CHAPTER FIVE
Blobbery Goo
I.
Mandy was working, so I picked up Chuck and Phil and we went to get a bite to eat a Father Peanuts.The place was hopping for some reason.We sat in the back corner booth, where Mandy was always assigned too.
“Did it smell like roses?” Chuck asked after I told him I was in the girls’ locker room.
“You’re missing the point, Chuck.Hix is back, and he’s not even a man anymore.He’s more like…some blobish creature stalking the depths of the sewer systems.”
“So, it’s up to us to eliminate any threat, I take it?” Phil asked.
“Yeah.Nog is coming up with mission plans, and we go into action this weekend.”
Mandy came over and pulled out her pad of paper.“Chuck, Phil,” she began, “what’ll it be?”
“I’ll take a peanut butter and ham please,” Chuck said.
“White, wheat or rye bread?”
“White wheat please.”
“And for you Phil?”
“Surprise me,” he said with a creepy smile.“I’ll eat anything.And a round of slushies for the table.”
“Okay,” Mandy smiled.
“Well, hey now, funnel cakes?” I said, grabbing her attention as she was trying to leave.“What about your ‘ol boyfriend here?”
“Oh, you’re my boyfriend?I thought you were Adia’s boyfriend.”Mandy was annoyed, as she should have been.But who the heck told her?
“Trouble in paradise, Scout?” a voice called out.We all looked towards the counter and saw Jeffrey Shuster and his pals sitting there.Jeffrey had become the new Radar.I wish I could just get rid of him too…
“Mandy, it’s not like that.It was a mistake,” I said.
“Scout, maybe you need to take some time to find out what you really want.Because I don’t want to waste my time with some boy who’s oogling other girls all the time.”
“But I’m a teenage boy!”
Mandy didn’t respond.She turned and left to place the order.
“So, am I not getting food?” I asked the table.
“Let it go, Scout,” Phil said, patting his hand on top of mine.
I sighed, annoyed, and sat back in my seat.I must have been the only guy going through this kind of mess.
“Excuse me,” a little boy tapped Phil on his arm.We all looked at him.He must have been around eight or nine years old and was holding a book in his hand.He held the book out, along with a marker.“Can you sign this for me?”
Phil grabbed the book and noticed that it was his book, Dragon Wind.Phil then smiled in a way I had not seen him smile before.He looked genuinely happy, almost like this little moment made his day.
“Sure,” Phil said.“What’s your name?”
“Marshall.”
Phil continued to smile as he popped the cap off the marker and signed the book, addressing it to little Marshall.Marshall smiled as he accepted the book back.
“Thank you,” he said.
“No, thank you,” Phil responded.
“I can’t believe your book is getting so much attention around here,” Chuck said.
“I know.It’s pretty cool,” Phil said.
I was happy for Phil, but I had other things on my mind.I looked over behind the counter where Mandy was placing the food order.I was hungry gosh darn it, so I snapped.I stood to my feet.“I want food, Mandy! Fooood!”
Everyone in Father Peanuts turned and faced me and the whole place became quiet.I didn’t have anything else to say, so I just stood there and faced her.I heard Jeffrey Shuster laugh.
I could see Mandy’s eyes begin to swell with tears.She dropped her order pad and ran into the kitchen, and out of sight.
“Great job, Scout,” Phil said. “Now we’re not getting our food.”
All the customers went back to eating their meals and chitchatting quietly.Jeffery Shuster stood up from his seat at the counter and walked over to our table; his buddies followed close.
“Sit down,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder and forcing me down into my seat.“You’re a loser, dude.A big old, farting loser.”
Jeffery and his friends turned around and left the restaurant.I could have sworn I heard their server yell out that they didn’t pay.
II.
Midnight rolled around, and I was wide-awake in bed looking at my phone.I was reading an on-going text conversation in the Frog Nog app between Nog, Farrow and Marco.They were discussing plans for our mission.It appeared Marco and Hastings were going to lead the mission into the King’s Town sewer system on Friday night.Chuck, Phil, Adia and myself would round out the rest of the team.
