My head was throbbing after having fallen off the bed. I hadn’t gone back to sleep after it happened. Peter had stayed up with me tending to my wound and brought me ice when I needed more. He was very attentive and loving. I got the feeling it made him feel good to be needed. The bleeding had subsided almost immediately. It wasn’t a big cut so Peter had just put surgical tape over it after having washed it. There was a big bump there however and it hurt. Peter had given me some painkillers and was now holding me in his arms as we sat on the couch and watched morning tv.
“I want to go see dad today,” I said. I felt like I really missed him and I wanted to see how he was doing and if they had come to a decision on whether he was going to go home or stay at the hospital.
“Ok, do you want company?” he asked. On the one hand I really wanted him to come, we felt close again and I loved him being by my side, but on the other hand I needed some time alone with my dad. I wanted to ask him how he really felt about the whole situation he was in and I also wanted to talk about how I felt. When I was young we used to have these long chats. Sometimes we would go out for walks just him and me and I would tell him everything. He was so easy to talk to because he never judged me or tried to change me. Mum was more the type who would try and force you into being something you weren’t. It had been years since we’d had a good long talk like that. I had been too busy with Erin, married life and a job to even think about it. Peter was the one I would talk to about everything of course but still, I missed my chats with my dad.
“If it’s ok with you I think I’ll go by myself. I need some quality time with him. I don’t know how much longer he’ll be here?” I said with a lump in my throat.
Peter kissed my forehead.
“No problem sweetie. You tell your dad I said hi ok?”
I nodded my head and we sat in silence watching morning tv for a good hour or so before I got myself ready to head over to see dad.
I had an odd feeling as I left the flat. Like I was being watched again. I looked around and didn’t see anything at first. It was raining slightly and I didn’t want to stand there too long but I felt off somehow. I walked to our car and was about to open the door when I saw a shadow across the street. I froze. It had a cloudy substance to it with barely visible facial features but you could sense its presence, or at least I could. There was also a woman not far off. She looked a little lost. She saw me and walked over. She was extremely thin looking and I almost felt like inviting her up for a good meal. It looked rather painful. The shadow followed her and I backed away. She hadn’t noticed my reaction though.
“Do you know how to get to Chamberlain Road?” she asked…in a rude manner. I looked behind her where the shadow figure was standing, a couple of yards away. She saw me looking and turned around.
“What are you looking at?” she asked.
I felt terrified of it, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. “Hello?” she said again trying to catch my attention.
I blinked and looked at her.
“Ah…mm…Chamberlain Road is just up that street there, then it’s like a a five minute walk and the street will be on your right hand side,” I said as if I was confused myself and then looked back at the shadow. It looked like it was smirking at me.
The hairs on my arms stood right up.
“Thanks,” she said as she walked away. I swear I could hear her muttering something about crazy. The shadow followed her. I could tell that she had no clue about it following her and I wasn’t about to tell her. I’d scare her. If she didn’t see it herself she would most definitely think that I was crazy. I felt cold to the core. What were those things? Where did they come from? Why were they here? It was fear based, that’s for sure. Nothing good or loving was present in those shadows. They scared me. I knew for sure that I wasn’t dreaming. The psychics words ran through my head. ‘You have broken the veil between worlds… The shadow men are coming’. Were these the shadow men? What was I to do about that? And how the hell was I supposed to fix the veil that she was talking about?
How was that even my fault?
I got in the car feeling frustrated just thinking about it. The uneasy feeling that I had felt had now subsided. That poor woman. Being followed by that ’thing’. Surely she could feel its presence somehow? I started the car and drove off to the hospital. I had called my mum to check where she was. She was luckily elsewhere doing shopping. I needed dad on my own now more than ever.
I entered the room in which my dad was in. Tubes were taped to him. It hit me that those horrible looking tubes could be the only thing keeping him alive, but what was alive? what did that mean? Surviving is different from living and my dad didn’t want to simply survive. I saw it in his eyes. He looked forlorn, that is, until our eyes met and they lit up as they always did when he saw me or someone he loved. It felt familiar, the way he looked at me, but I had never felt the contrast so much before. Going from that first look to the other, it was like day and night. I walked over and gave him a gentle hug, not wanting to break any bones. He looked so fragile.
“Hey dad?” I said quietly.
“Hello darling,” he replied coughing slightly.
“Are they looking after you properly dad?”
“Och aye, I know I look like death warmed up but they do their best,” he said smiling cheekily at me. I smiled back.
“Don’t say that dad. You’re always handsome in my eyes,” I said, winking at him.
My dad smiled warmly at me.
“They are letting me go home tomorrow.” “Really?” I asked doubtfully, looking around at all the tubes.
“Yes, really. I want my own bed next to your mother, my own garden to look upon and enjoy the smells of, my own chair in the living-room, my own god-damn life back, even if it is a short one.” My smile disappeared and he noticed.
“Oh come on darling, Im just messing with you,” he said trying to lighten the mood but then he started coughing again. I reached for the water at his bedside table, offering it to him.
