There are dozens of ways to heal from sexual assault. I will separate the healing into three categories: mind, body, and spirit, since this is the Afrikan way.
Westerners perceive sexual assault as something that happens to the body that also affects the mind, but, in Afrikan and Indigenous traditional medicine, we acknowledge that trauma from sexual assault can also affect the spirit.
Healing the mind begins with checking in with your thoughts. What are they mostly revolving around? Worry? Fear? Regret? Blame? Stress? Anger? These are all normal emotions to have if you’re a survivor of sexual assault. It’s important to channel these emotions in constructive ways. For example, for a number of years, I had anger issues. I took my anger out on friends, family, people I was dating, and total strangers. I had so much unexpressed anger towards the people who raped me that I took it out on everyone else who I crossed paths with.
I had to heal my mind to address the anger. I did this through forgiveness and by shedding the programming of rape culture. First, I forgave myself, then, I forgave the abusers. Forgiving myself meant accepting the fact that I was not to blame for the sexual assault. It meant that I reclaimed my innocence in each and every abusive situation. I did this by telling myself, “I am innocent. I am not to blame. It was not my fault. I claim my innocence. I reclaim my power NOW!”
I have been using positive affirmations since 2013 to reprogram my subconscious thinking patterns. Positive affirmations have worked wonders in healing from sexual assault, in my experience. I constantly had feelings of unworthiness that stemmed from past abuse.
Healing the mind means making the switch from “victim mode” to “surviving or thriving mode”. This does not mean you deny your true emotions. All of your feelings are valid. It simply means when a trigger comes up, choose self-care over self-destruction. This is how you go from victim to survivor.
Mindfulness
Meditation
Positive affirmations
Setting boundaries
Talk/group therapy
Journaling
Breathwork
Private or social nudism
Activism
Educating yourself on consent
Sharing your story
Hypnotherapy
Helping fellow survivors
Utilizing consent culture in everyday life
Plant medicines (cannabis, psilocybin, ayahuasca, etc.)
Communing with nature, the Universe, righteous Ancestors, guardian angels (for people of European descent) and spirit guides (for people of African or Indigenous decent)
Self-care and TLC (bubble baths, vacation, setting boundaries with other people)
Practice saying “no”
Change of hairstyle, living space, or wardrobe (reinvent yourself! Once you start to heal, it’s the beginning of your rebirth)
Get to know triggers and avoid them
Visualization
Shot by PeteShawn, 2018,
Atlanta, GA
Shot by PeteShawn, 2018,
Atlanta, GA
“Since I got raped last month, I’ve been spending more time naked in public with strangers. (Yes, you heard that right!) Not only do I enjoy the freedom I feel being nude in nature, but it’s also to prove the point that nudity does not equate to sex or rape. I skinny
dipped in a few waterfalls and swam naked at night in the Indian Ocean. I was with men and
women of different backgrounds and ages, and, GUESS WHAT? I didn’t get raped. This proves the point that clothing/nudity do not cause rape, only rapists do. The man who attacked me
would have done so regardless…I’m a liberated, body positive naturist. If I want to swim naked
or shower with a stranger, that’s exactly what I’ll do! Most people are not rapists. Most people
have self-control. I’m not putting myself in “dangerous situations”. I’m being the change I wish to see in the world: a world where women are safe and free to live how they please. By
exposing the female body in a non-sexual way, we systematically desexualize it. So, I’m gonna keep rockin’ my birthday suit! Which reminds me…my birthday is in three days!”
-Originally published on Instagram December 26, 2015