19.0 My Re Marriage
I knew from my knowledge of God my sins would have to be removed and covered with the blood of Jesus Christ and this I trusted in God to do. I could have no relationship with God whilst I was still in my sins. I believed God for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of righteousness. I had done what I thought I must do to put things right with my wife and family.
I returned to my girl friend and we promised each other we would marry and stay together and seek the Christian way. I had to look again at what the bible had to say about marriage and wrote down my understanding and shared this with my girl friend in October 1996. I recommend this reading to any seeking marriage.
These views are recorded in the Appendix.
We went through many struggles and conflicts of conscience and sometimes I feared the worst would come upon us. I believed God was there for us but we would have to live with the repercussions or our actions.
I concluded my former marriage ended before I left my wife. I knew that the marriage had been desolved by divorce.
In reality this took place the moment my partner decided that was what she wanted. In fact I could have legally desoloved the marriage myself . I had offered to return to my former marriage out of duty and I forsook what I wanted in order to do this.
I was relieved when this did not take place because I still wanted my girl friend even though it was wrong.
I now felt free from that moment but struggled with it. There were many struggles as I was continually accused of many things and the children went through all kinds of hurt. All of which I regret having put them through.
I wanted to be at peace and married to my new partner and knew we had done wrong but things were not at all easy.
Having re looked at marriage I believed my marriage to my new partner took place once we had had exchanged or promises. I now realise that legal marriage can be and may well be a help. It is a reasonable step to take in the world we live in.
I would have got legally married as soon as I was legally divorced in August 1996. How ever my wife and I were married at Fareham Registry Office. I would have married sooner had it been possible.
113 Rebekah Alice Clarke Is Born
My wife gave birth to our lovely little girl on the 8 June 1997. She had very dark hair and blue eyes when she was born.
I was very pleased when I heard my wife was pregnant and was delighted.
Photo 38 Rebekah helps her daddy Photo 39 Rebekah and her Daddy
114 John Sawyers funeral
At that time John Sawyer one of my students died. He was a diabetic and lived alone at 6 Ranson Close, Titchfield.
The police rang me on morning asking if I knew John Sawyer. I explained I was his course tutor at Fareham College and he was one of my student doing a City and Guilds course in Electronics Servicing.
The police man explained John was found dead in his home at Titchfield and he had no relatives to contact and my telephone number was the only contact they found in John’s house.
I had known John, as a student at College, for about two years and had visited him at his home. He had shared with me about his life and his struggles with Fareham Borough Council about his workshop they stopped him building.
He was quite a well liked character amongst the staff at Fareham college. He love his wife who had died a few years previously and so he returned to college doing mechanical engineering and electronics as a hobby. He was a mechanic and engineer having all kinds of good electronic and mechanical equipment.
Since John had no relatives we decided at college to make arrangements for his own departure. It was muted at first we hire a proper vicar to conduct the funeral. It was then I stepped in and said I would be pleased to conduct his funeral.
Several students and staff came to his funeral including Geof Whitefield or Head of School and our Health and safety officer Maralyn Dufour.
Our technicians and staff were his coffin bearers whilst I spoke a few relevant words about John and his life. I related that Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus wept. It was a natural thing to feel and express grief. I said had John been a believer he would have gone to be with Christ but he had made no profession of faith as far as any one knew. So I couldn’t say any more.
It was a sorrowful occasion but John had a respectful funeral and he left us with good memories of him self.
It was commented after the funeral that his coffin was so heavy they suggested John had taken with him his tool kit .
It was also said I made a better preacher than a lecturer.
It can be said I cater for all my students’ needs.
Although I have not been a mid wife yet. Nor have I conducted a marriage.
115 Insecurity
My wife and I began to go to the “Jesus is Lord Church” at Warsash. Here the word of God was preached and I received help and support in terms of prayer and encouragement.
I shared in the prayer meetings my many fears and anxieties and was prayed for and encourage by the members. Peter Jacob was one of the elders.
Having returned to the Lord Jesus in faith and repentance I began to re look at the issues I had experience at Bierton and released there was one area or Christian reality missing at Bierton which was the ministry of God the Spirit as mentioned in Corinthian churches. The anointing of the Spirit which breaks the yoke of bondage. I was not a stranger to this but I had dried up and put off the exercise of these spiritual gifts when I left the Pentecostal Church in Bierton all those years ago. I was in reality a novice and child in my understanding of these things.
After prayer, one Monday evening , after I had expressed I had been troubled with the spirit of fear and suicide (all due to my troubles in my marriage). Peter Jacob laid hands on me and prayed for me. I began that night speak again in tongues and since then exercise this gift in prayer on my own. The spirit of suicide and fear left me since that night. I thank God in the name of Jesus for this deliverance.
During this time I had began to read again and listen to sermons on Christian things. I began to read the foundation series of books by Derek Prince and re discover the teaching on spiritual gifts for the functioning of the body of Christ. All of which has been a source of great encouragement. There is more to come. “Converted on LSD( part 2) “Is there life after remarriage?.
Summery
I would encourage my readers to put their trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Trust the Bible in all that it says. Jesus is alive. Contact me.
See appendix for the address etc. I am in membership of the Christian Gospel Church meeting at The Langstone Hotel, Northney, Hayling Island, Hampshire. England.