Chapter 38
11:40 AM EST New York - Bear News Studios, Private Office off from Studio
I wandered down the hall from the studio and noticed a room with the door ajar. I pushed the door open some and realized there was no one in it. The only occupants were a desk and a couple of chairs. I felt I could probably use it without a problem. I entered, closed the door, and sat in one of the chairs, bowed my head, and closed my eyes. I wanted my thoughts to wander wherever they wanted to go. With my eyes closed, my mind was free to process all the events of the past few weeks and then focus on what was occurring today.
I made an effort to keep them closed then mouthed the following prayer: Dear God in heaven, and your son, Jesus. You have selected me to do your will and I am your willing servant. However, God, I am remorseful for I feel I am killing many people by my words and I am in sorrow. Yet I know that battles are not won without pain, fear, and loss. However, dear God, I feel for these people and I fear for them as well as my own family who are dispersed throughout my country. I am about to be questioned yet again by leaders who proclaim themselves men of God, but with whom I feel it is an occupation, not love of their God. I believe they are out to crucify me. Maybe not on a cross, but in opinion, and that will cause me to fail on the mission you have entrusted to me. Please give me the wisdom to carry on, to be able to answer the questions and withstand the temptation of running away. I thought Tribulation would come to pass someday, but I did not think I would be a primary player in its outcome. Your humble servant Lord, through your son Jesus Christ, I ask from you strength in these next few hours. These things I ask and pray for through Jesus Christ your son who will live forever and ever. Amen.
My eyes were still closed when I heard a knock at the door.