” Jim spoke his voice less funny but agitated. “And not only drunk, probably asleep at the wheel,” Jim joked only halfway kidding; as he rubbed his back where the beer can had poked into his skin, and made an impression. Jim wanted to punch the ship’s captain good and hard, but he’d wait until they got back to do it.
“I don’t know what happened, but the ship is smoking, look there!” Jack said, as he pointed to a plume of smoke coming from beneath the ship.
“Then let’s get out of here,” said Scott quickly as he looked for his bags. “Grab your shit, and let’s roll!” Scott said excitedly as he watched the smoke triple by the second.
No one told Scott he was right, they just got up, and ran over to where their luggage was. They grabbed everything-including their cash-and raced off the ship. When they got off they saw most of the other passengers-through the thick smoke-already off and running away from the ship.
“I think it might blow, let’s motor!” Jack cried as he dragged his luggage through the-gold encrusted with white marble floors-landing area. They came to the first of the blue carpets (as the staff called them due to their regal hue and how much they hated vacuuming them). They called them that as well, because each one signified a billion people having stayed at the hotel in the past 200 years.
Jim looked back and saw Captain Icabod Soft being dragged off the ship, gasping for air, as several firefighting-dark red and in the shape of a bowling pins-robots entered the ship.
“Man, the stuff you see when your eyes are shut,” Jim muttered to himself, but Jen heard it and squeezed his right bicep.
“I love that line, and you delivered it as good as you could,” Jen replied happily as she smiled up at Jim. “I mean come on, that’s Ben’s line, Jim,” Jen said as she gazed up at Jim; and they ran into the great gathering hall together.
They looked up and saw 600 diamond chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, with shards of light shining through them all. There were anti-gravity elevators all along the wall; disguised as famous paintings. When you walked up to one, the painting dissolved into an entrance.
“It looks like we’re not dead,” Jack remarked.
Scott set down his bags, slowly looked up, and stopped dead in his tracks. There in front of him was the hologram for Marlon Brando-from the movie The Godfather-having a drink. He looked at the hologram of Marlon; and he felt every inch of his nerve disappear. He had never seen an actor that commanded so much space before. Jim looked up as he set down his bags; and casually walked over to Brando.
“I see, you’re a new one, sucks being you,” Brando spoke with a disdain for Jim. “Go ahead, lay it on me!” Marlon drank his wine like he picked the grapes himself.
Jim looked around, waited just a moment, and then riffled through the 5 sequels to the Godfather (all of which they had made after Marlon’s death using his hologram and lifeforce). So many lines he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to blow it.
“Is it really death for them all, or can we bury them first?” Jim asked philosophically as he tried to control his breathing.
Brando looked at him with dead eyes. Then Marlon tossed the glass of wine over Jim’s head, startling him.
“You can take their place!” Marlon said coldly as he fingered a gun in his pocket. “I have no problem with that. Just turn that stupid head…and I’ll put flowers in your hair,” Marlon was a little bemused by Jim’s ego; as he walked up to Jim and pulled out a small brown pistol (with a leather grip reading THE BEST OF US WERE ALWAYS DEAD). Jim recalled the right reaction, and continued getting physically and emotionally smaller. Jen watched in awe; as Jim took over his part of the scene.
“This is so awesome, Fred,” Jen said excitedly her hands on Fred’s shoulder as she rested her head there. “I love this,” said Jen as she smiled a little and watched Marlon trying to turn Jim’s head around (to kill him of course). Jim had a new wrinkle. He decided he wouldn’t just casually turn around at all. Instead, he was going to fight Don Corleone to the last.
“Take your flowers, and shove them UP YOUR ASS!” Jim shouted as he pushed Marlon. “I’m not scared of you, you’re old hat. Nothing, but an old fart bag,” wisecracked Jim with a smug smile. “I’m embarrassed to talk to you criminal man,” Jim said snidely as he pushed Marlon back again (this time Marlon catching himself). Then Jim tried to knock the gun out of his hand, but Marlon hid it away behind his back.
