After the play Gagoom and Despitch had a few glasses of wine and then made their way to the submarine. Once inside they looked out the front window and started to taxi out.
“So are we filled with the warm contentment of a night well spent in the company of friends?” asked Wexor snidely as a warm smile came across his face.
Wexor watched Despitch laughing and Gagoom smiling as he swerved the sub back and forth on purpose to get a rise out of Despitch.
“The fleet of subs are in position, Wexor, when do you want us to take them out?” asked Terponic sternly as he clapped his hands together once quickly and let out a loud sigh.
Wexor got within an inch of Gagoom and pretended to bite his nose off.
“Wait ‘til they get at least halfway home. It’s funnier that way and what I’ve always said is, if it’s funny it’s worth doin’. Let’s scorch some jerks,” said Wexor greedily as Gagoom rode his sub out into the open lake and past some giant purple roses.
“Boy it sure is beautiful out here at night. Do you think anyone could fathom a thing like this ever truly?” asked Gagoom softly as he eyed the Coulda Beast swimming up ahead of them as it chased a school of fish.
“They could try and that’s the whole point of it all. If God had to make it, then Doramockind gets to admire it. And in most cases destroy it. Who would ever want to destroy something truly beautiful?”
asked Despitch breathlessly as she watched a massive 10 foot long wide mouthed Bass swimming in circles in front of their sub. A hint of a smile came across her face as Wexor laughed hysterically.
“I would you dumb fuckers. You’re dead, you’re gonna be fish food. Table for two, Gagoom and Despitch meat pies and a side of screw your beauty, you got out-thinked!” shouted Wexor joyously as he danced all over the sub and Terponic watched happily.
“Only a person who had no appreciation for it,” replied Gagoom as he felt the wine kicking in. “A pure ugly soul could and would. And that’s the divine symphony that Gabra lets us hear it for better or worse,” said Gagoom softly as he looked out over all the glowing restaurants. There were ribbons of red light floating through the water. Gagoom felt truly happy and inspired.
“Ugly soul, me really me always me,” barked Wexor as his eyes lit up. “Are we having a moment?
Are tissues required?” asked Wexor sarcastically as he pretended to wipe Gagoom’s tears and then said snidely,” The world could end, I’d watch that pretty water a little closer, Captain Sunken Dink.”
Then out in front of Gagoom’s sub appeared a fleet of 50 of Wexor’s gold, catfish shaped empirical submarines. Each of which having 100 water piercing lights on the front and sides, as well as 2 dozen torpedoes on both sides of the subs. They also have close range machine guns that are high powered and use compressed air.
“What is that out there in front of us, Gagoom?” asked Despitch as she squinted and looked at the fleet of subs.
Gagoom sat forward and grimaced.
“I can’t tell, it might be a wedding party heading to their reception. We’d be smart to just steer clear of them as they might be drunk,” said Gagoom in a concerned voice as he steered to the right of the oncoming subs. Suddenly he felt a strong nervousness take hold of him.
“Married, who’d marry you with all that eyebrow hair hmm, Gagoom?” asked Wexor sarcastically as he danced around and threw punches through Gagoom and Despitch.
“They are so meat right now,” said Terponic sternly as he watched Wexor’s fleet swerve towards Gagoom’s sub. He held back his laughter and Terponic put his hand over his mouth and then asked sarcastically,” Did you ever get the feeling you were near death? I’d swim for it if I were you, but be sure to cover those bottoms with chum the Coulda is dyin’ for a feast!”
Then one of Wexor’s subs crashed into the side of Gagoom’s. This sent his sub flying into the underwater garden on the right uncontrollably. His sub shot through the giant roses severing them from their stems. It blocked Gagoom’s view in front of the sub.
“Jesus fucking Christ, what in the hell is that lunatic doing?! We could die down here for fuck’s sake,” said Gagoom sharply as he tried to steer out of the garden. Then Gagoom hit a patch of underwater pumpkins and he smashed through 25 of them covering the sub in pumpkin.
“Do something, Gagoom, or the hull will be breached!” said Despitch frantically as she held onto a shaken Gagoom.
Gagoom pulled up on the steering wheel and as he did another of Wexor’s subs hit him from the top.
This sent Gagoom’s sub careening into the Coulda Beast.
The sub sunk into the Coulda’s flesh and opened up a gaping wound. This caused the Coulda to shriek in agony. Violently it grabbed the sub and shook it from its side. Then it hurled it out into the lake.
This threw Gagoom and Despitch up against the walls of the sub splitting open Gagoom’s forehead and breaking Despitch’s arm.
“Boy these waters sure are dangerous this time of never. How’s that quick blow to the head treatin’
ya?” asked Wexor sarcastically in a thick southern drawl. Then he sat down beside Gagoom and glared at him with a smirk in his face.
“Are you alright, Despitch?” asked Gagoom as he picked himself up and blood gushed down his face.
“My arm, it’s broken, but we can’t dwell on it. Just get us to the surface before something worse happens,” said Despitch softly as she fought back tears and clutched her broken arm.
“You’ve got to be kidding. You really think I’ll let you slip away, oh no, no, no, goo, goo, goo,” said Wexor condescendingly as he ran and kicked through Despitch’s broken arm with his holographic leg.
“I’ll get us to safety, you just hold on,” said Gagoom boldly then he hit the thrusters and the sub rocketed upward and as it did Wexor’s fleet blasted the sides of the sub with machine guns tearing hundreds of holes in the fuselage. This sent water rushing into the inner cavity of Gagoom’s sub. One bullet in particular hit Despitch in the back and blew a 2 foot hole out through her chest. She gasped for air as Gagoom tried to steer the sub to the surface, unaware she’d been hit.
“Having trouble breathing? Too much old cheese again huh?” asked Wexor sarcastically as he knelt over Despitch and blew air at her face as she continued to gasp for air.
