Investing In You - The Power of Positive Thinking by Andrew Beaulac - HTML preview

OPENING YOUR BLOSSOMS

“Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity’s door if you ardently wish to enter.”

- Charles Forbes

Now that your new positive mindset is firmly rooted in your mental garden, you will start to see the buds of possibility appearing everywhere in your life. You can learn to coax blossoming success from the endless fertile fields surrounding you. Recognizing opportunity is an essential component to achieving your objectives; whether is it subtle as a clover or brilliant as a sunflower.

In this section, we will review tips and techniques for realizing the full potential of the power of positive thinking

Poppy Fields: Visualizing in Technicolor

“We must be over the rainbow!”

- Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz

Anyone who has seen the timeless classic film The Wizard of Oz remembers that magical moment when Judy Garland's Dorothy steps out from the wreckage of her black-and-white house into a breathtakingly colorful world- a world she later discovers had been there all along. Realizing the power of positive thinking is like capturing that movie magic for yourself. Suddenly, your surroundings appear in a whole new light: alive with the possibilities of your life and ripe for picking.

One powerful method for accessing positive thinking is visualization. This means picturing yourself actually achieving your goals and being the person you want to be. Like many of the processes we have described so far, using visualization can feel awkward at first. The best way to start off using visualization is solo practice, but eventually you will be able to initiate the process of visualization in just about any circumstance, under any conditions.

The most important thing you should learn about visualization is this: it only works if you really, really want it to work. Whatever you are visualizing, whether it's a material goal or a new mental attitude, you must be absolutely convinced of your vision. This method runs on mental energy, so the stronger your thoughts are, the more likely they will be to influence your life.

Shoot the works – visualize something beautiful.

Preparation: Boarding the Visualization Train

There are several varieties of visualization methods, but the first step in any one of them is always the same. You must prepare yourself mentally to receive your vision in order to be able to fully immerse your consciousness. The process of preparing for visualization is nearly the same as meditation, and you can add in your own elements as you gain more experience with the process.

• Find a quiet, undisturbed place. At first you will need to be alone while you visualize. Choose a room or a space that you will use on an exclusive basis for visualization during the beginning stages. Be sure your surroundings are quiet and uninterrupted. White noise is acceptable for visualization, but for most methods you should not use music or recorded sound (you will be visualizing your own sounds!).
• Get comfortable. The best way to perform visualization is from a seated position. You can use a comfortable chair or the floor or ground, as long as you seat yourself in a way that will allow you to remain comfortable for at least ten to fifteen minutes.
• Set a timer. The effects of visualization vary from person to person, but in some cases it can produce a trance-like state. To ensure you don't end up visualizing the day away, get a silent electronic timer (no ticking!) or set an alarm clock to go off in fifteen to twenty minutes (at this point, you still have a few minutes of preparation before you begin the process of visualization).
• Relax your body. If you happen to possess the ability to relax at will; great, do that! If you're like most of us and you do not, you can engage in progressive relaxation to drain the tension from your muscles. Begin at your feet and concentrate on releasing all tension, one body part at a time. It may take you a few tries to do this; don't worry if it doesn't happen the first time. It can be difficult to achieve complete relaxation, and in many cases there will be some tension or stiffness remaining. You will find that the more often you practice relaxation, the less tension remains.
• Clear your mind. There are a few ways to accomplish this; you should choose the one that works best for you. One way is to imagine a single, benign object such as a white ball or a leaf, and focus entirely on the imaginary object until all your other thoughts simmer down. Picture your thoughts as a crowd in a football stadium, with the object in the center. Each thought stills as its attention is drawn to the object, until they are all silent. Another method for clearing your mind is to “send” your thoughts away by wrapping them in a mental “bubble” and allowing them to drift away from your consciousness.
• Breathe. Once you have relaxed your body and cleared your mind, you should perform three to five minutes of deep, concentrated breathing. Try to keep yourself focused on nothing but your breathing; this will relax you even further and prepare your mind to experience visualization.

