“When the morals of the righteous are breached, a new less powerful religion is formed that invariably corrupts us all. I see a day a thousand miles in the distance that doesn’t bare even a passing resemblance to this one. When I think of where our passions will take us I know we have but one responsibility to the children of happenstance. To thwart the foes of progress with their very own lies as they scream for equal rights. No, no I say we owe it to history to keep the purveyors of evil only a footnote and never, never a moment in our lives or our children’s realities. Because if we do this, and only this, then we assure that same history for them and not a death as dust on a scorched fields of nowhere. I remember the truth and I know it took work for it to be called that. All the while I sang of providence and never of villainy or jaded ghosts of nothing,” said Teg Bahorm proudly to a crowded 3 story hotel lobby filled with people all but 4 minutes after the spelling bee. They flooded in and through the room on their way to their hotel suites.
Teg Bahorm has long blonde flowing hair with 6 large holographic images of ancient rulers from around the universe in and around his mane of hair. His eyes are burgundy and very friendly, with a tiny triangle surrounding each iris. The triangles act as an image enhancer and are linked to a computer input in his brain. He has a wide upturned almost woman’s nose that women find very attractive. His chin is round with a triangle shaped portion in the center. He is 5’8” and weighs 165 pounds of chiseled muscle with a large chest and small waist. He has on a golden full length robe with a furry collar, as well as a stark white shirt and pants made of soft denim and cotton with the words,” Desolation row just got a whole lot lonelier and some company, so check your valuables with the clerk,” written on them in off
white letters. His shoes are made to look like mahogany, but are made from Italian leather and have the slogan,” To die for nothing is to live without knowing anything,” written down the sides.
The lobby has a pair of anti-gravity platforms going up and down repeatedly. They look like a lion’s head and bring all the guests to each of their rooms. There is also a soul singer robot in the center of the room dancing and singing the song,” Sex Machine,” by James Brown as people booed her.
Teg walks into the lion’s head platform and starts down towards the main floor. Inside it has pictures of famous world leaders and their favorite sayings like,” I crushed the will of my enemy by smiling in his worried eyes,” said by now Russian leader Demerat Popci as well as the one,” You won’t feel a thing, I will only kill you once,” by Iran leader Shami Kid.
All over the walls are large round picture windows. The platform raced down over 60 floors in 6
seconds, but Teg felt nothing as he was simply replaying his speech and thinking it went well. So what if no one paid him any mind Teg thought. It was probably because they were too busy in deep thought is how Teg saw it. A moment later the platform came to a rest. The doors disappeared into the walls and Teg could see out onto the corner of 43rd street. He saw many people hurrying off in every direction. He stepped out and started walking along trying to find some customers as it were.
Meanwhile up the street as the night encroached there is a sidewalk circus of acrobats, elephants, and holographic arcade games going for 70 blocks. It has a million people enjoying the attractions. There is also a holographic movie called,” Torn to Redemption,” being dragged through the streets behind a large anti-gravity black Edsel car. It showed a man crying as he ate a steak at his dining room table. This while 9 kids sat around the table crying and throwing things back and forth just in front of him.
Torn to redemption is a movie about the life of a potato farmer whose wife dies and he is forced to raise their 9 kids alone. He also has to fight off an evil gold prospector who is trying to force him to sell his land. The prospector knows there’s gold in the riverbed that runs lengthwise through the farmer’s property.
“Alright, Pat, let me have it. Am I the sexiest man on this street or what? Don’t worry I can handle it?” asked Grega slyly and sarcastically as he Den, Pat, Rosemary, and Amo walked through the video arcade at the sidewalk circus. This caused Pat to grin and point to himself implying he was the handsomest.
“Grega, I don’t wanna lie, but I gotta tell the truth. I’m easily the best looking man for 30 blocks, with you being the second sexiest for 8 feet. That said jazz is dead, can I get a witness?” asked Pat jokingly as he put his hand to his mouth like a megaphone. They laughed while they walked through a pair of teenage boys as they played the holographic game Doove.
And the boys said,” Hey what the fuck we’re playin’here!”
Pat laughed and said sternly,” Tough luck you little Brats. Another generation of divorced parents leading to layers and a multitude of bratty Shithead kids.”
“It’s not just the kids, it’s their stressed out parents who can’t discipline their kids and fend off their ex’s at the same time. Thus leading to coddling and lots of frustrated people,” said Amo firmly as she ate a ball of pink cotton candy. Amo walked around a young girl playing the game,” Star Today King Tomorrow,” and thought how cute she looked in her furry purple bear suit.
Star Today King Tomorrow is a singing game for young and old alike. Where you have to write a song using the holographic instruments and then sing it into the microphone. Then your song is put on one of thousands of independent personal radio and internet stations (each of the stations are owned by large companies as well as ordinary people alike). If your song becomes a hit you get a chance to get a national tour with the backing of Atlantic Records regardless of your age. To date thousands of men and women have found successful music careers by playing the game with many of them having no musical experience prior to playing. Even today the top 30 spots on the Billboard charts are all owned by winners and many of them are now millionaires.
“That’s true, but you also have to factor in the kids themselves as they pit each parent against one another. They do that to get what they want under the guise that their parents have ruined their lives and let them down. I saw my friend Brad do that very thing a million times to get cold hard cash. He’d reel out the tears and out would come the wallet. Kids need direction and they won’t find it if they don’t have too, Jesus,” said Den sternly as he ate a corndog and thought how pretty this black haired woman walking up ahead of them was. They looked at him wide-eyed and surprised he was such a deep thinker.
“I couldn’t agree more, but the whole world could use that same direction, Man,” replied Teg calmly as he glanced at Den. “My uncle said once, don’t ask me a dumb question twice or I’ll have to slap the spit out of your mouth 3 times,” said Teg as he walked next to Den. They all looked over at him not quite sure what to think. Den nodded and laughed while Pat grinned and thought Teg must be drunk.
“That’s right! I say give ‘em a good hard slap. It helps to straighten out their crooked ways,” said Den half jokingly as he and Teg started laughing loudly. Den offered Teg his hand and said warmly,” I’m Den, that’s a firm grip you’ve got there, Sir. Do you work on a dairy farm?” asked Den jokingly as Teg shook his hand and laughed.
Teg nodded yes as he felt Den could be a good friend. Den felt Teg was a similar sort to himself.
“I’m Teg and I work at a blowjob assembly line in the village. I get two weeks off each month for fluid replacement,” said Teg sarcastically as Den and everyone but Pat started laughing. Pat thought something was up with this guy and kept his eye on him. \
Teg smiled and asked warmly,” Who are your friends, Den?”
“That’s, Amo, Grega, Pat, and Rosemary we’re just letting off steam after a spelling bee that Pat put on an hour ago. It’s nice to meet ya, Teg, you from around here?” asked Den warmly as they walked past a giant android robot of Abraham Lincoln wearing a black leather suit and drinking a keg of Budweiser.
Pat felt Den shouldn’t keep talking to Teg or it could lead to a bad situation, but he couldn’t think how to say it. This while Teg saw his opening and had to keep his emotions from showing.
“I do, yeah I’ve got a place in that building up the street on the left there called the Moparma. Ya know a buddy of mine runs a Soaring Foeverit station from the roof of the building,” said Teg warmly as he hoped someone would ask him what it was and then he could generate a little income for himself.
“Soaring Foeverit, what exactly is that, Teg?” asked Rosemary intently as she hoped it might be some sort of nightclub on the roof where she could get a beer or a shot.
Pat cringed when she asked because he knew they were being set up.
“Well, Man, it’s where the blackness of life gets a tan! Where a pigeon becomes a man and vice verse, Man. It’s a place that fills up the space where your brain should be. It’s a little slice of bird heaven that will have ya a screamin’, Man! It could be the answer to what ails ya I say I say I say interested?”
asked Teg coyly as he grinned vacantly. Everyone laughed as he danced a little jig with his hands at his sides, as Teg thought he was really wowing them.
“So is it a bar or something, Teg? Because I need to relax this day has taken it out of me,” asked Amo as she rubbed her neck and leaned on Pat. Amo felt really safe next to Pat and she knew she loved him. This while Teg nodded softly and got ready for his pitch.
Meanwhile Grega was hoping it was something cool.
“Here’s what it isn’t…boring. Here’s what it is…exciting. Ya see we have these suits that you put on. And you can jump literally off the side of the Moparma and then do a couple gentle flips and land softly, Man. And we call ‘em the no gravity experience suits or Ge suits, Man. If you wanna fly and spit fate in the eye, Man, then it is the place where the birdman treads. La, la, li, la, ta-dah,” said Teg happily and then he did a spin and kicked out his feet awkwardly. Everybody laughed as Teg smiled and hoped they’d try it out.
Grega thought he smelled a little too much of stoned and was worried they’d end up flattened on the sidewalk. Grega thought he could get rid of Pat without having to do anything.
“Hey I think it sounds fuckin’ awesome! I say if anybody will do it with me, I’m down like Freddie Brown from Motown,” said Grega excitedly and coyly as he pumped his fist and everyone started thinking hey it might be fun.
Pat pretended not to notice Grega’s over excitement and deduced he had ulterior motives. Pat figured Grega wanted him to have an accident as Amo caught on as well.
“Yeah it sounds like a good one. I’m down, Grega, let’s head up!” said Den enthusiastically as he nodded his head and then let out a yell as he slapped fives with Grega.
This while Teg concealed how overjoyed he was by simply just smirking and Amo just smiled.
“Let’s do it, it could be a really fun thing. Let’s go, Teg,” said Rosemary happily as she thought she might see a celebrity or get a cocktail.
“Then be us warriors of the sky, let’s fly,” said Teg happily then he did a weird uncoordinated dance and everyone laughed and they started for the Moparma.
At the Seam building adjacent to Moparma
Wexor and Terponic were having an orgy. Wexor talked about news that Russia had just fired a large missile into Iran and it destroyed their most cherished temple and killed over 9 million Iranian’s.
The room has glass walls that can be tinted at the touch of a button. They encircle the room and also have a news channel covering 2 thirds of them as well as Pith Hram’s words of destiny that read,” A man can meander for what feels like a lifetime and then happen upon destiny. Then the man no longer cares to work hard, yet harder than he ever has. He does this because he then knows the difference between a
purposeful life and one that has endless untold horizons. Then a million days can pass and never a moment of loneliness felt. Instead a victorious cheer of true understanding fills each and every day.”
