Drow mountains
Mada wanted to stop and admire every new view but Lon would have none of it. He took his hunting very seriously.
“Look at th…”
“This is why I did not want you to come Mada. This is serious and all you want to do is play. This is not the forest where you spend hour spans on end running around. Here we have to be carefu…”
“Alright father-father.” Mada teased as she skipped ahead of him.
“Say what you want. I just want you to be careful.”
“Does careful have to mean boring father-father?” Mada shouted as she ran ahead.
They had made a very early start. Well before the daylight rose. Now they could see the snow. She ran and jumped in the snow. The last time she had been here was about four year spans ago when she, Lon and a reluctant Mavrik had snuck away to play in the snow. Now she was rolling around in it before putting on her snow boots. Lon followed at a sedate pace.
She supposed he considered himself too mature and dignified to roll around in the snow. But not too mature to frolic in the forest with Oreel. Mada thought bitterly.
Lon too was thinking of Mada. He worried that she would get married soon. He had seen how Yuhlik and some others had been eyeing her at Weendrin and Sarims’s union celebration. He had gone out of his way to keep them all at bay that night. It was a wonder no one had discovered his true feelings. But then the over protective brother was a good guise. And it was in essence true. He sat on a rock and began putting on his snow boots. Then wham! He was hit by a snowball on the back of the head.
“We did not come all this way to throw snow balls Mada.” Lon said without quitting his task or even bothering to looking up.
“Sorry. I was just… I… I hope we find a lot of game.” Mada said dejectedly.
“So do I.” Lon replied flatly.
He carried on with his snow boots and she took up the task of digging up snow with the toe of her snow boot. He got up and dusted the snow from her snowball from his shoulders. She began walking ahead. Thinking that maybe she had made a mistake volunteering to come. Then wham! She was hit by a snowball. Before she recovered from the first another hit her and more kept coming.
“Lon that is not fair you gave me no warning.” Mada squealed, trying to make a snow ball of her own.
“Warning? I do not remember hearing a warning earlier!”
She was barely getting any across. She could not stop laughing long enough to get proper aim. And he was using the trees for cover. But she was determined to get him back. She made a large snow ball. A very large snow ball. She felt him out to get his general direction and as he was about to pop his head around a tree trunk he was knocked back and down by a large snow ball. She had used her power to guide it. He lay still on the ground. Had she hit him too hard? But with a snow ball? She walked over to him and stood next to him. She leapt back from an anticipated grabbing hand. He began to get up, she ran and he gave chase. They ran through the trees as they had done as little children. She hid behind a cawas tree.
“You know I have to get you back Mada. Come out come out wherever you are.”
She made no reply. She was hard pressed not to laugh. She felt him out and found him and hit him with another snow ball. But this time she was not so quick in her escape. And he got her but in her attempt to get away she fell and took him with her.
They had grabbed each other as they fell and neither made an attempt to get up or lose their hold on the other. Her pounding heart suddenly stilled and all she could hear was his breathing. He had beautiful eyes, she thought, when was the last time she had looked into them she wondered.
“I have got you now.” Lon said with mock wicked glee in a voice, tinged with anxiety.
“Is it not I who has you. I am after all on top o…” Mada began but was cut off by the screeching brays of the querau.
“Querau. Come on then,’ Lon said pushing her off, ‘It is getting dark and we should go to the cave.” Lon said getting up and looking at the sky.
He began walking to the cave. They had played in this cave as children and Lon, Mavrik and a-Carrab had used it to sleep in when they came to hunt.
He had to be careful. The last thing he wanted was to do or say something he would regret. Especially here where they were completely alone.
“Come let us follow the river.” He called over his shoulder.
“Okay. I do hope mother and father do not return and father leaves with a-Carrab before we return. I wish to talk to him about the children’s music lessons. I would ask mother but she could not care less. Father will not care as long as it costs him nothing.”
“She has a lot to… Oh why bother.” Lon said abandoning his notion to justify their parent’s indifference.
They walked up the mountain to the cave. They had been on the opposite side and to reach the cave they would have to cross the river. Parts were frozen making the crossing dangerous. Mada decided to cross over the waterfall. There were rocks that one could use to hop across. Lon advised that they cross above or below the waterfall but Mada was determined to have a good time.