You can also use this introduction to visualization as an alternate form of meditation. Taking a few moments to relax is always beneficial, and can energize you to face the tasks you've set for yourself.

Before you actually begin your preparation activities, you should choose the type of visualization you intend to use and make yourself aware of the process involved. Then you will be able to go directly from preparation to visualization.

Guided visualization

Guided visualization is perhaps the most powerful form available. In this method, you act as the captain of your visionary ship, guiding yourself through the images you conceive as though they were actually happening. When using guided visualization, it is especially important to set your timer, as it is easy to become caught up in your visualized reality.

To perform guided visualization, you need to do a bit of preparation beforehand. Choose a setting or scene in which you feel comfortable and affix the setting firmly in your mind: a sandy beach, a deep forest, or even an open-air mall (if you feel better away from nature and would have a tendency to visualize lots of bugs).

Guided visualization is best for working on your own emotions and behaviors. Decide before you begin the way you want to visualize yourself, whether it is being more confident, losing weight, or simply feeling relaxed and at ease. Tell yourself that the place you're going will give you the power to achieve these feelings, emotions or characteristics. When you begin your visualization after your preparation phase, don't imagine watching yourself perform the desired actions. Instead, try to feel as though you are actually doing them: as if you have suddenly lost fifty pounds, or gained a hefty dose of confidence. You might even want to make yourself fly! (Just be sure you don't try to translate your newfound powers of flight into real life experience, unless it's boarding a plane).

You can also perform guided visualization with the assistance of an audio program or themed music. You might want to try guided meditation tapes the first few times, and then gradually move away from them until you can perform this method on your own. After all, it is your mind that you are trying to reprogram, and you should fill it with your own thoughts, feelings and emotions in order to reach your personal objectives.

Receptive visualization

Another form of visualization is receptive visualization. This differs from guided visualization in that you are watching yourself rather than doing something. Receptive visualization is a good technique for working on your interactions with other people. For example, if you want to ask someone out on a date, you may visualize yourself doing so flawlessly and convincingly, and then visualize your target agreeing.

Performing receptive visualization is almost like watching a movie in your mind, with you as the director. The beauty of receptive visualization is that when things start to go in a different direction from the way you want them, a simple thought can change everything. You are in complete control, and the more completely and often you visualize a situation, the more likely it will be to happen just the way you pictured it.

After you've practiced receptive visualization, you can use it just about anywhere, in any situation. For example, imagine you go to the bank to make a withdrawal, but when you reach the teller you discover there is a problem with your account and you have to speak with a bank manager. While you're waiting, you can visualize your conversation with the manager and mentally resolve the matter in your favor. Then, when you actually do speak to the manager, you will be ready to face the situation calmly and with confidence. More often than not, things will proceed quite similarly to your vision.

Receptive visualization is the most useful method of visualization for everyday events. Because it is versatile and adaptable, you can use receptive visualization to resolve nearly any problem. You will be able to move through each day with a sense of confidence that everything will turn out just as you want it to, and because of your projected confidence, other people will respond to you in a pleasant manner.

Practicing your receptive visualization skills can ease the stresses of daily life, which in turn improves your entire situation.

Beautiful visions can lead to beautiful things.

Altered memory visualization

The final visualization technique we will discuss is altered memory visualization. This form is especially useful in resolving past conflicts and calming anger. In altered memory visualization, you can either “be” the image or watch yourself, whichever you are most comfortable with. The main objective of altered memory visualization is to envision an actual memory and alter the outcome in your mind to reach a better, more satisfying resolution.

You can use altered memory visualization for small issues such as being cut off in traffic, or larger areas like past tragedy or trauma. Again, it is important to use a timer for this method, particularly when working with major traumas. It is too easy to become so immersed in your memories that you cannot shake them.