Pith Hram is the cleric of Wexor and a well respected Doramoc. He wrote the religious text and bylaws in a book titled Friends Don’t Scream Out At Us and it includes the passage,” Today, and a thousand yesterdays doesn’t change my love for you Gabra. I know those people who have no faith will repeatedly try and destroy our friendship, but like a cake made of air they will have no effect on my senses. When I vanquish them to a realm of foolhardy gestures and less important ideas, I know only I and people like me are what matter Gabra. This is the answer to an unwritten riddle of you.” Pith learned from a well traveled interstellar religious figure called Bab that he would have to study everything to discount anything as he said in the liner notes of his novel Red Air.
There are 4 King size beds in the room up against the walls that have green sheets, blankets, and pillows. There is also a pair of life-size blue marble statues of Wexor in a frock on either side of a black wooden dining room table. There are 10 large green recliners around the table as well as a tan leather couch facing out a window towards the Moparma building’s right corner and out over New York City.
There is a pair of holographic library shelves on the left and right side of the room. You can pick any number of books by simply touching them and then they could be enlarged onto the walls of the room as you read. There are a dozen mini-battleships floating in the air that each resembled an alien vessel from a Doramoc conquered world (like the Goodyear Blimp from ours). The floors of the room have wall to wall Persian rugs that have a design of Wexor and Terponic playing baseball at Yankee Stadium sewn onto them.
There are 10 naked Doramoc and human women walking around and pleasuring Terponic and Wexor as they sit on the couch. 2 Caucasian women are stroking Wexor’s enormous penis as he intently watches the devastation in Iran. This while Terponic has a large breasted woman riding him as he peers
over her shoulder and shakes his head as the newscast shows a river filled with dead Iranian’s and he feels disturbed.
“For fuck’s sake, can’t these idiot humans leave each other alone for 5 minutes?! Gabra almighty I’m losing my respect for them every day that passes! Demerat and Shami know this sort of thing has to go through me first. And that’s what infuriates me to no God damn end!” said Wexor fiercely as he glared at the newscast. It showed a hundred Iranian troops surrounding a hole where the sports arena had been.
Wexor wanted to punch Demerat good and hard in the face for his lack of respect for Wexor’s authority.
He wants to remind him he has said all missiles fired have to be a smaller size than what were used.
“I’m not losing my respect for them, I’ve already lost it. You can’t trust these bastards as far as you can throw their severed heads! I’m about to lose it, Wexor. We may need to pay Demerat a visit because his little shenanigans today could lead to a Bou. And that we both know would be a disaster,” said Terponic sternly as he watched as Demerat walked into a press conference. Demerat waved to each of the reporters as he approached the microphone.
Bou is a point in battle where both sides have done such despicable things they just want everyone to die, including their own soldiers if that’s what it takes. It was named after the Doramoc general Ped Bou who started dropping massive particle dispersing bombs on his own troops, as well as the enemy’s troops.
This happened after his command center was obliterated and his entire staff of captain’s and general’s were killed. He later said when he was at his court hearing,” I wasn’t going on without the only people that mattered to me. So if I had to live, somebody had to die.”
“My friends and comrades I stand before you all at a place of true embarrassment and grief. As you all know a missile was fired from one of our missile silos, and hit in Iran killing many and wounding many more. I say I am embarrassed at this because I feel those Iranian devils deserved much worse. I will never apologize to them and if they have a problem with mother Russia then come to Moscow and meet
my troops. They’d love to try out their new rocket launchers!” said Demerat slyly and sharply as he smiled from ear to ear. And as he said it Wexor pushed the two women away from his penis.
Demerat has dark red short hair that is gelled straight back, as well as lavender far away eyes and fat cheeks. His nose is round and has a birthmark on it shaped like an eagle. He is 6’2” and 257 pounds of pure muscle. He has on a seal black suit and a burgundy tie, as well as a gold Rolex watch and diamond cufflinks.
“That son of a bitch!” shouted Wexor as he punched the couch and his fist went straight through and out the back. His eyes glared at Demerat who was laughing and flexing his muscles while he walked out of the press conference.
“That fucker is starting a world war right in front of our eyes. How does he think he can get away with this? He has to know we’re gonna kill him,” asked Terponic as he lifted a woman off his penis and started putting his clothes on. He started thinking of ways to kill Demerat and possibly his entire family.
Wexor grabbed hold of his wine bottle and drank it all in one drink and smashed it on the floor.
“He doesn’t care he must have figured out that we’re planning something when I made that joke about his hair at the dinner party. He gave me a knowing look and I wasn’t quick enough to deflect it. He doesn’t know what we’re planning, but he’s wise enough to know it’s bad. Motherfucker, I need some air,” said Wexor angrily and in exasperation as he pulled on his dark blue sweatpants.
Wexor hurried over and grabbed a remote control from the mouth of the Wexor statue. He pressed a golden button and the entire room started sliding outside and it soon took flight using anti-gravity thrusters. Wexor started flying the room out 50 feet clear of the building and then he pressed a button and the roof opened as well as the front wall. Wexor walked over to the couch and passed through a musical bubble (or Hubleu as it was called). He heard the alternative rock band Endless Everything and their song,” Trash Bag Fashion,” and he started batting his ears rapidly.
“What is it, are you injured?” asked Terponic in a concerned voice as he watched Wexor run and jump on the couch.
Terponic felt nervous as if something had happened.
“God, shit I hate alt rock bands! And I motherfuckin’ hate walking into a Hubleu! Jesus I need a break from all those bratty human kids who plague me at every inconvenience! Now where were we with this soon to be corpse Demerat?” asked Wexor calmly as he flexed his cheek muscle and glared out over the New York skyline. Wexor thought how he’d love to kill Demerat with his bare hands.
Meanwhile Teg and everyone were inside an Emosly on their way to the top of the Moparma building. Inside it had rows of antiques in glass cases that included ancient gold and diamond statues of elephants as well as 2 dozen paintings of Edgar Allen Poe (they were done by the cab driver and set on top of the cases with price stickers on them). There was also a pair of plush green and purple couches set up facing out an alligator shaped window that each could sit 4 comfortably. There are beer bottles for sale next to the couches that are in refrigerators of compacted frozen air. They would be pushed back into the walls when you opened the door so you could grab your beer. There is also the video game,” Come Back With My Turban,” set up in front of the couches.
Come Back with My Turban is a racing game where you pay 50 dollars and then try to catch up with a tiger before she delivers your turban to the evil duke Nogento. And if you are successful you have a chance at going to the Bamram ball in the Esseric cluster (that is a cluster of 54 large buildings all owned by the Esseric family estate).
The Bamram ball is an invitation only gathering that no one outside of the people who’d gone knew anything about, because you were sworn to secrecy upon arrival. It entailed dozens of life altering experiences and medications that all give you,” The Answers,” as it was said. One of the experiences is to be tricked into thinking you were falling over 30 stories to your death. Only to be pushed up by a large burst of air at the last second enabling you to be able to simply walk off safely. The amount of emotions
you went through opened your eyes and mind to things you didn’t think were possible. Many of the people who went found it incredibly easy to attain success in their lives shortly after.
The Esseric family are comprised of Muras Esseric and her 8 children who all have genius I.Q.’s, as well as her husband En. They are rich beyond even rich people’s standards as the 6th youngest son Pauco was an enormously successful writer and musician with his book,” Flat Waves Forever,” selling 500
million copies. And it included the paragraph,” Maybe fools run from the foolish, but I only run from you. And as a wise woman once said, get the fuck away from me or I’ll gut ya! Now that we see eye to back I’ll run another week to escape your dagger. And when I get to nowhere I’ll proclaim, it looks exactly like home minus the friends I don’t have and the money I never earned. Now I know you feel the same way about true love. So I’ll only ask you once, did you see me staring at your ass in that mirror or were you going to slap me for no reason? Either way I deserved it.” Pauco also has a cologne based on his own sweat and the smell of money. The cologne is wildly popular and has netted him billions.
The family uses his extraordinary wealth to branch out into space and create a billionaire’s outpost beyond the Milky Way galaxy. It has unbelievable luxuries and is rumored to be 17 miles long. On the outpost (called Gids) the Esseric’s have total autonomy and can kill you and take your wealth if they felt you have breached etiquette or broken a law.
“Hey another game we can play. I say since I ain’t won nothin’ I get to go first on this one. And if you object, go jump on a rusty nail, tough,” said Rosemary sternly as she waved her debit card in front of the Come Back With My Turban game. Instantly a red remote rose up out of the floor and she grabbed it and said exuberantly,” Let the winning be really so really the bestest!”
Then a red, pink, and yellow turban appeared on top of Rosemary’s head. And just as it did an 8 foot white tiger leapt at her and snatched the holographic turban. Then it let out a roar and shot into the jungle maze. Rosemary’s character of Sediu (a 3 headed yellow eyed walrus wearing a tuxedo) shot after the tiger riding a waterspout of blue and purple water.
“Oh this is sick, I hope you win something, Rosemary. That one, Grega, really worked out well for us all,” said Pat slyly as he laughed to himself.
Grega looked at him sternly and then tried to laugh it off as he wanted to punch Pat in the mouth, but instead he used his fake joy to conceal it. This made Pat laugh harder and then Pat said coyly,” I’m just kidding, Grega, but we wouldn’t all be here if you hadn’t won.”
“That’s right, Man, we got to win in a lot of ways or we can’t exist. I agree, Man, that’s the way the universe spits us all out. We are molecules of cool, and we are energy passing through a fish tank of cosmic goo, Man. I once was asked for my religious beliefs and I said…get the fuck away from my stash you inbred Ned!” said Teg jokingly as he pretended he was playing a flute and he farted loudly.
Everyone but Rosemary and Grega laughed. Grega was still trying to figure out if Pat had slighted him, but then he remembered the Soaring Foeverit. Grega started hoping Pat would careen into a building or the ground and this caused him to smile.
“You’re spewing the new religion, Teg. I haven’t heard such genius since I was at a bean supper in Waterville. And it weren’t so sweat I swear,” said Den sarcastically as he laughed. Teg started grooving his head from side to side.
Rosemary raced Sediu through a tube of green water after the tiger. It knocked over rock walls in the tube and Sediu had to jump over the rocks. This while Rosemary started to get nervous and clutch the remote tighter as she wondered if she’d ever catch a break.
“That was my brother, Man. He tours all over the country Dirtville, Grass City everywhere the world is he plays,” said Teg sarcastically as he grinned and looked at everyone with his tongue out the side of his mouth. He was trying to impress everyone but Pat thought that something was still not right with him.
Grega was laughing nervously as he couldn’t wait to watch Pat and Amo fall to their deaths. He knew that
if it was something Teg was selling then it had to be some sort of scam. He was gonna make damn sure Pat and Amo went first while he went last.