Gagoom got his sub beyond Wexor’s fleet and pierced the surface. He turned to Despitch and asked boldly,” We’ve made it we’re…, Despitch, what happened?” Gagoom raced to her side and propped up her head.
She spit up blood and Wexor said sarcastically,” I don’t think she’s gonna make it. I’ve seen a lot of these cases and few make it to retirement age. Maybe you should sing her a song and whisper pie recipes in her ear.”
Terponic laughed as Gagoom looked down at Despitch. Gagoom whispered,” Don’t you dare die on me, Despitch, you’re all I’ve got. Keep fighting we can make it.”
“The maker of boring romance novels and wet tissue movies owns the copyright on those lines. So try something else quick,” said Wexor sarcastically as he nodded his head rhythmically. Then he did a cocky dance and pushed out his chest.
“I’m not gonna make it, Gagoom, but you will and that’s all that matters,” said Despitch tearfully as she coughed up blood. Her eyes went still and she died in his arms. Gagoom let out a scream and shook her shoulders and the tears clouded his vision..
“Eased all over again,” said Wexor snidely as he danced around Gagoom. “What are we doing with the other subs?” asked Wexor as he looked at Gagoom then tapped Terponic on the shoulder.
“Give it a second and the real fun’ll start,” said Terponic happily as he grabbed a bottle of wine and then took a long drink and pounded his chest.
“Well I’m not dying in this fucking sub, not now!” said Gagoom boldly as he set down Despitch and then raced to the steering wheel.
Gagoom started to ride the sub at full speed across the lake towards his castle. Wexor’s fleet of subs burst onto the surface of the lake and gave chase.
“Hey, Gagoom, I hope you like crowds. Do you think you could be more terrified or less? ‘Cause you look like your fuck face is frozen across your face and it’s creepin’ me out,” said Wexor sarcastically as he danced around Gagoom and punched through his balls.
Gagoom had the look of a dying man.
“You subs had better not try anything! I’m the mayor of New York City for fuck’s sake!” said Gagoom angrily as he attempted to flee.
They had him surrounded and he smashed his broken sub into one of them, but they didn’t move and it only did more damage to his sub. Water gushed into Gagoom’s sub as Wexor and Terponic pretended to swim and shower.
Gagoom quickly looked around the sub for a way out.
“Nowhere to run to baby, Nowhere to hieeide!” sang Wexor as he jumped up in the air and did a split.
“I can’t die like this, not now! I’ll get out of here you mark my words!” shouted Gagoom then a hail of bullets were shot into the sub by Wexor’s fleet. Gagoom got riddled with bullets, as massive pieces of his flesh splattered on the walls.
He slumped over and shook violently. A moment later his life ended.
Wexor and Terponic clapped loudly and then they shouted like a Lion.
“Ok great, the deadweight is dead. I want his sub burned then sunk so as no one gets wise. Then I want a good cheeseburger and a glass of Dr. Pepper with ice as I am starving. Tell the fleet good work,”
said Wexor as he jumped up and down on Gagoom. He sprung up and ran over and kicked through Despitch’s head.
Meanwhile at the Guess Building it was early morning and everyone was in the Cornofor Lounge having a bit of breakfast.
It included Grega, Rocka, Rosemary, Pat, Den, Righter, and Amo sitting on a giant brown beanbag couch. The couch has a round mahogany table in the center of it and the couch floats above a large swimming pool of purple water. There are dozens of the same couches and tables floating throughout the Cornofor Lounge. Many people are swimming in the S shaped wave pool that has a sandy island surrounding it. There are also several slots you can drive your table into. They lead to different parts of
the hotel. They are clearly marked as they have different elevators in them. The walls in the room are covered in a red holographic inferno that gives the walls the appearance they are ablaze. They even have dozens of devils climbing up and down them and they are shouting obscenities at every person in the pool. The ceiling goes up 50 stories and has thousands of decks set up in it that are used by the permanent residents of the Guess.
“Alright look for us to pull this off it will take more than luck. I’ve got the restaurant and the street set up for the day after tomorrow. But if even one Doramoc sees us chopping one of theirs to pieces, there will be a frenzy of them descending on us that you wouldn’t believe,” said Righter boldly as he held a fork of chicken alfredo pasta in his hand as he spoke. Everyone listened intently and continued to eat.
Righter is 6’1” and weighs 226 pounds. He has braided squares in his long dark red wavy hair, as well as a triangular cap on the front of his head that is solid gold. The cap also has tiny Egyptian statues at the base of it. He has dark turquoise eyes that look intense. He has a round bulbous nose that has a large bump in the center (he got the bump from an apparent bar fight years earlier where he had been hit at pointblank range by a barstool).
He also has hands so large he holds coffee mugs with his pinky. You literally can’t tell he is holding anything at all. He has on a burgundy cashmere sweater and tan Gucci dress pants. As well as Demano dress shoes that have the phrase,” When lemons aren’t enough, drink freshly squeezed life and make true joy,” written along the sides of the leather soles.
“That’s true, but we can quarry off the lot of them with ease? As you can see the crowd on the street is all of us with eyes up, if you know what I mean. Then when a Doramoc nears the killzone, all’s we have to do is annoy them. And then they’ll go a different direction or even down a different street. I wouldn’t worry about it, Righter, we’re fine,” said Grega firmly as he sat back and put his arms behind his head. Grega smiled with satisfaction.
“You’re right, but what annoys a Doramoc enough to get them to change course?” asked Rosemary as she looked down at a pair of hunky men sitting poolside. She smiled and waved at them.
“Smells, nothing bothers a Doramoc man or woman more than flatulence or B.O.,” explained Den as he lit up a cigarette. “If they catch wind, of wind, they’ll instantly turn and go the other direction with a scowl on their faces. I once ripped a silent but unbelievably deadly in a movie theater. And no less than a dozen Doramocs got up and left cursing a blue moon. You want ‘em to run, let her rip,” said Den slyly as he flexed his right bicep and everyone was laughing. Den smiled like a hungry lion.