Whether you choose to watch or participate, begin remembering the event you want to change the way it actually occurred. Try to recall all the sights, sounds and smells just as they were. When you reach an unpleasant point in your memory, direct yourself to react differently from the way you did- or direct the other person to do something different. With practice, you will be able to quickly shift your mental images to a more positive chain of events, and the feelings you formerly associated with your memories will lessen in their effect on you. Using altered memory visualization is a powerful tool for forgiveness, whether you direct it toward yourself or someone else.

By employing visualization techniques and practicing frequently, you will heighten and augment your positive thinking foundation.

Envisioning your desires is the first step to achieving them. You can accomplish anything you believe you can, and visualization will help you realize your goals faster and with less effort.

Worry-Me-Nots and You-Can-Themums

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.”

- Richard Bach

Believing in yourself and your abilities is absolutely the most important thing you can do on your journey to positive thinking. It is critical to develop the self-confidence you need to carry you through to the realization of your goals.

Self-confidence is a bit different from self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to your feelings about yourself, your behaviors and your worth as a person. Self-confidence is your belief in your abilities and in the way you present yourself to the world. The actions of others are more likely to erode your self-confidence rather than your self-esteem. However, the two emotions have quite a bit in common. Both are measures of your inherent or developed belief in yourself- and both can be easily pushed off balance, resulting in either over-confident or defeatist behaviors that distance you from your ultimate objectives.

What will you plant in your garden?

As previously discussed, you need to create a balance between too little self-confidence and too much. You cannot accomplish anything without self-confidence; on the other hand, too much self-confidence can ensure that you don't try hard enough to reach your goals, and you will fall short of realizing your possibilities.

Once you understand that you truly can do anything you put your mind to, you will have unlocked the key to positive thinking. There is no limit to the power of the human mind. Your possibilities really are endless.

You can help yourself build self-confidence through a simple daily exercise you develop yourself after learning the basic premise. Like most of the practices for working with positive thinking, you may feel ridiculous at first (yes, we are aiming to make you feel ridiculous. Next we break out the flowered hats and funny nose glasses). Here are the basic steps to your daily self-confidence routine, which is best performed in the morning as you prepare to face the day:

• Decimate distractions. You need this time to yourself. You deserve this time to yourself. While you're performing your self-confidence routine, don't answer the phone, check your e-mail, watch television, or listen to the radio. Let household members know that this time is your time, and you would prefer not to be disturbed.
• Get physical. Pamper yourself with your daily physical preparations. When you shower, use your favorite soap or scented body wash. Choose clothing that makes you feel good and matches your mood. Make yourself comfortable with the way you look, and your self-confidence will rise to match it.
• Focus forward. As you get ready, reflect on what you want to accomplish for the day. Be sure to consider the mood you want to set for yourself as well as any goals or objectives you will reach. You might even partake in a quick receptive visualization session to see yourself reaching your goals and cement them in your mind.
• Get pumped. Now comes the ridiculous part. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and sing your own praises. Out loud. Tell yourself that you are the person you want to be; that you possess worthwhile qualities; that you can do that which you are now setting out to do. Be as specific as possible. Instead of saying, “I am competent,” say: “I know how to handle problems when they arise.” The more specific you are, the more effective your self- confidence routine will prove to be.

Self-confidence is the glue that holds your personality together. If you are serious about changing your life, developing a healthy self- confidence will equip you to do it quickly and effortlessly. Don't let fear, worry and doubt keep you from blossoming into confidence. You can accomplish anything, as long as you believe you can. It really is as simple as that.

Cross-Pollination: How to “Bee”

“Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.”

- Tom Blandi

Perhaps as important as what you believe is the manner in which you believe it. Your attitude can turn a miserable event into a pleasant one; or a good time into a nightmare. By controlling your attitude, you have the power to control any situation and make what you want from it.

In order to determine the best attitude for any given situation, you should take some time to decide the kind of person you want to be, and the image you want to convey. You may be interested in being the life of the party, the quintessential sympathetic ear, or the strong and silent type with the ability to take the lead at any moment. Once you are aware of your true self, you can begin to adjust your attitude to match.