“Boy you are the coolest of the cool, Teg! I never heard a symphony of sheer rapture in all my life, Man! Which way to the 1960’s whoweee?!” asked Pat sarcastically as he pretended to be Teg and did a hippie dance with his hands. Everyone laughed including Teg as he didn’t want to let on that Pat had stuck it to him because he still needed the money.
Rosemary swam through a river of black and yellow smoke as she neared a spot where she could catch the tiger.
“I almost got you Tiger oh Tiger. Let the victory hug me tightly,” said Rosemary happily as she neared the tiger. Then in one quick motion she reached out and grabbed the Turban and shouted,” That’s the good stuff alright!”
Suddenly a hologram of Pauco Esseric appeared wearing a black cashmere sweater and a pair of sunglasses with purple skinny lenses. He had long red hair that is wavy and has a pair of golden charms tied into the right side (and they are of Besper the Bold). He also has golden and purple soft eyes and a thin upturned nose, as well as full lips.
Besper the Bold is a Doramoc cartoon character who looks like a balloon as he has a massive round furry head and fat rounded arms with huge hands. He also has a bolt of lightning in each of his eyes that continues to strike his eyebrows as well as a dark blue pyramid in the center of his forehead and the words,” Try sarcasm, I swear it’s really great,” written inside it in bold green letters. Besper the Bold is used as a way for the government to shape its young minds. In every episode it champions the idea of destroying your enemies and always seeing outsiders as to be not trusted. They also started an on running joke where a Doramoc would be asked by an alien,” Can you help me out of a jam?” to which Besper would beat the alien to death and say,” I can now.
“Hello there young lady, I am Pauco Esseric and you’ve won a grand and magical gift. I am holding a Bamram Ball at the Esseric cluster tomorrow afternoon. It will go into the wee hours of the night and you and up to 6 friends are now security clearance 15. This means there is no where you can’t go in the splendor we enjoy here. Your security pass is being printed out now in the Emosly. And there are many prizes to be won so I wouldn’t lose that pass if I were you. Now if you want a bit of advice I would tell you to bring a piece of luggage, but I can’t tell you why. I’ll see you then,” said Pauco warmly as he grinned slightly and then floated away.
Rosemary saw her pass coming out of a slot in the floor and as soon as it came out she grabbed it and screamed. Pat started screaming with Rosemary and flailing his arms. Everyone laughed except for Grega who was pissed he didn’t win the prize or get to be the funny one. All Grega could do was grimace and look out the window.
“I always knew I was something great! And now I am, so all those bitches from high school can kiss my ass, while I dance into prosperity! Yes, yes yahoo yes baby!” yelled Rosemary excitedly as she shook her Bamram pass above her head and shook her breasts.
Meanwhile Teg stared right at her and wished she was naked.
“Well at least you’re taking it in stride. I haven’t seen such excitement since I had sex with the head of the Dungeons and Dragons club,” said Amo sarcastically as she tried not to laugh.
Pat howled with laughter while Teg sat there hoping no one noticed his nervousness. Pat thought how odd Teg’s nervousness was and how it reminded him of the way he used to be, as well as that Teg might be homeless.
“Stride, stride off I’m fuckin’ goin’ for it all! Hey, Teg, how soon ‘til we get to the Soaring Foeverit?” asked Rosemary excitedly as she looked out the window and smiled. She remembered Margie
Roonhaurer and the time she gave Rosemary a wedgie at homecoming. Rosemary wished she were there right now to punch her in the face.
“Me Lady, don’t steal me gravy. I know I been lazy, but don’t run me through gravy, Man. When the world sings We Are The World I’ll play guitar my friends! We are at the doorstep of sheer enjoyment and the doors are open woo! Let’s go see a friend and remember be friendly and don’t steal me gravy, we’re here, Man,” said Teg excitedly as he clapped his hands and stomped his feet.
Everyone laughed and they looked outside and could see a navy blue takeoff strip for all the people wearing the different colored Ge suits. It also had a black and green spotted 2 story clubhouse set up at the edge of the takeoff strip called,” Green and Other Lies.”
Green and Other Lies consists of a pair of holographic lions prowling out in front with brown leather headgear on each of them. It has phrases coming out of the building like,” It could be a mistake to be mistaken as to whether it’s a real gun your facin’, but shoot who cares,” as well as the phrase,” I raced through a lifetime of failures one after another when I stopped accepting my fate as being fateless.”
There are 6 large green marble urns set up in a row in front of the clubhouse. Each of the urns have different colored smokes coming out of them, with each one having a different effect on the senses (like one that releases all inhibitions). There are several large and small signs set up around the takeoff strip that people have put there after successfully landing at the bottom. They say things like,” Jake was a man who fell like a bird and now he ain’t no chicken finger lickin’,” as well as,” Ron sang a song that lasted a few notes past crazy and no he ain’t pushing up daises, but instead drinking his glory woa.” There are also several large brown leather couches and black leather chairs set up facing into a wall of trick mirrors. The mirrors allow you to sit comfortably and watch the people as they fall from behind the clubhouse. There are also beer dispensers around the roof that need only a debit card to get suds in your hand. There is the band The Fantasizing Realist playing on the roof of the clubhouse as they sit on couches.
The Fantasizing Realist is comprised of Sink, Punch, and Roger Fairchild with Sink being the father of the other two boys as well as the lead singer and guitar player. The group took shape after 20 years of failing in the music industry by Sink. This led to his two sons having just enough time to develop as musicians in their own right. Then one day Sink heard Punch writing a tender rock song and he exclaimed,” If that’s not a hit then the Beatles were a jazz band!” To which Punch said sharply,” Dad, get out of my room you’re naked again.” Then after clothes were put on the band started rehearsing. A month later they had their first gig at a speed dating gathering at Buddy’s pub. That was only 2 days ago and the boys and their father still haven’t been paid the 37 dollars they were promised for playing the gig.
“Is that beer or am I still hallucinating from the smell of Teg’s armpits wafting up?” asked Rosemary sarcastically as she hurried out of the Emosly. They all laughed except for Teg who forced a smile and cowered away.
Grega started to think of his game plan to get Amo and Pat to go first, as Pat noticed a look in Grega’s eye that he knew meant he was scheming something.
“Let there be rain, and let it be Naty light raindrops. Oh geez where is the breeze that blows through Grega’s buttocks hiding?” asked Den sarcastically as he used a joke Grega always hated when they were kids as he knew it would make Grega angry and it did causing him to lose his smile.
“I need’s me somewhere to feel the thunder of Den’s random thoughts. Wouldn’t you like to come with, Grega?” asked Pat sarcastically as he patted Grega on the back.
Grega bristled and Pat fought back laughter, because he also knew that joke. And that it was about when Grega went to let a fart and he shit his pants in front of Kristen Steway (Grega’s boyhood crush).
“Hey hands to yourself, Pat, it wasn’t funny then it still isn’t,” said Grega sharply as Pat looked at him wide-eyed and knew Grega was about to lose it. He also knew that he was right and Grega was hoping Pat fell to his death, because Grega’s hatred was so near the surface even for him.
“That’s true, Grega, I didn’t want to piss you off. It was all in good fun. We’re brothers right?” asked Pat coyly as he wanted to see if Grega would relent quickly knowing that meant Pat was right in his assumption.
Grega looked over at him, forced a smile and nodded quickly.
“Yeah, yeah we’re brothers that cab ride got to me that’s all. Maybe this Ge suit thing will brighten my mood. So where is this thing, Teg, let’s all get started?” asked Grega coyly as he looked around. Then he realized there were already 10 people in the green and black shiny suits. He thought it made them look like human bats only with egg helmets and golden sun shades. Grega said nervously,” Oh looky there, I see me some Ge suits. Well how stu-pid am I?” asked Grega in a southern accent as Pat pretended not to notice his tap dancing routine, but knew what was coming next.
“They’re right where your eyes sees ‘em. That’s where only invisible people live, Man. And no it ain’t heaven, instead it is the Ge suit baby! Try on one and feel the flight, of soaring through the air on a cool summer’s night. Old Teg will meet ya at the bottom as I show you how they work,” said Teg enthusiastically as he ran over and grabbed a Ge suit. His wife Pamray walked over to everyone and Teg gave her a kiss.
Pamray Jenkon has dark brown shoulder length straight hair, with a tiny pink bear on the left side.
Her eyes are blood red and her nose is thin and cute. She has a round cheek with a reddish hue, as well as she has on purple lipstick. She is 6’1” and weighs 120 pounds with small breasts and a large butt. She has on a black silk jacket and a white t-shirt with the words,” Loneliness corrupts masturbation, but hands are never lonely for long,” written above a soft white and green pair of hands with a blind man’s eyes above them. She also has on a pair of red Nike running shoes and a purple skirt with the words,” I only asked God for forgiveness pre-affair,” written around the front side in blue letters.
“Are these the people Teg’s told me so little about?” asked Pamray jokingly as she looked at everyone. Then she asked,” Are we going to be flying through the skies tonight? It’s fun!”
Grega didn’t say anything in the hopes that Pat and Amo would as he looked calmly at the ground.
Pat knew what he was doing as did Amo so they each said nothing all the while the silence made Teg have a mini panic attack.
“I’ll try it, sounds like it could be a real amazin’ x-perience,” said Den happily as he grinned at Pamray. She smiled from ear to ear as she got ready to ask for payment.
Grega was still not responding as he hoped to make Amo and Pat nervously say they’d do it, but they just smiled and said nothing.
“If Den lives then I’ll do it too. But I’ve got to get a beer in me first,” said Rosemary warmly as she eyed the beer dispenser. Teg and Pamray were still hoping Amo, Pat, and Grega would do it as well.
“Well the price is only 700 dollars a person per jump. And you have to sign a waiver for insurance reasons. Is that a good deal, Man?” asked Teg anxiously as a hint of a smile raced across his face. He was hoping desperately that someone would want to jump because money was tight and he needed a back operation due to chronic pain.
“I’ll tell ya, it’s not a big deal. I’ll give ya mine and Rosemary’s cash right now. And if it’s fun I’ll do it again here ya go,” said Den happily as he counted out the 1400 dollars and then handed it to Pamray.
Pamray smiled from ear to ear as she knew that they weren’t tight wads and would probably want to do it again.
“Alright then Teg will show you how to put on the Ge suit and then you can watch him jump off the side. Trust me it’s safe you don’t have to worry at all, enjoy,” said Pamray brightly as she kissed Teg and then headed for the clubhouse.
Pat thought it strange he had met Teg and Pamray and that people so different from himself were in the world. Amo meanwhile was hoping she didn’t have to tell Pat not to try the Ge suit as she knew it was way too dangerous and that Grega was too happy for them to try it.
“Ya know, Pamray, I think I’ll try it too. And I’ll give you money for, Pat, and, Amo, in case they’re up for it as well,” said Grega coyly as he counted out the money.
