Creating Happiness: Tools for Improving Your Life by James Carr - HTML preview

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Success

 

What does it mean to have a successful life? A successful life is where you become happy with your current situation and are proud of the decisions that got you there. If a certain aspect of your life is exactly where you want it to be, then you have succeeded.

 

Everyone has an image, or a set of standards, in their mind on how their lives should be. In other words, you have an image on how your body should look or how your career should look. When you don’t meet that standard, you’re not happy and you don’t see yourself as successful. When you’re unhappy with your weight, it’s because your weight doesn’t match how you think your weight should be. When you’re unhappy with your income, it’s because you’re not making as much as you feel you should be making.

 

So I say again. A successful life is where you become happy with your current situation and are proud of the decisions that got you there. When you have aligned your weight with how you imagine it should be, then you have succeeded. When your income has met, or exceeded, how you imagine it should be, then you have succeeded.

 

Now you might think that the secret to happiness is to align every aspect of your life with how you feel it should be, but that’s not exactly true. Don’t get happiness confused with success. If you have succeeded in every aspect of your life, where do you go from there? Our bodies crave growth and improvement. If you meet all of your goals, your life would be boring. Our bodies and our minds need something to strive for-some way to get better. Which is why we raise our standards.

 

This kind of goes back to the positive spiral again. We raise our standards because once we have met all of our ideals, as I mentioned above, we have discovered our potential and strengthened our belief. At that point there is nowhere to go but creating another goal, or vision, to strive for-having the confidence and belief to keep going and keep growing.

 

So happiness is just a pursuit? We can’t actually get there? No. I’ll explain the secret to this magical thing called happiness soon.

 

How do I become successful?

 

Well first you need to figure out what you want. You can’t set a goal to obtain something if you don’t even know what it is. So this is where you need to decide what you want in your life. Take some time to write down exactly what you want and be specific. This could be material goods, this could be mental or physical changes, this could be major lifestyle changes or it could be short term goals.

 

Examples:

I want to lose 30lb. I want to get a promotion and earn the respect of my colleagues. I want to be financially secure and pay off all of my debt.

 

These are all goals that can be obtained. You have the potential, which the piece of the component that is always there and never changes. Now you can begin to think positive, become certain and believe that you can achieve the goal-realize your potential. Finally, t ake action.

 

Example: I want to lose 30lb.

 

We know you have the potential. With enough effort anyone can lose weight. So what’s left? Believe that you have the potential, because you do and you can be certain of it. Well, there’s no results yet because you haven’t started, that just leaves taking action. Get off your butt and start working. You can throw on some shoes right now and start walking.

 

When you lose the first 1, 2, or 5lb you have results and those results will reinforce your belief and certainty that you have the potential, which will drive you to take more action and keep producing results. What if you don’t see results? You already know you have the potential and you believe it, so you need to change your action. Whether that’s eating better or exercising more, there’s something that needs to change so that you can get different results and kick start that positive spiral.

 

Failure - The One Thing You Can’t Have

 

There’s no more failure for you. There are times where you need to readjust your action or belief, but there’s no failure. Quitting is an irrational decision at this point because we know that if you quit, you fail, and it becomes impossible at that moment to produce any change or produce any results. It’s never too late to change your mindset and change your actions to get different results. So why would you quit?

 

That being said, there will be times where you get undesired results, which used to look like failure, but unless you’re giving up you can still readjust and continue to strive for good results. Keep working hard and being certain that you have the potential, then your actions will keep you from failing and it will only be a matter of time before you succeed.

 

Work hard to play hard? Or just play hard.

 

Speaking of hard work. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s normal to hate your job or that work isn’t supposed to be fun. That thinking is toxic and is a major cause of living a miserable life. You need to understand that earning a living by having fun is not only possible, it’s essential. You should want to work hard and hard work should come naturally. How many times have you woken up in the morning, dreading the day of work ahead of you? If you’re like I was, then that happened every day. It’s draining isn’t it? Even after 8 full hours of sleep, you might feel exhausted. That’s a bad sign.

 

Now think about a time where you had some time off of work or think about a time where you had an exciting trip or event ahead of you. You wake up energized and excited right? Well what if I said that you can have that every day? What if I said that the best way to live life is to feel excited to wake up and start your day, especially if it’s “just another work day.”

 

It’s important to understand that the quality of your work is reflected by your attitude. If you are passionate about your work then your outcome will be of a much better quality. When we hate our jobs we tend to cut corners and do the minimum amount of work required. It’s hard to get motivated to do well at a job that we dislike. So there’s no rational reason to stay in a job that you hate. It’s unhealthy, a bad decision, and it’s a good way to start a bad spiral which can affect the other aspects of your life.

 

This doesn’t only apply to our careers, but any goals. You need to be passionate about those goals and truly want them in order to take quality action and get quality results. If you don’t truly want it, your actions will reflect that.

 

Self Esteem and Identity

 

Who are you? I don’t mean your name. I mean how do you describe yourself? If someone else were to describe you without using your name what would they say? Would they say that you’re a caring person, a smart person, a dumb person, a fit person, or a fat person? The identity that you give to yourself will always manifest. If you look at yourself as a stupid person, you will always feel that way no matter how smart you get. As the old saying goes, “you are your own worst critic.”

 

An important step to making drastic life changes is to change your identity. Even if you have to lie to yourself. If you’re 100lbs overweight, tell yourself that you’re fit and athletic. As you progress with your life goals, it will become more and more aligned. Come up with an identity for yourself and repeat it every day.

 

Example: “I am a smart, athletic, successful, and strong person. I am passionate, loving, and caring.”