Here are some important considerations to keep in mind as you develop your personal attitude preferences:

Bee yourself

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”

- Raymond Hull

Whatever attitude you choose, be sure it is a reflection of your true self. Being true to yourself is crucial to the success of your positive thinking program. You have only one life to live, and spending it trying to emulate someone else robs the world of the person you could have been.

You may not know yourself as well as you would like to, or as well as you should. If you have been following the methods in this book so far, you may have discovered more than you knew before. One of the most wondrous aspects of humankind is that there is always something new to discover about ourselves; always some new avenue of interest to explore or stand to take. We possess the capacity to never succumb to boredom. It is amazing that with all the activity happening in the world, so many people experience lulls and cannot find anything to occupy themselves with. If you ever become bored, you have stopped developing as a person and should take steps to rectify the situation immediately. Knowing yourself is a constant journey that should never cease.

How can you get to know yourself better? Try some of the following techniques to discover aspects of your personality you may not have even known existed:

• Date Yourself. Choose an activity you either know you enjoy or believe you will enjoy, and make a date to do it by yourself. Treat this date as you would any other commitment: dress nicely, arrive on time, and don't put it off unless an absolute emergency comes up. When you go out on your date, notice the things that make you feel good. Enjoy the experience of being with yourself and doing something fun. When you are finished, reflect on the date just as you would with any other event. What did you enjoy about the experience? What did you dislike? What would you have changed? You should make a date with yourself at least once a month, even if it's just for a walk in the woods or an evening on the couch with popcorn and rental movies.
• Talk to Yourself. You are capable of making intelligent conversation with other people to discover more about them. Why not do the same with yourself? You can hold a conversation with yourself aloud or in your head, whichever you are comfortable with. Ask yourself leading questions, and then take some time to think about the honest answers. Lying to yourself is the worst offense you can commit.
• Record Yourself. When you discover new aspects of your personality or sparks of interest you didn't know you had, write them down and remember them. You may not have time to explore a particular thought when it occurs to you, but if you jot it down and come back to it later, you will be able to expound on it. It can be helpful to keep a small notebook or planner with you to write things down as they occur to you, and flip through it when you have a few spare minutes.
• Analyze Yourself. The way you react to social situations and world events can be very revealing about yourself. Keep yourself informed about what's going on in the world, either by reading the newspaper, watching television news, or frequenting news feed web sites. Take note of your reactions to real events and situations, and try to apply them to situations in your life. You can use this to help you determine why you feel a certain way about people or situations that impact your everyday life, and then plan your attitude toward them around your newfound knowledge.

Bee happy

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”

- Jim Rohn

Perhaps you are one of those people who are thinking just now, “You can't tell me to be happy. I don't have to be happy if I don't want to be. Isn't this supposed to help me find my true self? What if I'm just not a happy person?” If you are one of those people, think about this: not being happy makes you happy.

Aren't you happy now?

“Happy” is an extremely subjective emotion. What makes one person happy will not necessarily please someone else. You have to define your own happiness, and strive to achieve that state whenever possible.

Happiness is also contagious. A little bit of joy goes a long way, and has a snowball effect- because when you are happy, it makes those around you happy; then they in turn spread the happiness to others. Finding happiness in whatever you do is a large part of generating a permanently positive attitude.

It is a waste of time to do things that will not ultimately make you happy. When you find yourself faced with an unpleasant task that must nevertheless be accomplished, setting your attitude to “happy” will ensure the task is accomplished with minimal stress and maximum results. Alternately, if you have the choice to do something, and you know it won't make you happy, exercise your developing skills in saying “no.” Nothing can make you unhappy if you choose not to allow it to. This is the power of positive thinking.

