I felt a shimmering glow on my face and smelled salt water. A relaxed sensation ran through my body as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I felt happy. I heard waves folding across pebble stones and knew that I was by the seaside. The shimmering glow I had felt were reflections from the sun bouncing off the water. The sea air was filled with the loveliest aroma of a salt and flowery fragrance. I felt the water touching my bare feet from the small waves rushing in and out, like a beautiful rhythm of the sea. I looked out across the magnificent ocean before me and for a moment I was totally present. I felt at one with it all, every scent magnified, just breathing and feeling love.
I looked to my right and saw, to my delight, Erin. She was sitting down on the beach picking up pebbles and studying them closely. I walked up and sat down next to her. She looked up and seemed as though she was surprised to see me at first, but happily so. A big smile and wide eyes met mine as she dropped the pebble, ran over and threw her arms around me.
“Mummy!!” she yelped. “You’re back!” It took me a second to understand what she meant. Hadn’t I always been here? Then it dawned on me. Fear and sadness slipped back into my thoughts. For a moment I had forgotten that I was dreaming. I was so happy, so peaceful. This was a dream that would end. I would wake up soon enough and Erin would not be with me and Peter. She would still be missing. Still lost. Was she really here with me now? Was she somehow in-between worlds like Peter and I had once been? Was it all just wishful thinking? Even if she was in-between worlds like Peter had been, where was her physical body? Was she stuck in some coma at some creep’s house or in the woods or God knows where. How would she then have survived? My head started to hurt with the worry.
“What is it mummy, you look sad?” she said looking slightly sad herself.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I said putting on a smile. It didn’t really matter what this was. It felt incredibly real to be here. I had to enjoy the time I had with my daughter despite it being real or not.
“So what do you want to do now?” I asked, putting aside my emotions and focusing completely on my beautiful Erin.
She looked thoughtful for a couple of seconds and then smiled as if she had come up with a brilliant plan.
“Let’s fly!” she said looking at me and waiting eagerly for my response.
“That sounds like a perfect plan,” I said, leaning in closer to Erin. “Where do you want to fly to?” “High up, I want to touch the clouds!” she said excitedly.
I got up and held out my hand for her.
“Well what are you waiting for?” I said playfully. “Yay,” she said springing up off the ground. Her light pink dress slightly wet at the hem from the waves that touched the shore.
We both looked up towards the few fluffy glowing clouds above.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Ready,” came her reply.
We did as we had done when we had met in the park. We counted to three and kicked off of the ground. We bounced high first and stayed still in the air, about thirty feet up, just feeling the lightness of our bodies and the floating sensation before willing ourselves to fly higher, our light dresses giving off little waves as the wind hit us. Erin was closing her eyes enjoying the feel of the wind on her face and letting me take charge of the flying. The shore got smaller and smaller as we got higher up in the sky. The sea was twinkling like stars as the sun hit it and I saw sea creatures arise to the surface, mostly dolphins. They were singing to us. I looked back up to where I was heading, also enjoying the warm air on my face like Erin was.
We eventually got close enough to a cloud to touch it. Erin opened her eyes. The cloud was shining like stars, almost diamond like. It was giving off rays of light that touched Erin’s face making her eyes shine brighter then I had ever seen before. They were mesmerising.
“Do you want to touch it?” I asked. She nodded her head gently before carefully and gently holding out her hand and touching the glow before her. Little starlike sparks puffed out, flew around Erin and found it’s way back into the cloud. It was as if it was saying hello. Erin burst out laughing, she was ecstatic.
“It’s alive,” she said with wonder.
“Yes it is,” I answered her. I was smiling wide now, taking in her joy.
She touched the cloud again and this time the whole cloud started swirling gently around us both, as if it was dancing with us. As it slowed down and swirled back into itself we found ourselves much higher up. We were no longer flying. We were floating. Floating above our planet, only it didn’t look quite like planet earth anymore. I couldn’t see any cities shining up with little lights where the sun wasn’t hitting it. The continents didn’t look familiar and it seemed more colourful somehow. I felt intrigued by it and curious.
Erin pulled my hand leading me towards the planet. She didn’t seem bothered at all that we were floating in space. It seemed so natural to her, like she knew that she was safe. I thought back and remembered the dream I’d had with Peter when we had flown to the moon. I had felt a little scared at first but Peter had made me feel so safe and at ease at that time. I wasn’t scared now because I knew it was a dream, although I felt butterflies in my stomach when we were heading towards the planet at high speed, but that was due to the excitement more than anything else.
As we got closer and slowed down we saw all the forests and creatures from all the books I had read for Erin. There were unicorns, ponies, wizards, friendly trolls, singing birds, all different kinds of animals and fairies, to name but a few. It felt like a mix of all of Erin’s favourite books.
“Erin, is this all you? Did you create this?” I asked curiously.
“Yes, I think so. Isn’t it cool?” she said as we were getting closer to a large field filled with different coloured flowers, if that was what they were. “It’s amazing Erin,” I said as we landed in the field on soft ground. I took a closer look at the flowers and realised that they weren’t flowers at all. They were tiny people, about up to my knee in hight, all in vivid coloured clothing. I recognised them from a book that we had read about forest people. They looked up at us with their friendly faces and greeted us.
“Hello,” said a chubby little middle aged woman wearing a long dress in sandy pink.
“Hello,” Erin and I said in chorus. I had to bend down to get closer to face level with the little woman.
“My name is Alex and this is my daughter Erin,” I told her.
“I’m Margret,” she said with a high pitched voice that sounded more like singing than talking. “Would you like to join us for the pink moon feast?” she asked us eagerly.
Erin looked right at me and put her hands together. “Oh please mummy, please can we go?” she begged.