Pamray hurried back over to him with a smile on her face, as Grega knew he had to do a bit of coaxing to get Amo and Pat to jump. Pat and Amo looked at each other anxiously as they both thought what a bastard Grega was. Then Grega handed Pamray the money.
“Ya know it’s really not necessary for you to pay for us. We’re not livin’ in squalor for fuck’s sake,”
said Pat coyly and in a stern voice as he knew Grega wouldn’t let him pay. Pat’s hand darted into his own pocket to grab his wallet.
“No, Pat, no seriously I got this! It’s the least I can do for a brother. Hey I know you’ll get me back someday so I’m not worried a bit. Hey let’s get started on this fuckin’ thing. You want to go first, Pat, then you can tell us how fun it was?” asked Grega coyly as he grinned at Pat who had a smile on his face and was rubbing Amo’s back as she grinned.
“Well I don’t know. I’ll have to see if I’m up for it. Maybe you should get to go first seein’ as you paid and all, Grega,” said Pat coyly as he grinned and Grega’s smile instantly started to fade. Pat and Amo had no intention of going they just wanted to trick Grega into actually doing it. Grega felt incredibly nervous that he might have to do it and die in the process.
“No, no I wouldn’t feel right about it to go first. No God damn it I insist,” said Grega forcefully and coyly as he started to panic and looked nervously at Pat and Amo. This while his heart beat out of his chest and Amo and Pat tried not to smile.
“I can’t let my dear Pat take any charity. No, no I wouldn’t hear of it. I say you go first, or we don’t jump,” said Amo coyly as she smirked and looked at Pat who was smiling slightly and wanting to burst out with laughter.
Meanwhile Grega started pacing back and forth as he suddenly realized he was going to fucking die if he jumped and couldn’t think of a solution.
“Well I wouldn’t worry ‘bout the fear, Man, I’m doin’ what I can to make sure that you’re not a spot of human Spam. Let the riddle of your death remain unsolved by the solver of things, Man. I wouldn’t let the reaper man know your plans or be shittin’ bricks of dirt! Don’t get your feelings hurt. Just trust ole Teg he won’t break your legs woa woa li lump, Man,” said Teg brightly as he danced around and everyone laughed except for Grega.
Grega was now completely terrified as he knew he was dead if he jumped.
Pat and Amo weren’t leaving him a way out no matter what. This while Pat and Amo laughed really hard because they knew exactly what Grega was thinking and were thankful they had a chance to laugh.
“Yeah Jesus, Grega, stop bein’ such a pussy!” said Pat coyly as he threw up his hands. “So what if you die you’ll be too dead to care. Look at Teg he’s livin’. And me and Amo were livin’ too. It’s perfectly safe have at it,” said Pat coyly in a stern voice as he patted Grega on the back hard.
Grega cringed and felt uneasy and his eyes darted away from Pat. Grega realized Pat might be on to him, but then remembered that Pat wasn’t that smart and he calmed down. This while Pat and Amo were overjoyed at how nervous Grega looked.
“Yeah, Grega, where’s your sack? It was your fuckin’ idea to come up here in the first place. Show us your man bulge,” said Amo coyly and sternly as Pat fought back laughter and pretended to be coughing and Den laughed.
Meanwhile Teg smiled and walked up to Grega with a pair of Ge suits and a smile.
Grega looked at them and how shoddy they looked and knew he was about to die.
“Take a ride with Teg and then you’ll see that birds can’t fly like you and me, Man. Let us feel the Earth’s sweet embrace as we fly through outer space. We can be air and say wa, where, but where is the man with blue back hairs?” asked Teg half jokingly as his eyes bugged out. Teg did an awkward dance with his hands and then let out a quick squawk. Everyone except for Grega laughed who instead started to sweat and grimace. Teg handed him the Ge suit and Pat continued to laugh so hard he was tearing up.
Amo laughed as she bent over at the waist and knew Grega had no way out and this caused them to laugh even harder.
Teg slipped on his suit and pointed to Grega’s Ge suit’s front and Grega nodded. Then Grega started to put it on and started to try and poke a hole in it with his fingers in the hopes of not having to jump. He soon realized there was no way to tear it because it was super strong.
Pat continued to laugh.
“You look a bit sheepish, Grega, are your panties ridin’ ya tight?” asked Den jokingly as he watched Grega pulling on the Ge suit. Den knew he was pissed and Grega glared at Den and nodded aggressively and Den burst out laughing.
Teg now had his suit on and was limbering up next to Grega by running in place. And then he reached down for his toes and made Grega even more nervous.
Pat and Amo were in heaven as Rosemary walked up next to them and saw Grega struggling with the suit. Grega was hoping someone would make fun of him so he could just say fuck it I’m not doing it, but Pat and Amo suspected this and said nothing.
Rosemary was calmly drinking her Natural light and waiting to see Grega lift off. She couldn’t stop thinking about the Bamram ball and how much she might win.
“So, Rosemary, who’s goin’ with you to the Bamram?” asked Amo as she watched a bird zip past Rosemary’s head. “Please say me please say me,” pleaded Amo jokingly as she gently grabbed Rosemary’s shoulder.
Rosemary watched this as Grega looked over at them quickly like he was waiting for someone to say something.
“What?!” asked Grega fiercely as he thought they were talking to him and he could ditch the Ge suit if they were.
“I was just asking Rosemary about the Bamram ball. I wasn’t talking to you,” said Amo loudly as she knew what Grega was trying to do. Amo thought how pathetic he was and then looked at him fiercely tugging at his suit. Amo had to pinch her own arm to keep from laughing as Pat started running towards the clubhouse. Pat knew he couldn’t hold his laughter after such a pathetic act by Grega.
Pat got inside and burst out laughing. All the patrons at the bar looked over at him as he rolled with uncontrollable loud laughter and punched his own chest.
“That was the fuckin’ most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen! I don’t care if you’re all staring at me it’s worth it!” said Pat happily as he laughed and everyone in the bar started laughing. Pamray walked up to Pat who was bent over and rubbed his back and smiled.
“Are you alright, I thought you were going to jump?” asked Pamray warmly as she looked around as Pat continued to laugh and then he slowly stood straight up and saw it was Pamray.
“Oh hey, I’m sorry I just heard a very funny and very pathetic joke. I’ll be fine in a minute woo,”
said Pat coyly as he pulled it together. Then he realized Grega might be getting ready to jump. He hurried back out the doors and saw Grega still pulling on the suit very slowly with a scowl on his face. Amo fought back laughter and she hurried over to Pat.
“Look, Pat, I’m about to lose it. Look how pathetic he’s being. He’s been tugging on that right sleeve for 5 minutes. Oh Jesus look at him now,” said Amo happily and softly as she and Pat ducked into the bar and looked back at Grega.
Grega pretended the sleeves didn’t fit, but they were actually too large and not too small. Pat and Amo laughed hysterically and fell into each other’s arms.
“Oh my God look at him now he’s trying to kick out the bottom of each of the feet. Now that is fucking childish. Is this guy actually our friend?” asked Pat in disbelief as Grega fought with his Ge suit and continued to grimace.
This while he thought hey if I jump off the side I’m not coming back. I’ll do whatever I have to, to live fuck what anyone thinks.
Den stood there watching him with a wry smile on his face as he knew Grega was boiling over and didn’t want to jump.
“Did you hear the news?” asked Pamray as she walked up next to Pat and she sipped a rum and Coke. She was worried about telling Pat and Amo about anything depressing as they might leave.
“No, what happened? Is it bad?” asked Pat in a concerned tone as he had no idea what she was referring to. Pat thought she could be joking as Pat squinted his eyes and folded his arms.
“Russia attacked Iran with a missile. And Iran just launched its fleet of ships and fighter anti-gravity war planes into Russia. It’s all over the TV you should take a look,” said Pamray nervously as she played with her hair.
Pat and Amo were taken aback as they looked around the room for a TV and saw a holographic newscast at the far end of the bar.
The room is 2 tiered and made from maple round pieces of wood both large and small. It has a long counter that snakes through the entire 500 foot long room. It twists and turns continuously and is white marble. There are anti-gravity barrel shaped chairs set up around the bar and they each have a black leather seat and back that are filled with snacks that you can get with a swipe of your debit card. Behind the bar are hundreds of 1 foot statues of every alien race’s leader the Doramocs had conquered. It included a red skinned golden haired woman named Dusu Gaham, and it covered an entire wall with 3
large circles set in them for the whiskey.
Dusu Gaham is a feisty 147 year old ball of fire who has had every person that ever caused her pain decapitated. She has a policy of encouraging drug addiction for her people (known as the Flats). She believes this makes them unable to contest her doctrine as they are preoccupied with a popular drug on their planet of Rusho called Magai pills. She uses the population’s lack of motivation (or clear heads) against them at every turn. She even enacted a law that required 75 percent of every dollar earned go to her and her regime. Her reign of terror went on for a century as she had taken over at age 13. Then suddenly the Doramoc’s landed on Rusho and within 14 hours her reign had come to an end. Her army was obliterated and even her personal battleship was destroyed in a matter of seconds, as she tried in vain to flee. Then a new Doramoc friendly government sprung up in her stead that was more willing to spread equal rights.
There is a pit on the left side of the room that has a circular burgundy couch surrounding a holographic TV, and it has a built in beer dispenser in the center. The walls of the room have holographic pictures and quotes from former patrons that say things like,” I almost did something stupid and dated a genius,” as well as the quote,” When Indians owned America they shit wherever they felt like it. So you can’t blame the buffalo for walking cautiously.” The ceiling in the room has a massive Greenberry cartoon that reads,” Did a lunatic create the term stir crazy when he was drinking his morning cup of Joe or was it me,” written beneath a small mouthed lion sitting on a blue couch wearing a Red Sox uniform.
“So they finally snapped and let those innocent Iranians have it. And all along I thought peace was forever,” said Pat sarcastically as he eyed a dozen Iranian anti-gravity ships on a bombing mission outside Krakow. Where you could literally ride inside the cockpit and follow a bomb to its target using different holographic images. Pat saw this and it made him think how useless wars were and Amo felt the same way. He started to tear up as she thought of the defenseless Russian children who were dying needlessly.
“I really hope this doesn’t drag on like most wars. I don’t think I could handle another Dublin rebuttal,” said Amo as she wept and used a tissue from her pocket to wipe the tears from her eyes and her runny nose.
Pat hugged her tightly and thought how brave she was for showing her emotions.
