CHAPTER EIGHT
All Because of a Cup of Coffee
I.
I check my watch – 9:45pm – it was later than I thought.We were down in the sewers for a while.We all decided to take a break and regroup to catch our breath, assess our damage, and get a new plan in order.
We reformed in Old King’s Town.The streets were clear and the shops and restaurants were closed down for the night.The air was cool and the atmosphere was still and calm.For how long, we didn’t know.
We all sat on the sidewalk, up against Father Peanuts.I took a deep breath and looked down the line.Phil was next to me – he buried his face in his good hand.He had formed a tight bond with Marco as of late, so his death was hitting him hard.Chuck and Adia sat side by side, staring off into space.Chuck didn’t let up his grip on his gun, not even a little bit.
Hastings was on the other side of me.I turned to him.“What now?” I asked.
Hastings sighed heavily.“We need a new plan.The first one isn’t working out.”
“What do we do until Nog and Farrow can come up with something?” I asked.
“We wait, I guess.”
“But the Blobberous is loose in King’s Town.Someone else is going to see it, and if we don’t do something soon, it may take more lives,” I explained.
“I agree with you, Scout!But what do you want me to do?!” Hastings snapped at me.He closed his eyes and turned his head the other way.“I’m sorry.Marco was a good friend of mine too.”
I heard a sniffle and looked over at Phil.He was crying.I put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away.“Phil?” I said, taken aback.
I stood to my feet, the stars to my back.“Look, guys, we’re getting our butts kicked here, that’s no secret.But we need to stay strong and think of a way to stop that thing before it hurts anyone else.We’ve already lost Marco and Blorf – the casualties stop there, ok?No one else is losing their life tonight.”
“Blorf didn’t last that long this time, huh?” Chuck forced out a smirk.
“No,” I said.“No he didn’t.But don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll find a way to come back.He always does.”
I picked Marco’s banged up laser phaser up off the ground and slung it over my shoulder.“Everyone pick up your stuff.We need to go find that thing.”
A bright light in the sky caught everyone’s attention.We all looked up in the starry night sky and saw what, at first, looked like a comet shooting across the vastness of space.
“Great, what now,” I said.Hastings grabbed his gun, as did everyone else, and we all stood there, staring at the unidentified flying object.It seemed like it was getting closer and closer by the second.And then, it broke Earth’s atmosphere with a bright flash and a loud boom, and disappeared behind a tree line in the distance.
“What the heck was that?” Adia cried out.
“I have no idea.But whatever it was, Nog’s farm is back behind that tree line…” Hastings nervously said.“We have to make sure he’s okay.Nog?Can you hear me?”
We waited for Nog to respond to Hastings, but it didn’t seem that he was.
“Nog?” I said, trying my luck.Nothing.“Nog? Are you okay?”
Hastings and I looked at each other.
“I have to go make sure he’s okay,” he said.
I nodded.“We’ll try to track down the Blobberous.”
“Be careful, Fellas,” Hastings said.He then turned around and started jogging away down the middle of the street.
A hand rested on my shoulder.I looked and saw it was Phil.
“Scout, I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he said with tears still in his eyes.I just looked at him, trying to figure out what he was hinting at.
I nodded my head, not saying anything.
“I’m sorry,” Phil added.He then took off, jogging after Hastings.I turned around to the rest of my team.
“And then there were three,” Adia joked.
“Are you guys up for this?” I asked.
Chuck gripped his laser gun tightly.“Heck yeah, bro.Just like old times.”
Adia smiled and nodded her head.“I’m game.”
“Good,” I said.“Let’s move.”
I held my laser phaser out in front of me, and led the charge deeper into King’s Town.
II.
We stayed on the sidewalks through Old King’s Town because of the light that the old street lamps emitted.We kept a slower pace, that way we weren’t taken by surprise if the Blobberous Squirmhixicous popped back up out of nowhere.
“I didn’t know Marco as long as you guys did, but he was a good man,” Adia said.
“He really was,” Chuck said.“He had a thing for joking around with Phil.No wonder Philly’s taking it so hard.”
“And Phil was the only one who really appreciated his jokes,” I added with a laugh.
“Yeah, they were so lame,” Chuck said.