I laughed a little.
“Yes, of course, that sounds lovely. We would love to join you!” I said turning my head to the little lady.
“Then follow me. We were just picking some berries on the field for the feast. All other preparations are nearly done. The pink moon will present itself in about two hours. It should shine extra bright tonight!” she said cheerfully. This time her voice really sounded like singing.
We followed her into the woods. The trees were huge even for us, and it was spacious in between the tree trunks.
“It’s not far,” she sang, walking remarkably fast for such a small person.
No more than five minutes later we arrived at the cutest little village I had ever laid my eyes on. The cottages all had grassy green roofs and red wooden walls. The doors were white with beautiful golden handles that looked as if they had been crafted by angels. The houses were situated not only on the ground, but in the trees as well. They had wooden stairs, ropes and slides that they used in order to get up and down to their homes. I felt something pulling my dress and looked down to see the cutest little child. His eyes were enormous and vivid green. His hair was blond and messy. He couldn’t have been more than five or six years old from a human perspective.
“Mummy, can I go play with him?” Erin asked.
“Well, would you like that?” I asked the little boy.
He nodded shyly.
“Come on then, do you want to show me around?” Erin said to the boy with a soft voice.
He let go of my dress and took hold of Erin’s finger, dragging her along.
“Don’t wander off Erin, stay close, ok?” I said, feeling a knot in my stomach. I wanted her to have fun but I also didn’t want to loose any time with her.
Margret, the lady that had brought us there, showed me where they were having the feast. She asked if I could help set up the tables on the path where I was standing. She pointed to some long, low tables and benches. I was more than happy to help and also thankful that the benches were small and hopefully not too heavy. There were twelve tables, each meant for ten people of their size. I carried the first one over and to my surprise they were light as feathers. They looked like they were made of wood but they felt like they were made of some other material, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I laid the tables out one after another and as soon as I was done, a herd of little people rushed around putting pots, pans and cutlery on them as well as decorating them with fresh flowers. The knives and forks were intertwined with stems of leaves. It looked delightful.
The small people kept up their pace, rushing along past me, everyone having a last minute task to do before the feast could commence. They didn’t seem stressed, more like a tempo they were accustomed to. Eventually they all started to gather. I looked around for Erin and saw her walking towards me. The little boy who was clearly smitten with Erin was running along after her. She sat next to me and the boy hopped up and sat right next to Erin. It was adorable.
After everyone had found their way to their seats they all fell silent. One stood up. It was Margret. “Let the festivities begin!” she announced as everyone cheered and raised their glasses. Music began playing from a band I hadn’t noticed was there before. They were a group of six small folk with messy hair in vivid orange colour. Two of them were playing the violin, one was playing a wooden flute, another was playing what looked like a small guitar, one was on a bass guitar and then there was the drummer. The music they were playing sounded happy and cheery. It was music that made you feel good, it had a sort of Celtic feel to it.
Everyone dug into the food. There were all kinds of greens, fruits, fresh bread and fish. It looked delicious and after having eaten until I literally couldn’t fit anymore into my stomach they brought out cakes of all colours. I ate some of that as well and every mouthful was unbelievably tasty. I felt as if I hadn’t consciously eaten for a very long time and now I was loving every mouthful. Even closing my eyes as the chocolate pudding melted in my mouth.
Margret came up to me and asked if I was enjoying myself. I nodded and smiled. “Yes, thank you. This is amazing. You are an excellent cook,” I said.
“Why thank you dear. We are all so happy that you could join us,” she said with a warmness that only a mother could give.
“Why do you celebrate the pink moon?” I asked her.
“Well, it is said that the pink moon answers all our prayers. Everyone here tonight will make a wish and the wish is sure to come true…but you must believe,” she said with a hint of mystery.
“Do they come true?” I asked.
“Indeed they do. During the last pink moon I asked for my boy Luke to find happiness again. He seemed so sad, and tonight I see him with your daughter and I have never seen him so happy”, she said and looked over at him, “so yes, sooner or later, what you ask for will happen…weather you want it or not,” she said winking at me. I would ask for Erin to find her way home to us again, I thought to myself. Even if it was just wishful thinking. I would believe it fully, like she had said.
“It’s arrived,” Margret said looking up at the sky. Everyone fell silent and was looking up into the night sky. I was the last to look up towards the sky and what I saw took my breathe away. The moon was massive and shining with a lovely warm pink colour. It seemed magical in so many ways. It was enormous and alive and it felt as if it was communicating with us.
I looked at Erin as she stared up at the big beauty in the sky, then she looked at me.
“Tell daddy I love him. He doesn’t need to be sad,” she said as I felt my heart drop. I put my hand gently on her cheek.
“Daddy loves you so much. He misses you.” I paused for a couple of seconds. “Erin, when are you coming back to us? Do you think you can find your way back home?” I asked her, hoping with every cell of my body that there was a way back. Erin looked at me with kind eyes, as if she was old and wise.
“I don’t think I’m allowed to go back. But it’s ok,
I’m happy here. I can use my imagination as much as I want. I miss you and daddy though but you can visit me anytime you like,” she said. I imagine that she thought that was possible.
“Who says you’re not allowed?” I asked “The angels,” she said.
“Do they tell you why?” I continued. “They just say I have to go home," she said looking back up at the big moon.
“Home to us??” I asked, foolishly praying that she would say yes.
“No mummy,” she laughed. “Home to where we all come from.”
I felt flustered and started to panic slightly. I put my hands on Erin’s shoulders and faced her towards me needing her full attention. “Erin honey, please find a way back to us. We love you so much!” I felt my eyes filling up with tears.
“Mummy,” Erin said with a beautifully soft voice.
“It’ll be ok. I love you.”