Nog changed the subject to his memoirs, so I turned the bright screen on my phone off and laid there, staring up at the ceiling.I couldn’t stop thinking about Mandy.I felt bad that I made her cry, but I was hungry.She couldn’t just not take my order because I was daydreaming about Adia today.God, some would jump to the conclusion that she was jealous or something.
My phone buzzed and I saw that I had a text.I opened it and saw it was from Nog.He had sent a mass text to all of The Fellas.
NOG: After school tomorrow, everyone meets at my house.The mission is a go.
I responded with a ‘K’.
I set my phone down on my nightstand and popped in my ear buds.I listened to some Iodine Eyes, and was finally able to get to sleep, like, two hours later.
The next day, I sat down in the cafeteria when lunch came.Chuck and Phil were already there.Lamar came minutes later.
“Guys,” Lamar said, shifty-eyed, “I saw a monster this morning.”
Chuck and I went wide-eyed and looked straight at Lamar, while shooting each other looks.Phil kept eating.
“What do you mean, Lamar?” I asked.
“I walked into the bathroom when I got here a little bit ago, cause I needed to use the urinal.But there was some kid already pooping in it.So I went into the stall and shut the door.I turned around and looked into the toilet, like I always do before I go, and that’s when I saw it.It was gross – a beast of alien consistency.It was thick, dark-colored – bubbles rose up from underneath it…”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just a poop,” Chuck asked.
“It had eyes, Chuck.Eyes that stared up at me with fear and anger hidden behind them.”
“Well, some poops have been known to -”
“It wasn’t poop, Chuck!I know what poop looks like - I’m in the business, remember.Plus, this thing was like, purple.”
“What did you do?Did you tell anyone?” I questioned him.
“No, I didn’t.I screamed and flushed it down the toilet.I didn’t really have to pee after that,” Lamar said.
“Well, don’t tell anyone,” I said.
“Why?Is there a cover-up?” Lamar’s eyes shifted again. He was wising up to mysterious knowledge.
“No, I just don’t think anyone will believe you.I don’t want you to be the poop kid that sees a monster poop and flushes it.People just won’t get that.”
“That’s a good call, Scout,” Lamar said, glancing around.“I’m going to see if it’s popped up in another toilet or something.”
Lamar swallowed his sandwich in one bite and scurried away to search the schools toilets.Chuck and I sighed in relief.
“Hix is getting closer.We don’t know what he’s capable of,” I said.We looked over at Phil, who was still eating.I don’t think he even heard a single thing that was discussed.He was devouring a greasy, boney…“Phil, what the blazes are you eating?”
“Frog legs.”
“Ew, gross, bro!How could you do that?That’s like…eating the wings of our ship.”
“It’s nothing like that, Scout.”
“It’s something like that!”
“Mmm,” Phil savored the legs.
Suddenly, Nog’s voice was in my head.Scout, can you hear me?
“What’s up, Nog?”
I’m trying to prove something to Farrow, via Face Chat, and I need my old gym clothes.Did you ever give those back to me?
“Oh crap, man, I think I left them in the locker room.”
Bring them to me.
III.
I walked down the hallway to where the gym was and pushed the double doors open.Mr. Ripped was in the middle of doing push-ups with an un-lit cigar in his mouth.He was yelling out random numbers…
“45!49!42!THAT’S YOU!” Mr. Ripped shouted at himself.He had really short gym shorts on, and no shirt.His muscles were covered in pulsating veins.And I could have sworn that the harder he push-up’ed, more facial hair was forced out of his chin and cheeks.
He stopped in mid push-up and looked at me.“Scoutness?”
“Um…I think I left Nog’s gym uniform here yesterday.”
“Nog’s uniform?That space dweeb?”Mr. Ripped stood to his feet and his six-pack and pectoral muscles glistened.It was intimidating.He could have given Schwarzenegger a run for his money.
I stood there and gulped loudly.
“You have a lot of bones coming back into my gym, Scout.If I had a shirt on, I’d be rolling up my sleeves, preparing to fight you,” he said.
I gulped again, as he stood there, towering over me.
“A gym uniform you say?”
I nodded.