The Dublin rebuttal was a 10 year war fought between Sweden and Ireland that happened when Amo was only 7 and went through her 17th year. It was started after Prime Minister Johnny O’hallorap threw a beer into the face of Sweden’s king Borlgen Wunderhaimer. It was after he commented that Johnny’s wife had one of the roundest and hardest asses he’d ever seen and that he’d love to roll over and see her gooey and tired in the morning. After the incident (which came to blows) the Irish army invaded Sweden and a brutal and savage war proceeded to take place where 5 million civilian and military lives were lost.
It had its crescendo with the Irish winning the war and taking over Sweden and thus christening it,” Little Irish.”
“Nobody wants that, there were many people who died needlessly in that one. Can I get the two of you a drink, whiskey, beer?” asked Pamray as she grimaced and looked at the explosions. Then a pair of Blood Burner bombs hit a crowded Krakow street killing every person in sight.
The Blood Burner bomb is a massive brainwave scrambler and blood igniter that does just that. With your blood literally catching fire and your brainwaves forced to go in random directions causing pure madness.
“Yeah, Pamray, I’m gonna need a beer make it a Naty light, thanks,” said Amo anxiously as she tried to put the war out of her mind, but couldn’t.
Meanwhile Pat stared at the image of a gutted hotel and felt wrecked by it, but wanted to stand strong for Amo.
“Nothing for me, I need my wits about me. Hey we forgot about Grega let’s go see what happened to him, alright?” asked Pat warmly as he clutched Amo and she looked at him. This while she thought it might be a nice change of pace.
They walked outside and saw Grega grimacing and tugging on his sleeve, and they both smiled.
“I can’t quite get it, it might be too small, well I tried,” said Grega in exasperation as he threw up his hands and thought he found a way out.
Teg hurried over to him and quickly grabbed his sleeve and pulled it on. Grega’s heart sank as he knew he was fucking going to die.
“There you go my friend o’ friend. Pulled it on it don’t need mend. Now we’ll go where ravens live.
And race towards the ground like a flaming egg. So don’t you fear and turd your leg. Just remember trust your dear friend Teg, man. While you liked my brand new tune another bird just went vroom vroom…,”
said Teg happily as he slowly did one step after another. It made his arms move slowly, but he was cut off by Grega.
“Are you fuckin’ tryin’ to kill me, Teg? Did I do something to you somewhere and now you’re gonna split my skull?” asked Grega angrily as he glared at Teg.
Teg looked back at him vacantly and thought he was just joking. All this while Pat and Amo saw what was happening and fought to keep from laughing.
“Dear old Teg won’t split your egg or break those legs. Dear old Teg wants to hug you tight man and fill your heart with love and grooves…,” said Teg happily as he side stepped and pretended to hug Grega.
Grega looked at him with a cold stare as he was dying to find an excuse not to jump.
“Grooves, you’re gonna fuckin’ kill me aren’t ya?! Is this some sort of murder attempt?!” asked Grega fiercely and nervously as he looked at Teg, but was also aware that Pat and Amo had just walked up and were eyeing him sternly.
“Jesus, Grega, he’s just doin’ his job. Take a relax your ax pill,” said Den sternly as he drank his Natural light. Den thought to himself how funny the situation was now that Grega was acting the way Pat used to.
Pat and Amo stood there looking on as Grega and started to feel embarrassed that everyone was making him feel like a jerk and a coward. This as he stood there in his Ge suit and looked like a little kid.
“Oh Jesus, Den, I don’t see you putting on one of these suits and jumping off a fucking building.
What about that, let’s hear it, Den?” asked Grega coyly and nervously as he grimaced and thought that he hoped Den would say that he would do it because he challenged him.
This while Amo and Pat saw the play and fought back laughter. Meanwhile Rosemary was on her 3rd Natural light and was enjoying the view.
“I’m just waiting for you to go first. Then I’ll jump and show you how it’s done by a real pro oh ho.
Let’s go, Grega, your ass hair’s showin’,” said Den jokingly in a stern voice.
Grega bit his lower lip because he was scared to death and there were no outs. Rosemary sipped her beer and thought about the Bamram and maybe her winning what Pat had won and getting a posh place of her own.
“You could be happy yes indeed. If you’d only jump with meee. Let’s grab some air ‘cause we don’t care, Man. Sheep are scared while we are the bravest of coward’s gravy, me baby. Don’t steal me gravy, baby hmm,” said Teg happily as he danced in a circle. Pat and Amo rolled with laughter as Grega watched Teg dance and he was forced to smile.
“Alright fine, I’m gonna fuckin’ die, but at least we’ll all get a big laugh at my dead expense. Let’s go, Teg, right now I’m ready!” said Grega forcefully and coyly as he hoped everyone would laugh and he could get out of jumping by saying he didn’t want to get laughed at. But no one laughed because they knew what he was trying and kept their faces stern looking.
Meanwhile Teg led Grega over to the jumping spot that was a round black rubber encased hole that went down a slide and then out into mid-air.
Everyone grabbed a seat and took a look at the trick mirrors that showed a perfect view of the side of the building. They could also see other people flying in and around the building in the Ge suits, as well as Wexor and Terponic’s floating living room at the next building over (as it floated calmly and eerily as it was all lit up).
“Is that a floating living room over there I see?” asked Rosemary in disbelief as she eyed Wexor who was pacing back and forth in front of his holographic TV.
“If it isn’t, then there’s emerald dust in our beers. Wowoo, now I’ve seen it all!” said Den as he shook side to side, drank his beer and let out a fart.
Grega meanwhile was nearing the edge and could see how shoddy the rubber hole and slide were. He started to sweat profusely as Amo and Pat eyed Wexor in disbelief as they wondered at such a sight.
“Even people who’ve seen it all haven’t seen that. I wonder if they’re thrill seekers like us, who were just sitting in their living room when one of them said. Hey let’s see if we can fly the whole fucking room
outside? Then off they went into the void,” asked Rosemary jokingly as she crossed her legs and continued to drink her beer. This while everyone smiled and Den laughed.
“Ok, Grega, don’t be a worryin’ ‘bout feelin’ no pain. It’s not the fall that kills you, but the crushing of your brain. And when your wings catch fire and your hair is all ablaze, you’ll wish for something wet and get a watery grave. So now that we’re…,” said Teg happily as he smiled and put on his golden sunglasses before Grega cut him off.
“Shut the fuck up. Just shut you fucking mouth you’re not making any sense or this any easier. Now God shit fuck where do I jump?” asked Grega loudly as his nerves were taking hold. He looked down with wide eyes and knew he was dead, but thought fuck it who cares I’ve lived my life. This while Teg looked at him with a smirk and thought Grega needed a warm cup of chocolate milk.
“Just aim for the hole with your two front feet then jump on in and you’ll feel so free, Man. And while Teg’s your buddy he’s your best friend too. So let him…,” said Teg brightly as he pointed to the hole and started dancing. But Grega couldn’t take another word so he jumped in and went down through the hole in a second as he screamed out in fear.
Grega went down the slide at rocket speed and was thrust out into the air, as he completely panicked and started flailing his arms.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ die! Save me, somebody save me!” shouted Grega nervously as he started plummeting towards the crowd in a curled up heap. He knew he was going to die and he started to cry.
“Is that supposed to happen, Teg?” asked Amo in a concerned voice as she looked at Teg who was smiling as he watched Grega doing spin after spin.
“Oh yeah, every time it’s the same old thing. Your friend is a real pussy. I’ve seen small children with more nerves. Ok he’s near the fun part, keep your eyes on him,” said Teg calmly as he stepped up to
the edge. Teg turned and balanced over the edge by just his toes, as he prepared to do a back flip. This while Grega fell helplessly end over end.
“Please let me die! I can’t take it anymore!” screamed Grega as he tumbled story after story. Then suddenly the arms of the Ge suit straightened out and Grega did a swan dive upward at incredible speed.
He zipped past Wexor and Terponic’s living room startling the two of them for a moment. This caused Grega to feel an enormous adrenaline rush. He flew even higher and said excitedly,” This is unbelievable!
I’m not dead and I’m breathin!” said Grega excitedly as he soared up even higher and felt amazing.
“Can you believe what he is doing out there? He’s actually flying,” asked Amo in disbelief with her mouth agape as she watched Grega flying up past where they were sitting only 100 feet away from them.
She thought how crazy he was for doing something so stupid and Pat was thinking the same thing.
Pat sat forward in his chair and eyed Grega quizzically and could see him suddenly starting to dive straight down. Grega’s heart skipped a beat as did everyone else’s.
“Oh Jesus no, don’t let me die up here! Somebody help me I can’t control it!” screamed Grega causing everyone to laugh and Teg smiled.
“Don’t worry the suit will shoot him up in a minute, I’m gonna go out and fly with him and see if I can calm his girly nerves, see ya,” said Teg slyly as he grinned and then did a backflip and a twist. Teg shot through the hole and down the slide gracefully.
Teg dove straight down after a screaming Grega was going every which way. Teg reached him and Grega suddenly shot up again and did a series of forward and backward flips. He was soaring up and he felt like he’d seen God he was so disorientated. He looked up at the stars and felt an inner calm.
“Ok, Grega, you need to get your ass down and keep it alive without crashing into anything. This suit is gonna flip at any moment and you are…,” said Grega calmly as he flew up, but then he passed through
an alt rock song called ,”2” by the band Raging Ramparts and it thundered in Grega’s ears. It scared the shit out of him as he started batting his ears and then shouted,” I’m going crazy, I’m losin’ it!”
Raging Ramparts are comprised of a trio of brothers named Filma, Ted, and Porass Balsony. They each have an acquired talent besides playing an instrument. Filma can act out all of Hamlet while singing the band’s weekly performance, as well as convey to the audience the power of her songs. Ted has the innate ability to play guitar while doing flips, twists, and even splits that include intricate solos without breaking a sweat. While Porass can get an audience to scream uncontrollably with only a look dubbed,”
The core,” by the Village Voice newspaper that entails an unwavering power and calmness while singing and playing perfect drums.
“You’re fine, Grega, don’t worry about that it’s just music. Ole Teg will guide the way grab on, Man,” said Teg as he flew next to Grega who gladly latched onto Teg’s back. They shot straight towards the ground.
“They seem to have righted the lack of ship. What a jackass, why did he go up there?” asked Amo as she had a hint of a smile come across her face.
Pat laughed as did Rosemary and Den while they continued to drink their Natural lights. They watched Grega and Teg doing loops and swirl patterns in and around the building.
“This is soo awesome, woo wahoo! I love it, Teg,” shouted Grega happily as they did a barrel roll and veered over to the roof of Wexor’s building and landed softly. They saw a tiny restaurant set up there with a few people sitting and eating. Grega was ecstatic to be on solid ground and then he looked around and said excitedly,” Teg, that was so sick, Pat and them have no idea what I just did.”
