Chapter Twelve: How to have her phone number
If you've ever asked a woman for her phone number, you've probably noticed an interesting phenomena - very few of them say "no" directly. Instead, they say everything BUT "yes."
Have you ever gotten these responses?
"I'm sorry, I don't have a phone."
How do you communicate? Smoke signals??? "Why don't you give me your number?"
Right. And as soon as your back is turned, that card with your number on it will be shredded so fast the CIA would envy the chick's ability to destroy documents. DON'T BUY IT! If a woman tries this slick trick on you, just nod your head, smile, and walk off, leaving her secure in the knowledge that she met a man too smart for her to bamboozle. "Sure. It's 555-1221."
The old wrong number ploy. Icky, aren't they?
My point is this - if you get anything but her immediate positive response when you ask for her number, you are in big trouble, partner. Giving out the home phone number is a major step into her privacy, and she usually ain't about to do it unless she digs you on SOME level.
What's the best way to ask for the number? Try to be as matter of fact and straight forward as possible. "I'd like to take you out sometime, can I have your home phone number?" will do just fine.
If you want to be a little slicker, hand her a pen and a card and say, "Magic seven digits, please." That's a bit more inventive, and inventiveness never hurts.
If you do get the number, get lost as soon as you can. There's no point hanging around after you've closed the sale. Leave her wondering about you and get the hell out of there before you do or say something to make her change her mind.
How long should you wait before you call? That depends. If you sense her interest in you was pretty high, it's safe to wait 5 to 7 days. She'll be wondering what happened and why you haven't called, and that will make you appear more CHALLENGING and therefore more attractive in her eyes.
If you sense she wasn't that interested, wait two days and then call.
Try to muster up all the cheerfulness and fun you can when you make your call to pitch the date. You want to sound carefree, fun, and excited about the absolute blast the two of you are going to have together. Talk to her in the tone of voice you'd use for an old friend who you enjoy being with.
The key point is to ask her out FOR A SPECIFIC NIGHT. Don't say, "Would you like to get together this week?" or "What night are you free?" That's a weak pitch. You want to come on stronger than that.
Try "Let's have dinner Wednesday night, eight o'clock. Then we can go dancing." Then SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO NOT SAY A WORD!!!!!
That brief moment of silence is the acid test. If you hear a long hesitation before she answers, or excuses, or anything but, "Sure, I'd love to," you've got a problem on your hands.
If a woman really does want to see you, but has something to do on the night you've asked her to be with you, and just can't cancel those plans, what will her response be? SHE'LL MAKE A COUNTER-OFFER. Something on the lines of, "I can't Wednesday, but how about Thursday at 8 o'clock?"
Don't confuse a counter-offer with an "I'm busy, but how about another time?" That's a stone cold REJECTION. If she really wanted to go out with you another time, she'd tell you when that time is. Take it from someone who used to fall for this one all the time - it will do nothing but generate useless, timewasting wishful thinking on your part. Either you get the date, or a specific counter-offer, or you FORGET IT!
One final warning here, because women are even trickier than you can imagine. Often times you'll make your pitch for a specific night to go out; say a Wednesday. And you'll hear, "That's sounds like fun. Sure I'll go."
Then, throbbing with the thrill of victory, as you are about to hang up you hear, "Oh. Could you do me a favor? Could you call back Wednesday about 6 pm to confirm?" Or you might hear, "Call me Wednesday around 6 pm and I'll give you my address."
DON'T GET SUCKERED BY THIS TRICK! You haven't got a date in this instance, you have an option for a date. The chick is waiting to hear from the guy she's REALLY interested in, and if he's not available, then you may get the date.
If a girl tries to pull this on you, say something like, "I don't think that's a good idea. We'll try another time when your schedule is looser."
That will put her in her place nicely. You've shown her that you can't be suckered and she can't call the shots almost certainly an unlikely and unusual occurrence.
That will definitely get her attention.
Wait a week and call her back. Chances are she'll accept the date without the "call and confirm" bullshit. If she doesn't, then TOSS HER NUMBER AWAY and move on to the next adventure. She's just out to waste your time anyway.
Once you've made your date with your lady, get off the phone! Again, you might blow it if you stay on and jabber, and you want to keep her wondering about you. Do your talking on the date! If you hit it off on the phone, where does that leave you? You can't get laid over a phone wire, whatever the 976 numbers would have you believe! Save it for the date.
Finally, nowadays almost everyone has one of those damn phone answering machines! DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE ON ONE OF THESE BEFORE YOU'VE HAD A DATE WITH A WOMAN. Using a phone machine as a buffer between you and the lady is weak, antichallenge, and puts the ball in her court, as you either have to wait for her to call you back or alternatively, look impatient and desperate by calling her to see if she got your message. AVOID THIS PHONE BLUNDER LIKE THE PLAGUE!
I've personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers.
I've found that email addresses are far better.
Let me explain.
I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago.
If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in about a minute. I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that numbers don’t equal success.
You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually interested. But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person. When you call a woman for the first time, they'll often start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude.
I've found that getting an email address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on.
It's almost like women appreciate it that you've taken the time to think about what you're going to say when you write an email to them.
The other benefit of email is that it can be written and answered anytime.
If you call, you have to actually reach them.
But an email can be answered anytime.
And I've found that emails are answered far more often than voicemail messages.
Here's the how to:
After I’ve talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ll often say something like “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.” They usually don’t know what to do, as they’re used to guys clinging. Then, just as I’m turning to walk away… and we kind of disconnect… I turn back and say “Do you have email?”.
If they say yes, I take out a pen and paper and have them write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the ‘yes’ that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they’ve ALL gone along with it so far) Then I say “Write your number down there too.” I won’t go into all of it, but this move is a powerhouse. When you ask for email, it’s very low risk for them… so they think “Fine, I’ll do that”… and then when they’re already writing, I get the phone number too… which is more natural.
If they say no, then I bust on them and say “Well, do you have electricity?” Then I say “Well, OK then… I like email better, but I’ll take your regular phone number… it’s so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days.”.
I hope you get what just happened… OK, then, as they’re writing I say “Is this a number that you actually answer?” If not, then I say “Look, write your real number down… it’s going to be OK, I’ll only call you nine times a day.” They laugh, and give me their real number. Just realize that all you have to do is ask.
Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things. Many guys say "But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?" I've never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also knew why you asked. Just assume that this is the case.
If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone number.