Transformation Tool #5
Rewriting the Fear
You can also take the previous technique one step further by actually "rewriting" your fears into something much more positive. Remember that fear is your body‘s natural response to what you believe is a threatening situation. On the other hand, if you can choose to believe that there is nothing to fear, your body will have no reason to react.
If you have tried to relax your body and mentally stay in the present moment but can‘t seem to shake the feelings of fear and anxiety, you might try deliberately rewriting your experience so that it has a different outcome than the one you fear.
Continuing with the displeased boss example, you could change your belief about what his stern expression means. Rather than assuming it is related to you and leaping to negative conclusions about your promotion, you could say to yourself, “He‟s probably just stressed about a deadline or other problem. Maybe he just had an argument with someone. Maybe he doesn‟t feel well today. Maybe . . .” Keep going until you‘ve explored as many alternatives as you can come up with.
Another approach is to kick it up a notch and turn your thoughts in a more empowering direction.
As soon as you notice that you‘re starting to veer into negative thinking about your promotion, stop yourself immediately and engage in some empowering self"talk like this: “I know he can‟t be upset about my report because I put a lot of effort into it. I know I did a really good job! I‟m proud of myself for that. I‟m sure he‟s just stressed or preoccupied about something else. No matter what happens regarding this promotion, I‟m sure it will be wonderful.”
Or you can strengthen your belief that you can handle any outcome at all: “Even if he‟s not pleased with my report, I feel like I gave it my best shot. Even if this promotion doesn‟t come through for me, something wonderful will still come my way soon I‟m sure.”
Finally, you can create a game in which you come up with the very best outcome you can imagine " no matter how outlandish it may be. “He is probably so dazzled by my report that he‟s speechless! He‟s probably worried that I‟ll end up being promoted to HIS job! Maybe he realizes now that he can‟t afford to pay me the millions of dollars a year that I‟m worth. No matter what happens, I choose to expect the very best!”
Create the most outlandish, funny, or inspiring outcomes you can imagine, and in no time at all you‘ll feel the fear fading and your heart lifting (and maybe a few laughs bubbling up from inside too). The most important part of using these variations is to shake free from the illusion of fearful possibilities and remind yourself that fear is just an emotional response triggered by your own thoughts. Changing your thoughts will also change the emotional response.