“Please Mada get down from there. It is too dangerous let us…”
He wanted to go after her but he was afraid if he went after her she would try to cross faster. It was a dangerous place, made more so by the ice that had formed at some places.
“Oh father-father let me have some fun for once.”
“Fun? That is just insanity. No actually it is stupidity.”
Mada stopped and half turned to face Lon with her hand on her hip.
“Stupidity aye?” Mada said tartly.
She tried to turn all the way around without making sure of her footing. She fell. She could have simply floated back up but how would she ever explain such a thing. She had no choice but to let herself fall. She could hear Lon screaming her name. There was the water to worry about also. It must be freezing, she thought to herself. She began to warm up just before hitting the water. Her winter clothing was thick and bulky and it seemed to take in half the river. It was weighing her down but she brought herself to the surface. Lon was running down to the bottom of the falls. She could see him remove his pack preparing to jump in after her. The water would surely be the death of him. She quickly went to the other side.
He stood on the opposite bank gaping at her. She waved at him shouting that he should go to a safer spot and cross as the water was very cold. He picked up his pack and went up the river. As she watched him go up she began thinking of a good explanation of how she was not freezing and how she had come up so quickly despite her bulky sponge like clothing. She had to be careful from now on. She did not know how he would feel and she figured it would be rather frightening for him up here with no one else around. With company or without she had no intentions of disclosing her true nature to him anyhow. She got up and went up river a little and waited for him. She dragged her pack in the snow. It weighed more with the water. She did not want to exhaust herself besides she wanted to use her power to keep herself warm. She began shivering as he got closer. Would she be able to make her teeth chatter she wondered? She decided against it. The cave was still a bit of a walk away and she did not fancy the idea of rattling her teeth all that way.
The moment he got across he ran to her side.
“What is wrong with you?! That is the stupidest thing you have ever done Mada. What is wrong with you?! What if you had been ki… What were you thinking?! What? Thank the gods you are okay. I knew I should have left you at home. No more games! Okay? Are you hurt? Lon asked patting her all over, ‘Well do you hurt anywhere?!” Lon shouted.
He was angry at her for her selfish carelessness. But all he wanted to do was to take her in his arms but he had to get a grip and do what had to be done.
Mada was too stunned to say anything, she just shook her head. She had expected to be overwhelmed with gentleness and sympathy not anger. She could have been seriously hurt and all he could do was berate her as if she had intentionally jumped off the waterfall. She looked at him blankly.
She must be in shock he thought. He wanted to cry. If she had died. It had taken her a few second spans but she seemed, to him, to fall forever. He had never had such a tense few second spans in his life. His stomach seemed to hollow and his heart dropped into it for those sickening few second spans.
“You will catch your death. Come let us hurry to the cave.” He said giving her a push in the direction of the cave and picking up her pack.
He walked very quickly and she had to practically jog to keep up with him. He went ahead into the cave to make sure it was empty and to start preparing a fire.
She sat on a small boulder in the cave watching him make the fire. She kept on shivering. He had not asked her why she was not half dead from the cold. Which was just as well as she had not been able to think of a good explanation. She wondered if she was behaving the way an arshean would in a similar situation.
“Remove your clothes.” He ordered a little shakily.
She attributed it to exertion and his anger.
“You have to get out of that wet stuff and sit by the fire. Here.” He said gruffly, removing his coat to give her.
“No you will get cold. Keep your coat.”
“You just fell in an icy river. You need it more than me.”
“No.” She said folding her arms.
“Mada…”
“No!”
He got up and pulled her arms apart and began removing her clothes.
“Lon!” She squealed with excitement wriggling away.
“Will you stop acting like a child for once!” He reprimanded harshly.
His harsh tone forced her to get a grip on herself. Reminding her that he was her brother and she should get a grip if she did not want to humiliate herself and embarrass him and ruin their relationship. She realised she had stopped shivering and she began again. But it seemed he had not noticed.
He had removed most of her clothing. All that was left were filmy undergarments. She immediately regretted not wearing warmer underclothes. But then she had not expected she would be removing her clothes in front of him. She did not look down but she was certain her nipples were erect. He would attribute it to the cold she consoled herself. She averted her eyes to avoid eye contact. Now she did not have to fake her trembling.
