Changing your reaction to the situation
I found myself becoming an emotional wreck. I'd always react habitually to a set situation. The pattern of my life was established.
The act of observation. Many times I've found myself starting to react in the old way when something happens. Suddenly I've seen it for what it is and I've stopped myself. I've stepped back, realized the pattern and altered my reaction. This is you, choosing a different path and changing your life to one of empowerment.
Know that certain things you can't change and decide for that to be ok. Each person is responsible for their own life. They make their choices. Even though you might think that choice is wrong for them and argue your point, ultimately it's their choice. This applies to so many situations. A person marrying the wrong person, a child who is now an adult making a decision that you think will badly impact on their life. Argue your point with them, but know that even if their life ends up in the wrong direction, you can't alter their decision. It's up to them. Don't keep interfering as really you only have control over your reaction to the situation, not theirs. You can't change another. It only leads to regrets and suffering for yourself.
Just let whatever happens be ok with you and stop reacting to it. Even if the ultimate outcome is death/suicide for that person, they choose this outcome. Nothing happens to you except by your own choice. You will probably never know why this happened now but ultimately you will know, when you are enlightened by seeing the bigger picture at the end of this life. Energy never dies, all is energy so you're never separate during or after this life. You can't kill or destroy energy.
Stop living totally in your emotions. A situation arises, your blood pressure rockets and you lash out. You're angry and may be in tears. You're out of control and hear yourself saying things you'll regret. But you can't help it.
Allow this to continue and you'll always be at the mercy of your emotions and be in a depressed state. You've lost control of your life. The only thing to do here is step back from the event. Give yourself five seconds to calm down and assess the situation. Look at yourself. You're about to verbally lash out again and you don't want to. See it for what it is. “Why are you doing it? (curiosity). Here I am again in the same groove. Do I want to be or can I do something about it?” You don't even know it but you're trying to perpetuate the same old beliefs of yours. It's comic. It's slapstick. You're making your life into a joke. Take control here.
Suddenly you're looking at this impending fight with new eyes. The feeling is melting away. Defending these old beliefs is making you unhappy and for what? You don't always have to defend yourself. Choose another response. Have faith that you can change.
“Stuck in traffic, I hated the SUV tailgating me from behind. I stuck up my finger and we both stopped. Out we got, screaming at each other.
Suddenly, I looked at myself and realized I was only creating misery for myself here. I just stepped back into my own car and drove away. Now when that happens and I'm in traffic, I just keep driving and the car either moves back or overtakes, leaving me to have a nice day. Why do I want my day to be ruined?”