“I was there, I went smell deaf for 3 weeks from that nearly o-ring blowing thunderclap of Den’s asscheeks,” joked Rosemary a she pretended to be choking. “He neglected to mention it was a tender moment in the film. Where the lead character was just told I love you by her blind beau. Odd how many people were not amused as Den and I laughed hysterically,” said Rosemary happily as they all laughed and Den made the face of a cornered clown.
“It lacked tact that fart, but it made up for it in volume and texture. And I seem to remember Rosemary letting one rise asunder, a few minutes later in the crushing death scene of said-would be lovers. Don’t try and deny it,” said Den slyly as he pointed to Rosemary.
Rosemary shook her head and smiled.
“So as you can see, we can pull this off and do it with minimal risk. Righter, do you still want us to be there for moral and righteous support?” asked Grega calmly as a flint of a mischievous smile came across his face.
“Well, it’s more than want, I need as many people who know what’s happening there as I can possibly get. So yes I would be honored if you came,” said Righter sincerely as he gave everyone a nod and then they gave various looks of agreement.
“That’s what my last girlfriend said after only 4 hours of sex. Who knew there was a time limit on such a thing,” said Den jokingly and then he threw up his hands and grinned.
“I’d want it in writing if you were on top of me. Geez laweez I thought sitting next to you for 10
minutes was hard,” said Rosemary jokingly as she smiled and Den made a stern face.
“We’ll be there, it’s at the Sat and Ate restaurant on Wednesday,” said Pat implying a question as he sat forward and grabbed a baked roll and tore it in half.
“That’s correct- just meet us at the service entrance to the restaurant in the alleyway. And we’ll figure out how to use you,” said Rocka sternly as she gave Den a look and he squinted back at her.
“Alright then, I’ve got some preparations to do so I’ll have to leave you now. Rocka, are you comin’
with me?” asked Righter as he steered the couch and table towards the slot for the lobby elevator. He used the built in steering wheel and anti-gravity thrusters to navigate.
“Yeah, you’ll need my expertise before too long. What are the rest of you gonna do for 2 days?”
asked Rocka as the couch flew up into a slot on the right that led to a small lounge next to 3 turbo elevators.
The lounge has a large brass bed set up on the right that is perfectly round. It has silk bedding and white pillows. Behind it is a painting of Busr B. Haimaq.
Busr B. Haimaq is the last of the American rockstars and movie actors to have earned enough money not to have to work a second job, as the industry had all but dried up and blown away. Busr found a way to make movies with top grade special effects and albums for very little money and turn a profit. His last 36 feature films brought in over 5 million dollars combined. After the fall of all the major movie studios there was still a demand for good movies. The profit margin unfortunately made it impossible to turn a buck. Enterprising artists used techniques like homemade green screens and family owned locations to create top notch movies. Busr was one of the first and most successful. He made a string of action movies
called,” Dawnlight,” that starred him as a messiah ex-army general. The general’s soul ambition is to reclaim the world from the Doramocs and anoint himself as the new ruler and sexual leader. Every film has at least one scene where Busr says his now famous lines,” If I’m warm to you, then the world’s on fire and only I’ve got the means to squelch it. Now get me my legions of air.”
“I’d thought we’d dig a deep hole and tell Grega there’s gold in it. Then bury him when his dumb ass jumps in,” said Rosemary sarcastically in a happy voice as she smiled at Grega.
Grega shrugged his shoulders and they all had a laugh.
“I didn’t appreciate that the last time, you Shithead! I was only nine!” said Grega sarcastically in a stern voice as he slammed his fist on the table.
“You were eight and it was the hole or the sewer! I can’t help it if you thought I’d buried a chest of gold and apple pies!” shouted back Rosemary sarcastically.
Grega looked at her wide eyed and his mouth agape as everyone laughed.
“Those pies were my retirement fund and that gold would have gotten me new underwear! I’ll never forgive you, unless there’s another chest somewhere you haven’t told me about!” said Grega loudly and sarcastically like a little kid.
He spoke vacuously and stomped his foot and grimaced.
Rosemary rubbed his back and blew in his ear as everyone was in hysterics.
“Its ok, you’re dumb, you can’t help it. Reading is not for everyone hole digging is,” said Rosemary softly and sarcastically as she nodded.
Grega tried not to laugh and then Rosemary cracked.
“Hey why don’t we go and see the Yankees play for 5 innings? And then go on a shopping spree?
Seein’ as we’re all loaded with cash flow,” asked Den as he and everyone climbed out of the floating couch and walked up to the turbo elevators.
“Sounds like the better part of a great plan to me. What do you say, Grega, and you ,Rosemary?” Pat asked as he inspected the elevators and saw the words,” I’d beg for it, but it’s not enough. Instead I’ll steal the energy to plead for it,” and he grimaced at the writing on the wall between the elevators.
“I’m up for it, let’s make sure we make it known who we’re rooting for too,” said Grega as he adjusted his pants. “God I hate the fucking Spankees,” said Grega firmly as he waited for the elevator doors to open. Grega looked at Rocka and Righter who were smiling and he asked,” What’s so funny?”
“We have to go,” said Righter warmly as he extended his hand and Grega shook it. Then he shook Rocka’s hand and pressed a dark green button. All 3 elevator doors opened and he smiled.
“Oh, wise man is it, go find me a manger,” said Den slyly as he grinned at Righter who laughed and shook everyone’s hands.
“I knew you’d figure it out. The Manger’s on the 3rd floor past the men in wool robes,” said Righter slyly as he stepped into the elevator on the left with Rocka. Rocka waved to everyone and smiled.
“I knew it, how embarrassing,” said Den slyly as he stepped into the elevator with everyone else.