He took a quick glance and looked away just as quickly. He had to control himself. No matter how he felt about her she was his sister. In the history of removing footwear no none had ever concentrated so hard on unlacing a pair of boots the way he did that day. Finishing with her boots he took a steadying breath and pulled down her pants.
“Get into my bedding.” Lon said moving his bedding, which he had unrolled, closer to the fire.
She did as she was told without replying or looking at him. Thank the gods awkwardness was not fatal. She pulled the bedding right up to her chin. She kept her gaze fixed on the fire.
“I am going to get more twigs to get the fire going I will be back shortly.” Lon said as he went out of the cave.
As he got out he felt the cold like a physical blow. He had not realised how warm he had gotten. He had to remember that he was with Mada. An innocent and most importantly his sister.
She removed her flimsy undergarments and got into Lon’s bedding again. Here she was naked in Lon’s bedding alone with him in the Drow mountains. The stuff dreams were made of, Mada thought smiling mischievously to herself. But she had come here to hunt not on a dream fulfillment quest, she chastised herself. She began glowing. The one good thing about being up here was she could shimmer in peace. She looked at her hands. Her nails wanted cutting. She got up and got her brush. Her hair had been tangled in the water. She tried as hard as she could to keep herself occupied but her thoughts kept returning to Lon.
The cave was too warm and too cozy. When he got back into the cave he found her curled up in his bedding. Her under clothes had been put out to dry on one of the rocks in the cave. He knelt with his back to her as he put more wood on the fire.
“I am so cold. The river was so cold.” She said chattering her teeth.
“The fire will warm up the cave soon enough. Move closer to the fire. We do not want you getting ill do we? No we do not.”
“No we do not.” She echoed as she stood up to move closer to the fire.
She had taken a few steps when she stepped on the edge of the bedding and tripped. Lon moved to catch her. She let go of the bedding when she put her arms out to break her fall. He caught her just before she fell on her knees. She was clinging onto his shoulders. His hands were on her bare flesh. They stayed that way looking into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity span. She felt as if she was waiting for something but she did not know what. So she just knelt there looking into his eyes.
Was this some sort of test the gods were giving him. To throw her into his arms shimmering, naked and in the middle of nowhere. What did they want him to do with her looking at him like that with her huge aquamarine eyes which appeared almost black in the firelight.
“You better cover up. We do not want you getting ill. Do we?” He whispered in her ear.
She shook her head. But neither made a move to let the other go.
“I better cover up.” Mada said moving away from him, very reluctantly.
She had to be careful. How could she openly lust after her own brother like that. Not that doing it in secret was more moral.
He shared his food with her as hers had been soaked and mixed up.
“If we do not catch a querau tomorrow we will have to try to get a bowa for the next day.”
“I am giving you all this trouble. I am so sorry I…”
“It is okay. What is important is that you are okay.”
He remained near the fire. The Drow mountains were very cold. She knew he must be freezing. But he would never consent to her giving him back his bedding and she really did not need it. What could she do without giving herself away.
“Why do we not share the bedding?” She said twirling a strand of hair, not quite able to look him in the eye now.
“Are you sure? I mean I am okay here. It is not that cold really.”
“What do you mean. It is freezing Lon. I am the one who was stupid enough to cross over the waterfall not you. How can I in good conscience let you suffer for my mistake.”
“Thank you but It is not that cold. Now try and get some sleep.”
“If it is not that cold I am getting up and…,’ She was about to throw off the bedding when she recalled she was naked, And… and I will wear my clothes because it is so hot in here.”
“Mada.”
“Do not Mada me. I do not bite.”
“Who knows.” Lon said laughing.
“If I wanted to bite you I would not wait for you to be in the same bedding as me. I would simply get up and bite you.”
“I would like to see that.”
“If you continue to be so stubborn you just might.”
“Ma…”
“Lon we are in the Drow Mountains. You know how cold it gets up here.
We came here to hunt not to both foolishly die from exposure. I do not want to have to drag your frozen carcass down the mountain. Though it is cold here and your body will keep but from the foothills it is warmer. So you will start to rot before we get ho…”
“Okay. Okay. If I share the bedding with you will you shut up?”
“Probably not. But at least you will be warm while I am nagging you.”
“Such an attractively packaged offer, how can anyone refuse?”
He got into the sleeping bag and each was sleeping at the edge afraid to brush against the other. Lon was sleeping on the side that was closed. The bedding was rectangular and folded in half with the bottom closed.
