CHAPTER FOUR
Trouble in the Girls Locker Room
I.
The next morning, Chuck, Phil and I carpooled to school – I drove.It was the first day of our junior year, and we were looking to kick things off right.I had worked on my mustache all year long and finally had something to show for it.It wasn’t anything like Phil’s, but it was a very lightly shaded upper lip.The hairs were there, just not obvious enough yet; nothing that the naked eye could see.Phil said that would come in time.
Before my first class actually started, I met up with Mandy in the library.We stuffed ourselves in between the autobiographies and cookbooks for a small little make-out session.Mandy was the first girl I ever laid lips on, and I laid them down hard – lip-to-lip – locked and loaded.Ya know what I mean?
“It’s good to see you, funnel cakes,” I said as I looked into her eyes.She had grown up a lot.Working at Father Peanuts had only matured her, and I noticed other things were getting matured as well.Sometimes it made it hard to think straight – I just wished people could understand that, but no one gets me.
Mandy smiled, “How’s Nog doing?”
“He’s, well, you know.He’s as Nog as he can be.”
“How’s the rest of the team?How’re The Fellas?”
“Good.Phil’s recovered nicely – his mom still doesn’t suspect anything mechanical going on with him, so that’s good.Chuck and I are doing better.He said I’ve grown up a lot, so we don’t argue as much as we did last year.”
Mandy smiled and her eyes wandered off. “And how’s that girl…Adia, is it?”
Mandy knew what her name was.I didn’t understand why she always played it off like she forgot.Adia was a very memorable girl – who could forget her?I know I couldn’t.Not once.Beats me as to why Mandy constantly forgot.
“She’s great!We went to the moon together – that was her first non-simulated mission.She did a good job!”
Mandy nodded without saying a word.
The warning bell sounded throughout the school and left us with two minutes to get to our classrooms.
“What’s your first class?” I asked.
“Home Economics.You?”
“Astronomy 3000,” I smiled.
“Good luck, Scout,” she said.
“Thanks, ‘cakes’,” I leaned in to kiss her on the lips and she turned to the side and I lip-smacked her cheek.Cheek kiss?Eh, still a kiss!
Mandy walked away just as my cell phone buzzed in my pocket.I remained between the autobiographies and cookbooks for a moment as I pulled my phone out and saw it was an update from my Frog Nog app.I opened the app and noticed that Marco had sent out a memo to The Fellas.It read:
Fellas – good luck at school.Scout, knock ‘em dead!
Chuck, stay away from the flagpoles.Phil, salt your
bacon like a man!
-Marco
Speaking of bacon, our lunch period came quick and I was fortunate enough to share it, once again, with Chuck and Phil.Lamar even sat at our table with us this time.It was nice to have the gang all back together, now featuring Lamar.
I was sipping a Capri Sun and eating a spam and cheese sandwich as Lamar told us what he’d been up to all summer, aside from still rocking that 90s flat top hair-do.
“I started my own poop business,” he said out of the blue.We all looked at him, slightly confused.
“Can you expand on that a little, Lamar?” I asked.
“Yeah boi, it’s a dog poop business!” he said.“I call it Crapper Johns.Take a look at my biznack card!”
Lamar dealt us his business cards like he was a dealer at a blackjack table.I picked it up and looked at it.‘Crapper Johns’ was in bold letters at the top.A poop emoticon was underneath that along with his slogan: “You have 2 options. Number 1, call me.Or number 2…”
“Why did you call it Crapper Johns?” Chuck asked.
“Cause it sounded like crap,” was Lamar’s response.
“Is this local?” I asked.
“Yeah – I go all over King’s Town, scooping the poop for a measly $5!Ya can’t beat it, boi!”
“I guess not,” I said and I flicked the card back down onto the table.A hand rested on my shoulder and patted it a couple times.I looked up and saw Professor Nog standing there.
“Mr. Brooks, will you come with me for a minute.We need to discuss your midterm,” he said.
“Midterm?” Phil laughed.“It’s the first day of school, Nog.”
Phil wasn’t the best at picking up on subtlety.This was obviously Nog trying to secretly get me aside for some ‘business’.
“Philly,” I said, “I think this is something that needs attended too.” I winked at him, hoping he’d catch on.