They pressed the button for the ground floor and rocketed to the bottom. The doors slid open and they could see a 5 level living room slash lobby. It had 2 dozen couches in and around a fake mountain cave setting. The mountain itself is lush and green and it has several statues of Sudin Goon in and around it. Showing her naked and holding a book in both hands.
Sudin Goon was a female civil rights activist who protested against the Doramocs 77 years prior. She did this until a bloody showdown outside an art gallery in the SOHO region of New York left her dead.
Sudin showed up to her showing of cartoon art stills wearing nothing and carrying a copy of her two books,” The truth about Liars-a book about how easily an army of brutes can be toppled by a single intellectual’s call to action. And her novel,” Don’t laugh at me, I was Joking-and it is about a red haired woman of thirty, who assassinates the Doramoc emperor with a dagger disguised as a pen. Then a dozen Doramoc men showed up at her art gallery and started destroying all her stills. Sudin pulled out a dagger disguised as a pen, and buried it in one Doramoc man’s neck. Then her friends started pulling out handguns, but as they did the Doramocs viciously started beating them to death. They only got off a few rounds at the Doramocs before they were all dead including Sudin, who had her neck snapped sideways.
“I thought he said the manger was on the 3rd floor,” said Amo sarcastically as they walked into the lobby. She saw the mountain and everyone paused for a second then laughed heartily.
“I knew he was lying, I could tell ‘cause he was talkin’,” said Grega sarcastically as they walked up a ramp. Then they went through a tunnel in the mountain that had the words,” Feet to the street,” above it and everyone continued laughing.
They emerged on Wall Street and saw a bustling city stretched out before them. There were thousands of luxury cars all over the street that included Porsche’s and Mercedes, as well as Chevy and Ford trucks flying in and around the newly designed city.
The buildings all have round tunnels through them for cars, trucks, and transport vehicles, as well as sidewalks that make them look like Swiss cheese. There are Lion and Alligator shaped skyscrapers set side by side that even have fur on them, as well as scales for the alligator building that is used by Macy’s for their headquarters. There are also rotating nightclubs that swing in and through other buildings, as the people inside felt nothing because of the artificial gravity. There is a floating golf course in and around the skyline and it has wind dampeners surrounding each hole. That way you wouldn’t get blown off the side. They also have a wall of lose particles that when your ball hits them it bounces back towards the fairway. There are dozens of holographic billboards floating out in front of storefronts. For instance, the
one for McDonalds that has the words,” Arteries are for clogging and we’re only here to help-as well as one for Jellybean Heaven that has the glowing red words,” Diets don’t work, give your waistline the extra room it’s been asking for.” There is also a river on one side of the street that has been put there for water sports. And it has several water-skiers and jet-skiers racing down Wall Street.
“Alright, this street is so fucking ridiculous it’s making my head spin,” said Rosemary happily as they stood on the moving sidewalk and rode down Wall Street.
“That’s just the devil living in your spine causing that. I meant to warn you, but my demons wouldn’t let me,” said Den sarcastically as they rode along. They laughed as people flew past them in the other direction on a similar sidewalk.
“Are those the same demons you claimed poll danced for you naked while you watched a Seinfeld marathon?” asked Grega jokingly as he walked over to Amo and slapped her butt.
“Those demons.!” shrieked Den as he spun sideways. “Don’t say it too loud or I’ll never get my security deposit back from them upon our return to Poorland. Or the land of many moms as I like to call it,” said Den jokingly as he grinned at Grega.
Grega was laughing at Den who was laughing with Amo.
“Why do you call it that, is it biblical?” asked Amo happily then she kissed Grega’s cheek.
Grega smiled back at her.
“Sort of in a not really at all kind of way,” joked Den. “No, the real reason, and this has been verified by National Geographic, is that 90 percent of all the single woman in Portland are pregnant or already have a kid. And the rest are all gay. So you pregnant yet, Rosemary?” asked Den jokingly as everyone was laughing.
Rosemary gave Den a hard shove and smile.
“No, but my girlfriend says hi and thanks for shaving your mole,” said Rosemary sarcastically as she watched a street performer punch himself in the face. They rode up into a tunnel through the Ioran Building. It is shaped like a Wooly Mammoth and is named after religious writer and Prophet Betsa Goodtime.
Betsa Goodtime is an underground Jewish priestess, who many still believe Betsa to be the new messiah and sister to Jesus. She was found in a busy subway terminal as a newborn baby 19 years ago.
She was perched precariously on top of a moving subway train. Many saw her speed past them and believed it a miracle she survived. Then in her 13th year she was accidentally served a plate of pasta that a large quantity of arsenic had spilled on. She ate it and had only a mild case of gas to which it was deemed her second miracle. Then in her 18th year she wrote the now widely accepted preeminent religious book called,” Perfect Imperfections.” It included the passage,” If it comes to a dying woman’s last words, before a sensitive being can be appreciated, then we killed her ourselves however God’s taken her. And when we laugh at their passing when no one is thought to have heard, a thunderous wave of sound is echoing from one edge of civilization to the leaf’s edge in the center of the uninhabited wastelands of the jungle. It screams out your sins and visits them on each and every one of us. No…no we are caring to a fault, or all our faults become shared and destruction fills every cell in our bodies with black.”
She also wrote, “The Ultimate Commandment,” as it was called and went as such,” One hundred deaths a day until no child is forced to relive their parents lives against their natural wishes, or in spite of their true passions. If so we’ll go through a universal death for us all in a world without laughter for a billion years. Then God finally answers every wish and command, but no one gets to know anything of it or feels the joy it involved.”
“Yeah thanks, Den, that scraggly hair was in danger of poking an eye out,” said Grega sarcastically as he looked up and saw a verse from Betsa that read,” Tense weeks of inspiration led only a few to lifetimes of satisfaction. But they instead brought the rhythm of God’s thoughts to us all. That’s why
perspiration is the coffee in the cup, of an eager mass of joyous dancers flying through the walls of contempt.”