“Do you guys think Phil meant he was done with the EIA all-together?Or just this mission?” Adia asked.
“I think Philly is just having a hard time with losing Marco.Give him some time and he’ll be back in action.I can’t imagine the EIA without him now,” I said.
We came to the end of the sidewalk, crossed the street and wandered into the King’s Town Park.It was a couple blocks of green grass, benches and water fountains in the center of town.
“What happens if someone else see’s the Blobberous?” Adia asked.“I mean, the EIA wouldn’t be so secret anymore, right?”
“All the more reason to find that thing quick,” I said.
“Scout?” A familiar voice called out from behind us.We stopped and turned around.It was Palm Leafton – the comic book store-owner.He was in his jogging gear and ran up to us, keeping his pace by running in place.“Chuck too?What brings you guys out this late?Are those…guns?What’s with the get ups?A girl!?”
“Um, you know, were high schoolers, Palm.We’re just out playing guns.You know, cops and robbers-like,” I said, trying to cover up the fact that we were actually an elite team of science fiction heroes searching for a carnivorous blob that was created because of one mans ridiculous allergy to coffee.
“I hear ya, boys,” Palm said, still running in place.“I was a teenager once too.Lots of craziness to be had.”Palm looked at Adia.“My craziness never involved a female though.Props to you, Scout and Chuck.Props, indeed.Props all around.”
Palm put his fingers to his neck and felt his pulse.“Well, gotta get back to my nighttime jog.I’ll see you two at work tomorrow.9am sharp – don’t make me call your mothers.Oh, and stay away from the alley over there,” he said, pointing in the direction he had just come from.“Lots of weird noises and smells coming from that alley.”
Palm jogged away, and we all looked at each other.
“Weird noises?” I smiled.
“Smells?” Chuck added.
“Blobberous?” Adia asked what we were all thinking.
“Let’s move, Fellas,” I said.We all locked and loaded our laser phasers and ran for the alley that Palm warned us about.
When we got to the alley, all three of us flipped on our gun lights and aimed them into the darkness.I could see a dumpster and the lid had just shut.I held my fist up to stop my team, and then did some hand movements that included pointing, waving, waging my finger like I was an old woman jamming to swing music, and finally snapping my fingers.
“What does that even mean, Scout?” Chuck asked.
“It means, follow me to the dumpster cause I saw something.”
On my lead, we slowly walked down the alley, holding our guns out, ready to fire – even though the lasers didn’t do anything to the Blobberous.
We cautiously approached the dumpster and I hushed my team – even though they weren’t making any noise.I pushed the barrel of my gun forward and slipped it under the lid.In my mind, I counted down from three and then flung the dumpster lid open.
A bushy man jumped up from inside and extended his arms out to his side.We all screamed, as did the man in return.We backed up, keeping our lights focused on the man.He looked like a Wildman – bushy hair, bushy beard, bushy mustache, bushy chest hair sticking out of a torn and shredded v-neck shirt…and a banana peel hung out of his mouth.
It took a second, but I finally recognized him.“Maxwell Ferguson?”
Maxwell removed the banana peel from his mouth and chewed what was already in there.“Scott Bricks?”
“Scout Brooks.”
“My God!I haven’t seen you in like…four years!”
“Six months, actually.”
“Whatever, bro.Did you hear I got fired?”
“Yeah, we know, man.Your cup of coffee created a monster,” I said.
“I haven’t had a cup of the dark stuff ever since,” Maxwell said.“I can’t bring myself to enjoy it anymore.Not after what happened.Hey!Do you think Nog would hire me back as a consultant or something?I’m in the market for a job.I won’t be too picky, bros.”
I gave Maxwell a pity smile.“I don’t think so, man.He’s pretty peeved.I mean, you have no idea as to the problems you’ve caused.”
“I didn’t mean it, brotha,” Maxwell said.“I was just enjoying a cup of Joe.It’s not my fault that that Hix guy was allergic.”
“No one’s blaming you, Maxwell,” I said.
“Yeah they are!You are!Everyone is!”
“Okay, so maybe you are to blame.But that doesn’t mean -”
A single gunshot rang out and startled all of us.We turned around, and in the moonlight, saw a figure standing in the alley holding a pistol in the air, smoke billowing from the barrel.The man was glowing purple.