Chuck knew right away and stood up.“I’ll come with ya.”
“That’s not necessary Mr. Taylor.I only need Scout,” Nog said.
“We’ll all go!” Phil said standing up as well.
“Yeah, boi!” Lamar stood up.
“Not you, Lamar,” Nog said.“The rest of ya’s, come with me.I have midterms to discuss.”
I stood up and shrugged at Lamar.“Sorry, bro.”
Lamar calmly sat back down and his excited smile disappeared.In that uncomfortable moment, we followed Nog and left Lamar alone at the table.I’m not going to lie - it was hard to watch.
II.
We ended up in Nog’s classroom.It was the same as ever; decorated with space pictures, planet names written on the board, large metal door in the back of the room…
We gathered around Nog’s desk as he took a seat.
“What’s this all about?” I asked.
“It’s about Raggs,” Nog said.
“That detective?” Chuck asked.
“Yessir.He left a message on my voicemail this morning, and said he’d be in around one o’clock to pull all three of you down to the principals office to ask you some one-on-one questions about Hix Blobson.”
“He’s going to attack us at school now?” I asked.
“No one’s attacking anyone, Scout.He’s just coming to ask you guy’s questions.But I can’t have that.So I’m going to play a little child-like game of ‘mixin’ it up’.He can’t question ya’s if he can’t find ya’s.”
I nodded along, trying to figure out what Nog was talking about.He continued:
“I’m going to write notes for each of you to attend different classes next period.They’ll each be signed by me, Professor Ed Nog, so you know they’ll be official.I already have them pre-written.”
Nog reached into his desk and pulled out three white slips of paper.He handed one to Chuck and said, “You’ll be in calculus, room 700, instead of government.”He then handed a slip to Phil, “You’ll be in detention.”
“Detention?What did I do?” Phil whined.
“Nothing, Phil,” Nog said, “you won’t actually have detention.You’ll just be there instead of Spanish 101 so Raggs can’t track you down.And Scout, you’ll be in gym.”
“Gym?” I pondered as I accepted the white slip.Me?Scout Brooks? Indulging in the physical arts?
“Yes, gym.Now ya better get moving.You have five minutes before next period starts.”
“Nog, I don’t even have a gym uniform!” I panicked.
“I got’chu covered, brotha,” Nog said.He reached into his briefcase, which was leaning up against the wall behind him, and pulled out a stained, white shirt and very short maroon shorts.“This is the official gym uniform I wore when I attended this school back in the day.There’s a lot of history in the uniform, Scout.A lot…”
I grabbed the clothes from Nog and winced.He really wanted me to wear a centuries old, used gym uniform?
“Now go, fellas.You now have four minutes.”
III.
As I pulled the shorts up over my boxers, I looked around the boys’ locker room and saw everyone else wearing normal gym uniforms.The school had changed colors since Nog’s era, so I was the only one in stained-white and maroon.Everyone else had blue gym shorts and gray athletic tees.
Some of the guys were laughing at me, but I tried to convince myself that they weren’t.
“Hey, Scout,” someone said.I looked up and saw Jeffrey Shuster approaching me with a basketball in his hands.“You’re not even in this class.”
“I have a note,” I said and lifted the white slip.
Jeffrey grabbed it and tried to read Nog’s scratchy handwriting.He laughed and tossed it to the ground and stomped on it.“What note?”
His childish comment got a rise out of the other boys.
“I’ll see you on the floor, Brooks,” Jeffrey said.“I’ll sink a three-pointer on ya, just like I sank your girlfriend last night.”
I stood up fast.“How dare you talk about Adia like that!”
“Adia?Who’s that?” Jeffrey laughed.“You mean, Mandy, you stupid idiot!”
Oh crap, that’s right.Mandy was my girlfriend.Then why was I always thinking about Adia, or some other girl? This couldn’t have been normal.I was probably coming down with something.
“He doesn’t even know his own girlfriends name!” another boy cried out as the entire locker room erupted in laughter.I was never going to live this down.Hopefully Mandy wouldn’t find out about this.