“Yeah Jesus, Den, I almost choked on it at breakfast,” said Amo sarcastically in a stern voice as everyone laughed.
Den looked at her with a grin like a cheetah on his face.
“Amo, I had high hopes for your brain surgery recovery, but alas it was a failure. Now dig me a hole you bubble butt derelict,” said Den sarcastically as everyone passed through the last portion of the Ioran building. Then it was out into a garden video arcade that had games like,” Spinning through the Viscous.”
There it was in the pattern of a daisy with over 3,000 games all told.
Spinning through the Viscous is a multi-player game that hundreds of thousands of players can play all at once all over the world. It involves a central character named Yeapu Viscous and this massive riddle he has hidden pieces of it all over the holographic universe of Laothos. As you find these pieces new levels of Yeapu’s teachings are revealed. Soon you are allowed amazing gifts of wealth and new realms you can share with similar players. Those players have to have found the same pieces to enter. There are also bits of his knowledge like,” When times are the most chaotic find a smile from years long ago and know the true symphony God intended,” scattered throughout Laothos. There are also other bits of game knowledge that can also be applied to life like the adage,” Why run through walls made of glass, let your dreams shatter them,” that are on many of the walls.
You can also enlist spies to steal parts of the riddle from other players and help you find secret passageways to the Goab Realm, which is a little known about place in the game hidden behind a statue, that you could go in and choose real items like cars and leather jackets and they would be sent to your actual home. The end of the game has very little known about it, but it is rumored you could win a powerful seat in the Doramoc hierarchy as well as other prizes like large monetary gifts. Unfortunately if you told anyone how to get there you forfeited all winnings.
“I had low hopes for you, Den, and you achieved them,” said Amo sarcastically as she made a silly face.
Den laughed and shook his finger at her.
“Hey they have Spinning through the Viscous, let’s play for a couple of minutes,” said Rosemary excitedly then she ran over to the game followed by everyone else.
“I love that game, it’s so mysterious,” said Amo as they walked up to the Porsche shaped game. It had a pair of tan leather couches inside and a wall of holographic players. You could choose one or play as yourself by simply standing in front of an imaging screen.
“I don’t love it, bitch cheated on me. I only play, Mario Brothers death and sheer vengeance these days. That said, I wanna play first,” said Grega excitedly as he stood in front of the imager. His holographic self appeared in the 3D game screen in front of the Porsche portion.
Mario Bros Death and Sheer Vengeance is the latest installment of the franchise. Where a now evil Mario and Luigi have started an organized crime family and have taken over Chicago. They use an iron fist as they take over the whiskey and gambling business. Mario becomes the governor of Illinois. You take Mario through a series of massive gun battles with the local police, as you fight to maintain your empire.
“Hey I want some of that action too. And I do mean holographic Pat action,” said Pat slyly as he moved in front of the imager as did everyone except for Rosemary.
Rosemary used a jagged and red 15 foot robot avatar. She started the foot race at the beginning that every payer has to do (the first one out of the maze gets a dozen new weapons to use).
Everyone lined up at the starting line of the game on a treadmill. They waited for the starting blue and green Goblin to explode and then they could start running.
“Alright look you fuckers, I’m the fastest there is just accept your total destruction in this race and make your peace with the almighty! As I’m about to really break some serious wind. And I mean nugget filled wind,” said Den slyly in a stern voice, as everyone jockeyed for position.
All 5 of them stood there on the treadmill and laughed.
Then the Goblin hologram in front of them burst into a million phrases like,” I was the inkless pen’s friend,” as well as,” Where are the annoying best friends?” The phrases danced around in front of everyone as they started to run for it.
“You can’t catch me! I’m jet inspired and rocket birthed pure speed!” said Rosemary enthusiastically as she ran at full speed. She took an early lead through a large orange tunnel that went up and through a series of waterfalls. The waterfalls slowed each player more depending on where you ran through them.
With Pat in second as he ran and jumped through a red waterfall and emerged on the other side of a bridge made of human bones. Grega, Amo, and Den were just behind him.
“Rosemary, slow down it’s not a race or anything,” said Den sarcastically as he ran full out.
“I will when I win,” said Rosemary boldly as she jumped a small cat. She sprinted up through a series of statues and she knocked their heads off with her hands. The other racers had to quickly jump over them.
“Oh look who’s playing dirty. And I haven’t showered yet,” said Grega jokingly as he jumped over 3
of the heads and did a cocky laugh.
“Me either! Can someone pass me the soap and, Rosemary, just let me pass,” said Den sarcastically as he playfully elbowed Rosemary in the ribs.
Rosemary giggled and elbowed him back.
“Yeah, Rosemary, you’re being greedy with victory. Let an old chum have it for a while, I want to pet it,” said Pat jokingly as his player ran up a steep ladder. Pat ran into a room filled with pink bubbles that had Goblins inside. He popped them with his fingernails and looked around in amazement.
Rosemary had already popped her way through much of the room, but the Goblins latched onto her arms and legs and were slowing her down considerably.
“Get these jerkwads off of me already!” yelled Rosemary as she ran and shook her arms.
Amo and Grega were about to pass her when she tried to fling the Goblins at them. They ducked and ran past her popping bubbles as they did.
“Nice try, Rosemary, but we’ve got too many skills to be tricked ha, ha,” said Grega happily as he ran through a vortex and shot out the other side the winner. He yelled,” It’s lonely at the top, ‘cause you can only fit one set of shoes on the pedestal!”
Then everyone’s avatars got thrust high into the air and the Avatars landed in the middle of an island of robot statues and half destroyed skyscrapers. All around them there was lush green grass, trees, and purple bushes growing everywhere.
“You lucky prick, I outta laugh as they put you to rest for that trick,” said Rosemary dejectedly as she shook her head and then let out a loud cough.
“If you do my dead body will resurrect and kill your ass. Huh you little bitch,” said Grega sarcastically as he grinned and motioned with his arms like he was swimming.