“Here dad, drink this.” He took the cup and drank. He then smiled at me again.
“Thank you dear. So any news about Erin? You know, I have this feeling that she is ok. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is but in my heart I feel it somehow,” he said looking away as if thinking of a distant memory.
I stood still and silent for a couple of seconds wondering how I was going to start this conversation without him thinking that I had lost my mind completely.
“Well dad, I want to tell you something… I think I have a sort of…gift.”
He was showing no facial expression apart from his clear undivided attention as he looked at me.
*Och aye translates into ‘Oh yes’.
I continued; “I’ve never told you how Peter and I truly met… Have I?”
“Well I thought it was because your sister Emma had a friend who had an older brother, Peter, that you met?”
“Yes that is true, but we met earlier than that,” I said looking at him. I felt a little nervous. I paused for a few seconds and then sat down on the bed beside him.
“I dreamt of Peter. I met him in my dreams before I met him in real life. I had never seen him before. The dreams were so vivid. At first I thought that they were just dreams… Wishful thinking you know, but they became so real, so intense. Part of me thought that I was loosing my mind you know,” I said laughing. “But I fell in love with him in my dreams before I met him here…in this world. I even painted a picture of him, that’s how I ended up meeting him. Emma saw it and thought that I knew him. She thought that we had met before.” My dad looked fascinated.
“That sounds like a proper love story if you ask me?” he said.
I held my hands together as in prayer.
“Well, I’m getting dreams like that again.” “Are you falling in-love with someone else?” he asked looking a little worried.
“No no,” I quickly replied, understanding how it must have sounded. “I dream of Erin.” My dad’s eyes popped open.
“So you also feel it?” he asked.
“Yes…yes I do,” I said as my eyes started to water, but not from sadness, from hope.
I started telling him all about my dreams with Erin. Our amazing adventures to other planets and beautiful fairy trees. I then told him about the last dream I’d had where I couldn’t get hold of her and the frustration of it all. My dad looked fascinated by my stories.
“Do you think she is lying in a coma somewhere as well, like Peter?” he asked.
“No… I don’t think so… I don’t know what to think. I mean, I don’t even understand how she got out of the flat, let alone if she wandered off somehow and ended up in a coma. No, I think there is something else to it. But dad… I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m loosing her now,” I said as a couple of tears managed to escape my eyes. I felt so small, like I was a little girl beside my dad and the only one who could help me was him.
“Oh darling,” he said gesturing for me to come closer. He wrapped his tired arms around me as best he could.
“I’m sure this is a good sign. You just wait and see.”
I knew he was comforting me with words neither of us knew were true but somehow it helped. Like when you are a child and your parents tell you that your cat had to go to a lovely cat farm to live with all his friends when in fact the cat got run over by a car. It was soothing and I took it all in as best I could.
A doctor walked into the room. My dad’s doctor. “Hello Will,” the doctor said cheerfully to my dad.
“Hello, you’ve met my daughter if I remember correctly?”
“Yes, yes I have. Hello! Your dad is a ray of sunshine on this floor,” he said winking at me as he shook my hand. I smiled, knowing how charming my dad could be. Then he looked back at my dad. “Well, here’s some good news for you,” he said, widening his eyes, “you, my friend, are going home tomorrow.”
My dad smiled wide. “You don’t say.”
“I do say,” the doctor comically replied. “You’ll get all the necessary medicine to ease the pain slightly and I’ll get a nurse to come and check up on you once a day to check your vitals and to make sure that you take your medication. There will be a direct number to that nurse as well, as she is directly assigned to you. You just call whenever you need her. Your wife has signed all the necessary documents… It took her a while and I must admit, she wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it but she signed them for you.”
My dad looked thrilled as he looked over at me.
“I’m going home.”
“I know we’ve been over this before,” the doctor continued, “but you have got to look after yourself Will. You could live longer than you think, just make sure you keep warm and stay away from people who are down with the flue or have a tummy bug…that sort of thing. Your body is working hard enough as it is. You need to listen to what your body is telling you Will. Rest is key.”
“Yes, yes, my dad said waving it off like it didn’t really matter. It annoyed me a little. I got the impression he wasn’t taking his health seriously at all.
“Dad!” I said a little angrily.
“Ok dear, no need to get cross. I get plenty of that from your mother.”
The doctor laughed at my dad’s comment.
“I mean it!” I said.
“Yes dear I know, I will look after myself as best I can”
“Ok then,” I said unfolding my crossed arms slightly.
My dad looked very pleased with himself. The doctor left the room.
“A nice old whiskey by the fireplace is just what the doctor ordered.”
“No he did not!” I firmly said.
My dad looked at me and smiled.
“You have to live Alex. You can’t go around all your life being scared of what might happen. I know your mother won’t allow it so I’ll have to wait until I’m on my own in the house,” he said looking like he was scheming something. I just rolled my eyes. My mother would go nuts if she knew what he was up to. But I wouldn’t tell her. I loved seeing my dad happy. It was like medicine to the soul.
“Home sweet home,” he said smiling.