Finding happy. Need some help locating your spring of happiness? Try a few of these methods for tapping happy:

• Act like a child. Children are generally the happiest creatures on Earth. Engaging in the activities you loved as a child is a wonderful way to generate a sense of the carefree happiness you enjoyed. Blow bubbles, swing as high as you can, run across the grass just for the sake of running, do somersaults or jumping jacks, or spin in place until you get so dizzy you fall down. A regular dose of childlike joy is a healing balm for your soul. Be uninhibited!
• Build a treasure box. Material reminders of happy can be a wonderful jumpstart to your happiness reserves. If you have small tokens of vacations you enjoyed, pleasant notes from friends or loved ones, or significant items you picked up here and there “just because,” consider creating a box to keep them in so you can go through it whenever you feel an attack of the blues coming on. A great addition to your treasure box would be something that captures your favorite smells. Scent is the most powerful emotional trigger there is, and the ability to experience a smell with positive connotations can lift your spirits far more effectively than anything else.
• Love the little things. The importance of little things that make you happy cannot be underestimated. A favorite book, the sound of your child's laughter, the scent of fresh popcorn or wet earth after the rain; any of the hundred small things you take pleasure in can be accessed to generate happiness. Keep a mental list of your favorite little things and draw on them whenever you feel a few quarts low on happy.
• Laugh. Just laugh. You don't need a reason, or even a trigger. At any given moment, no matter where you are or what you're doing, just start laughing. Laughter can give you an instant mood boost that lingers for long periods of time and strengthens your resolve to be happy.

Bee-have

“Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way you treat other people is a reflection of your own attitude. You cannot expect to sustain a positive attitude by acting negatively toward others. Even if your positive mood is not returned, you must strive to retain a sense of dignity and enthusiasm. Eventually, those who begrudge your happiness will either give in and join you, or give up and go away- and in either case, you will be rid of the negative influence without stooping to negativity yourself.

How can you refrain from treating other people poorly? The answer lies in your own behavior. It is not so much what you should do as what you should not do when dealing with negative emotions from others.

Following are some basic guidelines for behaving better and retaining your positive attitude:

DON’T Throw Fits. Many people resort to temper tantrums when they don't get their own way. Some do this without even realizing it. Ranting about the unfairness of the situation will not change things; all it will do is generate more negative emotions and fuel the flames. The person you're confronting probably won't give in because you're whining. Learn to recognize the signs when you start to experience a meltdown, and force yourself to step back and take a more rational look at the situation. There may be more to it than you first noticed.

DON’T Stay Angry. Getting angry is acceptable, and even beneficial in some circumstances. Anger can be a powerful motivating force. However, getting angry is far different from staying angry. Holding on to your anger is counterproductive; you will simply remain where you are in the situation and nothing will change except the level of your anger. When someone or something makes you mad, take that anger and channel its energies into doing something about the situation. If there is nothing to be done, use your anger to do something for yourself. But whatever you do, don't allow anger to keep you rooted to the spot.

DON’T Hold Grudges. Nearly everyone can think of at least one person they have vowed never to speak to again for as long as they live. You may be able to think of several people who fall into this category. Holding a grudge against someone can occur spontaneously, or it can be a carefully planned and executed assault. Some people have elevated grudge-holding to an art form, forcing everyone else around them to take extra precautions with the seating arrangements at family gatherings to avoid putting together people who are loudly ignoring each other. It is easy to form a grudge, and infinitely harder to let one go. However, you must let go of grudges in order to maintain a positive attitude. Maintaining negative feelings for a sustained length of time will taint your mental garden, and provide an automatic supply of negativity whenever you are reminded of the person you're not speaking to. By nursing a grudge, you are expending energy that could otherwise be used to enrich your own life. If you would rather not speak to whomever it is that angered you, that is a choice you can make. The better choice is to simply agree to disagree, and go your separate ways. Letting go makes you a better person, inside and out.

DON’T Act Superior. Believing you are better than others is a damaging attitude, even when it's the truth. A little humility goes a long way. When others feel comfortable talking with you, you will find your confidence growing and your attitude improving. Putting someone else down in order to make yourself feel better is a dangerous proposition, and more often than not it will backfire and return to haunt you. Be the best person you can be, but don't allow yourself to feel superior. We are all only human in the end.