Rosemary looked at him perplexed and Amo and Pat laughed.
“If you try I’ll beg God to reincarnate you as a seat cushion in a men’s restroom. Don’t think I won’t either, I can do damage to your bad name,” said Rosemary sarcastically as she put Grega in a headlock.
“Wait a minute you two, look at the weapons Grega just got and this wacked out island. I’ve never seen this place before,” said Den as he walked in and around a large trio of black robots and a purple breeze shot past him.
There were a pair of skin exploding rocket grenades and a pair of laser sunglasses now on his avatar.
He also had a laser whip that danced in ovals in front of him.
“Where in the fuck is this? Did you enter some weird code or something, Grega?” asked Rosemary in disbelief as she walked through a grid of birds that started to sing the words,” You have found what is great! Don’t worry or fret you’re the only one yet!!!”
“No I have no idea how we got here, but I like it. Wouldn’t it be funny if there’s some rewards chamber in here with a million bucks in it,” said Grega happily as he walked past a floating doorway and then said wryly,” Hey look a doorway to Pat’s house, I mean nowhere.”
Then Grega grabbed the door handle and twisted it and as it opened it fell onto the grass in front of him. Suddenly a stairwell went into the ground in front of them. A second later a symphony was playing a thunderous song as everyone hurried over to Grega.
“Well now things are getting cool. Quick, Pat, run down the stairs and get killed so we don’t have too,” said Amo sarcastically t as she laughed greedily and Pat smiled back at her.
“No way, it’s your hole, Grega, that makes it your dyin’ to do,” said Pat sternly as he walked up to the edge of the stairs.
Everyone else stood there looking down at the blackness at the bottom.
“Well, let’s have a bit of fun then,” said Grega happily then he started down the stairs followed by everyone.
And as he touched each step a wave of sound shot up at them and said things like,” Children are too childish, grow up already,” as well as,” Turn the pain in sullen refrains into mountains of joyous love, and know the truth about what it is to be alive.” As they neared the bottom of the steps the steps flattened out and everyone slid down 100 feet into a large dance hall. There before them were hundreds of white and black ghostly figures that looked like elderly Doramocs, floating a few feet above a black marble floor.
There were horses running across the room over the heads of the dancers and into an adjoining lake of money and gold, silver, and diamond studded coins.
The lake seemed to go on forever with a red sun buried 50 feet beneath the money that shined upward. Everyone stood up and looked around and heard the voice of Yeapu say,” If you’ve been wise to find my party room, then you’ve earned the gift that comes with it. Wade out into my lake of riches and find the account number for your new bank account at Bank of America, it’s a massive sum. You’ve also earned the right to use my luxury apartment overlooking Central Park, just call 818-9815 and all will be taken care of.”
“Are you kidding me, we play some stupid game on a lark and we’re rich because of it,” said Den in disbelief as he looked at everyone wide eyed and then cackled.
“That’s true, but how rich and how nice is this pad? Because there are many you’d rather be homeless apartments in this city, that aren’t worth our time,” said Rosemary as she walked past the ghosts and a smile crept across her face.
“Let’s find out, we need to see where the lake is first,” said Grega happily as he followed Rosemary’s avatar out onto the dance floor and he pumped his fist.
“I already found it, look over here,” said Rosemary enthusiastically as she motioned with her hands like a conductor.
“Whoa, that’s a lot of greenbacks, but wouldn’t it be funny if the prize was only a couple hundred bucks,” said Pat as he followed everyone out into the lake.
“Hey that’s a Happy Meal and a twelve pack don’t knock it. Then there’s the loose change from said purchases, that adds up over time,” said Den sarcastically as he danced out into the lake and had money up to his chest. A massive wave of joy came over them all and they were laughing.
“I’ll purchase you. Let’s drown, Den, in the money!” said Rosemary sarcastically as she grabbed Den and tried to pull him down by the waist with both hands.
Pat joined in and Grega and Amo did as well.
“Oh mother Murphy I need’s your guidance in my hour of wrestling. Please save ole Den,” said Den jokingly as the 3 of them wrestled playfully and as they did Grega could see a green crown floating on a wad of wet money. He reached over and grabbed it.
The crown shot up onto his head and a voice was then heard to say,” Account number PHO8NY.
Your money in the amount of 275 million dollars is ready and awaiting you and yours. I only ask one thing of you as you leave the drudgery of being a part of the workforce behind. Never tell anyone where you got this money who doesn’t know right now, because if you do the repercussions will be dire. Leave worry where liars bury their cares, in lies.”
“Did you hear that? We are rich and never have to work again!” shouted Grega as he jumped up and did a 360 spin.
“Well in that case let’s stop playing video games and go and celebrate,” said Amo warmly then she stuck out her tongue and Grega gave her a long kiss.
“Yeah, Grega, let’s do a bit of city painting and I do mean red,” said Den slyly as he looked at Grega who rubbed his own chest.
“Hey I’m all for it, but only if Rosemary shaves her chest hair. They won’t let us in most places if she doesn’t,” said Grega sarcastically causing everyone to laugh.
Rosemary started gently slapping his arm and Grega winced in fake pain.
“I can’t shave it without a sandblaster. You knew that already,” said Rosemary sarcastically as she rubbed her chest hard. And then Rosemary shook her head no as everyone chuckled.
“Hey what about the game?” asked Den as he swam n his back with wads of money in his hands. “I thought we had made a good plan,” asked Den as he eyed everyone sternly and they looked surprised.
“Yeah, Grega, what if we go check on the money first to make sure it’s there. Then, go to the game and see the apartment after,” said Pat as he implied a question and climbed out of the Spinning through the Viscous game and stretched his arms.
“Good point, but if we’re going to the game I say we get the best seats they’ve got. No more of this nickel and dime shit. I want every luxury known to man and we’ve earned it, all of us,” said Grega enthusiastically as he gave everyone a wink and they winked back.