“End of the loaf, Scout!” the man called out.
I lifted my gun and aimed the light at him.It was Detective Raggs.
“Raggs?” I questioned.
Raggs slowly moved toward us, his purple glow humming in the otherwise quiet alley.He aimed his pistol at us, and laughed a crazy laugh.“You think I’m STUPID!Huh, Scout?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Detective,” I said.
Raggs reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled something out.When he got close enough, he threw it at me.It was a washcloth.It hit me in the chest and dropped to the ground.
“Who attracts wash rags, Scout?No one, that’s who!” he screamed.“You’re all keeping me in the dark about Hix, you lie to me about WASH RAGS of all things, and then you shoot some purple crap at me that makes me go stiff and crap my pants!Now I’m purple, Scout!PURPLE!I’m a glow-worm!”
Raggs snapped again and fired his gun at the dumpster.It pinged against the front of it and ricocheted.
“Hey!That’s my house, yo!” Maxwell yelled.
“Your house?” Raggs said.“Who are you, you freak?”
“The name’s Maxwell Ferguson. Doctor, Maxwell Ferguson.”
“Doctor?” I whispered.
“Shh, he’s buying it,” Maxwell whispered back.
“I’m not buying anything!” Raggs yelled.“I know who you are, Maxwell.I’ve been looking for you too!Tell me everything you know about Dr. Hix Blossom!”
“Blossom? That guy who was consumed by the blue goo?” Maxwell inquired.
“Consumed!Ah-ha!I knew he was consumed!” Raggs seemed to get louder and louder.
“Detective, listen!” I shouted.“It’s true – Hix was eaten by a small vile of blue goo back at Fort Nog’s and escaped through the sewer drain.Now he’s back – a lot bigger – and loose in King’s Town.He’s already killed a few people and we need to stop him before he does it again.”
“A goo creature?” Raggs asked, as he lowered his weapon.He had a shocked and confused look on his face.
“Yes.Scientifically known as Blobberous Squirmhixicous?” I explained.
“SquirmHIXicous?” Raggs cried.“Dear Lord, his name is even in it?”
“Look,” I said as I pulled a box over which was sitting by the side of the dumpster.I stood on top of it and gave an epic speech.“We could stand here in this very alley and discuss where the Blobberous got its’ name, or we can band together,” my voice got deeper, “and defeat this thing once and for all.I’m standing here before you all – friends, possible love interest, former employee, annoying detective – to ask you one simple thing -”
The box gave way and I collapsed into it and tumbled to the ground.Chuck and Adia helped me to my feet.
“Possible love interest?” Adia seemed annoyed.
“You never know…”
A roar interrupted everything.All of our attention was drawn to the entrance of the alley.The Blobberous stood before everyone, tentacles waving wildly in the air.It squirmed its way forward and instantly engulfed Raggs.
“Run!” I yelled.We ran the other way, deeper into the alley.I glanced over my shoulder and saw Maxwell cowering by the dumpster.“Maxwell!Run, bro!”
“I can’t!I’m too -”
A tentacle reached out and wrapped around Maxwell and pulled him towards its giant, watering mouth.
“Maxwell!No!”
When I turned back around, I saw Adia and Chuck slide to a complete stop.There was a fence blocking our way.
“Crap!What do we do?” Chuck screamed.
I frantically looked around.I saw a window on the brick wall next to us.“There!” I aimed my laser phaser at the window and fired three quick beams.The window shattered and we rushed for the opening.
The Blobberous was making its way down the alley.
“Quick, get in!” I said.I cupped my hands and Adia stepped into them.I lifted her up and pushed her into the building.I helped Chuck next.Then, I jumped up and grabbed the windowsill, pulled myself up and climbed inside just as a tentacle slammed against the side of the building, shattering the remaining glass.
III.
We found ourselves in a hardware store.We moved through the aisles quickly until we reached the front of the store.The three of us looked out the front window, but didn’t see the Blobberous.It must have still been in the alley.
“We should see if there’s anything in this store that can help us defeat that thing,” Adia said.
“Good idea, babe,” I said, catching myself saying ‘babe’ after the fact.Adia just shook her head. “Guys, grab what you can.”