The top of the roof had a dozen statues of Wexor set up in a circle that 2 people could sit inside and have dinner or a meal. There was also a table and purple robotic seat that moves you ever so slightly to keep your back in alignment and reduce muscle fatigue. There are also holographic avatars you can
control from your table that are 10 feet tall and fight in a pit in front of the tables. The winners get the combined wagers and the restaurant throws in a chance at a grand prize of a Reseo.
A Reseo has a luxury anti-gravity ship that runs the length of a football field, as well as being 40
stories high. It has the shape of a square turtle with a dark blue shell like body and 6 large laser canons per side. Its stretchers and allows you to pass freely to an alternate reality and any dimension if you so choose. Each of the Reseo are fully equipped with luxury living quarters and 3 years worth of supplies.
“Grega, no one can tell what greatness lurks beneath the surface of our raggedy shells. We were but children when life made us men. Remember those fumblings when tragedy was reality and I was forever happy. Why don’t we grab something to eat, Man,” said Teg warmly as he started for one of the Wexor statues.
Grega was right beside him looking at him in shock as he didn’t realize Teg was very smart at all.
“That was a beautiful thing you just said there, Teg. I never heard it put like that, but it’s true,” said Grega calmly as he was still taken aback by what Teg had said. Teg just grinned slightly and nodded.
“Well just as long as you don’t try and put your stuff in my turd receptacle, we won’t have a problem. When the yellow snow is dinner, we’re all eatin’ shit. Just remember that while we’re eating dinner. Which is on me by the way, Man,” said Teg slyly as he stepped up into the Wexor statue. He was followed by Grega who was laughing and looking around and thinking Teg was a character. Grega also thought he had to be smarter than he was letting on.
“Don’t worry, Teg, you’re not my type. I’m into way hairier women than you. I’m just kiddin’ ya, but it’s true,” said Grega sarcastically as he fought back laughter and wiped his eyes.
Teg started to wonder if Grega was gay. Teg squinted at him and thought about leaving him at the restaurant and flying back alone.
Then up walked a turquoise and yellow colored lion shaped robot waiter with an electronic menu, and her name was Steava.
“This is all we are serving at the moment. And we’ve got a game of chance where you can use an avatar and fight for a chance at a Reseo ship that is well worth it. The current wager is 800 dollars are you interested?” asked Steava warmly as he pulled out a golden canister filled with hundreds. When Grega heard what he said he perked up and took the menu.
“Yeah, I love a good bet so how do I control the avatar?” asked Grega happily as he thought how fun it was to gamble and grinned slightly at Steava.
Steava pulled out a dark green colored alligator shaped controller and handed it to Grega.
“It’s simple, the controls are marked right on it and you fight to the death in the pit there. And lucky for you there’s only one other person who’s competing. The winner has to defeat a lightning quick pixie just after one of you wins. So be ready because it happens fast. After you type in what you want the food will be brought out in about 2 minutes. Your match starts in 30 seconds, be ready,” said Steava warmly and then he ran off.
Grega frantically tried to figure out the controller. His avatar was a dark blue butterfly shaped muscle man with 7 red eyes. It has a black marble Viking helmet with an eagle’s head shooting out the sides of its head, as well as a blue flaming ball next to each hand that it can hurl and destroy a foe. The avatar is called the Yealup.
“Hey, Grega, you want a beer, a shot, or a man in a two-two?” asked Teg half jokingly as he still wasn’t too happy about Grega riding over on his back if he was gay. He wanted to fish and see what he thought about it. This while Grega sat there frantically playing with the controller and he only half heard Teg and didn’t realize he thought he was gay.
“Make it a beer and I think I’m gonna get a steak to fill that belly of mine with some meat,” said Grega playfully as his Yealup did flips and kicks in the pit. This while the other contestant’s half-cougar half-robot called a Coba, prowled around the pit. Grega thought it looked easily beatable.
While Teg heard Grega’s comment about meat and thought he meant filling him with his penis. Teg was instantly nervous as his eyes darted around the room.
Teg looked at Grega’s hint of a smile and thought it odd he was so happy. Teg looked at the menu and saw the special dish was piggies in a blanket. He started to sweat as he thought it was a sign. And if it was he was ditching Grega and flying off without his gay ass.
“I think I’ll just have some potatoes and gravy, yes me gravy,” said Teg slowly as he eyed Grega intently.
Grega’s match started and Grega’s Yealup did a 900 degree spinning flip and threw a ball of fire down on the Coba’s head, knocking it to the ground.
The Coba rolled up onto its feet and swung its red energy baseball bat. This knocked the Yealup towards Grega and Teg causing Teg to be a bit frightened, as it caught him off guard.
“Oh no you don’t, I’m getting’ freekie with your ass!” said Grega excitedly as he started racing his Yealup onto the top of a Wexor statue. It jumped from one statue to the next firing the balls of fire down at the Coba blowing it up in the air again and again. Grega yelled,” You like my fireballs don’t ya you little Bitch!”
This caused Teg to feel even more nervous as he looked at Grega wide eyed. Teg got up and raced over to the edge of the roof and jumped off.
Grega meanwhile continued to shoot his balls of fire at Coba one after another and it was almost done for. Then the Coba dove at Yealup and bashed his legs with his bat. The Yealup lurched forward and
fell on top of Coba. They started exchanging blows and Grega wasn’t sure how to shake the Coba off of him. Grega was sweating like a prom date
“Get off me you shit head! Let go right now!” said Grega fiercely and then he hit Coba in the face with a fireball and his head exploded. Grega fired another trio of fireballs and yelled triumphantly,” How do you like my dinner fireball soup!”
The balls hit the Coba and it burst into flames and started to fold inward. Within a few seconds Coba was only a green ball of shaking, glowing energy making Grega nervous. The energy became a hardened green and black shell. Only to explode and out sprang a red faced pixie with a 5 foot long glowing sword and it shot at Grega.
“Oh Jesus not yet you don’t, you fucker!” said Grega sharply as his Yealup ducked a sword blow and the Yealup shot a fireball at the pixie and it grazed its head. The pixie shot to the left and swung its sword at the Yealup. It severed its right arm sending a plume of glowing blood into the air.
The Yealup wasn’t dead yet and did a front forward roll and shot a fireball at the pixie hitting its sword and blowing it to pieces.
“That’s right you little bitch! Ole Grega ain’t done with you yet! Try and run I’ll catch ya,” said Grega sternly as his Yealup raced after the pixie as it flew in and around the other tables.
Steava walked calmly over to Grega’s table and set down his plate of steak and apple pie. He cleared his throat in the hopes of distracting him so he wouldn’t win the prize. Grega paid no mind and hurried his Yealup after the pixie. Grega threw a pair of fireballs at the pixie and knocked off its wings, sending it reeling onto a purple haired woman’s lap.
“Come back here you coward,” said Grega snidely as his Yealup rained fireballs onto the Pixie, but it eluded each and every one of them.
The pixie darted back and forth and the Yealup stomped on it with both feet after jumping in the air.
This caused the pixie to splatter like a sack of blueberries and Grega yelled happily,” The new days of prosperity have found my present!”
Then the pit filled with a red skull that had the body of a blue gumball and it said snidely,” You were a match for our bringers of death! So you’ve earned a new start and a new beginning! Let the destruction of every part of your pathetic former self start now! Bring in the Reseo my slaves!”
“You lucky prick,” said Steava sharply as he glared at Grega who was smiling back at him.
Grega looked around for his Reseo and saw it rise up from a few stories below the building.
“Oh Jesus that thing is gigantic. Is that really mine?” asked Grega in disbelief as he took a bite of his steak and quickly stood up and thought how great his luck was. Even though Grega wanted more food so he grabbed the steak with his left hand and started walking over to the Reseo very confidently as he ate his steak.
Grega walked up close to it and marveled at its size. When he took a step closer a retractable bridge extended out from it and suddenly there appeared a round blue robot. The robot had a long egg shaped head and glowing white eyes, as well as an orange glowing ball of energy in the center of its chest. It flew over to Grega using anti-gravity thrusters on its feet (and it was called a Hobii).
“Hello my new admiral, I am Hobii and I am the go to person on the Reseo if you need things done.
Is there a name you prefer?” asked Hobii warmly in a soft voice as he extended out a golden headset and single tinted eyeglass.
Grega took them both and put them on. He instantly could see exact differences from one color to another and how far things were away from him down to the millimeter, as well as through any wall that wasn’t steel. Also a list of the ship’s controls that included thrusters and exact temperature he wanted the rooms as well as the food to be heated too. Grega felt a rush of adrenaline as he couldn’t believe it.
“Ah…well just call me emperor or exalted Grega. Either one will keep me from melting you down, Hobii. Wow, I like all these controls this is really gonna be a fun ship to have. Why don’t we head inside and take a quick trip around. I need to see what she can do, what do you say, Hobii?” asked Grega happily as he smiled confidently and he started across the bridge with Hobii right beside him.
“She can do a lot that is for certain. And wait ‘til you taste the artichoke pie, mm mmm,” said Hobii proudly as he floated beside Grega.
Grega laughed and hoped that wasn’t the best food they had as he finished off the last of his steak.
“If that’s all you got I’ll be losing some weight. Please tell me you’ve got some sort of chocolate? Or I’ll be ordering some inconvenient take-out,” said Grega half jokingly as he entered a large archway that had the words of God written above it that read,” The smart man never will admit that I exist, because then he has to admit that someone knows or knew more than him. But what he always deduces without a seconds hesitation, is that a planet and sky mean science knows how it all went down. In essence I laugh in thinking you would ever put more meaning into something that took only an instant,” as was documented by Pasher Gid on the Steamlar planet in the Doralam galaxy.
Pasher Gid was a college professor on Steamlar at the University of Glumup for 17 years and was happy to do just that. Then one evening he started writing a note to God that thanked him for the life that Pasher had enjoyed up ‘til then. When suddenly a massive all encompassing series of thoughts took over his mind like he’d been hit with a ton of gold bars. He abandoned his note and started writing down these thoughts at a frenetic pace where he could barely control his own emotions. This ended up being a 332
page book called,” The Logic of Unorganized Organization.” The book included several believed to be actual words of God and included the poem,” I only see it from every angle, that is where my knowledge is limited too. The wind doesn’t know which way it will blow, but it’s blowing me there as I speak. I’ve got memories in mind as I open my heart, but I’ll forget half of them that I keep. If I’m driving the bus, and we’re headed to somewhere, maybe I’m not the one who should sleep.”