“Comfortable?” She said, trying to sound casual.
“Yes.” He answered gruffly.
She lay very still listening to her heart which was beating so loud she was sure he could hear it also. All she had to do was roll over and she would be touching him. He was closed in so he could not move away and would think she was just rolling over in her sleep. She pinched her hand to punish herself. Here she was thinking such things while he was probably thinking about the hunt tomorrow or Oreel. That thought made her want to pinch him. If only there was some way to know what he was thinking without violating him.
“Lon are you awake?”
He contemplated pretending to be asleep but realised how obvious and ridiculous that would be.
“Yes.”
“What are you thinking?”
He was taken aback by her question. How could she have known. Then he realised he was being ridiculous. There was no way she could know what he was thinking. Thinking about her.
“Why?”
“Nothing. Just asking. Making conversation. I am not sleepy.”
“I am thinking about queraus. And I am sleepy.”
“W…”
“Sweet sleep Mada.”
“Sweet sleep.” She answered pouting.
She closed her eyes for a while but she could not fall asleep.
She opened her eyes again and looked into the fire. How could he just go to sleep while she was up and in agony, over him to top it off? She had to try to get some sleep. But the way she felt now she could be awake for day spans. She was too excited to sleep. It was Lon who she lived with and saw every day. But now was different. Then she had a very wicked thought. She would spice up his dreams. He would recognise it as his own thoughts she knew. She was curious to see his reaction to the idea of them being together. She projected seeing him in the forest with Oreel, only she substituted Oreel with herself. She was aching to look at him but she kept her eyes on the fire. What she was doing was cruel and wicked, but it seemed like just a bit of not so innocent but harmless fun. She felt him fidgeting.
He was trying so hard to banish all thoughts of Mada. But part of his mind seemed reluctant to comply. Why would he think of her in a place he had been with Oreel? The best thing would be to try and fall sleep. But he seemed to be unable to stop thinking about her.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and took a fateful roll over to Lon’s side…
She woke feeling languid. She could hear a distant drum. Drum? She opened one lazy eye and realised she was sleeping on Lon’s chest. The “drumbeat” was been his heartbeat.
For a moment her mind was completely blank. Then she slowly pulled herself up on her elbow as the previous night played back in her mind. She was in her brothers arms. Naked in her brother’s arms, waking from a night of passion! She clamped her hand over her mouth and bit into her palm to keep herself from screaming.
She tried to get up but he tightened his grip. She had to get up and dressed before he woke up. She slowly edged out of his arms holding her breath afraid the sound of her breathing would wake him. She looked around but she could barely see anything the fire had almost died out. She coaxed the logs back to life. She used the little light now available to pick up some of the wood Lon had brought in. She had to keep the cave warm but not too warm. She did not want him to wake up yet. She needed time to think. She packed the bedding gently around him. Stopping to look at him and think how much she loved him. She used her power to dry her clothes, pack and bedding and went out of the cave. It was still dark. The nightlight was bright and she went to sit on a fallen tree trunk a few meter spans from the cave.
Lon woke up to find that Mada was gone. Had he dreamt everything?. No he had not. He smiled to himself as he remembered. Tonight was the happiest night of his life. To find that she felt the same way about him. But where was she, her clothes were gone but her pack and bedding were still there. He put on his clothes and went outside. He saw her sitting on a log. He was about to go to her but figured she had a lot to think about. He would give her that time. Come to think of it he too had a lot to think about. What would tonight mean to the rest of their lives. It was going to be difficult. But as long as he had Mada it would be okay.
What had she done, to them both. Nothing was worth feeling like this. What kind of a person did this? Even being a mystic could not account for this. She was better than this. How would she ever face him again. She would give anything to turn back time.
It suddenly dawned on her that she could turn back time. Sar had told her how it could be done. Did she have enough power to do it? She would use all her power even it meant being left with nothing. But Sar had warned her against it. Sar had said she would regret it. Time affected everyone and everything. But what could possibly be worse than this?