The three of us split up around the store and searched for anything that could help us.I ran straight for the aisle that had the chainsaws.
I ran to the end of the aisle and ducked down behind a cardboard cutout of a burley man holding a Saw-Thru brand chainsaw.
“Nog, can you hear me?Is everything okay back at the fort?” I said quietly so the others wouldn’t hear me.I didn’t want them to get worried if I couldn’t get a hold of Nog.
I could hear the Blobberous out in the alley still, roaring and slamming its tentacles against the side of the building.It was only a matter of time before it would finally break though.
“Nog?” I repeated.No answer still – I was starting to get worried.I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and looked at it – I had two missed texts; one from Farrow, and one from Mandy.
Farrow’s said: Scout – get back to Fort Nog’s as soon as you can!We have a major problem!
I then checked Mandy’s text:Hey, Scout.I miss you.I hope your sewer mission is going well.Call me when you can!
I smiled after I read Mandy’s text.I couldn’t believe how much I was actually missing her too.
“Scout!Check out these jugs!” Adia said from behind me.I closed my eyes, hoping she wasn’t referring to what I thought she was.I was right in the middle of missing Mandy – I didn’t need this right now.I put my phone back in my pocket and stood up.
“Adia, I don’t know how appropriate this is.I mean, you gotta know that I’m taken,” I said as I turned around and faced her.She was holding two red jugs that said flammable on them.“Oh…”
“You really are sick…” Adia said, disgusted.
“It’s not like that, Adia.”
“Anyway, do you think we can get that Blobberous to ingest these and then we can try to blow it up from the inside again,” she asked.
“Those jugs might be more powerful than Marco’s Gernogs.Good thinking, Adia!”
Adia smiled.“Thanks!”
Chuck came running over.His gun was slung over his shoulder and he was gripping two axes.“Bros,” he said.“Look what I found!”
“Chuck, those aren’t going to do anything!” I said.
“Oh, and chainsaws are?” he said, lowering his axes.
The building shook on another slam from the creature outside.This time, we heard things fall off of the shelves.
“It’s going to get in here…” Adia worried.
“Guys, there’s something going on back at Fort Nog’s.I can’t get a hold of the old coot, and Farrow texted me and said that they had a major problem back there.I think we should go.”
“We can sneak out the front door while that thing is in the alley,” Chuck suggested.
“Good call.But first, we need one more attack on the Blobberous.Adia, let me see your jugs.”
Adia’s jaw dropped.I knew what I said that time…
Chuck slammed his axe into the front window and shattered the glass.The store’s security alarm immediately started going off.
“Oh, sure!The alarm goes off when I smash a window, but when Scout does it, everything’s cooler than beans!” Chuck yelled.
“Dude, just go, man!” I said, leaping through the shattered window with Adia’s jugs in my hand…I know, I’ll stop.
Adia followed me, and Chuck followed her.We ran to the entrance of the alley and saw the Blobberous slamming on the side of the building with its slimy tentacles.
“Hey!Blobberous!”I shouted.The creature turned and faced me and growled threateningly.“Hungry!?”
It then darted straight for us.With all my might, I tossed one of the flammable jugs at it, and the Blobberous swallowed it whole.I tossed the second one and it hit the top of its head and slowly sunk into the goo.
“Alright, guys, stand back,” I said.I aimed my laser phaser and looked through the scope.I lined up one of the jugs in the crosshairs and pulled the trigger.
A single laser beam shot out and traveled down the alley and penetrated the blobs goo.It connected with the jug – a dead on shot, no doubt – and exploded.A massive fireball crawled towards us and up into the sky.The three of us leapt out of the way just as the flames roared above our heads.
Once the explosion died down, we stood up and looked down the alley – hopefully at a messy, dead, situation.But it was the exact opposite.The Blobberous stood there, stronger than ever, roaring into the night.Its tentacles were waving wildly in the air – we seemed to anger it even more.
“Well, I’m out of ideas!” I yelled.“Run!”
I bolted out into the road and ran through the King’s Town Park.I heard police sirens in the distance.I was wondering when someone else would catch on to the goings-on.
“Where are we going, Scout?” Chuck shouted.
“Fort Nog’s!”