Inside the Reseo there is a pair of twisting hallways that go right and left and have 2 dozen different doors on either side. The walls of the hallway have paintings of famous jokesters and include La Guh (a welsh writer of jokes) who came up with the joke,” Too many cooks in the kitchen spoiled the soup. I agree, I ordered Danish sadly enough. That said the 3 cooks at my table are hogging the sugar so I’ve decided I’m not hungry. This is my protest,” written on the paintings along the walls. The floors in the hallway have a thick cashmere rug that has traction, but is also soft in parts and is dark green in color.
There is the song,” Sandy Rain,” by the band Religion Without Church.
Religion Without Church is a 10 piece band comprised of defrocked priests who have been kicked out of their respective churches because they couldn’t keep their vows of celibacy. The lead singer father Michael, was caught in a seedy motel with 8 naked buxom blonde haired women as he had a one man orgy. This led him to write the now famous song,” Why can’t I be lonely,” and gave them the number one spot on the Billboard pop charts.
“Alright, Hobii, I’m starving, which one of these fucking doors gets me warm food?” asked Grega sternly as he walked down the hallway dying of hunger.
“It’s at the end of the hallway, close to the command center. I will show you exactly, Emperor,” said Hobii brightly then he shot down the hallway and flew up next to a gold colored door.
Grega liked how he jumped into action and smiled as he felt powerful.
“Good work, Hobii, and that’s right! I tell you how it is, remember that,” said Grega sarcastically in a stern voice as he inspected Hobii who quivered. Grega fought back laughter and then said happily,” I was just kidding with ya. Let’s take a look at all the food, should be good.”
Grega turned his head revealing a full kitchen full of ovens and steel cases filled with everything from barbecue baby back ribs to a dozen lobster tails in a steamer. There are 15 statues of clowns in and around the room that are filled with candy and the walls have the words,” I nearly died of boredom at the
mention of hue, and in hue I mean red,” as well as the words,” Navigation takes 3 coordinates, where I want to go, where I am, and how far can I get away from you, ‘cause that’s where I’ll be,” written around the room in glowing blue holographic paint.
“Does this suit your flavor buds, Exalted Grega?” asked Hobii nervously as he looked nervously at Grega.
Grega looked at all the food in the 30 foot wide room wide-eyed and thought he’d hit the mother-load.
“Hobii, you weird bucket of bolts and recycled beer cans, this is just what exalted Grega was in the mood for. I’m gonna be a while so try not staring at me too hard as I feast,” said Grega slyly as he walked over to the glazed lobster tails and then smiled and took one out. Grega started nodding and eating as Hobii went over and hid in the corner.
Meanwhile everyone was drinking Natural Lights except for Pat and waiting for Teg and Grega to come back, as they sat in their chairs and looked out over the city.
“Ok would you rather have sex with me, or me? Because we’re both available,” asked Pat sarcastically as he ate a basket of shrimp and a cup of Alfredo dip. Pat thought that Amo looked hot sitting there with her legs nonchalantly crossed as she grinned at him.
This while Rosemary laughed as well as Den.
“I can’t sleep with you because you’re smelly of da fish, but I will sleep with you because you’re less smelly of da fish. Either way I have a headache that only sex can get rid of,” said Amo sarcastically as she sipped her beer and Pat laughed.
Pat slapped her thigh and Amo started tickling him.
“Well at least we’re agreed on nothing, which counts when you’re bluffin’. I didn’t want to say it, but I need to rubba your tit. Mua mua moo,” said Pat sarcastically and in a goofy voice as he joked with Amo and she rubbed his biceps.
This while Rosemary felt pissed off that he wasn’t her boyfriend or kidding around with her, but she laughed anyway so no one would know anything was up.
“It sounds like a dairy farm porno over there. I half-expect you to put on cow hide and ride Amo as she says, No farmer John not again it isn’t good manners, oh geez!” said Den jokingly as he sat back. Den tossed another can into the slide where Grega and Teg had taken off from. It hit the other 4 cans of Natural Light edging them closer to falling off.
Surprisingly Teg flew over and landed next to Pat as hewaved to everyone.
“Hey, My friends of righteous ends, I’m back again to make you happy, don’t call your hard of hearin’ pappy. And find me an egg ‘fore I pee on your leg, Man,” said Teg happily as Teg did a one legged dance and grinned oddly. Teg started for the clubhouse as he hoped no one would ask him about Grega.
“Hey, Teg, where’s our dear brother from a different mother Grega? Is he alright?” asked Rosemary anxiously as she looked intently at Teg and hoped nothing had happened.
This while Pat and Amo really didn’t care where he was. They secretly hoped he had fallen to his death so they could pretend to be overwrought with emotion.
“He wanted to be left alone. I knew this when he rubbed me wrong. And now he’ll find a new way home, as long as his legs can run all day long, Man. So now I say be wise be fries, be apple butter lazy, woo woo,” said Teg coyly as he danced awkwardly and everyone looked at him quizzically. This as Teg hoped they wouldn’t press him for details and everyone was taken aback. Teg hurried into the clubhouse.
“What in the fuck was that, Teg? You don’t think Grega fell to his death or something?” asked Rosemary as she squinted at Pat and Amo with her mouth agape.
Meanwhile Den felt nervous that something bad had happened.
“If something did, and dear me gravy Teg had anything to do with it, then dear old Teg will be dear old dead. I had a feeling about that kid, I had one,” said Den sternly as he stood up and glared into the clubhouse. Den thought he might have to do damage and visit violence on Teg’s person. This while Rosemary stood up and thought Den might do something stupid so she got in front of him.
“Den, calm it and calm it now! We can’t jump to conclusions. Grega might have flown to the ground and is taking the elevator or an Emosly right now,” said Rosemary calmly as she put her hands up in front of Den. He scowled at her as he thought something was amiss.
This while Amo and Pat looked around nervously and then stood up as they saw the Reseo flying towards them.
“Hey wait ah minute, there’s some giant ship heading this way,” said Amo nervously as she thought something bad was about to happen.
Pat thought maybe the Doramocs were scanning the area for convicts or Renegasts.
Renegasts are the name the Doramoc’s give to the people who they feel are subversive to Doramockind. Or they are people who’d made it known that if they were given the chance they would do horrible things to the Doramocs. What the Doramocs did to the Renegasts was to rewire their brains to have little or no real backbone. Then they put them in assembly lines constructing weapons for the very Doramocs they used to hate. Soon the Renegasts had no ill will towards them at all. They also put many of the Renegasts at different places around the country, as they looked for people who said anything about Doramockind and then they reported them. To date there are 3 and a half million of them working for the Doramocs and all content to do so.
“Maybe it’s the Doramocs looking for Renegasts? They must blanket the city periodically,” asked Pat calmly as he eyed the Reseo intently. Everyone moved back from the edge of the building.
Den worried it was possibly the police and they might find the marijuana in his pocket. He took it out of his pocket and tossed it off the side of the building.
The Reseo flew fast at everyone sending a shiver through them only to stop abruptly causing everyone to let out a sigh of relief. The retractable bridge extended out and the ship’s doors opened. There stood Hobii with a giant laser pellet machine gun and an orb of green light around his head. He started flying slowly towards everyone with his weapon raised.
“You have wronged a powerful being! Your death will be a gift compared to what else you’ll endure! Lie down on the ground and prepare for your maker’s will!” shouted Hobii fiercely as he sent out holographic rings in every direction causing everyone to be terrified except for Pat. Pat looked at Hobii and suspected something was up. This while Amo, Rosemary, and Den got down on the ground and thought they were going to die.
Hobii flew right up to Pat and aimed his machine gun at him. Pat smirked and said flatly,” I don’t believe you, Robot.”
“You will die like the bastard you are, accept your doom! Now get down on the ground!” thundered Hobii as he encapsulated he and Pat in a yellow square hologram and Pat laughed.
“If you’re going to kill me I’d rather die like a cowardly man on my own two feet! Alright you fuckin’ pile of used razors! Try and kill me if you dare!” shouted Pat as he glared at Hobii and Hobii continued to aim the machine gun at him, but he looked nervous.
“I give up, I can’t do this sort of thing. I’m sorry, Exalted Grega, I just don’t have the nerve. Please don’t melt me down!” pleaded Hobii as he lowered his weapon and started to shake and cry.
Pat smiled as he heard Grega’s name and knew it was a practical joke. Everyone else heard as well and stood up and brushed themselves off.
“I knew this was Grega,” said Pat slyly as Grega came across the bridge laughing and pointing at Pat as Amo flipped him the bird.
“I almost had ya, admit it, it was close hah?” asked Grega slyly as he laughed at Pat. Grega walked up to Pat as he nodded quickly and felt like he really needed to try and stick it to Pat in case his rouse hadn’t bothered Pat, so he laughed and pointed at Pat. Pat didn’t care because he knew all of Grega’s schemes already so he just grinned and focused on what a weird robot Hobii was.
“You didn’t get shit I knew your tinfoil robot wasn’t nothin’. And when he tried to get rough I didn’t even flinch. If anything, I got you to do that stupid jump off the side of the building. You sure looked manly as you were screamin’, somebody save me! I don’t want to die up here!” said Pat as Grega kept laughing only now it seemed forced causing Pat to laugh even harder. This as everyone stood beside Pat and laughed at Grega.
Meanwhile Amo was still thinking how pathetic he was being before he jumped. She looked at Grega’s ridiculous Ge suit and Den looked at the Reseo and thought it looked cool as he sipped his beer.
“That’s not how I saw it. You looked like you were scared stiff, Son. I can’t even believe you’re not cryin’. And the rest of you ran and jumped on the ground so fast it was like a lion had been let loose,”
said Grega snidely as he grinned and scratched his crotch. Grega’s Ge suit was riding him and everyone just shook their heads and grinned.
This while Pat thought Grega looked like a moron in his Ge suit and Pat fought back laughter.
“So, Grega, you gonna wear that suit permanently now? It really makes you look cool. I might even say the coolest in the whole scuba club,” asked Pat sarcastically as everyone but Grega laughed.
Grega shook his head and his index finger as he forced a smile.
“Maybe you should sell yourself some butt colored Speedos on Congress Street. And in that suit you’ll need a sign that reads, homeless underwater vet can you spare some change or a snorkel I’m starving out here? Somebody save me I don’t want to die up here, help me!” said Rosemary jokingly as she flailed her arms like Grega when he was plummeting.
Grega forced a smile as he wanted to punch her in the mouth as he nodded slowly, but he couldn’t stand to lose her as a friend. He had to swallow hard and look at Hobii who had a slight smile that instantly faded.
“Yeah, and I can shovel some shit for Rosemary’s manure walls in her dream house. Yeah and it’ll have a room filled with piss bottles and crack hair like you always dreamed,” said Grega sarcastically and in a stern voice as he smirked. They all knew how pathetic he was being.