It was bad enough she had done what she had done but to turn back time also? She had no way of calculating the possible repercussions of such an action. But what choice was there? She owed it to Lon to right her wrong. She closed her eyes and recited over and over the speaking Sar had taught her to help her concentrate.
time is light
light is light
my plea is not right
my intention is not to slight
pass this time
erase this time
light is light
light is time
No sooner were the words spoken did she wish them unsaid. She was washed with a staggering feeling of nausea. Everything blurred. The universe seemed to stop and then spin around her in a fantastic light display. Blurry pictures of Tamrip keep and other places she did not recognise flashed before her. At Tamrip keep she saw her parents already at home with her brothers and sisters. She saw Sar surrounded by other dryads in what must be her home. Only everything and everyone was moving backwards. Time was literally being turned back. Her legs trembled, her whole person shook. Her bowls threatened to give way. Saliva threatened to choke her. It seemed to pour out of every gland in her mouth. She fell to her knees. Her actions left her on the ground bracing herself on all fours, drooling and trembling. She began throwing up. She could not stop retching. Her throat was constricted and her very innards seemed to want to come up and out. Her whole frame seemed to want to turn inside out. The pain was amazing. She passed out before the world stopped spinning.
“Mada? Mada?.” She heard her name being called from far away. She could faintly smell smoke. She felt weak, as if she were in a dream.
“Mada, Mada.” She heard her name again. This time she had a vague sensation of being violently shaken. Her head was throbbing. Every move felt as if her head was being used as a rattle, with her brain knocking around in her head. Never had she ever felt such pain. Being venson had kept her from most things. How did mere beings live she wondered. She opened her eyes a crack and saw Lon kneeling by her side. He had been the one shaking her. If only he would sit still and stop moving around the way he was. She fought down the feeling of nausea and tried to sit up. He pushed her down gently but she would have lain down again herself. For the first time she felt the chill of the Drow mountains. What had happened to her? Then it all came flooding back
“Do not try to get up,’ Lon said feeling her forehead, ‘You are not warm. But you seem feverish. You should not have played over the waterfall like that.”
Had it not worked. Surely she had not gone through that, was feeling this way, for nothing.
“Let me heat up rumin and capar meat for y…”
“No. I…,’ Mada declined weakly, her throat was so dry, ‘rumin.” She managed hoarsely. She felt too tired to eat anything but some rumin would be good for her parched throat.
“Okay.” He removed his coat and put it over her.
“What… happened?” Mada wheezed. She never imagined that just talking could be this exhausting.
“I went out to get some firewood and when I came back you were unconscious. You were like that for almost a day and a half span. Tomorrow morning we are going home.”
“No… I just need some… some… sleep and I will be fine.
“We ar…”
“No Lon…” She was trying to sit up.
“Okay. Okay. We will see how you feel tomorrow morning. You will have some rumin and rest.”
He came over and pushed her down again and tucked the bedding tightly around her. Now that she was awake he was taking her home. There was no point in tiring or upsetting her with arguing.
Besides her feeling awful it did not seem like anything remarkable had happened. Why did she still remember though? If time had been indeed erased why did she still remember? But Lon said he had gone to get more wood and that was all. She had done it. She had turned back time. Archiving such a stupendous feat was little consolation. Had she lost her power? She had not thought much about it before doing it. She had considered it as a possibility but it had seemed worth it at the time. What use was it if she still knew what had happened? She eventually fell into a dreamless slumber.
She felt considerably better the next morning. She shifted, to rub her eyes, and she realised for that she had someone’s arms around her. She felt as if she was falling. What had gone wrong? She looked at Lon’s bare arm draped over her. She closed her eyes hoping she would open them to a different scene. She opened them again but it was to the exact same scenery. She woke up to find that she was wearing his coat and he was dressed. His sleeve had just rolled back. She was flooded with a feeling of indescribable relief. She got up and slowly restacked the fire, she was not quite recovered yet. If only she could have forgotten also. She would have to live with this for the rest of her life.
They went back home only to find that their parents had not returned. She recalled seeing them already at home. She figured that as she had altered time their lives too had been altered. They did not return for a while. And they made another trip after a short time. It seemed they had enjoyed their extended stay so much they had decided to travel some more. Which was very unlike them. It was then that she began to wonder about the exact magnitude of her actions. The guilt over what she had done would not subside. She grieved over her lost love. She often wondered what would have happened had she not turned back time. Hers was doomed to be a life of loneliness regret and sorrow. She could not even bring herself to confide in Sar, the only place she could possibly find comfort. She had no choice but to go on. Maybe one day she would be over it.