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It is not easy to accept, that we ourselves are the cause of the difficulties that we are having. We may have built an impenetrable wall around ourselves; as a form of protection or as a place to hide. That may have taken place over a long period of time and even we ourselves may not be aware of its existence.
Should this be the case, then it will take time to remove that wall, to stop rebuilding or reinforcing it and allow yourself to reconnect with life.