Marlon waved the gun in front of Jim several times, barely showing emotion, with Jim batting at it every time unsuccessfully. Marlon laughed and said sternly,” You know the gun don’t hurt ya, it’s the lack of air that kills ya like Sunday service. I knew you’d be a hornet in my shoe, but not the right one. Tell God I’m doing just fine, depending,” Marlon didn’t have to act this one he owned it, as he smirked with a rabid dog’s lip; and looked up at Jim from a lowered left shoulder.
“Depending on what?” Jim growled his eyes never leaving Marlon.
Then Marlon shot Jim 5 times. Jim shook and fell to the ground, and Marlon said snidely,” How good you are at catching a bullet, CRATE BARON. Worthless tie salesman, I buy my OWN TIES NOW!” snapped Marlon sharply as he kicked Jim viciously in the head; and he took the bullet casings from the pistol and let them all fall on Jim’s head.
The crowd that had formed-it was roughly 50 people-started cheering and giving Jim and Marlon a round of thunderous applause. Jen watched Jim lay there motionless-Jim had holographic blood and wounds-and she thought he looked sexy. She knelt down, chuckled, and slapped Jim gently on the cheek.
Jim let a slit open in his left eye; and he shook his head no and then whispered,” Not yet, I’m loving this!”
Jen stood up, brushed off her hands, and walked back from Jim as she tried not to laugh (she couldn’t help it though). Fred looked at Jim laying there motionless-not even his chest was moving up and down due to a technique Jim had mastered-and Jim looked like he was actually dead and gone. Fred couldn’t help marveling at this. Fred wondered how he had pulled that death off firstly; and secondly where he got the balls to go off script with fucking Brando.
“Man, woman, child, they know only breathing,” Marlon confessed as he dropped the gun onto Jim’s chest. “Me, I know why they don’t,” Marlon stepped on Jim’s back and walked off into the large dining hall. Once he entered the dining hall, a man in a yellow suit named Ed Foxx came up to him-he obviously wanted to bask in Marlon’s glory-and Marlon pushed him away as he laughed and said sternly,” steal somebody else’s scene.”
They finally got Jim up, and congratulated him on holding his own with Marlon. They entered the elevators, started silently smiling to themselves, and went up to their suites (Jim got everyone upgraded so they could all be close together and hang. The money didn’t matter).
In Jim’s suite, everyone was sitting on the floating white swan shaped couch, with Jim taking a shower. They were watching acting tips from the hotel management on the hotel channel of the TV (Prime Talent Airways). It showed a young red haired actor going up against Leonardo Dicaprio in the film The Great Gatsby. Everyone could see he was obviously nervous as the poor neighbors. Then Leo crushed him with a few well put moments. Jen watched this and said in disbelief,” These fake actors aren’t even good in this crap. Yeah, just let him walk all over you, good strategy, Pal.”
“I love that movie, but I hate these acting tips,” Jack responded with his eyes shut. “I mean I hate to say it, but Jim had the right idea. Just go for it, and see what happens. I’m dying to get someone GOOD in a scene,” Jack was already playing out emotional responses in his mind for later. “Actually, someone great, that’s why I came anyway,” Jack said his eyes darting around the room. “I’m wondering if we should stop watching this, because it might ruin our acting reality threads, ya know?” Jack asked as he ate a small meatball sub-the size of a cheeseburger at McDonald’s-and crossed his legs on the edge of the couch.
Jen saw the red haired man get thrown out the window by Leo, and she laughed and said happily,” Yeeaahh! This is way bad. I’m embarrassed now, and I just need to forget I ever saw this. They should have different levels they teach you.”
“What do you mean?” Fred asked while he sat back and stretched out his arms over his head.
“Ya know, like have some of the best ones on one channel,” Jen continued her hands doing most the talking (intentionally to prepare her gifts). “Then some medium level actors like Val Kilmer on another channel. And then this loser on the last one,” Jen said as she stretched out her neck. “It would be better, and better is good we know this. I’ve had kinda good, not as good as better,” said Jen as she was intentionally babbling to calm everyone’s nerves. “Even best, I don’t mind so much, but suck I do. And now that we’re talking about suck, Fred, go suck a pie out of the fridge for me, please?” asked Jen warmly as she smiled at Fred and wrapped her legs around him.
They could hear Jim singing-Something in the way she moves by the Beatles but with his own lyrics-and it sounded pretty damn good.