“Fuckin’ right, let’s hit it,” said Amo as she slapped Grega’s butt.
Grega then grabbed hers and tried to contain his glee.
They walked over to the moving sidewalk and then they started looking for a Bank of America branch. They luckily saw one up the street in a plaza. They made their way to the bank as fast as they could. Grega went in and walked up to the teller named Borna Gain, as everyone followed closely behind.
Borna Gain has short curly black hair that is tied into a ponytail in the center. She is 5’1” and is very curvy. She has hazel eyes that look right through you and a short upturned nose, as well as thick lips. She is sexy to look at, but doesn’t seem to know it. She has on a black pair of silk pants and a white lacy short sleeved shirt, as well as red leather heels.
“Hello there, Sir, is there anything I can make you happy with?” Borna asked in a sultry voice as she eyed Grega.
He grinned back as she caught him off guard.
“Ah, yeah lots of things, but actually I just wanted to check my balance on my account and take out a little money. It’s PHO8NY and, yeah that’s it,” said Grega as he blushed.
Borna looked at him like she was about to have sex with him while Amo glared at Grega.
“I’ll take care of it and you just wait there hard and strong,” said Borna in a sultry voice as she started typing in Grega’s account number. Almost instantly, it read on the computer screen in front of Grega that the balance showed 275 million dollars and one cent. Grega nearly fainted as everyone looked at the number in shock.
“Yeah, I’m gonna take out 100 thousand dollars. And I’ll need it in hundred dollar bills and in a tan leather sack, alright?” asked Grega warmly as he tried not to look at Borna who was staring right at his crotch.
Grega didn’t want to get a boner.
“You want the BIG bills, I had a feelin’? Just give momma a moment to find that smooth hard leather sack,” said Borna in a sultry voice as she touched her neck and top of her breasts. She let out a sigh that was almost orgasmic.
Everyone looked at each other and tried not to laugh.
“You sure are a passionate woman. Do those clothes come off easily?” asked Den slyly as he looked at Borna and she winked back at him.
Borna started counting out the money and she put each stack of ten thousand dollars in a leather sack. She looked at Grega and her forehead started to sweat.
Amo elbowed Grega in the ribs.
“Here’s your large bulging fortune in your smooth sack. I hope this comes in handy,” said Borna slowly as she handed Grega the sack.
He smiled at her, nodded and then was about to leave but stopped quickly.
“If I were in prison, you’re just the type of gal I’d drop the soap for. I don’t go around and say that to anyone ya know,” said Grega sarcastically then he held up the leather sack. Everyone laughed as Borna waved to him.
“Alright that was good and awkward. I say we terrorize some Yankee fans to cleanse our pallets,”
said Amo as they all walked out of the bank and onto the moving sidewalk.
“My pallet needs a six pack and some nachos with cheese, or I’m just gonna start shooting people,”
said Den sarcastically as he pretended to pull out a gun. He got perplexed looks from everyone.
Suddenly a runaway BMW came plummeting out of the sky. It shot past Den’s ear and proceeded to take out 25 people on the sidewalk. Their bodies shot up in the air and into several building’s walls. Then the BMW shot across the street and it crashed headlong into a young woman’s apartment, she was named Henny Suo. Then it shot through her living room and right over her as she lay on the couch. The BMW
smashed through several walls destroying everything in its path. It came to rest only inches from an old man named Moogo Face, as he sat in his bathtub and casually soaked. He looked at the BMW with his eyes bugging out of his head and then his shower cap fell off and Moogo said breathlessly,” This city’s tried to kill me for the last time. I’m moving to Caribou Maine pronto.”
“Is everyone alright?” asked Amo as she looked and saw the 20 dead bodies. Then Amo saw the other 5 who were badly wounded. She felt an uncontrollable fear and started to sob and shake.
One of the wounded named Jodo Fitt started shouting,” You won’t take me alive!” And he pulled out a Magnum 57 handgun and randomly started shooting people in every direction. He put 2 bullet holes in a raven haired man of 27 years named Jefray Loved. Jeffrey had a backpack filled with fireworks that got hit by the bullets and exploded. This sent streams of green and blue light shooting in every direction like machine gun fire.
Grega grabbed hold of Amo and helped Den up. They quickly darted up the street into a restaurant called Time is a Myth with Pat and Rosemary quick behind.
Inside there are 3 rows of rectangular maple tables with only seats at either head of the table. There are also several floating Boar’s heads all throughout the room. The Boar’s heads have snacks and condiments inside. There are lounges built into each of the walls that have large couches and holographic movie theaters. The walls of the restaurant have sayings like,” The sounds of progress also start with the screams of the helpless,” as well as the saying,” Touch a child’s hope and know you’ve got a place to hide your memories.”
“Jesus Fucking Horatio Christ, did that just happen?” asked Rosemary nervously as everyone ran to the back of the restaurant.
“It still is. We’ve got to find the backdoor to this place and fast!” said Grega boldly as they all ran half bent over as they heard shots out in the street.
Jodo was picking people off one by one as he shouted,” Another pound of flesh for the church of good tidings! Another day of reckoning for the children of lost belief in god!” He took aim on a blind man named Mella who was sitting in a chair with a sign that read,” A little help is fine, but I can’t tell the difference. So feed a creature of God for a day and it’ll feed your soul forever.” He aimed at the Mella and shouted,” You should’ve seen this coming!”
Then shot him in the chest. Luckily an off duty police officer named Ed Anderson ran through an alleyway and got behind Jodo. He shot off 8 rounds hitting him square in the back. The shots were hollow point and created massive exit wounds killing Jodo, but not before a young white man named Petoo pulled a knife. Petoo ran up and buried it in Ed’s ribs. Ed swung around and shot the man pointblank in the face sending his brains flying up in the air.
“There’s no way out, Grega! What in the hell do we do now!?” asked Pat frantically as they came to the back of the restaurant. They saw the exit was cemented over.
