It doesn’t matter who you are, what you were doing, where you were at, what you wore… It doesn’t matter if you drank or did drugs, sexual assault is never the survivor’s fault. The only person responsible for sexual assault is the person who committed it.
Refrain from blaming yourself. The person who did this to you was in the wrong. They never should have sexually assaulted you. You were completely innocent and still are.
Sexual abuse survivors can often feel unworthy of love or support. Let me be the first to tell you that you deserve BOTH. Talk to someone about what happened to you. If you’re not ready for that, or if you don’t get the response you want, write about it. Reclaim your power and voice by expressing the horrible things that were done to you. They are not your secrets to hide. They are not your burdens to bear.
Stand tall and know that you are not alone, as a survivor. Most of the people who surround you are survivors, but, no one’s talking about it. It’s time to change this. Sharing your story can create healing in such powerful ways. It will help you let go of pain, set you on a path to recovery, and allow you to own your power.
Take your time when it comes to speaking up and, remember, there’s no rush. You can share your story however you want to: in your own private journal, by talking to a trusted friend or family member, signing up for spiritual coaching or therapy, or by making art out of it!
Channeling your pain from abuse into art is a great way to heal while creating something amazing! You can do poetry, music, painting, dance, or any other art form that you enjoy. There are so many creative, natural, and virtually free ways to heal.
The path to healing is like riding a roller coaster, you will have ups and downs. This is all normal. There’s no “quick fix” when it comes to healing deep-rooted trauma. It takes time, and, that’s okay.
Healing from rape is a beautiful process. You will have moments where you need to cry it out, write it out, and dance it out. Whenever you feel down, just remember to pick yourself back up. Time does heal all wounds. You will absolutely conquer this. You CAN and WILL heal. Put in the work, and you’ll get the results.
Why wait to heal later when you can heal now? You’re already aware of how the assault is affecting your mind, body, spirit, and relationships. Resist the urge to self-sabotage. You deserve to heal RIGHT NOW.
Healing and consent go hand in hand because in a healed world, with healed people and healed minds, there is no rape! Healing is critical in order to thrive in Consentopia because as the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Some survivors go on to hurt others, but, with healing intervention, this can be prevented.
A part of healing means changing your mentality about the situation. Anyone can be a victim of sexual assault or rape. Becoming a survivor takes conscious effort. It’s a decision that one makes when they’re done with the days of victimhood (self-blame). It means you’re ready to step into your power by holding the attacker accountable and/or acknowledging that it was sexual assault.
You can step into your power as a survivor at any moment. All you have to do is tell yourself, “I’m a survivor!” You can make it as simple as that, or, do something special for yourself, to celebrate your rebirth as a survivor.
Becoming a survivor means that you have realized that trauma does not define you. You are more than your past experiences. It means you’re ready to heal and own your power.
What does this look like to you?
Photo by Tadeo Bourbon, 2016, Buenos Aires, Argentina
“You know you’re healing when you’re able to admit that you’ve been an abusive asshole in the past. It is NEVER okay to abuse someone, verbally, emotionally, or other
My incredible partner helped me realize the ways in which I was abusing others.
It makes me aware of how much rape survivors continue cycles of abuse as they navigate life unhealed.
I had no idea that my parents abused me until I became an adult and started learning about enlightenment and compassionate communication. I had no idea that I had absorbed energy from rapists and abusers until I started spewing out hatred at total strangers.
[I am now dedicated to] practicing compassionate communication.
This post is for all the rape survivors with twenty-foot walls surrounding them, with their guards high and on the defense constantly.
I know that being rude to others makes you feel temporarily empowered, but, guess what?
Your words and actions are truly a cry for help for the trained trauma eye.
Next time you bite someone’s head off...just don’t.
Hurt people hurt people. You don’t get excuses just cuz you were raped. The rape was not your fault. Healing is STILL your responsibility. Your life will be hell if you don’t do something about
it.
Owning abusive behavior helps me in all my relationships. Choose patience and compassion over anger and rage. This transmutes negative energy into Divine Love and we all know that’s what the world needs.
Here’s to radical change!”
-Originally published on Instagram January 4, 2018