3. Faith in change being possible
We've forgotten what it is to be great. We've become small - “This is Civilization” BBC TV
Do you want to change but have almost given up on it being possible? Most of us at some stage of our lives have become trapped in a web of our own making. We have lost sight of the bigger picture of life. We've become so trapped in the smaller pictures of our world (suburbia, work grind, domesticity) that we've forgotten that a bigger picture can and has existed in life. The fight for our basic freedoms has existed now for at least sixty years in western society and people have forgotten what a huge struggle it was to win these rights. They are taken for granted and made people small in the process. The most we can want is a bigger house and a better partner. Consequently to make our lives more exciting, we are continually inflicting some sort of suffering on ourselves without even knowing it.
Let's look at some likely scenarios.
a. You're overreacting again. You've lashed out either verbally or even physically and have created a bad situation either at work or at home. You didn't mean to say what you did and you now regret it, but unless you start doing something about this now you're going to end up ostracized and alone. The only hope for you is to believe you can change and act on this.
b. You find yourself continually ending up in the same life situation over and over again. You're obviously creating it but don't even realize how you're doing this and consequently how you can alter the pattern. For pattern it is. Maybe the people change, but always it's the same outcome. You're attracting the same friends. You think they like you, but end up just wanting to use you. All your relationships are ending up like this. Is it my fault? You've got to look at yourself and your actions closely to find out what's creating this recurrent situation. Then believe that you can go on to create a more positive outcome for yourself.
How do you put your faith in change being possible, to work? Look at:
1. What problems have I got?
2. Do these keep recurring and if so why?
3. How do I usually react to a stressful situation?
Angrily
Blaming others
Beating myself up
Having a drink/drugs to forget it
Running away and avoiding it
4. How can I start to deal rationally with these problems?
5. Looking at my fears and anxieties. You need perspective here. Is it going to kill you? Or is it just stopping you from enjoying your life?
You're choosing the situations that are creating the anger and anxiety and you're choosing the response as well. You can both change the situation and the response. You can go placidly amidst the noise and haste and it won't touch you.