“I think we can get out through the basement. We just need to find the stairs,” said Grega sternly as he looked around. Grega saw a silver cushioned chair that was affixed to the floor. He realized something was amiss and ran over to it and pulled it up.
Underneath it there sat a spiral staircase that went deep into the ground and was lit by candles.
“Looks risky, Grega,” said Den nervously as he looked down the stairs and then at Grega.
“It’s this or we’re dead, let’s go,” barked Grega as he started down the stairs followed by everyone.
“The dead part got me,” said Den wryly as he hurried down the stairs. Den glanced back up at the silver chair sliding back into place and felt a shiver go down his spine.
The stairs ended at the edge of a large river. It had purple 3 inch thick tightly mowed grass on either side of it. The grass was like a rug and the river also had several covered bridges from one side to the other, each bridge was white in color with blue circles all over them that have Pado Stroll’s face inside them.
Pado Stroll’s is the financier of the human organization called The Slam. What the Slam does is pick and choose well orchestrated pranks on high level Doramocs so as to keep them perpetually agitated. This allows Pado to propose enjoyable trips and vacations to them, when he knows they’re extremely annoyed.
This allows him to manipulate them into changing laws that would be beneficial to his casinos and massage parlors. Pado was once heard to say of Doramocs,” They have a terror inside them that they can only passively hide. That’s where the fun comes in, because I need to be where they’re hiding.”
There are dozens of black leather chairs set up on either side of the river and also there are dozens of statues of Goblins in and around the chairs. The statues hold various types of beer inside them chilled perfectly. The walls in the room have hundreds of flags from all over the world. There is a large mural of a small girl being chased by an enormous raccoon with the words,” Pets sometimes pet back,” written beneath the young blonde haired girl.
“Is this progress?” asked Rosemary nervously as they walked out onto the grass and looked around.
“Let’s hope so, we need to see where this river goes,” said Grega boldly as he scanned the room for a way out. Grega saw a doorway 100 yards down on the other side of the river and said happily,” That looks like something up there.”
They started to walk briskly towards one of the bridges. Den could see inside one of the statues through a glass window that it was filled with Natural Light cans.
“Hey motherfuckers, slow up, we got Naty light in large quantities,” said Den slyly as he pressed in a red button on the statue and out of its head came an ice cold can of Natural Light, as everyone looked at him perplexed.
“Ah, I’m with him, fuck this tragedy shit,” said Rosemary wryly as she walked back over to where Den was just opening his beer.
“She has herself a point, and I do mean valid,” said Pat as he ran over to get a beer. Amo followed him over and Grega looked at them with his mouth agape and his hand raised like a little kid.
“Ya know this dyin’ stuff’s overrated. Crack me a Naty,” said Grega slyly as he smiled and walked towards the statue. Rosemary tossed him a beer and giggled.
Then everyone started drinking and Pat pointed to a set of 5 chairs and asked,” Hey who wants to grab a seat for a minute?”
“I’m all for it, but we should load up on beers for the whole 35 yard trek to heaven,” said Amo only half jokingly as she proceeded to grab an arm full of beers, as did everyone else.
“Those types of treks are nothing to scoff at. I once had a pair of tiger cubs attack me, as I stumbled into the kitchen after hitting the bong a bit too hard. Oh it still haunts me to this day,” said Den sarcastically then everyone grabbed a seat.
As they did a holographic TV set rose out of the river and the movie,” We Were Right About Hue”
started playing. The movie is set in the middle of the Oklahoma cattle war of 2031. It involved a pair of rival cattle ranchers who decided to have a bloody gun war to decide who would get all their land and cattle. The 2 families were fed up with Doramoc rule and couldn’t stand battling each other anymore.
They wanted either of them to have enough money to go to Bermuda and have a fresh start, while the loser would perish in the war. The movie starred Shiloh Pitt as the daughter of the winning rancher.
“You being haunted, haunts me too,” replied Rosemary as she spoke in between drinks. “I didn’t want to admit it, so I’m admitting it. Only raindrops have had a steeper fall or wetter life than you, Dear Den,” said Rosemary sarcastically in a thick southern accent. She grimaced at Den who burst out laughing.
“I knew you knew me, because we’d met before when we were strangers. And now I see you with my eyes that have sight, and it’s the greatest vision that hindsight I see 20-20. I mean that, Rosemary, love is a thing lover’s feel,” said Den sarcastically as he continued to down beers.
“I smell your dumb words and lost thoughts of smart. And I know we both are geniuses. But now I stare at your man bulge and wonder-what hides in there and is it worth rabies shots and physical therapy?
And I say hey, hey, Dear Den, we were star-crossed lovers of Naty. And that is where lint tastes like squirrel shit,” said Rosemary sarcastically as everyone laughed and Den acted like he was swooning at her every word.
“Did anybody eat less than 2 quarts of glue in grade school, or are we all complete morons?” asked Pat jokingly as he smiled at everyone and then asked brightly,” Am I the only one who noticed there’s a movie coming out of the river?”
There in the movie it showed a bloody shotgun standoff as each of the cattle ranchers were riding at one another on the backs of Chevy trucks through a grassy glade of trees. They fired shot after shot into each other’s trucks. Then one of them got hit in the chest and a plume of blood went flying up in the air.
“This movie is outrageous, contagious, and utterly repulsive to every eye that meets it!” said Den sarcastically as he shook his hand above his head and then said calmly,” And I’ve seen it eight times so don’t ask me the ending or I’ll tell you.”
Then in the movie a hail of gunfire left all of the cattle ranchers dead or dying. A thick smoke engulfed them all and Amo looked intently at the film and then frowned.
“Ah, is that it are they all corpses now? Because if they are then this movie is awesome!” said Amo brightly as she watched the last of the cattle ranchers climb out of the truck and shout,” Too much is not enough for me!”