Mr. Ripped then bent down and whispered in my ear.“I think I saw one in the locker room.”
I was terrified of this guy.I glanced over at the locker room door and then back at Mr. Ripped.
“Go on.Fetch the uniform, boy.Fetch it good,” he said, moving the un-lit cigar from one side of his mouth to the other.
I walked slowly towards the locker room.
“Oh, and Scoutness…” Mr. Ripped called out.
I stopped and looked back at him.He was now lighting the cigar and puffing the smoke.
“It’s in the boys locker room – not the girls.We all saw you passed out in there yesterday, ya weirdo.”
I took a deep breath and continued into the locker rooms.I pushed the door to the boys’ locker room open and immediately saw Nog’s uniform sitting in the corner of the shower room, soaked to the bone.
“Crap,” I muttered as I picked up the soggy clothing and rung them out over the shower drain.
The drain started to gurgle again.I dropped the clothes and backed up.There were purple bubbles foaming out of the drain.“Hix?” I called out.I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.I opened the Frog Nog app and selected ‘capture video’ and began filming the purple, foamy bubbles.More and more of the blobbery goo began to come out from the drain and began to spread like putty across the tile floor.
Behind me, the locker room door opened up and Mr. Ripped barged in.“What the heck is taking you so long?”
He looked passed me, and saw the giant, lively blob squirming up from the drain.I kept the video running.
“What the heck did you do, Scout?!” Mr. Ripped yelled at me.“Get out of the way!”
Mr. Ripped grabbed me by the back of my shirt and yanked me to safety, throwing me into the corner of the locker room just as the gooey beast launched itself towards us.Mr. Ripped stood strong as the blob wrapped itself around him and devoured him within seconds.I sat against the wall in the corner by the door and kept rolling film.Through the translucent goo, I watched as Mr. Ripped melted down to his bones and skull, and finally became one with the monster.
The blob then laid out flat on the shower floor and split into two.Both blobs stood up like small mountains, side by side, and I watched each of them extend tentacle-like arms towards me.I shoved my phone back into my pocket and stumbled to my feet.I reached for the locker room door, but was taken by surprise when the blobs released several tiny, squirmy worm-like creatures from themselves.Four or five of them slithered up to me and latched onto my legs.
I screeched loudly like a girl and did some sort of dancing jig to shake them off of me.They hit the floor and I stepped on one.I squashed it against the tile and it too split into two different squirms with minds of their own.
I quickly pulled the door open and escaped and shut the door.I survived.I walked back into the gym and sat against the wall, trying to catch my breath.
I needed to get Nog down here, and fast.
IV.
“So, you’re telling me my gym clothes are soaked to the bone?” Nog said as I stood with him in the now calm, quiet and empty boys locker room. “And Hix Blobsom was here?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Dang,” Nog muttered as he tickled the inside of his cheek with his tongue.“This situation is escalating faster than-”
“Faster than what?” a voice startled us from behind.We both turned around and saw the locker room door closing as Detective Raggs stood there, removing his hat.“What is this situation escalating faster than?” Raggs questioned again.
“Um, it was the, I had to,” Nog stumbled over his words.“These damn wash rags that Scout keeps attracting!”Nog stood back and pointed at me accusingly.
“Wash rags? Again, Scout?” Raggs asked me, kind of disgusted.
I had no freaking idea where Nog came up with this ‘wash rag’ nonsense.It didn’t even make any sense!How could someone attract rags?And why was…no, HOW was Detective Raggs even believing any of this?
“Look, I don’t know anything about this wash rag fetish Scout has,” Raggs explained, “but I just wanted to let you both know that I’m on to you.I’ve heard rumors that the man you fired, Maxwell Ferguson, is street trash now – homeless and living in some alley here in King’s Town.I’m going to track him down and learn the truth about Dr. Hix Blossom.”
We waited for him to continue.
“That is all,” he said, putting his hat back on and leaving the locker room.
“Why does he just randomly show up from time to time?” I asked.
“He’s trying to keep his significance, Scout,” Nog said.He put his hand on my shoulder.“As soon as school is out, gather everyone and come to my house.We need to resolve this thing.”