The locker room cleared out and I remained for a moment to regain my composure.I entered the gym like a sports star.The students had all formed a circle and I saw the buffed up, wrestler-style teacher in the middle of it.Beyond the circle was the varsity girls volleyball team – sweating.Their coach blew the whistle and said “Good practice girls!Now shower up!”
As I approached the circle with my note in hand, the girls volleyball team rushed by me and I got quick sniffs of perfume and sweat.I turned and watched them from behind as they all ran through the locker room door.My God – if I could only see inside that room.
“Who the heck are you?” the gym teacher, Mr. Ripped, called out, snapping me out of my tight-shorts scoping daze.I turned and faced the circle.Everyone’s eyes were on me.
“Uh, Scout Brooks, sir.I have a note.”I approached the circle, which refused to break for me, so I had to shimmy in between a couple of the kids.I handed the note to Mr. Ripped.
He grabbed it from me forcefully and read it.“Ha!What makes Nog think an astronomy teacher has authority over a gym teacher?
“Scout!” Mr. Ripped yelled unnecessarily loud and handed me back the note, “Get’cho regular clothes back on.I’m sending you back where you belong – art class.”
“You can’t do that, Mr. Ripped, I was sent here by-”
“Nog. I know,” Mr. Ripped said.“That’s not going to make me change my mind.He’s an astro-dweeb.Now go on, get out of here!”
I turned around and slowly walked back towards the locker room with my head hanging low in defeat.I released the note and it gently rode the air down and settled on the gym floor.I heard some kids laughing behind me, but refused to turn around.
I pushed through the door that said ‘locker rooms’ and entered a smaller room with the girls’ room to the left and the boys to the right.I bet that girls’ room smelled like roses, perfume and cinnamon – a very tempting combination of flavors.What harm could a quick little peek do?
I put my ear up against the girls’ locker room door and listened.I heard the showers going and girls giggling.I had to see inside.I pushed the door open just a tad and took a ‘lil peek.A warm steam blew into my face and to my surprise, the locker room didn’t smell like flowers or perfume at all.It was more of a musty, damp smell – more like a locker room.This couldn’t have been right.It must have been an off day in there or something.
I pushed the door open a little more and slipped inside and hid behind a giant rack of basketballs on wheels.I ducked down and looked through the basketballs and saw some of the girls in towels.Jackpot, brotha!
Between the heat from the steamy showers and my overwhelming-ness of being in parts of the school Chuck had only dreamed of, I started to feel a bit woozy.I sat back against the wall and blacked out.
The locker room door closing into place woke me up several minutes later.I looked around the rack of balls and noticed that the steam was fading and the entire room was quiet.I couldn’t help but wonder that, if I didn’t pass out, what wondrous things would I have seen?
I stood up and shook off my haze.Okay, it was time to get out of here before someone saw me.I stepped towards the door and heard a gross bubbling sound coming from behind me.I turned around.Could that have been someone taking a…nah, the room was empty.I heard it again and thought maybe it was my gaseous fumes.I sniffed around, but I was good to go.
The bubbling sound was coming from the shower area.I walked through the locker room and hung a left into the wide-open shower room.There were roughly twenty showerheads along the walls and a large drain in the center of the floor.The gurgling, bubbling sound was coming from there.I walked closer and looked into the drain.
Something was in there.It bubbled again and this time, a dark blue - almost purple - goo oozed out of it.I cringed, as it was the grossest thing I ever saw, and then quickly turned into the weirdest thing I ever saw.The goo formed itself into a jelly-like hand and reached for me as the drain made more of a growl than a gurgle.
I jumped backwards and splashed my butt down onto the floor.I saw the gooey hand form a fist and then retract quickly back into the drain, complete with a wet, squishing sound.A couple slight gurgles later, and it was gone.
Hix was back.
IV.
Once the bell rang to end the first day of my junior year, I was trying to track down Nog to tell him about the shower-drain incident.It was quite obvious that after months of MIA action, Hix was back, and he was slithering around the sewer systems like a chump.
I fought my way through the hordes of students and up the stairs to Nog’s classroom.The light was off and nobody was there.Crap.
I had made it the whole rest of the day without running into Detective Raggs too, just as Nog wanted.I wanted to tell him that, cause I thought he’d be proud of me.
