Chapter Eleven: How To Meet Women
OK, now let's talk about the nuts and bolts of how to meet women.
Guys are constantly trying to find new 'angles' and 'lines' so that it can 'appear natural' when they talk to a woman. I mean, hell... most women's fantasy is to meet a guy in a charming place and have this whole unplanned romantic thing happen right out of a movie (irony: unplanned and right out of a movie).
I really think that instead of trying to mask a pick up, just make it damn good. If you can just be in the 'more interesting' category, you'll get her attention, which is a major step. Then you can lean into the cocky and funny routine and take it from there.
Don't try to hide the fact that you're picking a woman up - be great at it, then get into cocky and funny (and reframe as them picking you up! Ha).
The Initial Approach
This one is simple.
I've tried probably 50 different types of 'lines' and techniques for meeting women, and I've found that the simple ones work the best. If I’m in an environment that has a lot of people, and I’m with a friend, I like to start by asking a woman for her ‘opinion’ on something.
Here’s how it happens… first of all, I keep my eyes open for current affairs and interesting trivia that involves gender differences and tension. This makes for amazing conversation openers with hot intelligent women.
My latest favorite: “Hey, let me ask you a question. My friend and I were talking about something, and I think we need a female perspective…” (This is a killer, by the way. It’s taken me a long time to figure this one out… but it kicks ass). Then I say “I was just looking on the internet… and do you know that the average woman in America is 5’ 4”, weighs 150 pounds, and wears a size 14?”
They usually grab the ball and take off into the conversation with just that..
Others include “Do you think that men understand what women really want and need?” and “What do you think of this new trend of women wanting to pay their own way… and the Charlie’s Angel’s theme song that sings about this as almost a stuck up thing to do?”
You with me here?
After starting a conversation, get into Mr. Cocky and Funny mode, and you’ll do some good work.
If I’m alone, and the woman is alone with friends I usually start with a compliment opener… depending on the situation.
And I always try to tie it into the situation, so it doesn’t sound canned. Women that I run into can smell canned openers… I think that they’re getting popular again or something… because women can sense them like a dog senses kitties.
I might say “Excuse me… <Pause pause pause for effect> I noticed you when I walked in, and I had to take a second to find out what you were like…” or something equally plausible sounding.
What I’ve realized is… if you’re going to approach a woman, what you say doesn’t much matter as much as HOW you say it (remember the character thing?).
So keep a serious look on your face (no big cheesy smiles) as this creates the feeling that you're not overly excited. Then speak with a slow, mysterious confidence.
I've met many men who have big problems getting past the idea of walking up to women that they don't know and starting a conversation. In fact, I had a huge issue with this when I started learning about how to deal with women. My best advice is to just go for it, and keep doing it until you finally get over it.
If you are turned away by her, or you get a rude person, just move on to the next one. Persistence is the price of success.