“Anything’s better than your double wide trailer filled with yesterday’s cum and tomorrow’s lack of hygiene. Oh wait, that’s not a trailer it’s you in your littler Ge suit condom. Are you ready to sit at the big boy’s table with momma and daddy or do you need to go potty?” asked Rosemary sarcastically as they all laughed and she grinned.
Grega smirked at her, but secretly was even more pissed and wanted to push her off the side of the building.
“Hey, Grega, where’d you get your fancy ride? I thought you were plummeting to Earth last time we saw you?” asked Den coyly and brightly as he knew he had to calm Grega down because he looked like he was about to blow up.
This caused Amo to laugh hard to herself, as she and everyone else noticed Den’s maneuver with Pat fighting off a grin.
“What…oh yeah I got this little baby at a mid-air yard sale for the price of a used rubber and a caramel covered tooth. No seriously, all jokes aside you should see her from the inside. And I got it, ah just by a bit of luck and skill at the restaurant over there yonder,” said Grega slyly as he still wanted to push Rosemary off the side of the building, but thought he’d be over it in a little while. All this while Grega pointed to Wexor’s building and smirked.
“Is that right, what’d you have to do to get it?” asked Den as he thought Grega was being evasive and withholding because his joke wasn’t as funny as Rosemary’s.
Meanwhile everyone walked across the retractable bridge and Hobii sped up ahead of them (all to prepare their rooms).
“I just played this holographic video game and defeated this pixie by crushing it and splattering his fucking dumbass head. Oh you should have seen it, Den, because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have won anything. So after the pixie was dead and getting deader, I saw the ship fly up next to the building and I was told it was mine by a little skull. Which is funny because I had this real bitch of a waiter who when I won said, you lucky prick in a real stern voice. I didn’t care though ‘cause we’re ridin’ in style. Why don’t we take a little joyride?” asked Grega happily as he had forgotten that he was pissed.
They walked inside the Reseo and saw the two hallways and they all thought it looked cool as hell.
“Let’s do it, how fast will she run? I bet she can absolutely hum,” said Amo excitedly as she looked around and clutched Pat’s arm.
They felt very happy to be going on an adventure. Den and Rosemary were hoping there were bedrooms and bathrooms, because they just wanted to crash on the Reseo. They also wondered if he got any money with the ship.
“Yeah I bet she can smoke. Hey, Grega, are there bathrooms and bedrooms on this ship? Because I’m not up for heading all the way back to the suite. I’d rather crash here if it’s possible?” asked Den
calmly as he walked behind Grega and Hobii down the hallway. Den was about to piss himself as was Rosemary.
“The bathrooms are right here on your right in these first of 7 bedrooms. Do you need a snack before bed?” asked Hobii as he opened one of the suites on the right.
Den and Rosemary pushed Hobii out of the way and hurried into the suites.
“Thanks for the concern!” yelled Den as he darted into the 45 foot long suite that had an hourglass shaped bed up on a 4 foot platform. There were 5 steps leading up to it as well as plush white linens and purple bear shaped pillows. Iit was all in the center of the room. There is a skylight above the bed that the moon can clearly be seen through, as well as the prison colony that the Doramocs had set up there called Rackus 58 and its tower of Goom.
The tower of Goom is 175 stories high and 1 mile wide round red glowing tower. It is filled with undesirables as the Doramocs called them, but they were simply writers and filmmakers who tried to make art that went against Doramockind. One of the prisoners was Grean Beluth, a writer of note who had won the Pulitzer Prize and a Nobel Prize for his book,” Love Signals at Dusk.” The book involved a gay love affair between a Doramoc woman and a Caucasian human women and it made it seem like it could happen. What the Doramocs thought of it was that it was more than a slap in their face. Seeing as they thought homosexuality was against their religion and gays and lesbians should be killed, but they thought a genuine love affair between a human and a Doramoc was even more disgusting. They took Grean, all of his living relatives, all his friends, and every person he spoke too during his daily life and put them all in Goom tower. When they were there they tortured them all from sun up to sunset for now going on 8 years.
The rest of the suite has an almost outdoor hilly tan cashmere rug covered floor, as well as a giant holographic TV on a pedestal. There are large lavish white marble fixtures filling the bathroom. There is also a pair of tan couches facing the holographic TV that are shaped like horses standing up on 2 legs.
There is also a pair of psychedelic lamps on the right side of the room that shoot out holographic circles in every direction.
“Where the fuck is the bathroom?” asked Rosemary frantically as she looked around for it, but Den saw it on the right and ran in laughing. Rosemary pleaded,” Den, let me in there I’m gonna piss myself.
This isn’t funny, Den, c’mon?”
“Alright, fine, but you’ll have to use the shower the toilet’s mine,” said Den slyly as he opened the door and Rosemary ran in and pulled her pants down and jumped on the toilet. Den hopped in the shower as Rosemary laughed and Den said slyly,” That wasn’t very ladylike. This shower is nice though.”
Meanwhile Pat, Amo, and Grega were in the command center
They were sitting on a trio of burgundy, green, and brown beanbag recliners. They faced out a circular window that had a built in computer interface in the glass that showed dozens of controls, as well as different rooms in the Reseo and outside angles of the ship. The room has 3 levels with a large bedroom and bathroom up above where Grega and everyone were sitting that is accessible by a spiral staircase. The level below has a full weight room and a dozen fish tanks, as well as a holographic movie theater. The level Grega is on also has a small kitchen and a wall lined with escape pods and jet suits called Rumots.
Rumots can launch you into the air and you can soar for over 100 miles. They are spotted yellow and brown with anti-gravity thrusters.
“Alright, you want to see what this baby can do, watch this!” said Grega boldly as he grinned wildly and then let out a high pitched yell and hit the thrusters. The Reseo shot forward up away from the building and past Wexor’s still floating living room. He didn’t notice while Den lost his balance and pissed on himself.
Amo and Pat laughed as they worried they were encouraging Grega too much as he did aggressive things if you did.
They soared up into a lightning zone, or expressway, and started weaving in and around the Ferraris and Mercedes trucks. Grega laughed menacingly as he thought he was in total control of Amo and Pat.
Grega really laid down the speed and they started to go twice supersonic. The other cars and trucks didn’t know what to make of them. They had to veer away from the Reseo as it drew near and Grega laughed hard.
“This is insane, Grega, but what happens if we hit one of the other ships?” asked Pat anxiously as the other ships were just a blur as they raced past them.
Amo was getting nervous as she clutched Pat’s hand tightly. Grega let out a howl and veered back and forth as he knew he was scaring Amo and Pat.
“We’re gonna fuckin’ die! I can’t breathe, I feel lightheaded for fuck’s sake. Oh you might have to take the controls,” said Grega coyly as he pretended to be passing out and did a hard veer to the left. This caused ships to scatter and Amo to yell out. This while Pat was hoping he was joking but wasn’t sure if he was.
Grega steered the Reseo down and clipped a small lightning rod on the top of a building. He really loved scaring Amo and Pat.
“Grega, are you serious for God’s sake?! We don’t know how to fly this ship. We just got in it 5
minutes ago!” asked Amo nervously as she reached over and shook Grega who was pretending to be dozing off.
Pat jumped up and raced over to Grega worried now he was dying, but still in the back of his mind he thought he could be joking. The Reseo went through a massive hole in a red apartment building and then out the other side.
Pat started to shake Grega who as he did coughed and then burst out laughing. Pat and Amo gave him soft punches as each of them laughed.
Meanwhile Hobii flew in with a tray of warm brownies and ice cold chocolate milk.
“Grega, you are low rent. What kinda crap was that? You hit the lightning rod for fuck’s sake.
Weren’t you worried you could kill us?” asked Amo sternly and playfully as she grinned and Grega continued to laugh.
“No, God no this ship has a massive reinforced outer shell. Quite frankly we could smash right through half the buildings around us. And also we have the ability to go to different dimensions by using some gismo in my arsenal. So if any of these pussies around here mess with us they’ll be in deep shit Grega-style,” said Grega boldly as he flexed his muscles and chuckled loudly.
This while Pat and Amo thought he was acting a little crazy and they forced a laugh. The Reseo did a barrel roll up out of the hole in a blue building and into the Rockefeller light garden above them. It seemed like sunrise it was so bright outside the ship.
The Rockefeller light garden is an every night occurrence where one hundred and sixty five holographic animals and cartoon characters like Batman were shot up above Rockefeller Plaza. Once there they were made to do battle with one another as people from all over the city and the country looked on. It is such a vibrant show for years some people called in to police as they thought the world was coming to an end and they were genuinely scared.
“Look at how beautiful that is. Where exactly are we right now?” asked Pat as he eyed the incredible Hulk punching Goldilocks again and again. Meanwhile Elmer Fud had Batman in a headlock and Amo looked on and was truly taken aback at how massive it was. She was also amazed at the sheer number of holograms and the amazing colors.
“It’s Rockefeller Plaza and this light show is here every night of the year. Would you like a brownie, exalted Grega?” asked Hobii as he offered Grega the plate of brownies and chocolate milk.
Everyone’s eyes darted over to him as they didn’t realize he had entered the room. Grega saw the brownies and his eyes grew wide.
“Oh yeah, Hobii, I’ll be taking those off your hands. Do either of you want any?” asked Grega as he took the plate and looked at Pat and Amo and hoped they’d say no, because he wanted to eat them all.
Grega didn’t want to let on that he was only being polite.
Pat and Amo looked at the brownies and knew he wanted to eat them all. They acted like they weren’t interested by shrugging their shoulders and grimacing.
“Ya know I would like a brownie. If that’s alright?” asked Amo slowly and coyly as she reached out with her hand and waited for Grega to say yes as he hesitated for a second. Grega thought “Shit I really wanted to eat them all”
Pat and Amo both noticed the hesitation and continued to look uninterested in the brownies.
“Yeah, eat up really eat up. Hobii, why don’t you go get us another plate of these I’m starving?”
asked Grega begrudgingly as Amo took two brownies and started eating them with a smile on her face.
Pat looked at Grega with his hand out as he asked coyly for a brownie. Grega said anxiously,” Yeah, go right ahead, My Brother. There’s plenty more of the brownies from heaven on the way to our welcoming bellies.”
“Thanks, Grega, just the snacks we needed,” said Pat coyly as he grabbed two and started eating happily as they watched Superman and Puff the Magic Dragon bashing each other’s heads in with baseball bats and stabbing each other with swords. This as a plume of holographic blood filled the sky and the words,” The mighty have risen from Laramie and the saints are thankful the smell is gone,” filled the skies with the thick green letters. Pat looked at it and laughed.
“Where are Rosemary and Den, what’d they fall in the toilet?” asked Amo jokingly as she laughed and continued to eat.