Suddenly, a hand rested on my shoulder.I swore to God that if that was Raggs, I’d chew on Nog’s maroon shorts for five minutes.I slowly turned around – for dramatic fashion – and sighed in relief when I saw it was just Nog.
He smiled and said, “Good job avoiding Raggs today.”I nodded in return, still relieved that it was just -
“Avoiding who?” a voice questioned from behind Nog.My eyes widened as Nog turned around slowly.This time, it was Raggs.“Avoiding who?” he repeated.
“Uh,” Nog stuttered, “not who, but what.”
Raggs stood there and tilted his head, trying to understand.“Well, what is it?I thought I just heard you say Raggs.”
“Uh, no, I said, rags…” Nog continued.“Ya know, like torn-up washcloths?Scout…” Nog stuttered again, grasping for words – any words – “Scout seems to attract them for some reason that defies all logic.But, the boy was able to avoid them today.”
Like I said, he was grasping for any words.
“Well, I don’t know what that means,” Raggs said, “but good job, Scout.”
He patted me on the shoulder and I smiled. “Thanks.”
“I’m glad to see you’re okay, Scout. I was looking for you today.You weren’t in your class when I came to talk to you,” he said.
“Talk to me?”
“Yeah, I left Professor Nog a voicemail this morning and said that I was coming to interview you, Chuck Taylor and Phil Easton about Dr. Hix’s whereabouts.I came to your art class, where you were supposed to be patting clay, and you weren’t there.Actually, none of the students were where they were supposed to be.”Raggs smiled at Nog.“Do you know anything about this?”
“Hey,” Nog said, “if these kids are skipping classes, you need to talk to the principal.I’m just an astronomy teacher.”
“Exactly,” Raggs said, pulling a white slip out of his coat pocket.“An astronomy teacher who thinks he has the power to send random students to other classes to avoid detection…or…detectives.”
“Look, if these kids are forging my signatures on notes to get out of random classes…”
“Save it Nog.Save it and shove it.I know what you’re up to, and I don’t like it,” Raggs said, getting all in-your-face serious with us.“Someone at your little Fort Nog’s knows something about Hix Blossom, and I’m going to find it out.”
Raggs crumbled up the white slip and threw it on the ground before stepping on it, like he was putting out cigarette.He turned to walk away down the hallway, which had nearly cleared out of students, and then stopped.He turned back and smiled.“By the way, your records show that the day Hix went missing, he checked into the Fort, but never checked out.That’s protocol, isn’t it? Protocol that he put into place that very day?”
Nog and I nodded.
“That’s what I thought.Why wouldn’t he check out?You know, since he installed that protocol.”
We both shrugged.
“Also, that very same day, you fired a man named Maxwell Ferguson.Where is he now?I’d like to speak with him.”
“I don’t know what happened to Maxwell, that creeping freak,” Nog said.
Raggs smiled and nodded.“Good day, guys.”He turned around and left for good.
“That could have gone badly,” Nog said.
“Huh?It did go badly!He knows you wrote those notes.”
“He’s bluffing, Scout.”
“Bluffing about what?He knows we know, Nog!We know that now, ya know?”
Nog shrugged it all off.He clearly didn’t want to deal with this right now.“Did you need something, Scout?Why are you up here?”
“I saw Hix today.”
“Shh!” Nog freaked out as he dragged me into his classroom and shut the door.He flipped the lights on.“What do you mean you saw Hix? Where?”
“In the girls locker room.”
“Why were you in the -”
“Doesn’t matter,” I stopped him right there.“I heard a gurgling sound coming from the drain in the showers, and a purple, gooey hand reached out towards me.I fell down and then the hand went back into the drain and disappeared.”
“So he is traveling by sewer drain.That was the theory that I ran by Farrow.We need to send you guys into the sewers to look for him.”
“A mission?On Earth?”
“I know, an Earth mission seems a little out of this world, but this is an urgent matter Scout.We need to find out where Hix is, and what his current state is.Is part of him still alive?Or is he all blob now?”
Nog gathered his thoughts for a moment, and then continued:
“This weekend.We scour the sewers this weekend.I’ll draw up the mission plans tonight.”
It was Thursday, so the mission was right around the corner.One more day of school, and then The Fellas would be back in action.