Changing the situation
I found myself being the victim.
I was becoming accident-prone. One health problem would replace another in quick succession. I realized in my weakened state that I was attracting this.
I was at the mercy of my relatives. They could manipulate me through guilt always. If they said, “You're being unfair and neglecting our needs”, that was the trigger to subjugate my own needs and run to help them/give them money.
I was at the mercy of my job. I was so afraid of losing it, the money from it and social status of having that job, that I found myself working all hours and sacrificing myself to the needs of the corporation.
I wasn't good enough at anything. I needed to work twice as hard at anything to succeed. I needed to look twice as good to find love. I needed to focus totally on my children as they reflect my life and everything must appear perfect.
I had become the total victim of life. Could I let this victimization be allowed to continue forever? I always felt fearful and strangled because of it. But the pattern had developed and how do you change a pattern?
Are you this perpetual sleepwalker? Fearful of your own shadow. So afraid that the tyranny that is your life, will just automatically continue. You always hope it will get better when you retire/when the children are older/when you're feeling better/when you find a partner. But really it never abates.
This is when you've got to step back and ask, “Do I really want this situation to continue?” The answer is always “No. I want to be in control of my life and be creating happy situations for myself”.
Who really is in control of your life? Is is some unseen being, some outside force, some person using the power of guilt or is it you? When you finally realize it is you, then change can start.
Who are you anyway? Some frail snowflake blown around by the wind or some perfect being who is creating their life scene by scene. You are one with Me and linked into that eternal energy source. Nothing happens by you or to you that is not your choice. You're creating the daily life dramas, to elicit sympathy and to blackmail others to do your will. This in turn creates frustration and resentment in both yourself and that other person.
You're always conjuring up the fear of losing your job. It's with you night and day. “I'm going to lose my job, I'm going to lose my job”. Ok if that's what you want so much it's gone. You've lost it! You always get what you want.
You're never good enough. Disabuse your mind of the old-fashioned notion that birth has any significance at all in our world. You are capable of doing what you want and going as far as you want in your life. Allow yourself to be held back by your mind and you will be. Think a little less of the impression you are making on other people and you will be a wiser
and happier person. Focus on your assets rather than faults. Say to yourself ten times before going to bed every night, what you want to become your reality and it will be.